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Some kids went through hell at Camp Crystal Lake in the summer of 1979. By “hell,” I mean a crazy person named Pamela Sue Voorhees murdered them. Pamela was still smarting from the death of her son, Jason, in 1957. The kid supposedly drowned in the lake while the camp counselors were having a cabin party, enjoying pot, alcohol and each other’s genitals. Pamela then murdered a couple of the counselors and the place was shut down.

For years, she lived near the camp, watching to make sure it would never open again. See, Pamela was trying to save any innocent children from meeting the same death as her precious Jason. (He was a lunatic, by the way.) In 1979, when it appeared the camp would open again, Pamela killed seven people. She did this to save others. It’s what good people do. But eventually, Alice Hardy cut her head off with a machete. As far as the Democratic Primary is concerned, Hillary has been trying to save Democrats from the doom of nominating Obama. Thankfully, we have finally reached the point where Hillary Clinton meets her demise on the lake beach. All horrible monsters meet their doom, just ask Ghidorah.

It’s been obvious, for months, to anything with a brain in its head (including rabbits) that Hillary was finished. She lost the race some time ago, but decided to continue on in a Voorhees charge for the nomination. Now signals are coming from her campaign that the end is nigh. On Sunday night, after a small island a couple hundred miles from Florida, which is not allowed to vote in the general election and is not even a state, voted, the two candidates exchanged a phone call. Nobody knows what was said. The Obama camp claims he called to congratulate her. Right. He called to congratulate her on Puerto Rico after over 45 primary elections without a call exchanged. Uh huh.

Now, a phone call from an opponent is not much. Trust me, I’ve gotten quite a few in my life that don’t mean shit. (I'm looking at you, Ron Jeremy.) But there are other signs, like a fateful email went out on Monday night to all Clinton advance staffers.


There are strong signs the Clinton campaign may be preparing for the end.

Late last night an email went out to advance staffers -- the folks who usually prepare sites for future Clinton campaign events. The memo indicated that there was nothing on Sen. Hillary Clinton's schedule beyond a speech scheduled for the AIPAC conference on Wed morning in Washington.

The email told staffers this was not goodbye but there were no plans and therefore no locations where their services would be needed for now.


Certainly one could say there are no more primaries, so why would she plan any events? But anyone who would say that is a dipshit. If Hillary were to continue on, she would need to make her case day after day, hour after hour, until the convention. It appears she has no plan to do so. Good.

Oh, and Hillary has asked her staffers to get the books in order.


Clinton Campaign staffers and former campaign staffers are being urged by the Clinton campaign's finance department to turn in their outstanding expense receipts by the end of the week. That's a sign, to them, that the campaign wants to get its affairs in order soon. If Clinton were staying in the race, there'd be no real reason to collect these receipts now; she'd still be raising and spending money from the same primary campaign account. The campaign is in arrears to the tune of about $11 million.


That’s what you do when you’re wrapping it up. Next, Bill Clinton also made an interesting statement yesterday in South Dakota.


I want to say also that this may be the last day I'm ever involved in a campaign of this kind. I thought I was out of politics, 'til Hillary decided to run. But it has been, one of the greatest honors of my life to go around and campaign for her for president.


That’s a “good bye” speech. Thanks for ruining your legacy, Bill, and don’t let anything smash your asshole on the way out, or whatever that cliché is. Go back to your life on the "Fuck Jet."

Hillary has also planned an event for Tuesday night in New York. It will be the first night since the primary began that she has not held an event in a state that is voting, or will be voting. Invitations have been sent out to staffers to come to New York.


They can use a plane ticket to fly to NY for a party on Tuesday night where Clinton will address supporters.


All of her top donors and fundraisers have also been invited to the event, yet her campaign continues to say it’s just a final primary party. Too bad all the donors aren't on board with that explanation.


"This has never happened before," one donor said, referring to the personalized request by email to attend the event in New York Tuesday night.


Of course Hillary and her people continue to state that they are going to fight on until there is a nominee, just as Pamela Voorhees probably would have said she was going to keep killing – until her head was removed from her body. If Hillary doesn’t pull out on her own, the Democratic Party is sharpening the machete.


The remaining Democratic senators who have yet to pick a side in the party's presidential nomination fight will meet this afternoon at the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee's headquarters on Capitol Hill to plot strategy for the coming days, according to Democratic sources.


