• commentary
  • THURSDAY JULY 31 2008 6:00 AM

Republican Corruption Blowout!

Republicans seem to be having some sort of summer corruption blowout. Between an on-the-run Karl Rove, a gagged EPA, a law breaking Justice Department and an indicted Senator Ted Stevens, it’s a jamboree of wrongness. The current Republican Party takes a daily bath in sweet corruption, but this week stands above all others.

Let us start with Karl Rove, everyone’s favorite pasty, flabby beast. Yesterday, the House Judiciary Committee voted to hold Karl in contempt of Congress.


A House panel Wednesday voted to cite former top White House aide Karl Rove for contempt of Congress for defying a subpoena to answer questions about the dismissals of several federal prosecutors as its Senate counterpart explored punishments for an array of alleged past and present Bush administration misdeeds.


Karl is, of course, willing to speak to members of the House Judiciary Committee behind closed doors without any recording of the conversation, because that’s what innocent guys do. He also wants it to happen in a submarine in the middle of the Atlantic and everyone must be nude. Also, after the meeting all Senators must be sandblasted until their hair and skin is removed. Finally, they must be blinded and their memories erased.

Karl doesn’t want to testify in front of Congress because he’s as guilty as they come. But don’t expect the Democrats to do anything. Nancy The Coward Pelosi still has to approve the final vote in front of the entire House. If someone could be held accountable, you can be sure Nancy will run away. But still, it’s fun to see Karl’s name and “contempt” in the same headline.

The Justice Department is also looking like a giant, steaming turd today. Anyone could have read the story on the front page of the Washington Post yesterday. The Justice Department’s Office of the Inspector General and Office of Professional Responsibility released a report and, well, is it good when the Justice Department has been breaking the law? I'm guessing it's not good, mostly because it is called THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT.


For nearly two years, a young political aide sought to cultivate a "farm system" for Republicans at the Justice Department, hiring scores of prosecutors and immigration judges who espoused conservative priorities and Christian lifestyle choices.

That aide, Monica M. Goodling, exercised what amounted to veto power over a wide range of critical jobs, asking candidates for their views on abortion and same-sex marriage and maneuvering around senior officials who outranked her, including the department's second-in-command.


Oops. All that stuff is illegal, Monica. But it’s not surprising, considering she was the “White House liaison.” Huh, I wonder why Karl won’t answer questions under oath?

And speaking of breaking the law, what up Ted Stevens? Yesterday, Ted became the first Senator in 20 years to be indicted for felonies while serving in office. Well done, sir. The bat-shit, crazy Alaskan Senator was indicted on seven felony counts for lying to hide the $250,000 in “gifts and services” he received from an oil and construction company.


VECO employees and contractors performed architectural design services, put the house on stilts and installed a new three-bedroom first floor, a finished basement, a garage, a Viking gas range and a wraparound deck, according to the indictment.

While Stevens paid a construction firm for its work, he never reimbursed VECO or its contractors.


Shit. I didn’t realize I couldn’t take a three-bedroom first floor, a basement, a garage, a gas range and a wraparound deck from my buddy. How about if I give it back?


Meanwhile, as Stevens then served as the powerful chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee, Allen and VECO sought his help with international projects, grants from the National Science Foundation and funding for a natural gas pipeline on Alaska’s North Slope, the grand jury charged.


Stevens is looking at 5 years in the slammer. He’s 84. I’m laughing.

And finally, the EPA is going into some sort of Branch Davidian Waco lockdown, sans the kid fucking. Under Bush, the EPA has taken a lot of shit for lying and basically doing the opposite of what it was created to do. Several congressional committees have requested documents on the EPA’s position on global warming and the EPA responded with a giant, “Go fuck yourself.” Last week, EPA Administrator Stephen Johnson decided not to appear in front of two Senate committees to discuss why the agency does the opposite of its staff's technical and legal recommendations. And now the agency is in crazy lockdown mode.


The Environmental Protection Agency is telling its pollution enforcement officials not to talk with congressional investigators, reporters and even the agency's own inspector general, according to an internal e-mail provided to The Associated Press.

The June 16 message instructs 11 managers in the EPA's Office of Enforcement and Compliance Assurance, the branch of the agency charged with making sure environmental laws are followed, to remind their staff members to keep quiet.


Let’s fire some tear gas in there and send in the battering rams. My God, just think of the shit we are going to learn about these agencies when Bush leaves office and a new crew comes in.

The current Republican Party is insane.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and stand up comedian. You can read more of his blathering on his blog, Stop All Monsters.

 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3

Next

Comments
Weatherpunk

Weatherpunk

Japan
June 2008

JUL 31, 2008 07:22 AM

Anyone else get the feeling that we, as a nation, will have a synchronized dry heave when everything that has happened over the last 8-ish years is brought to light?

FTR, I hope you know that it will be bigger than even a month's worth of AFF articles can handle. You MAY need to write a book...

erin_broadley

erin_broadley

Los Angeles, CA
October 2006

JUL 31, 2008 10:22 AM

Weatherpunk said:
Anyone else get the feeling that we, as a nation, will have a synchronized dry heave when everything that has happened over the last 8-ish years is brought to light?

FTR, I hope you know that it will be bigger than even a month's worth of AFF articles can handle. You MAY need to write a book...



I'd buy a FearTheReaper book.

MetalsmithJJ

MetalsmithJJ

Denton, TX
February 2007

JUL 31, 2008 11:26 AM

I doubt that this Administration will authorize any agency to bust down the doors to the EPA and bring out every EPA staff member with black hoods over their heads and ship them all off to different prisons and the only time they interact with people is their weekly interrogation with the Senate Committee...

