Now that we are in the middle of an energy disaster brought on by years of idiotic energy policy that were begun under the Grand Retard, Ronald Reagan, let’s take a look at what Jimmy Carter wanted to do. We didn’t do much of it, because Carter told Americans the truth and we cried like fucking babies and continued to shit our pants. If we had listened to Carter, we’d be toilet trained by now. Instead, we are living in the most horribly shit-in diapers of all time. And it’s pretty much all the fault of the right wing.

Carter delivered an energy speech on July 15, 1979. At the time, things were not looking good. The U.S. was being hit by record high energy prices, severe energy shortages, and a recession. (Sound familiar?) People were pissed at Carter, causing his approval ratings to plummet to Bush-like depths. Imagine that. A president as unpopular as Bush. So, Carter gave a speech, during which he asked the American people to adapt to the energy crisis, its limits and to change our ways.

Carter said, "Human identity is no longer defined by what one does but by what one owns." He was right, of course. But Carter didn’t have the ability to convince his fellow lawmakers to make the tough choices. He was labeled a “pessimist.” Naturally, for every pessimist, there is an optimist. In this case, it was Ronald Reagan. Reagan blew hot wind up America’s ass and we went right back to our destructive ways. Reagan was a pretty fucking stupid human being. As matter of fact, he was shockingly stupid. Had we listened to Carter and accepted a bit of personal responsibility, we might not be driving rapidly toward a cliff today.

The problems Carter identified in his speech were our dependence on oil and the connection among consumption, energy use, and environmental change. Sound familiar?

Here are some highlights from Jimmy Carter’s “Crisis of Confidence” Speech.

And no. Not only will we, but we’ll use more and more and more. Jimmy didn’t really foresee the right wing jerk off transportation vessel called The Hummer and the murder of alternative energy.

Good luck with that.

Could you imagine if we had the intelligence to follow through with this? Twenty-percent solar? We’d be a tad better off. Carter was saying we needed the largest “peacetime commitment of funds” because our path would obviously lead to wars. And it has. And it will lead to more, and eventually a world war.

Uh. Okay. Not so great. Coal’s a bit of a bummer. But it is preferable to being controlled by OPEC and having to take over countries like Iraq and Afghanistan in order to keep our gluttonous habits going. Carter was actually successful with this one. He reduced the percentage of oil used in our electricity production from 20% to 3%. He also expanded the Clean Air Act to combat the effects of coal power generation.

Anyone want to guess when the last refinery was built in the U.S.? Try 32 years. That's the free market kicking ass and taking numbers. Although, South Dakota is now threatening to build one. That would be 1 in 32 years.

No fucking shit. This is the point where I want to dig up guys like Reagan, just to shit on their head. Personal fucking responsibility is the great enemy of right-wingers. Reagan killed all the tax credits that would have allowed people to "build conservation into their homes."

Whoa! Public transportation! Now close your eyes and imagine every city with a working subway system, or rail line. Mmmm. Carter. Jimmy also pushed for fuel economy standards in cars to reduce oil consumption. Republicans fought back. And they created tax rebates for giant SUVs and Hummers.

No shit. But that’s not the Republican way. The Republican way is to get more money into the pockets of oil companies. Every step outlined above takes money away from the oil boys. So, when Reagan took over, he slowly eliminated anything that would have led us away from a path of energy independence.

Instead of confronting the problem head on, Reagan chose to mock Carter. He went after the president, claiming he blamed the American people for the energy crisis – because Carter had the gall to ask Americans to sacrifice and conserve. It was, quite simply, a moron vs. a thinking man.

And that has been the right wing stance ever since. Conservatives have no ability to comprehend complex answers to the energy challenges we face. It’s like trying to talk to a cat about math. So, when you hear a Republican telling us how we should drill off the coast of our country, please urinate on their face. Because drilling was their answer to the crisis in the '70s and we did it. It has not helped. No one should ever listen to a Republican when it comes to energy. There is only one answer: Invest in alternative energy now.

If a right wing asshole attempts to open his pork rind hole, tell him the story of the solar panels on the White House. Jimmy Carter had them installed during his presidency. Reagan then had them torn down. He also killed off tax cuts for solar power and gutted our solar research program. How’d that work out? Oh, I can tell you. Two of the solar researchers he fired went on the win Nobel prizes – in other fields. Because he was a Class A fucking idiot.

FearTheReaper is a writer, comic and actor. You may read more of his naughtiness on his blog, Stop All Monsters.