John McCain has always been completely full of shit, but over the past decade, many people jumped on the “Straight Talk Express.” He appeared to be a refreshing change from all the other politicians who constantly lied. The big problem with this scenario is that McCain has always been a slimy politician and has never actually changed his ways, only the marketing of his brand. He was forced to do so because in the late 80s, his influence peddling led to American taxpayers bailing out Lincoln Savings and Loan for $2 billion. Sound familiar?

John McCain is exactly what is not needed at this time in our history. As our government attempts to throw $700 billion at more failed private businesses, everyone should understand what McCain did during the Savings and Loan Crisis. To put it simply, Johnny pressured regulators to back off Lincoln Savings, even though it was making risky moves. Eventually, Lincoln was seized, many investors were out their life savings and taxpayers were footing the bill of $2 billion. Lincoln’s owner, Charles Keating was arrested.

Lincoln was the most expensive failure in the national S&L scandal. Taxpayers picked up the bill for the bailout.

Johnny and Keating went way back. They met in 1981 at a Navy League dinner. During McCain’s first run for Congress, Keating pulled in a sweet $11K for Johnny. In 1983, he hosted a $1000 plate dinner for McCain, and in 1986, he brought in a nice $50K for Johnny’s Senate run. By the time 1987 rolled around, Keating had tossed $112,000 to McCain.

And those were just the political contributions. McCain’s family also was doing business and traveling on the Keating credit card.

And it paid off.

McCain and four other Senators, who became known as the Keating Five, even went to meet with San Francisco regulators in an attempt to get them to back off American Continental and Lincoln. In the end, to the great frustration of regulators, the savings was not seized for another two years. During that time, much damage was done.

Of course, these are the pre-maverick years we are talking about. Since then, McCain has changed his ways and become a straight shooter. Or, to put it another way, he re-branded himself as a man who learned from his mistakes and would therefore always approach his duties differently. People bought it, even though it was complete bullshit. The bullshit re-branding was the only way for McCain to survive as a politician. He was the sober alcoholic, the clean drug addict, the asshole who found Jesus. And it worked.

But McCain has never stopped being the slimy politician that he is. Here’s a pick of Johnny meeting with con man Raffaello Follieri, on a yacht in Montenegro two years ago. It was Johnny’s birthday! What better way to spend it than on a boat with a criminal?!

Sweet. That’s some serious straight shooting and mavericking. Oh, and Follieri pleaded guilty to conspiracy to commit wire fraud, eight counts of wire fraud and five counts of money laundering last week.

Alright, you’re saying, that’s just McCain and a foreign con man. Could have happened to anyone, right? Yep. Just the same way campaign manager Rick Davis happened to head up a Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac lobbyist group called Homeownership Alliance.

So, Johnny’s campaign manager WAS the problem. But he’d love you to believe something else.

Right. Standing up to special interests is what McCain is all about. That’s why he was one of the Keating Five and has Davis as his campaign manager. That’s why his campaign is overflowing with lobbyists, 83 to be exact. Naturally, some have connections to Fannie and Freddie Mae.

So, as you can see, McCain is getting far away from those same special interests that lead him down that Keating Five road. But that’s not even the worst of McCain’s connections. No, the worst is Phill Gramm.

Phil Gramm used to be a Senator. In the year 2000, he used a “backroom maneuver to slip into law” a bill that kept credit default swaps unregulated.

Guess how that bill worked out? Yes, he’s one of the main architects of the current financial disaster. Oh, and it also allowed Enron to “run rampant.” Remember Enron? Yeah, that would be Gramm.

He’s a walking disaster of a human being.

But that doesn’t stop the Maverick from looking to Gramm for advice.

After Phil Gramm called Americans “whiners” a couple of months ago during a speech on the economy, he was forced to step down from the McCain campaign. But that does not mean McCain has ruled him out as treasury secretary. Check out McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds on Friday.



Good news. Right now there is one man in America who should not be treasury secretary: Phil Gramm. But McCain can’t rule him out. If you are a conservative and you vote for McCain, turn in your conservative card. You are living a lie.

If McCain is elected president we are completely fucked.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.