And her big political peeps are telling her to take a walk. One of her campaign’s national co-chairs, former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack, laid it out.


It does appear to be pretty clear that Senator Obama is going to be the nominee. After Tuesday's contests, she needs to acknowledge that he's going to be the nominee and quickly get behind him.


And superdelegates are coming out and telling Lady Voorhees to back her shit down.


"It would be most beneficial if we resolved this nomination sooner rather than later," said U.S. Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz of Florida, a high-profile superdelegate who backs Clinton. "The more time we have to get through a general-election period and the more time we have to prepare in advance of the convention, the better."


"She'll do the right thing for America, and I don't think we're going to fight this at the convention," said Pennsylvania Gov. Edward G. Rendell, a top Clinton supporter and party superdelegate, speaking on CBS. "Because even were we to win it, unless it's going to change enough delegates for Sen. Clinton to get the nomination, then it would be a fight that would have no purpose."


Alice Huffman, a member of the rules panel and a superdelegate committed to Clinton, said she would not support an appeal if Obama had clearly won the delegate fight.

"What's the point for a challenge, if a challenge doesn't change the status of anything?" asked Huffman.


Hillary may not bail on Tuesday night, but she will be gone by the end of the week. Her last chance to grab the nomination was dashed when the Democratic Party decided this weekend to give Obama more than zero Michigan delegates. Everyone knows it’s over now. That’s why her supporters are losing their fucking minds.



The most telling piece of information came yesterday morning on a conference call with the Clinton campaign and her top fundraisers.


Clinton strategist Harold Ickes spoke in very conciliatory terms about Obama, in contrast to his tougher rhetoric in public and on television, according to sources. He told the participants that Clinton wants to "significantly" help Obama, but he did not go so far as saying that she will announce withdrawal -- that is the prerogative of the candidate.

Ickes told the group to "take a deep breath" and let Clinton proceed in her own fashion.


Um. Done that.

If you live in California, go vote today. No on 98. It's very important. Very, very important. - FTR

 

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LostLucy

LostLucy

USA
December 2006

JUN 03, 2008 06:44 AM

And now Ickes is bitterly saying "We are telling our people to stand down"

ANd we are all dancing in the streets of Hyde Park with OBAMA t shirts and pins!!!! tongue

LostLucy

LostLucy

USA
December 2006

JUN 03, 2008 09:38 AM

WAKE UP people!! History is happening!!

SnowgodCCR

SnowgodCCR

Derry, NH
November 2006

JUN 03, 2008 09:45 AM

WTKK Talk radio has been calling people like Harriet Christian "Marauding Women" because they're absolutley insane and would rather vote for someone who shares little to none of their principals (or not?) than the person who shares them. It's almost like the only reason they were going to vote democratic was because Hillary is a woman. eeek *gasp* who'd have thought it?

silversoul7

silversoul7

Portland, OR
January 2008

JUN 03, 2008 09:59 AM

Didn't Hillary once make some remark about not being bitter?

lavenir

lavenir

Turlock, CA
June 2007

JUN 03, 2008 10:02 AM

So, wait, her staff is now saying that she's doing do what's best for the nation? I wonder what they would call what she was doing before this.

I forgot that Mothra was in the King Ghidora flick. For some reason, I thought it was Godzilla, Rodan, and that turtle-ish monster (and I know that it's not Gamera--I know my giant movie monsters fairly well) kicked Ghidora's ass. If Obama is Godzilla, I wonder who's Mothra and who is Rodan? I need to watch some Godzilla some time.

What strikes me as completely ridiculous is that people put that much stock in the office of the President. I mean, sure, we've had nearly 8 years experience of what a bad President can do, but I just don't see H. Clinton and Obama being so qualitatively different that one needs to be all that pissed off about one winning the nomination over another. I grow tired of the arguments that draw solely upon Hillary's sex and Obama's skin color. Either way, I think that breaking the white male streak we have in the office of President is probably good either way, even if the nominee is not perhaps the most competent politician. I voted for Obama in the primary here in CA, and I'll vote for him in the general election, but I don't expect him to be a savior. I just think he'll make a better president than McCain and actually has a chance of beating the guy.

