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McCain: An Amazing Douche

TUESDAY JUNE 10 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: John McCain, GI Bill

John McCain is an insanely rich man. Johnny and his wife own eight houses. That�s pretty sweet. How many houses do you own? The wife is an heiress to the third largest Budweiser distributor in America. The company is worth $300 million, which makes Cindy McCain worth a sweet $100 million.

As heiress to her father's stake in Hensley & Co. of Phoenix, Cindy McCain is an executive whose worth may exceed $100 million. Her beer earnings have afforded the GOP presidential nominee a wealthy lifestyle with a private jet and vacation homes at his disposal, and her connections helped him launch his political career � even if the millions remain in her name alone.

Wow. A private jet. That�s some serious common-man shit right there. And just like most guys, the family owns a piece of a major league baseball team.

Cindy and her children own a minority stake in the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Groovy. I�ve bought a few baseball tickets, so we�ve got quite a bit in common. Oh, and Johnny likes to entertain the press at his modest estate.

John McCain held a barbecue recently for reporters at a two-story cabin near Sedona, Ariz., that sits on 15 acres owned by his wife's family trust and a real estate partnership in her name. The property includes four single-family homes and is worth nearly $1.8 million.

Of course, the majority of this information was released with Grandpa�s tax return information to the press. John apparently lives on a paltry salary.

McCain's Senate salary and book royalties amounted to $215,304 in 2006 and $258,800 in 2007. In 2006, the senator paid $72,771 in federal taxes and $84,460 in 2007.

They probably use his salary to tip the staff.

Now, you�re probably wondering why I�m bringing up the incredible wealth of Mr. and Mrs. McCain. It�s no crime to be rich, even if you keep calling your opponent an �Elitist.� Well, what about a guy whose family is worth over $100 million who is taking yearly Navy benefits of $58,358?

That�s how much McCain took in last year for injuries incurred as a Vietnam POW. He sort of forgot to list it in the tax return he released to the media, but that�s probably because the benefits not taxed. How sweet is that? Fifty-eight thousand tax free. Might actually mean something if he wasn�t a crazy rich millionaire.

On Monday, McCain's staff identified the retirement benefit as a "disability pension" and said that McCain "was retired as disabled because of his limited body movements due to injuries as a POW."

His body is so �limited� that he hiked the Grand Canyon in 2006. Actually, his staff described him as �technically disabled," the poor bastard. Actually, McCain did experience some horrible injuries. When his plane went down, he had a broken leg and two broken arms. The Vietnamese then hung him from his broken leg for a while, which is totally not cool. Maybe that was why Johnny sung like a bird when he was in captivity � after a whole 13 days.

McCain was shot down on October 26th, 1967. By November 9th, he was giving interviews to foreign correspondents, providing information on his prior command, casualties and tactics, which is kind of in direct violation of the Military Code of Conduct. But, hey, he was tortured. He spent 5 � years as a POW. I�m sure some of you are saying the guy deserves the cash.

He would, if he wasn�t a hypocritical douche. See, Senators Jim Webb and Chuck Hagel wrote a new GI bill last year that would increase troop college education benefits. Considering how royally we are fucking over our troops, it�s pretty much a no brainer to increase their education benefits.

Well, not for �58K A Year McCain.� Even though Webb practically begged him to support the bill, McCain opposed it.

Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, seemed to give a thumbs down to bipartisan legislation that would greatly expand educational benefits for members of the military returning from Iraq and Afghanistan under the GI Bill.

McCain�s opposition comes a day after petitions from 30,000 veterans arrived at McCain�s Senate office, urging him to support the modernized bill to offer veterans a college education.

Nice. He didn�t even bother to show up for the vote. See, he knows what it is like to be a soldier. Like most soldiers, he returned home, divorced his model wife because she had become fat and married a multi-millionaire. Now he collects a sweet 58 thousand a year while opposing a needed increase in education benefits.

So, why does McCain oppose the bill? It�s actually the most disgusting reason you could think up.

I want to make sure that we have incentives for people to remain in the military as well as for people to join the military.

John doesn�t want to give soldiers incentive to leave the military. The Pentagon is opposed to the bill � and Bush will veto it � because�

Officials in charge of Pentagon personnel worry that a more generous and expansive GI Bill would create an incentive for troops to get out of the military and go to college.

Oh, the horror. We can�t have that, now can we? So, every time you look at McCain, think about how that millionaire is taking in $58,000 a year, tax free, while opposing an increase in education benefits for our soldiers, because it will keep them stuck in the military.

McCain is a class A cunt.

150 Comments

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... 10

LostLucy

USA

December 2006

JUN 10, 2008 06:13 AM

FearTheReaper said:

McCain is a class A cunt.

+1

And that is the clinical diagnostic term.

