• commentary
  • THURSDAY JUNE 26 2008 6:00 AM

Here Come The Oiltards

There are a couple of reasons why gas prices are shooting through the roof. One, is obviously because oil companies get to make a shit load of money and they know our current government won’t do anything about it. Another reason is because the oil companies want to drill in places they can’t. They want access to coastal areas and parts of Alaska that are currently off limits. With skyrocketing oil prices, they believe Americans will support new Congressional laws to allow offshore drilling. It’s really an awesome win-win for the douchebag oil companies.

Sure enough, a new Rasmussen poll came out this weekend claiming “67% support offshore drilling, 64% expect it will lower prices.” If true, those people are obviously retarded. Anyone who believes allowing drilling off the coast of any state will decrease gas prices is a fucking moron. I’m going to write that one more time, just in case I was too subtle; if you believe drilling off the coast of any state will lead to a drop in prices you are an incredible retard. Got it? Super, let’s move on.

Of course, the Rasmussen poll was a complete pile of shit, because it was a push poll. Check out the second question asked.


“In order to reduce the price of gas, should drilling be allowed in offshore oil wells off the coasts of California, Florida, and other states?”


Um. Hey, Rasmussen, drilling won’t reduce the price, so why are you asking the question like that? Someone slip a check into your dirty little hands?

I’m a crazy environmentalist. I’d rather you die than an acre of land destroyed. I think you are less important. Deal with it. But this isn’t an environmental argument, it’s common sense.

First of all, offshore oil drilling only makes sense when prices are high. You know why? Turns out it’s expensive to drill in the fucking ocean.


If exploration were allowed, permits would have to be granted, and before that environmental concerns must be addressed. Drilling also would have to make economic sense: Offshore drilling is expensive, and the more remote the site, the more costly it is.


Remember the Texas oil boom of the seventies, when prices were sky high, and then they crashed and it wasn’t profitable to drill for oil anymore? Yeah, same thing. Prices will go down because this is an oil bubble, just like the stock bubble and the housing bubble.

If our oil offshore were to have an effect on gas prices, there would need to be a shitload of it out there. There is not.


Recoverable reserves off U.S. coasts in now-banned areas probably contain only about 16 billion barrels.

The U.S. consumes about 20.6 million barrels a day, about 60 percent from foreign sources.


Weeehooooooo! Let’s get that shit! We might save a whole 5 cents at the pump!

Those 16 billion barrels would give us 2.5 years worth of oil – under today’s usage. In 10 to 20 years, when we actually would begin using that oil, it would obviously be a lot less. Sound good? Yeah? Well, how about this?


The Energy Information Agency estimates that the total amount of oil in the offshore zone in question is about 16 billion barrels. If we assume that it would take about ten years from the day of authorization to get to peak production and that most of the oil is pumped out over 30 years, this would translate into a bit over 1 million barrels of oil a day.

That would be equal to about 1 percent of world production in a decade. If we assume a long-run demand elasticity of 0.3, this would imply a drop in world prices of approximately 3 percent. In today’s prices, we would be looking at a drop in the price of a barrel of oil from around $135 to $131. If this were passed on one to one in gas prices, we might expect to see a drop in the price of a gallon of gas from around $4.00 to around $3.92 a gallon.


The Energy Industry Administration believes allowing drilling off the coast won’t offset prices at the pump until 2030. How fucking awesome is that? Of course, I’ve learned not to believe any government agency that exists under Bush, so it’s probably more like 2040. There are quite a few problems involved in getting oil right now.

Just having the oil doesn’t mean you can get the oil. Turns out we’ve got a ship problem. A shortage of ships used for deep-water offshore drilling promises to impede any rapid turnaround in oil exploration and supply.


In recent years, this global shortage of drill-ships has created a critical bottleneck, frustrating energy company executives and constraining their ability to exploit known reserves or find new ones.


But the oil companies don’t care about that because they don’t want to open up the offshore areas for drilling now, they want it for the future. If they wanted to drill for oil now to alleviate our gas problem, they could drill in areas where they already have access. And they have plenty of land to drill in.


Oil companies and many lawmakers are pressing to open up more U.S. areas for drilling. But the industry is drilling on just a fraction of areas it already has access to.

Of the 90 million offshore acres the industry has leases to, mostly in the Gulf of Mexico, it is estimated that upwards of 70 million are not producing oil.


Nice. And it won’t stop them from getting Americans riled up to drill offshore.


Oil companies "should finish what's on their plate before they go back in line," said Oppenheimer analyst Fadel Gheit.

