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Asshole Fuckface Roundup #53

SATURDAY JULY 5 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.

TAGS: Tyson Gay, George W. Bush

Just one day after Americans celebrated the birth of their horrible nation, they can celebrate something more important: Asshole Fuckface Roundup Day. Throw a fucking BBQ! Blow off some fireworks! Make love to a dog! It’s Asshole Fuckface day! Since man popped out of monkeys (I think that’s what happened) there have been Asshole Fuckfaces. And because of the existence of Asshole Fuckfaces, God made people like me, who scour the news to find the worst of the worst and drag them into the light, for all to see. We then mock them as a group and feel better about ourselves. The Buddha would have been seriously into this shit. So, strap on your favorite nylon vest and pants because it’s going to be messy.

First up, what’s an Asshole Fuckface Roundup without a Christian scared of words?

This week sprinter Tyson Gay won the 100 meter final at the Olympic Trials in Eugene, Oregon. He ran the race in 9.68 seconds, but the time will not stand as a record because there was a nice breeze blowing from behind him. What the fuck does this have to do with Christians? Well, they use auto-replace in the stories they pick up from the AP. I guess some words aren’t allowed and others are. Take gay and homosexual, for instance.



Nicely done, you Asshole Fuckfaces. How is living in fear of words going? Here’s what the article was supposed to look like. The crazy Christians realized the mistake made by their auto correct program and fixed it – but not before people noticed and called them out on their total and complete retardation.

Next up, some Asshole Fuckfaces kick old ladies in the face for Jesus.

Canadian evangelist Todd Bentley is causing a bit of a stir in Florida. They are used to evangelists down there, but Todd seems to be going over the line a bit.


The revival seems set to meet in the tents at Sun 'n Fun for the indefinite future, even though some national and local Pentecostal leaders are wary of giving approval to it.


Why are they wary? Well, Todd has an interesting style. He is covered in tattoos, has a couple of lip piercings and loves pro wrestling. He had a few private conversations with angels seven years ago. Also, he claims that prayers have raised 25 people from the dead. The twice-daily show is a bit energetic.


One local Pentecostal pastor who attended the revival said he came away "uncomfortable."


Huh. Think that has anything to do with Bentley’s healing methods?



What? No setting someone on fire to stop their acne? Come on, Bentley, Jesus is calling.

Next, what would the Roundup be without a showing from our country’s greatest Asshole Fuckface.

This week Bush heaped praise on his administration and John McCain, by pretending they didn’t strongly oppose the new GI Bill.



Hey, that’s nice. Give credit to McCain, the guy who was fucking opposed to the bill, the guy Webb tried to convince for over a year to help him get this bill passed, they guy who said he thought the bill was a bad idea because it would make life better for soldiers, which would cause them to leave the military.


They are very hard to replace. Encouraging people to choose to not become noncommissioned officers would hurt the military and our country very badly.” McCain argues his bill would have a smaller impact on retention rates than the legislation that the Senate passed.


And, by all means, praise yourself, because you also opposed the legislation because soldiers might want to better themselves.


The Pentagon and White House have so far resisted a new GI Bill out of fear that too many will use it - choosing to shed the uniform in favor of school and civilian life.


But now that Congress passed the GI Bill with a veto proof majority – George has decided to take credit. Go fuck yourself, you dirty cunt. You’re the worst president in the history of the United States. You can suck on that ‘til you die, you unparalleled failure.

Finally, one of the biggest Asshole Fuckfaces on the face of the Earth, John Stossel.

How awesome are oil companies? John Stossel breaks it down.



The guy who responded in that video was awesome.

Congrats to all of this week's Asshole Fuckfaces. You will each receive a FearTheReaper oil painting portrait.

 

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J24U

J24U

Danvers, MA
February 2006

JUL 06, 2008 09:13 AM

ldhablo666 said:
But, maybe you're right, shit, a (recorded/documented/ i.e., provable) 150 IQ may just not spend like it used to...
love



Personally, I don't care if you've got papers signed by the entire membership of mensa that certifies you'e the smartest guy in the country, you still came into this thread acting like a dick. It's attitude like that that makes it difficult for an atheist to have a serious back and forth discussion about the nature of faith with a believer once they've been exposed to an ignorant attitude like the one you have displayed.

Of course the idea of an actual discussion may be unimportant to you. You strike me as the type who would just talk over someone with an opposing view, just so you wouldn't have to hear their side of things.

Of course I may be wildly incorrect about you, but you've given me little else to go on.

Peace.

ldhablo666

ldhablo666

Aurora, CO
August 2004

JUL 06, 2008 09:25 AM

J24U said:

ldhablo666 said:
But, maybe you're right, shit, a (recorded/documented/ i.e., provable) 150 IQ may just not spend like it used to...
love



Personally, I don't care if you've got papers signed by the entire membership of mensa that certifies you'e the smartest guy in the country, you still came into this thread acting like a dick. It's attitude like that that makes it difficult for an atheist to have a serious back and forth discussion about the nature of faith with a believer once they've been exposed to an ignorant attitude like the one you have displayed.

