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Asshole Fuckface Roundup #47

SATURDAY MAY 24 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: Hillary Clinton, John Hagee, Michael Savage

Merry Asshole Fuckface Day. This is the day during which righteous people such as yourself can laugh at and mock the miserable fucks that inhabit our sweet Earth. That’s where I come in. I drag the hideous beasts from their caves and into the light of day, for all to see. It’s not an easy job. Sometimes I sit in a corner and weep for 17 hours straight. Other times I angrily masturbate, while crying tears for the children. So goes the life of an Asshole Fuckface exposer. It’s what my father did and his father before him. It’s the life we Reapers have chosen and we do it with pride. So, go grab your umbrella and cover yourself in thick grease, because this is going to be ugly.

First up, some Asshole Fuckface lady keeps saying stupid shit.



Oh, fuck. Can you please stop saying the dumbest shit ever? Or how about if you just refrain from bringing up the assassination of Ted Kennedy’s brother the week he was diagnosed with a horrible brain tumor?

There are only two options with this little verbal gem. Either she thinks she should stick in the race because Obama might be assassinated pretty soon, or she thinks the assassination of Robert Kennedy is a great comparison to her campaign. Either way, she’s an Asshole Fuckface. Maybe later she can go pee on Ted's skull.

Oh, and she’s made this comment before.


TIME: Can you envision a point at which--if the race stays this close--Democratic Party elders would step in and say, "This is now hurting the party and whoever will be the nominee in the fall"?

CLINTON: No, I really can't. I think people have short memories. Primary contests used to last a lot longer. We all remember the great tragedy of Bobby Kennedy being assassinated in June in L.A. My husband didn't wrap up the nomination in 1992 until June. Having a primary contest go through June is nothing particularly unusual.


So, it wasn’t a slip. It was a talking point. Nice.

Next up, another Asshole Fuckface said something while there was a microphone around.

As many people don’t know, John McCain worked very hard to get the endorsement of Pastor John Hagee. He visited Hagee many times and finally the nut was cracked. Hagee gave McCain his Jesus-like endorsement and all was well for John with a few crazy Christians. Then a few liberal bloggers began posting the insane rantings of Hagee, which included blaming gays for Hurricane Katrina. Of course, the media ignored those comments, because a black man in Chicago was saying something bad. McCain did disavow the comments, but not the Pastor - that is until now. It was only a matter of time until someone unearthed an incredibly heinous Hagee speech.



Wow. Someone just made Jeremiah Wright look like a hero. There’s really nothing like saying Hitler killing 6 million Jews was God’s work. Welcome to the Asshole Fuckface hall of fame, creep.

McCain was forced to reject Hagee’s endorsement.


John McCain on Thursday rejected the endorsement of televangelist John Hagee after it was reported that the pastor once argued the Nazis operated on God's behalf to root out Jews in Europe and get them to Palestine.


Nice. That was just too much for John. The “gays caused Hurricane Katrina” shit was totally cool, though.

My next Asshole Fuckface… said something horrible. Go figure.

Michael Savage is the most vile, right wing radio host in America. I would actually have a hard time arguing that he is human. I think he’s more of a physical form of pure hate wrapped in flesh. This week, Savage decided to make fun of Ted Kennedy and his newly diagnosed brain cancer.



Ha ha. Get it? The Dead Kennedys. Ted has a deadly brain tumor. GET IT? Fucking hilarious. And cutting in Arnold’s “It's not a tumor” line is genius.


"As a general rule, at 76, without the ability to do a surgical resection, as kind of a ballpark figure you're probably looking at a survival of less than a year.”


Hee, hee. Isn’t that a hoot?


Glioma is an aggressive form of brain cancer, in which the average survival rate can range from less than one year to about five years. About 20,000 people are diagnosed with this type of cancer, and half die in 18 months.


Giggle, giggle.

How Michael Savage is allowed to speak into anything other than his own shoe is amazing.

Finally, my last Asshole Fuckface may be the worst parent, ever.

Meet Try Sienghym. He’s a Cambodian mechanic who isn’t very good at playing with his son. Apparently, Try was having a good time with his five-year-old in the shop, when he decided to play “tire.”


A Cambodian father and mechanic learned the hard way not to inflate children when he inserted an air hose designed to fill car tires into his 5-year-old son's anus and blew him up.