With prices at $135 dollars a barrel, everyone is trying to pump as much as they can, he said. But fearing oil prices will eventually fall, the industry is leery about making too many investments in the fields it has - many of which are in deepwater areas that can be pricey to develop.

Instead, they're holding out, hoping the government will open areas closer to shore that would be cheaper to work on.


Right. See, the oil companies aren’t making enough profit to go after the oil where it would be more expensive to get, in the places they already have access to, they want it easy and close to home. And the right wing is attempting to use the current crisis – created by Bush de-regulation – to get their hands on the coasts.

Maybe if Exxon would actually pay damages owed from the Valdez spill, they might be allowed to lease new land. But 20 years after the spill, Exxon seems to finally have won their battle in the courts this week - destroying the lives of many, many people. Lesson learned. The oil companies can go fuck themselves. If they wanted to get at our coasts, they wouldn't have fought that lawsuit all the way to the Supreme Court.

Most importantly, opening up new areas for drilling is backward thinking. The time has come to move away from gas. Some countries are moving quickly to alleviate the energy problem.


The Japanese government will introduce tax credits and subsidies to encourage household use of solar energy starting next year. The details will be determined in August when the budget is created. The incentive will decrease the cost of a solar photovoltaic system by an estimated 50% within 3 to 5 years.


What a bunch of dicks. We didn’t kill them all and then re-plant, just to have them turn their backs on our oil companies. Or course, here in the US, we are dragging our feet.


Unfazed by pressure from Democrats and the business community, Republicans for the second time in a week prevented the Senate from taking up a tax bill providing more than $50 billion in renewable energy credits and tax breaks for families and businesses.


Take your time, kids. While they are at it, the right wing is lying through their assholes. Check out Chris Wallace on Fox this weekend – and be sure to stick around to the end for the name of the segment’s sponsor.

Wallace lied, plain and simple. Katrina did extensive damage to oil platforms and refineries. Here are some pretty pictures of the oil spills from space. The right wing is shameless. Either that or Chris Wallace is a lying douchbag. Wait! Maybe it’s both!


Hurricane Katrina's floodwaters unleashed 1 million gallons of oil from one of the massive storage tanks at Murphy Oil's nearby refinery. The spill spread over 1 square mile and stained 1,700 homes, making it one of the largest environmental spills to occur in the aftermath of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita.


And it was far from the only one.


A Houston Chronicle review of data from the National Response Center shows that the two storms caused at least 595 spills, incidents that released untold amounts of oil, natural gas and other chemicals into the air, onto land and into the water.


And they think we should open up areas off Florida to drilling? Really? I have a question: Do hurricanes ever not hit Florida?

Anyone who thinks that opening up these areas to drilling will lead to a big drop in prices is a simplistic monkey. It will make no difference. This plan is only for the oil companies and the play is being made now because Bush is leaving office, with a high chance of a Democrat taking over.


The only real beneficiaries will be the oil companies that are trying to lock up every last acre of public land before their friends in power — Mr. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney — exit the political stage.


And if you’re wondering how much oil is in ANWR– it’s half of the estimated 16 billion barrels offshore, which makes ANWR even more ridiculous an argument to make. If we did allow companies to drill in all these locations, the total estimated saving is….$2.25 per barrel. That’s 6 cents a gallon, or as it is known by non-retards, horseshit.

I completely get why the oil companies make this type of push. It’s what companies do. And Republicans solely serve the interests of big business, so they are also acting as they should. But the everyday idiot on the street spouting this as a solution is a fucking tool. So, next time you hear some right wing moron tell you we need to open up our coastlines and environmentally sensitive areas of Alaska, tell them to go fuck themselves. And kindly explain that they are retarded.

 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Next

Comments
BellyJack

BellyJack

I'm lost
May 2005

JUN 27, 2008 10:43 PM

Crude oil, and related natural products (asphaltum, etc.) have been known to man for millennia.

We started aggressive exploitation of this resource in 1859 when Edwin Drake drilled for oil in Titusville, PA.

While there is some disagreement on exact numbers (pessimistic estimates are that we've already reached
peak oil - the peak of the availability curve - while optimistic projections place peak oil into 2030 or so) the point is its coming.

Make no mistake, we need to start doing something else for energy, and the sooner the better.

Now that we know this is coming I personally find it ludicrous we are still arguing about exploiting the remainder of it to maintain the unmaintainable, and spew this ancient juice's carbon into the atmosphere where it appears to be causing a whole other set of woes.

Are we that dead set on re-enacting the Easter Islander's playbook on a global scale?