Those people who are voting against Obama would probably be better served by voting for a third-party candidate in order to express their objections. That solution would result, I think, in far less destruction than allowing McCain to win the office. I mean, that's the equivalent of saying, "Since you don't agree with me, I'm going to stab you in the eye and beat up your family." It's just fucking sociopathic.

MisterEnrolled

MisterEnrolled

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JUN 03, 2008 10:18 AM

LostLucy said:
WAKE UP people!! History is happening!!



I've grown weary of living history. oink

lucidtrips

lucidtrips

I'm lost
March 2007

JUN 03, 2008 10:29 AM

Damm you now I have an urge to go rent Friday the 13th parts 1 to 10

Mr_Matt_

Mr_Matt_

Hollywood, FL
July 2005

JUN 03, 2008 10:35 AM

I'd like to do shots all night with Harriet Christian. Tequila, Jack, Jaeger, fru-fru sweet mixed shots, you name it.

livertarian

livertarian

Fairfax, VA
February 2008

JUN 03, 2008 11:01 AM

LostLucy said:
WAKE UP people!! History is happening!!



I don't want to burst bubbles, but how is this different from '92 with Slick Willie?

Great analysis, FTR.

EDIT: Today Associated Press ran, then quickly retracted, a story that Hillary would concede tonight. The campaign is trying to milk the press as long as possible. Ridiculous.

brandxofttl

brandxofttl

Scranton, PA
March 2007

JUN 03, 2008 11:09 AM

The whole Harriet Christian thing is hilarious. If she is not a racist, as she has claimed, then why did she go out of her way to call him an inadequate BLACK man? If this was truly about sexism and ONLY sexism, she would have just called him a man. To vote for McCain out of spite shows just how little she cares about the REAL issues. If she was truly a Democrat who was not happy with the way the country has been run over the last few years, she wouldn't even consider McCain, who called his own wife a cunt in front of reporters. He's obviously a great supporter of women. At least Obama stood up for his wife when she was attacked by the media unfairly.

JekyllAndHyde

JekyllAndHyde

Nottingham, MD
April 2005

JUN 03, 2008 11:20 AM

"A Voorhees charge." I need to use that in a sentence sometime.

Why do these Hillary supporters talk about their votes not counting? They do count. So do Obama's. And he got more of them.

I think a lot of adults in this country have been kidnapped and replaced with pod people who have the logical capacities and maturity of 8th graders.

mydogfarted

mydogfarted

Waldwick, NJ
June 2003

JUN 03, 2008 11:25 AM

livertarian said:

LostLucy said:
WAKE UP people!! History is happening!!



I don't want to burst bubbles, but how is this different from '92 with Slick Willie?



How? Gee, I dunno... first black presidential candidate? While I don't actually see it happening, Obama/Clinton for Pres/VP would be the greatest political and civil rights statement this country has ever made. It wasn't all that long ago that women and black people were considered less than white males, and they both have just nearly achieved the most powerful position in the U.S.A.

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

Kearney, NE
May 2006

JUN 03, 2008 11:25 AM

LostLucy said:
WAKE UP people!! History is happening!!



It is so damn wearying, and so many of us just want her to quietly go away so we can regain some dignity.

That being said, I have a bottle of champagne in my refrigerator, just waiting for a final announcement saying she is done . . . whenever that takes place.

Colinism

Colinism

Atlanta, GA
July 2005

JUN 03, 2008 11:36 AM

coyotemike said:

LostLucy said:
WAKE UP people!! History is happening!!



It is so damn wearying, and so many of us just want her to quietly go away so we can regain some dignity.

That being said, I have a bottle of champagne in my refrigerator, just waiting for a final announcement saying she is done . . . whenever that takes place.



2017 I would assume as they lower her casket into the ground after having driven a stake through her heart and filling the casket with holy water.

Nolan_Void

Nolan_Void

Salisbury, NC
July 2004

JUN 03, 2008 11:43 AM

The more that crazy white lady gets shown, the better it is for Obama. She's a loon, and almost undoubtedly in the minority. Loony people seem to dislike being face with their own insanity, and I hope that seeing that nut will make other people feeling similarly butt-hurt cringe.

Also, is anybody else psyched that Dick Cheney is trying to piss away West Virginia for John McCain?

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