Ah, Asshole Fuckfacing. It’s a glorious thing to behold, not because it’s beautiful, but because it makes you think you are a better person than you actually are. It’s like looking at dirty, angry hobos. You know you’re better than that, so enjoy. Buddha was all about hating on Asshole Fuckaces and he’s the one who actually started the list. Since that time, the list has been passed on and on. Now it is in my powerful hands and I treat it with the respect and fear it deserves. Each week I scour the news looking for the worst of the worst and then I present them to you, for mocking. This week is no different, so put on your raincoats because this is going to be ugly.

First up, another addition to a long list of presidential Asshole Fuckfacery.

One of the biggest failures of the Bush administration was to drop the ball on North Korea, encouraging the crazy country to create nuclear weapons. Clinton had an agreement in place that would have prevented such an occurrence. Bush blew it off and called North Korea “evil” and the rest was history. North Korea now has at least two nuclear bombs.

Talks have been ongoing between North Korea, China, Japan, Russia, the US and South Korea. There was a big breakthrough in June, when North Korea submitted an account of its nuclear facilities to the other five countries. The expectation was that the US would, in return, remove North Korea from their “terrorism sponsor list.”

Let’s see…keep a country on a terrorism list and they keep building nuclear bombs, or take them off the list and they stop. Well, what to do? If you’re an Asshole Fuckface, you do the thing that will keep North Korea in the nuke bomb business.

Nicely done, Asshole Fuckfaces. Keep up the horrible work; it’s amazing to watch.

Next up, some Swiftboating Asshole Fuckfaces.

Now, we all expect the right-wing Swiftboaters to launch some horrible, horrible ads against Obama. It’s pretty much as expected as rising of the sun or fat, four time divorced, drug addict Rush Limbaugh saying something racist. And the Swiftboaters did so last week, hitting Obama with an ad linking him to William Ayers. Yawn. Unlike Kerry, Obama hit back fast and the result was pretty hilarious. The Swiftboaters aren’t in this Asshole Fuckface Roundup for the ad; they are in the Roundup because they turned into a bunch of crying little bitches.

Besides going after the ad with one of his own, Obama went to court. The Obama campaign claimed the ad was a “violation of federal campaign finance laws” and asked networks to abstain from airing it. A letter was sent to the Department of Justice asking for a criminal investigation of the Swiftboaters. The Swiftboat group in question is a listed as a 501.c, which is a tax-exempt non-profit. That means it can lobby on issues, but is only allowed to engage in an "insubstantial" amount of activity supporting or opposing political candidates.

The Ayers ad clearly seems to violate the law, so Obama went to court. Obama’s lawyer, Bob Bauer wrote the DOJ asking for an investigation...

The Obama campaign also went after stations airing the ad.

That’s called fighting fire with fire. The big bad Swiftboater’s response? Crying.

Aw, did da liberul not let you shove a broom handle up his ass? Poor little babies.

What up, irony? How you been?

Aw. Is Obama totally fucking with you? You should totally be able to lie and be horrible cunts without anyone stopping you, right? Sorry, and good luck with your Asshole Fuckfacery this election season. Can’t wait to see how much of your money you spend in court.

Next up, another right wing Asshole Fuckface can’t handle what Obama’s bringing.

But this time, I’m not referring to Barack Obama. Michelle Obama drove a man insane on Monday night. An unidentified man in Pasco, Florida, was watching Michelle Obama’s convention speech, when he couldn’t take it anymore.

The police shot round after round of tear gas into the RV, but dude wasn’t coming out. Six ours later, at five am, the Asshole Fuckface finally came out of his RV and gave up.

Of course. I mean, he lives in Florida in a trailer and a black woman is speaking about her husband, nominee of the Democratic Party. It’s the white trash apocalypse.

Finally, a little league in Connecticut is overflowing with Asshole Fuckfaces.

New Haven Little League officials want all their kids to grow up in an unrealistic world, in which no one else is better than them, they never get their asses handed to them and all competition is equal.

Jericho Scott is a 10-year-old kid with a 40 mph fastball. He plays in the Youth Baseball League of New Haven and has thrown 5 no-hitters. His team is 8-0. That’s fucking awesome.

Uh, what? Welcome to not sports. Way to develop a rare talent. You could be the town where the great Jericho Scott came from, instead of the town that drove away the young Jericho Scott.

Okay, now you just created an entire team of 10-year-old pussies. You know what you do when confronted by an awesome force kids? Give up. That’s a fantastic life lesson. Don’t ever try your best against someone better, just walk away.

Oh, good. Maybe he’ll develop a horrible complex at a young age and stop pitching.

That’s what happens when Asshole Fuckfaces are in control, Jericho. Maybe you can grow up to be a criminal, instead.

Congrats to all of this week's Asshole Fuckfaces. You will each recieve a FearTheReaper bicycle seat. You may also read more of FearTheReaper's spew on his blog, Stop All Monsters.