For a man who spent five years in a POW prison, McCain sure is a relentless pussy. He’s having a big boo hoo party over America’s questioning of his moronic VP pick, Sarah Palin. Apparently, if you pick on poor, little Sarah, you are being a sexist. Never mind that she is supremely unqualified to be president of the United States, any criticism is all about her having a vagina.

The mighty Republican Party, longtime defenders of women’s rights, are now hitting the airwaves claiming the only reason people are attacking Sarah Palin is because she is a woman. Please ignore the Troopergate scandal, the fact that she is married to a traitor and was at one time a traitor herself, lied about visiting Ireland, didn’t travel out of the country until two years ago, belongs to an insanely backwards church, thinks 11-year-olds who were raped by their father should be forced to give birth, used government money to fund a “cure gays” organization, tried to ban books, abused her power by firing people who opposed her views or divorced her sister, believes Iraq is a war being fought for God, and has a preacher who claimed voting for John Kerry would send you to hell. None of those things are relevant for baby time McCain. If you criticize Sarah Palin, it’s because she’s a woman with a pregnant daughter.

See, the pregnant daughter situation is off limits. You can tell that from this video of John McCain greeting the father and mother of the fetus in Minnesota.



That’s what one does when they want such a private situation to stay private; they bring reporters to take photos of the guy who shot his goo into the 17-year-old girl. Also, when one doesn’t want anyone to talk about the pregnancy situation, they come out to the media and break the story of their own daughter’s unwed pregnancy. Parading said couple around at the Republican National Convention? Totally cool. After all, it is a private situation. That’s why the soon-to-be husband of the 17-year-old daughter has been hastily flown in to be paraded around– because they need their privacy. Remember, if you bring this up, you are being sexist.

See, playing the “gender card” is totally cool, as opposed to when Obama supporters claimed McCain was playing the “race card” after he created ads that had obvious racial overtones. That was different. I guess because Obama has a penis and black skin, while Palin has a vagina and white skin. If anybody dared say that McCain’s ads were racist, he and his people screamed that Obama was playing the “race card.” It was soooo offensive. But now, when anyone dares to question Palin’s obvious lack of qualifications and bizarre beliefs, they are sexist. McCain is a weak, clownish pussy who can’t stand up and take any sort of heat.

But the most amusing part of this story is that Obama has gone out of his way to say “families are off limits.” Most Democrats are avoiding the topic of her pregnancy and trying to talk about the multitude of other problems with Palin. She’s a walking disaster, so it’s not difficult. But whenever someone brings up just one of the multitude of problems with Palin, the McCain camp screams like children that Democrats and the “liberal media” are attacking Palin’s “private life” because she is “a woman.” It’s laughable and quite sickening. The Republicans are using a 17-year-old girls horrible situation for their own political advantage. They are now driving the story of the girl’s pregnancy, using her as bait and creating a victim story of their own making.

The victim here is a young unwed couple who were outed by Republicans and are now being used in the biggest game on Earth. McCain and his people are complete and total scum.

And insane hypocrites. Right-wingers jumped out of their panties when Jamie Lynn Spears announced she was pregnant. That was a glaring example of our societies decay, but Bristol Palin’s pregnancy is a celebration of the pro-life cause and should not be discussed for any reason. Certainly not because her mother is using her as a pawn as she attempts to win the vice presidency.

John McCain is a coward. Real men stand up and defend the choices they have made; they don’t make excuses and use children in horrible situations as pawns to fulfill their ambitious desires. Real men also don’t play the gender card and make claims that certain topics should be off limits, when they are guilty of far worse behavior.

See, that’s sexism, McCain. Attacking a teenage girl for her looks. What a fucking coward. Oh, and real men don’t make jokes about women loving rape.



He’s a scumbag, pure and simple. And he’s weak. Weak for allowing the religious lunatics of his party to make his vice presidential choice for him.

Bending over for those he used to fight against.

But I guess that’s why he spent five years in a POW camp, suffering inhumanly for five years, so someday he could run for president and not stand by his convictions. Any real man who goes through a horrifying experience comes to understand that life is about not doing what you feel is right and allowing others to make your most important decisions. It's true. Torture apparently just makes one a groveling bitch for the religious right. At this point, I am more disgusted by McCain because he was a POW. What man doesn’t walk away from something like that with some personal conviction? What man doesn’t walk away from 5 years of torture and say, “I’m going to live my life the way I want.” A man like John McCain, I guess. Full of ambition and weak to the core.

There’s your teenage-girl attacking, rape joke making, using teenage girls as a pawn war hero. Feel the pride, Republicans.

I should also ad that I was not going to vote for McCain or Obama, but McCain's choice of Palin as VP has forced me to rethink that decision. I will now reluctantly cast my vote for Obama. She is that frightening of a human being. Palin is a religious lunatic of the highest caliber. I see no difference between the Taliban and Neanderthals like Palin.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. Check back each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for more from FearTheReaper, and read his blog, Stop All Monsters.