Stiles

Stiles

Oakland, CA
November 2002

JUN 28, 2008 09:08 AM

SergeantPsycho said:

There are a lot worse jobs than that. Like working in a Chinese coal mine for example. Besides, they might have to raise the price for those products, at which point we'll be having a thread (started by FTR of course) about how LED manufactures are evil greedy corporate types out ot gouge poor people by raising prices.



That is some sorry-ass reasoning you have there.

Saying quadruple amputees have it worse than triple amputees does not make it OK to cut off people's limbs.

stockula

stockula

Anchorage, AK
May 2003

JUN 28, 2008 10:47 AM

I don't see any solutions in FTR's post. Just a lot of unsupported assertions and profanity. What are we supposed to do? Lie catatonic as the price of energy soars?

Brazil seems to not have any compunctions about drilling offshore and in the heart of the Amazon rainforest despite it being so expensive and does nothing to reduce the price of gas. It makes no economic sense according to FTR, and yet they are doing it. So who is the stupid one: Brazil or FTR and the American environmentalists?

cpkz

cpkz

Portland, OR
September 2006

JUN 28, 2008 11:36 AM

stockula said:
I don't see any solutions in FTR's post. Just a lot of unsupported assertions and profanity. What are we supposed to do? Lie catatonic as the price of energy soars?

Brazil seems to not have any compunctions about drilling offshore and in the heart of the Amazon rainforest despite it being so expensive and does nothing to reduce the price of gas. It makes no economic sense according to FTR, and yet they are doing it. So who is the stupid one: Brazil or FTR and the American environmentalists?



FTR's solution: less dependency on oil. Something we've been saying for ages.

As far as the comment "unsupported assertions," you want to link some factoids about your Brazil BS?

mingol

mingol

Singapore
July 2005

JUN 28, 2008 11:53 AM

cpkz said:

stockula said:
I don't see any solutions in FTR's post. Just a lot of unsupported assertions and profanity. What are we supposed to do? Lie catatonic as the price of energy soars?


FTR's solution: less dependency on oil.


Seriously.

With demand for fossil fuels growing to accomodate the needs of 1.3 billion Chinese, 1.1 billion Indians, and hundreds of millions of people in other rapidly developing countries, I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for oil prices to come back down.

stockula

stockula

Anchorage, AK
May 2003

JUN 28, 2008 11:55 AM

cpkz said:

stockula said:
I don't see any solutions in FTR's post. Just a lot of unsupported assertions and profanity. What are we supposed to do? Lie catatonic as the price of energy soars?

Brazil seems to not have any compunctions about drilling offshore and in the heart of the Amazon rainforest despite it being so expensive and does nothing to reduce the price of gas. It makes no economic sense according to FTR, and yet they are doing it. So who is the stupid one: Brazil or FTR and the American environmentalists?



FTR's solution: less dependency on oil. Something we've been saying for ages.

As far as the comment "unsupported assertions," you want to link some factoids about your Brazil BS?



There are no realistic substitutes for hydrocarbons. Nothing comes close to the amount of energy they have. The only way to meet our energy needs is to develop as many deposits as we can find and bring them to market.

Brazil knows this, and is doing this.

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/11/08/business/LA-FIN-Brazil-Petrobras.php

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601086&sid=aoVn_C9BuMGM&refer=latin_america

http://www.theworld.org/?q=node/18989

cpkz

cpkz

Portland, OR
September 2006

JUN 28, 2008 12:28 PM

stockula said:
Brazil knows this, and is doing this.



You do know there is a pretty big difference between America and Brazil?
America consumes 60% of the world's oil, or something obscene like that. Brazil does not.
America is already a massive economic power. Brazil is not.

If Oil Companies were to be given access to even more areas to drill (which again, they have access to plenty which they just refuse to get into), it would do nothing for the American consumer for years, and minimal assistance to our economy. Our problem is our consumption rate.

Brazil on the other hand, will get help. Its population will see a benefit from this alongside the nation.

stockula

stockula

Anchorage, AK
May 2003

JUN 28, 2008 01:19 PM

cpkz said:

stockula said:
Brazil knows this, and is doing this.



You do know there is a pretty big difference between America and Brazil?
America consumes 60% of the world's oil, or something obscene like that. Brazil does not.
America is already a massive economic power. Brazil is not.

If Oil Companies were to be given access to even more areas to drill (which again, they have access to plenty which they just refuse to get into)



They're not drilling because environmentalists file lawsuits and injunctions to stop them. They demand lengthy environmental impact studies before drilling, all while paying to simply hold the lease. The Brazilians, Russians, everyone else are not hamstrung in such a way.

If those regulations and obstructions were waived, you can be sure oil companies would develop the leases they have. If you don't believe me, let's do so and see what happens.