...but that would be sweet.


mayhap the EPA will have an 'accidental fire' like the White House did a few months ago, destroying any evidence that would prove them all AFF's.

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

JUL 31, 2008 12:16 PM

MetalsmithJJ said:
I doubt that this Administration will authorize any agency to bust down the doors to the EPA and bring out every EPA staff member with black hoods over their heads and ship them all off to different prisons and the only time they interact with people is their weekly interrogation with the Senate Committee...

...but that would be sweet.


mayhap the EPA will have an 'accidental fire' like the White House did a few months ago, destroying any evidence that would prove them all AFF's.



Maybe this is one of those "common language" things, but this


Last week, EPA Administrator Stephen Johnson decided not to appear in front of two Senate committees to discuss why the agency does the opposite of its staff's technical and legal recommendations.



suggests to me it's not the EPA staff who are the problem, but the politically-appointed senior managers.

nice_pun_bro

nice_pun_bro

Irvine, CA
January 2007

JUL 31, 2008 03:19 PM

It doesn't seem like there's much to be done about Karl Rove. Especially since the Fifth Amendment gives him the right to stonewall Congress if he were to ever show up. Stupid Constitution...

Vykos1579

Vykos1579

Higganum, CT
April 2008

JUL 31, 2008 03:45 PM

I just hope that bush does not have the athority to pardon all these ass hats before he leaves office. If he does you know he will. puke

Varuka_Salt

Varuka_Salt

I'm lost
October 2006

JUL 31, 2008 03:49 PM

Vykos1579 said:
I just hope that bush does not have the athority to pardon all these ass hats before he leaves office. If he does you know he will. puke



Well, they have to be convicted of something before he can pardon them, and I doubt you'll see any convictions before the elections are over.

injuredcyclist

injuredcyclist

Portland, OR
March 2006

JUL 31, 2008 04:48 PM

my browser isnt that bright today; the reply button doesnt want to work.

anyway, according to a recent Slate article, "Generally speaking, once an act has been committed, the president can issue a pardon at any time_regardless of whether charges have even been filed."

so a lot of these assholes might actually get away with everything, which would be awesome.
puke

edited for grammer.

Bartlebee

Bartlebee

United Kingdom
February 2007

JUL 31, 2008 04:52 PM

Fear the Reapers Politacl blogs always leave me thinking "Wow America is fucked" and makes me feel glad not to be there, I mean how can people just decide not to go and be questioned by authorities about possibly illegal activities, its just so fucking arogant whatever

sick

sick

Minneapolis, MN
June 2003

JUL 31, 2008 04:59 PM

msupenguin said:
anyway, according to a recent Slate article, "Generally speaking, once an act has been committed, the president can issue a pardon at any time_regardless of whether charges have even been filed."



That's true. Ford pardoned Nixon, who hadn't actually been convicted or even formally charged with anything.

Accepting a pardon is, however, an admission of guilt, as established by Burdick v. United States.

And now Subrosa can come tell me how I got the law wrong. wink

Azadeth

Azadeth

Fairport, NY
August 2006

JUL 31, 2008 05:05 PM

Those of us who have been fighting these people since day one (and not the guilty douchebags who voted for Bush and are now trying to go back on their decision by claiming ignorance) have been letting this shit slide for far too long. We have what Bill Maher calls "fuckup fatigue," so that when news like this breaks, we just shrug our shoulders and say "what do you expect by now?"

livertarian

livertarian

Fairfax, VA
February 2008

AUG 01, 2008 01:58 PM

It's too bad the Stevens indictment probably won't allow him to continue his work on behalf of our wonderful Series of Tubes.

SergeantPsycho

SergeantPsycho

USA
January 2007

AUG 01, 2008 07:48 PM

msupenguin said:
my browser isnt that bright today; the reply button doesnt want to work.



That happens quite a bit.

As far as FTR's post, yeah, Ted Stevens is an asshole (look up "Bridge to Nowhere"), but I don't think corruption is just a Republican Problem. I seem to recall around 2007, that Nancy Pelosi was asking for a new Boeing 757. At a cost of $65 Million, that's a lot of money that could go to more nobler causes (like soldier's benefits, or fixing nation infrastructure or something). And let's not forget, our good friend,
William Jefferson.

CoyoteMike

CoyoteMike

Iowa City, IA
May 2006

AUG 01, 2008 07:58 PM

SergeantPsycho said:
As far as FTR's post, yeah, Ted Stevens is an asshole (look up "Bridge to Nowhere"), but I don't think corruption is just a Republican Problem. I seem to recall around 2007, that Nancy Pelosi was asking for a new Boeing 757. At a cost of $65 Million, that's a lot of money that could go to more nobler causes (like soldier's benefits, or fixing nation infrastructure or something). And let's not forget, our good friend,
William Jefferson.



Should we pull out Jack Abramoff, Tom DeLay, and that whole mess? It came up tonight that there are new developments, and Abramoff is starting to name names.

TheJuanupsman

TheJuanupsman

Hopkins, MN
April 2004

AUG 01, 2008 08:54 PM

SergeantPsycho said:

msupenguin said:
my browser isnt that bright today; the reply button doesnt want to work.



That happens quite a bit.



I feel better now. I thought it was just me. I'm a little surprised it's working now.

I'm also surprised that there hasn't been anyone trying to defend Stevens or the GOP yet. This doesn't seem like the CE I remember.

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3

Next