Of course the idea of an actual discussion may be unimportant to you. You strike me as the type who would just talk over someone with an opposing view, just so you wouldn't have to hear their side of things.

Of course I may be wildly incorrect about you, but you've given me little else to go on.

Peace.



You, sir are right on target. I am not a nice person. In fact I am as you say, "a dick". But that mullet-head accused me of being "not so bright", and as my Mensa membership may attest to (the one that doesn't impress you one bit!), he's wrong.

Further, I don't give a fuck if religious people think us atheists are 'nice, decent folk' or not. Religion is fascism for the afterlife which they cannot ever really implement so they attempt it here on Gaia. Would you propose tolerance for other kinds of fascists too? Fuck that shit.

Have some balls my free-thinking compa, and never apologize for being an atheist in a world of religious people, no more than you would for being sane in an insane asylum. We have no obligation to be nice to them considering their whole raison d'être is to send us to hell for daring to question "god's infinite love" (Hicks). Think about it...

Bill_the_Cat

Bill_the_Cat

West Vancouver, BC
May 2005

JUL 06, 2008 09:30 AM

ldhablo666 said:

gdarklighter said:

Do you even know why that filter exists? It's a clinical word, because the American Family Association thinks that gay people have a disease that can be cured.



I was going to make this very point myself. Excellent point. The term's etymology is instructive, but for reactionary twits like (abbazappa) everything only exists 'right now' and thus sans historical context. "Homosexual" is a pejorative because it was meant to describe a pathology, i.e., saying gay people are "sick".



And, of course it stands to reason that the people who created the filter had the historical context in mind when they chose to use the word and completely ignored the currently accepted definition which is disconnected from any sense of pathology.

The Christian Right might believe that faggotry is a disease that needs to be cured, but they would believe that no matter what word they chose to use. In this case they chose the word that is generally excepted by most media to be the least offensive. The word itself is entirely neutral. You're projecting meaning into it. Assuming an intent behind it's usage. That's an assumption that neither of us is equipped to make, no matter what our IQ.

Bill_the_Cat

Bill_the_Cat

West Vancouver, BC
May 2005

JUL 06, 2008 09:38 AM

ldhablo666 said:

J24U said:

ldhablo666 said:
But, maybe you're right, shit, a (recorded/documented/ i.e., provable) 150 IQ may just not spend like it used to...
love



Personally, I don't care if you've got papers signed by the entire membership of mensa that certifies you'e the smartest guy in the country, you still came into this thread acting like a dick. It's attitude like that that makes it difficult for an atheist to have a serious back and forth discussion about the nature of faith with a believer once they've been exposed to an ignorant attitude like the one you have displayed.

Of course the idea of an actual discussion may be unimportant to you. You strike me as the type who would just talk over someone with an opposing view, just so you wouldn't have to hear their side of things.

Of course I may be wildly incorrect about you, but you've given me little else to go on.

Peace.



You, sir are right on target. I am not a nice person. In fact I am as you say, "a dick". But that mullet-head accused me of being "not so bright", and as my Mensa membership may attest to (the one that doesn't impress you one bit!), he's wrong.

Further, I don't give a fuck if religious people think us atheists are 'nice, decent folk' or not. Religion is fascism for the afterlife which they cannot ever really implement so they attempt it here on Gaia. Would you propose tolerance for other kinds of fascists too? Fuck that shit.

Have some balls my free-thinking compa, and never apologize for being an atheist in a world of religious people, no more than you would for being sane in an insane asylum. We have no obligation to be nice to them considering their whole raison d'être is to send us to hell for daring to question "god's infinite love" (Hicks). Think about it...



There's a difference between being intelligent and being smart. For instance, if you were smart you would notice the irony in calling religious people facist, then saying things like this:

We have no obligation to be nice to them considering their whole raison d'être is to send us to hell for daring to question "god's infinite love" (Hicks).


There isn't much that's more facist than making a generalized statement about an entire group of people and deciding that you ought to be mean to them based on that generlization.

Bill_the_Cat

Bill_the_Cat

West Vancouver, BC
May 2005

JUL 06, 2008 09:39 AM

Also this thread is officially Godwined.

J24U

J24U

Danvers, MA
February 2006

JUL 06, 2008 09:42 AM

ldhablo666 said:
You, sir are right on target. I am not a nice person. In fact I am as you say, "a dick". But that mullet-head accused me of being "not so bright", and as my Mensa membership may attest to (the one that doesn't impress you one bit!), he's wrong.



Your IQ means very little to people; the behavior you display is everything. Given the way you came into this thread, is it really so surprising that someone took a jab at you?

ldhablo666 said:
Further, I don't give a fuck if religious people think us atheists are 'nice, decent folk' or not. Religion is fascism for the afterlife which they cannot ever really implement so they attempt it here on Gaia. Would you propose tolerance for other kinds of fascists too? Fuck that shit.



