The Green Party had a nice little run, but they have clearly turned into the joke they were always destined to be. The Green Party began in 1991 and was based on the Germany Green Party. The Greens stand for “environmentalism, non-hierarchical participatory democracy, social justice, respect for diversity, peace and nonviolence.” Oh, and they nominate clowns to be president.

In 1995, the Green Party decided to make a run for the presidency. Many Greens were opposed, wanting instead to go after local offices and slowly build from the bottom up. Naturally, they went after Ralph Nader to be their candidate. Who wouldn’t want a cranky, old man to run the country? Nader accepted the nomination and then placed a $5,000 campaign-spending limit, in order to avoid filing a financial statement with the FEC. After buying pencils, they were pretty much out of money. Nader made it onto 22 state ballots and pulled in a whopping 685,297 votes, or 0.7% of all votes cast. The only way was up. Seriously, they probably couldn’t do worse.

The Green Party continued to grow and focus on local races around the country. Then 2000 rolled around and it was time to get the Nader monster moving again. The timing was perfect for a 3rd party, because of the ugly partisanship that was happening in Washington. Bush actually ran as the candidate of “change.” In the end, according to popular belief, Nader won just enough votes to keep Gore out of the White House. People forget that Gore actually lost a debate or two to Bush and was as stiff and exciting as a door. He also ran an atrocious campaign and probably deserved to lose. Oh, and Bush stole the election.

Regardless of all that, Nader was blamed for the loss. Members of the Green Party were blamed for a complete idiot taking over the presidency and they have been on the defensive ever since. As the 2004 elections began to heat up, Democrats put a lot of pressure on the Green Party and Ralph Nader not to run. The Green Party split into different factions, each with their own idea of how to proceed. Some wanted to not run at all, some wanted to avoid swing states and others wanted to go for it. In the end, they went for it.

This is where it gets awesome. Ralph Nader decided to run as an Independent. So, the Greens nominated attorney David Cobb as their candidate. Then Ralph decided he wanted the endorsement of the Green Party. Got that? He didn’t want the nomination, only the endorsement of a party that already had a candidate. And many of them went for it. Several high up Green Party members went to work for Nader.

In the end, Cobb was on the ballot in 28 states, while Nader was on the ballot in 35 states. Nader received 465,650 votes, while Cobb reeled in a massive 119,859 votes. The total was 2.3 million less than in 2000. Who would have thought after the 2000 election and with a tiny party split in two that they would only pull down 600,000 votes?

Now, it’s 2008 and the Green Party has decided to go from cranky old man to bat shit crazy lady. Nader declared early on that he would decline the Green Party nomination. I guess that’s why he won the California and Massachusetts Green Parties. Why would you want to stop the cranky old "I don't want it" man magic? So, the Green Party looked elsewhere. Instead of choosing one of their own, a member with not as much visibility, but someone who adheres to their policies and has worked within the party for years, they went with a former Democratic nutjob, Cynthia McKinney. I honestly don’t know if they could have found a worse candidate. It’s spectacular ineptitude. The woman is a train wreck. She was basically driven from her party with pitchforks and didn't leave behind many friends. She has a knack for saying the very worst thing possible.

During the 2000 presidential race, Cynthia let this gem slip:

Gore was obviously upset, mostly because his campaign manager, Donna Brazile, was black.

In 2002, Cynthia went a little too far on a Berkeley radio station and kinda alluded that the Bush administration took down the twin towers.

She makes a good point. Why didn't Bush warn all those people in the World Trade Center before he had it blown up? (Citation needed) And…

Yay! The Carlyle Group! I love it! Get your conspiracy hat on!

Her fellow Democrats obviously scurried away like rats. McKinney was defeated in a 2002 Democratic primary by Denise Majette. Naturally, it was the Jews fault – at least according to her dear old Dad.

Could you spell that again please, this is radio after all. She obviously comes from quality stock.

In 2004, Cynthia won back her seat. During that term she was best known for punching a cop.

Lawmakers wear a pin that identifies them to police. Cynthia didn’t like wearing hers, for whatever reason. So, when the cop attempted to stop her, she took a swing. That is how lawmakers do things. Now, wait, I'm thinking of Bartertown. Of course, Cynthia claimed she was being “racially profiled.”

The Capitol police chief saw it differently.

No shit. Who would have thought? Sign that lady up for president! I would pay an enormous amount of money to get Cynthia into the presidential debates. She is a true liberal, but also a complete fucking nutter.

And as a bonus, if she is elected, then dies in office, we'll have our first Hip Hop President! Oh, yeah! McKinney picked her VP this weekend and it was none other than Rosa Alicia Clemente, community organizer, journalist and Hip-Hop activist. I understand she has mad skillz.

This should be the end of the Green Party. They have gone from being a party with an interesting philosophy to seeking out any clown with a name. And Cynthia McKinney is one hell of a clown.

FearTheReaper is a writer, actor and comedian. He also writes a blog, called Stop All Monsters.