Mr_Matt_

Hollywood, FL

July 2005

JUN 10, 2008 07:00 AM

I am a plank owner (part of the original crew) of the USS John S. McCain (DDG-56), a U.S. Navy guided missile destroyer.

I am proud to have served (with a touch of sarcasm) on this mighty warship, named after the Senator's grandfather and father, both Navy Admirals.

I wonder if they would approve of him now.

ChrisSick

Philadelphia, PA

March 2008

JUN 10, 2008 07:04 AM

McCain's whole argument against the new GI Bill is pretty weak sister, better yet was the exchange of statements between his camp in and Obama's over the Memorial Day weekend.

"And I will not accept from Senator Obama, who did not feel it was his responsibility to serve our country in uniform, any lectures on my regard for those who did," the Arizona senator said in a harshly worded statement issued Thursday.

At a time when veterans are returning from a dangerous warzone, to find their college benefits barely cover half their tuition costs at the local community college, there's nothing like seeing a Senator turn the conversation into a dick measuring contest and stating that their position is beyond reproach because they served and you didn't.

It's vaguely amusing that part of John McCain's plan for cutting the cost of Medicaid includes asking those above a certain wealth to not collect Medicaid benefits since they could afford healthcare out of pocket... but he needs sixty grand a year tax free despite his wife's private jet?

It's so hard to be mean about John McCain, he was a Veteran, a POW, tortured, went through some horrific shit. But then he makes it so hard to be nice, too.

Sting

SUICIDEGIRL

New York, USA

JUN 10, 2008 08:53 AM

I had read about his reasons for opposing the bill in The Wall Street Journal and I remain repulsed. I wish Mr Webster would change the definition of Politician to soulless lying malignant narcissist in his dictionary.

FellOnEarth

Temecula, CA

April 2006

JUN 10, 2008 09:22 AM

Sting said:
I had read about his reasons for opposing the bill in The Wall Street Journal and I remain repulsed. I wish Mr Webster would change the definition of Politician to hypocritical soulless lying malignant narcissist in his dictionary.

Fixed.

pagnaet

Amarillo, TX

March 2005

JUN 10, 2008 09:28 AM

This makes me want to split the skull of every McCain supporter. Its generally true that these same people support Bush, making it that much easier to hate them. The current GI Bill is a fucking joke. Besides being inadequate for todays tuition, its very easy for them(Govt) to fuck you out of it. Let me explain.

The military is crazy about retention, people that re-up, and they offer crazy bonuses for those that do. In order to keep the GI Bill when you get out, you have to have served 20mos out of a 30mo enlistment(cant find actual numbers right now). So, lets say, you sign up for 3yrs active, and you only serve 18mos before re-enlisting, you effectively lose your education benefits. Ethically, they should tell you and keep you from doing so, but their need for retention numbers far out weighs your right to an education. Im sure they figure you lost the GI BIll, maybe itll break your soul and keep you in for life.

xo_b_mac

Markham, ON

June 2007

JUN 10, 2008 09:30 AM

Your country is FUCKED

rudeboy71

Chicago, IL

December 2004

JUN 10, 2008 09:52 AM

If you watched the Daily show. McCain read from a report citing that the military would lose 16 percent retention because of this new bill. He used this a s a reason to not sign on to the bill. In the same report the military would gain 16 percent new recruits because of the new GI bill. So basically he's a duoche bag who cherry picks whatever he likes from the same reports. Kida like Bush did when they looked for a reason to go to war.

coyotemike

Kearney, NE

May 2006

JUN 10, 2008 10:14 AM

I just keep wondering, how can McCain be the best the GOP could put up? Or did they just give him the nomination because they know they're going to lose and it's sort of a last gift for him before he exits public office.

AntiChristPunk

East Brunswick, NJ

August 2007

JUN 10, 2008 10:21 AM

I Already wouldnt vote McCain even if his rich wife personaly paid me. But i heard about this and was just disgusted with everyone who opposed it. How can we as a country ask our citizens to serve in a war we shouldnt be in and then want to screw them out of vetrans benefits. What we are doing to the military is bad enough. They should be hooked up with the best when they come home.

Tallboy66

USA

January 2005

JUN 10, 2008 10:22 AM

Saw a picture in the paper of O'Bama riding his bike with kid in tow around, I assume Chicagoland.

Hopefully not along LSD where the tourists ask the most stupid questions like asking ME, technicaly a tourist, what that big body of water is.

bean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

JUN 10, 2008 10:25 AM

Tallboy66 said:
O'Bama

Wait, he's Irish?!?!?

Azadeth

Fairport, NY

August 2006

JUN 10, 2008 10:28 AM

Jon Stewart was talking to the writer of the aforementioned military bill last night, and he also expressed shock that McCain wouldn't support it. "It's almost like instead of making things BETTER for our troops, they're just trying to make coming home crappier," he said. It earned a big laugh, but it sounds accurate to me.