Show me where I made an argument that religious people should think us "nice". I'm talking about civil discourse between grown adults here. If you aren't willing to treat the other side with respect, why enter the conversation in the first place? And as for your fascist label; it is sad to me that the religious people I have known and befriended (including long standing members of the clergy) have been far more open-minded, accepting and non-judgemental than a great majority of the atheists I have met. The world does not have to be "us" and "them".

ldhablo666 said:
Have some balls my free-thinking compa, and never apologize for being an atheist in a world of religious people, no more than you would for being sane in an insane asylum. We have no obligation to be nice to them considering their whole raison d'être is to send us to hell for daring to question "god's infinite love" (Hicks). Think about it...



Why do you assume I would ever apologize for who I am? People can accept me, or they can move along. There doesn't have to be any animosity in the situation. And while it is true that I have no obligation to be nice to "them" whatever I have an obligation to be respectful if I in turn desire respect from them...or anyone else with some view that is opposite of mine.

mattaaaah

mattaaaah

Los Angeles, CA
May 2003

JUL 06, 2008 09:54 AM

If you're looking for civil discourse, maybe an FTR article/discussion board is not the place for you.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

JUL 06, 2008 09:57 AM

mattaaaah said:
If you're looking for civil discourse, maybe an FTR article/discussion board is not the place for you.


is too, and you're a dickwad for suggesting otherwise, sirrah!!

*hairpull*

Idhablo666 said:
We have no obligation to be nice to them considering their whole raison d'être is to send us to hell for daring to question "god's infinite love" (Hicks).


hahaha, you really are an idiot.

gingerbread

gingerbread

Portland, OR
January 2008

JUL 06, 2008 10:37 AM

yr outfit matches both your apartment and the interior of yr car. well played.

ldhablo666

ldhablo666

Aurora, CO
August 2004

JUL 06, 2008 01:04 PM

motorfirebox said:

mattaaaah said:
If you're looking for civil discourse, maybe an FTR article/discussion board is not the place for you.


is too, and you're a dickwad for suggesting otherwise, sirrah!!

*hairpull*

Idhablo666 said:
We have no obligation to be nice to them considering their whole raison d'être is to send us to hell for daring to question "god's infinite love" (Hicks).


hahaha, you really are an idiot.




right, i'm the idiot. ok, kids. whatever you say. i guess christians DON'T believe that you must accept jebus christos in order to be saved from HELL. i guess my understanding of christianity is ALL wrong despite all the biblical evidence that the 88IQ crowd around here seems to ignore with such aplomb!

lol. biggrin

fuck nice. you fags go be nice to the nazi down the street, i got more balls than that. what a bunch of fucking homos... love

ldhablo666

ldhablo666

Aurora, CO
August 2004

JUL 06, 2008 01:05 PM

mattaaaah said:
If you're looking for civil discourse, maybe an FTR article/discussion board is not the place for you.



exactly. blackeyed

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

JUL 06, 2008 01:10 PM

Idhablo666 said:
i guess christians DON'T believe that you must accept jebus christos in order to be saved from HELL.


you're an idiot because you've leapt to the ridiculous conclusion that christians want you to go to hell, that they're somehow trying to send you there. if i tell you that you're likely to get run over by a car if you cross the street without looking, that doesn't meant i'm trying to run you over. idiot.

Sydni

Sydni

SUICIDEGIRL

USA

JUL 06, 2008 01:13 PM

ldhablo666 said:

motorfirebox said:

mattaaaah said:
If you're looking for civil discourse, maybe an FTR article/discussion board is not the place for you.


is too, and you're a dickwad for suggesting otherwise, sirrah!!

*hairpull*

Idhablo666 said:
We have no obligation to be nice to them considering their whole raison d'être is to send us to hell for daring to question "god's infinite love" (Hicks).


hahaha, you really are an idiot.




right, i'm the idiot. ok, kids. whatever you say. i guess christians DON'T believe that you must accept jebus christos in order to be saved from HELL. i guess my understanding of christianity is ALL wrong despite all the biblical evidence that the 88IQ crowd around here seems to ignore with such aplomb!

lol. biggrin

fuck nice. you fags go be nice to the nazi down the street, i got more balls than that. what a bunch of fucking homos... love



You sir, have just been crowned the president of the bigot brigade around here.

Now go be quiet-and pull up your pants. Your asshole is hanging out.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

JUL 06, 2008 01:24 PM

come on, now Sydni. we all know that not hating christianity is, in essence, the same as a man having sex with another man. it's a perfectly logical comparison! we know so because the Mensatard tells us so.

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

JUL 06, 2008 01:28 PM

What, no hero award for the makers of toilet paper? Tisk. Tisk. They could have made shit out of glass slivers, or poison ivy, but they didn't: Heroes!


P.S. ldhablo666, don't try to out 'Christopher Hitchens' Christopher Hitchens; he's got angry, sodden atheist nailed down.

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