The reason for America's dependence on imported oil can be laid at the feet of the Left, the environmentalists, and the Democrats. They have insisted and demanded restrictions on domestic energy development since the 80's, and now we find ourselves in the present situation. Instead of reversing this mistake, they insist we abide by it.

The size of our demand is irrelevant. We have more demand, so any increase in supply should be dismissed? Yet they call for increased production of energy generated from solar, wind, and biofuels that contribute even less to our supply and cost more than hydrocarbons, while starving the poor and killing birds. But this is all ok, because at least it's not oil companies doing it?

Chainlink

Chainlink

Key West, FL
August 2005

JUN 28, 2008 01:55 PM

stockula said:
I don't see any solutions in FTR's post. Just a lot of unsupported assertions and profanity. What are we supposed to do? Lie catatonic as the price of energy soars?

Brazil seems to not have any compunctions about drilling offshore and in the heart of the Amazon rainforest despite it being so expensive and does nothing to reduce the price of gas. It makes no economic sense according to FTR, and yet they are doing it. So who is the stupid one: Brazil or FTR and the American environmentalists?



Bah ha ha ! And the Brazilian economy is doing soO good thanks to that.

Great point !

surreal whatever

mingol

mingol

Singapore
July 2005

JUN 28, 2008 02:31 PM

stockula said:
The size of our demand is irrelevant.


Remarks like this one are the reason people all around the globe just love Americans.

velvet_petal

velvet_petal

I'm lost
November 2006

JUN 28, 2008 02:35 PM

There really are no easy answers. Even if the companies have leases and know there's oil, 1 in 4 times they try to drill they come up dry for whatever reason, losing millions in the process. Hopefully 4D seismic technologies will help reduce some of that, but nothing is going to change quickly. Even if companies were allowed to drill tomorrow here, the rigs and jack ups and other equipment are booked out for years to come.

It is pretty amazing to look at Brazil. With it's tropical rainforests and swampy lands allowing it the sort of sugarcane production to become so energy independent with their ethanol production. It is admirable.

Here, I guess there's not only the difficulty in producing enough sugarcane to make a dent fast enough, but also the fact that farmers here are not very incentivized with some of the governmental subsidies they receive to produce as well. From what I understand sugar is something like 7x more efficient in the production of ethanol and much cleaner than corn, which has shown itself to be so much more expensive and require a heck of a lot of gas in the process. So, at the moment it is neither clean nor cost effective to use corn.

Take all of this and add the demand in the emerging markets, and the speculators on Wall Street and elsewhere and it will be hard to suppress the rise in prices. It is frustrating, but get used to it. A lot is being spent to research alternative fuels, but no breakthrough will happen quickly.

Even the price of corn is going up. Eventhough it is a different kind of corn used to make ethanol, than the kind we eat, it still has led to the rise in corn based foods and tortilla prices. This has lead to increased hunger problems in places like Mexico and elsewhere. Arrggghhh! An unintended consequence, I'm sure. It would be nice if there were a fast fix.

stockula

stockula

Anchorage, AK
May 2003

JUN 28, 2008 02:49 PM

mingol said:

stockula said:
The size of our demand is irrelevant.


Remarks like this one are the reason people all around the globe just love Americans.



So...we should seek approval ahead of our own interests and our citizens' well-being and prosperity? Does any other country do that? No. Why then should America?

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

JUN 28, 2008 02:52 PM

stockula said:
The size of our demand is irrelevant. We have more demand, so any increase in supply should be dismissed? Yet they call for increased production of energy generated from solar, wind, and biofuels that contribute even less to our supply and cost more than hydrocarbons, while starving the poor and killing birds. But this is all ok, because at least it's not oil companies doing it?



motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

JUN 28, 2008 03:32 PM

stockula said:
There are no realistic substitutes for hydrocarbons. Nothing comes close to the amount of energy they have.


this will remain true only as long as we don't conduct serious research for alternatives. there are already several promising technologies being refined as a result of the current crunch. i personally remain optimistic about India's foray into beaming converted solar power down to earth via microwave transmission.

velvet_petal

velvet_petal

I'm lost
November 2006

JUN 28, 2008 03:50 PM

motorfirebox said:

stockula said:
There are no realistic substitutes for hydrocarbons. Nothing comes close to the amount of energy they have.


this will remain true only as long as we don't conduct serious research for alternatives. there are already several promising technologies being refined as a result of the current crunch. i personally remain optimistic about India's foray into beaming converted solar power down to earth via microwave transmission.



I remain hopeful too. None of it will happen overnight, but it is there. The high prices are not a blessing, but they certainly provide the incentive to step up the pace of research and for each of us to make small changes in our own lives too.

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Next