“Learned the hard way not to inflate children.” Just let that soak in for a minute. Dude actually thought he could inflate his child, like a Road Runner cartoon. Let’s take this picture a bit further. He grabbed his child, and I assume pulled down his pants, then rammed an air hose into his asshole and turned that fucker on. Fun.

Oh, and I think the kid actually is the one who “learned the hard way.”


The paper said the child's stomach became distended and his concerned mother rushed him to hospital, where he remains in a stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery.


For those who don’t know anything about our digestive system, it goes like this: Anus, rectum, colon, the large intestine, the small intestine and then the stomach. (And that’s backwards – stuff is supposed to go the other way) So, Dad blew air all the way through his boy’s digestive system and into his stomach. But, he is sorry.


"The father very much regrets playing like this now," the paper quoted a family member as saying.


I bet. He’s also now the village retard.


Police were not expected to take action against the father, blaming the incident on pure stupidity, against which there is currently no law.


Yes, but he gets something worse. He will forever be known as an Asshole Fuckface.

Congrats to this week's Asshole Fuckfaces. You will all receive a FearTheReaper marble statue.

 

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wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

MAY 24, 2008 10:43 AM

FearTheReaper said:

wildswan said:
Try coming up with a more analytical response. Or not. I don't mind either way.

I would like to add that I don't have knee-jerk responses to anything, thank you. I rather like thinking for myself.



I did. Try showing the part in my original post that in any way relates to your first mound of bullshit post.


But, I guess one misses something like that when one is all frothed up in a ridiculous, superficial circle jerk of non-objectivity, and hypocritical hate.



"frothed up?" Please, show me where I was frothed up. Thanks.

"Superficial circle jerk of non-objectivity" - now why would someone respond to that in a "analytic" manner, sweetie?

"Hypocritical hate" - Please let me know how my hate is hypocritical and I will respond. Otherwise, you have just made baseless accusations.




Don't call me sweetie. Ever.

If you can't see what I'm talking about from the very clear statement I made, then my only response is that you just refuse, or you're incapable of doing so.

But maybe you can attack Obama the next time he praises his opponent.

Oh, but way to show civility. It proves so well how well Barack can change the tone and tenor of political discourse.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

MAY 24, 2008 10:43 AM

Hooraydiation said:

RFK Jr. endorsed Clinton and has appeared in ads on her behalf. He's also said that he'd run for her Senate seat if she were to become President.

.



That and he hadn't heard or read the what she said when he made the statement.


Mr. Kennedy said he has been traveling and had not seen the video or read Mrs. Clinton's comments, but said his support of Mrs. Clinton has not wavered.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

MAY 24, 2008 10:44 AM

wildswan said:

FearTheReaper said:

wildswan said:
Try coming up with a more analytical response. Or not. I don't mind either way.

I would like to add that I don't have knee-jerk responses to anything, thank you. I rather like thinking for myself.



I did. Try showing the part in my original post that in any way relates to your first mound of bullshit post.


But, I guess one misses something like that when one is all frothed up in a ridiculous, superficial circle jerk of non-objectivity, and hypocritical hate.



"frothed up?" Please, show me where I was frothed up. Thanks.

"Superficial circle jerk of non-objectivity" - now why would someone respond to that in a "analytic" manner, sweetie?

"Hypocritical hate" - Please let me know how my hate is hypocritical and I will respond. Otherwise, you have just made baseless accusations.




Don't call me sweetie. Ever.

If you can't see what I'm talking about from the very clear statement I made, then my only response is that you just refuse, or you're incapable of doing so.

But maybe you can attack Obama the next time he praises his opponent.

Oh, but way to show civility. It proves so well how well Barack can change the tone and tenor of political discourse.



Sorry, honey.

You should probably put me on ignore, because that's what I'll be doing with you after this post. You are probably my least liked poster on these boards and my tolerance has just run out.

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

MAY 24, 2008 10:45 AM

Oh, but way to show civility. It proves so well how well Barack can change the tone and tenor of political discourse.



What? Since when has it been Barack's goal, during the man's campaign, to make people like FTR less abrasive? Since when has it been his responsibility?

FearTheReaper said:

Hooraydiation said:

RFK Jr. endorsed Clinton and has appeared in ads on her behalf. He's also said that he'd run for her Senate seat if she were to become President.

.



That and he hadn't heard or read the what she said when he made the statement.


Mr. Kennedy said he has been traveling and had not seen the video or read Mrs. Clinton's comments, but said his support of Mrs. Clinton has not wavered.



Well, that pretty much says it all.

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

MAY 24, 2008 10:51 AM

Hooraydiation said:

wildswan said:
You're reading into the situation something I don't. I have no animus towards either candidate, and don't buy most of the hyperbolic attacks made against either candidate.



You're reading, in my comment, something that isn't there. Truth is, I didn't see any animosity in her words either.

Doesn't mean it wasn't offensive, though, even if RFK Jr. says it isn't.



Do you believe he's RFK junior is lying?


What I'm seeing is a willingness to believe and repeat the most noxious accusations against both the candidates. When people propagate the notion that Oboma and his family are anti-American, it galls me. I see those people as believing what they choose to believe because of a tribal mindset. I see the same thing happening to both candidates, and it's not something I'll support if Jesus Christ Superstar himself said that I should buy into it.

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

MAY 24, 2008 10:53 AM

FearTheReaper said:
Sorry, honey.

You should probably put me on ignore, because that's what I'll be doing with you after this post. You are probably my least liked poster on these boards and my tolerance has just run out.



Oh, I'm so sorry that I poisoned your water supply and cast a plague unto your house.

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

MAY 24, 2008 11:05 AM

wildswan said:

Do you believe he's RFK junior is lying?

What I'm seeing is a willingness to believe and repeat the most noxious accusations against both the candidates. When people propagate the notion that Oboma and his family are anti-American, it galls me. I see those people as believing what they choose to believe because of a tribal mindset. I see the same thing happening to both candidates, and it's not something I'll support if Jesus Christ Superstar himself said that I should buy into it.



No, RFK Jr. isn't lying. He's just, as FTR pointed out, saying that he won't let a comment he hasn't actually heard cause his support for a candidate he endorsed to waver.

But like I said, RFK Jr. is in no position to say whether or not Hillary's comment is categorically offensive since it carries the potential to offend people who aren't Kennedy's or, more specifically, RFK Jr. RFK cannot speak on behalf of these people, and to suggest that he can or should is a folly on your part.

I'm repeating myself, at this point.

malkav11

malkav11

Saint Paul, MN
July 2003

MAY 24, 2008 11:14 AM

I think there's a teensy weensy bit of difference between changing the tone of political discourse (i.e., the dialogue between politicians), and changing the tone of political discourse *on the internet* (i.e., the dialogue between totally anonymous fuckwads).

And no, I don't think you're *all* fuckwads, but I think we can agree that there are a lot of them on the Internet.

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

MAY 24, 2008 11:18 AM

Hooraydiation said:

wildswan said:

Do you believe he's RFK junior is lying?

What I'm seeing is a willingness to believe and repeat the most noxious accusations against both the candidates. When people propagate the notion that Oboma and his family are anti-American, it galls me. I see those people as believing what they choose to believe because of a tribal mindset. I see the same thing happening to both candidates, and it's not something I'll support if Jesus Christ Superstar himself said that I should buy into it.



No, RFK Jr. isn't lying. He's just, as FTR pointed out, saying that he won't let a comment he hasn't actually heard cause his support for a candidate he endorsed to waver.

But like I said, RFK Jr. is in no position to say whether or not Hillary's comment is offensive since it carries the potential to offend people who aren't Kennedy's or, more specifically, RFK Jr. RFK cannot speak on behalf of these people, and to suggest that he can or should is a folly on your part.



I'm not saying that RFK Jr.'s remarks are the only remarks that should be considered, but I am suggesting that they should, at least, be considered.

But RFK Jr. being in no position to say whether the comments are offensive, from his perspective? I don't believe so.

I'm also wondering how he's commenting on something that he hasn't heard. It seems to me that he's heard it from somewhere.

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

MAY 24, 2008 11:23 AM

Okay, consider his comments duly noted and the idea of people being able to speak for themselves wholly reaffirmed. I never ignored the former and I never disputed the latter, and I'm not about to start out of nowhere.

And he hadn't heard Clinton's comments, even though it makes no logical sense for people to being giving opinons about things they don't haven't heard.

Mr. Kennedy said he has been traveling and had not seen the video or read Mrs. Clinton's comments, but said his support of Mrs. Clinton has not wavered.



Anyway, I don't see how the merits of RFK Jr.'s uninformed opinion is worth arguing. The same goes for Clinton's original comment.

It was dumb and offensive, but it's too late for anything she has to say to matter either way, so let's just note it and move on.

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

MAY 24, 2008 11:24 AM

malkav11 said:
I think there's a teensy weensy bit of difference between changing the tone of political discourse (i.e., the dialogue between politicians), and changing the tone of political discourse *on the internet* (i.e., the dialogue between totally anonymous fuckwads).

And no, I don't think you're *all* fuckwads, but I think we can agree that there are a lot of them on the Internet.



For me, discourse is discourse is discourse. But, I'm aware that many people feel differently.

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

MAY 24, 2008 11:26 AM

Hooraydiation said:
Okay, consider his comments duly noted and the idea of people being able to speak for themselves wholly reaffirmed. I never ignored the former and I never disputed the latter.

And he hadn't heard Clinton's comments, even though it makes no logical sense for people to being giving opinons about things they don't haven't heard.

Mr. Kennedy said he has been traveling and had not seen the video or read Mrs. Clinton's comments, but said his support of Mrs. Clinton has not wavered.



Perhaps he heard the comments later and then made a more detailed response?


Odd. This is what I was responding to:

Hooraydiation said:
Okay, consider his comments duly noted and the idea of people being able to speak for themselves wholly reaffirmed.

And he hadn't heard Clinton's comments.

Mr. Kennedy said he has been traveling and had not seen the video or read Mrs. Clinton's comments, but said his support of Mrs. Clinton has not wavered.


So there.




Odd.

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

MAY 24, 2008 11:28 AM

wildswan said:

Hooraydiation said:
Okay, consider his comments duly noted and the idea of people being able to speak for themselves wholly reaffirmed. I never ignored the former and I never disputed the latter.

And he hadn't heard Clinton's comments, even though it makes no logical sense for people to being giving opinons about things they don't haven't heard.

Mr. Kennedy said he has been traveling and had not seen the video or read Mrs. Clinton's comments, but said his support of Mrs. Clinton has not wavered.



Perhaps he heard the comments later and then made a more detailed response?



Unless you can find proof that he did, he didn't.

And I don't think RFK Jr.'s opinion should be the center of this discussion anyway, assuming the discussion itself is worth having in the first place.

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

MAY 24, 2008 11:39 AM

Hooraydiation said:

wildswan said:

Hooraydiation said:
Okay, consider his comments duly noted and the idea of people being able to speak for themselves wholly reaffirmed. I never ignored the former and I never disputed the latter.

And he hadn't heard Clinton's comments, even though it makes no logical sense for people to being giving opinons about things they don't haven't heard.

Mr. Kennedy said he has been traveling and had not seen the video or read Mrs. Clinton's comments, but said his support of Mrs. Clinton has not wavered.



Perhaps he heard the comments later and then made a more detailed response?



Unless you can find proof that he did, he didn't.

And I don't think RFK Jr.'s opinion should be the center of this discussion anyway, assuming the discussion itself is worth having in the first place.




Perhaps it's indicated in the specific comments he made yesterday:


May 23, 2008 10:23 PM
This evening Robert Kennedy Jr., who has endorsed Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., cautioned folks not to be offended at Clinton's mention of his father's assassination when discussing why she was staying in the race and how there was precedent for the primaries lasting until June.
In a statement, Kennedy Jr. said: "It is clear from the context that Hillary was invoking a familiar political circumstance in order to support her decision to stay in the race through June. I have heard her make this reference before, also citing her husband's 1992 race, both of which were hard fought through June. I understand how highly charged the atmosphere is, but I think it is a mistake for people to take offense.







livertarian

livertarian

Fairfax, VA
February 2008

MAY 24, 2008 11:47 AM

wildswan said:

Hooraydiation said:

wildswan said:
You're reading into the situation something I don't. I have no animus towards either candidate, and don't buy most of the hyperbolic attacks made against either candidate.



You're reading, in my comment, something that isn't there. Truth is, I didn't see any animosity in her words either.

Doesn't mean it wasn't offensive, though, even if RFK Jr. says it isn't.



Do you believe he's RFK junior is lying?


What I'm seeing is a willingness to believe and repeat the most noxious accusations against both the candidates. When people propagate the notion that Oboma and his family are anti-American, it galls me. I see those people as believing what they choose to believe because of a tribal mindset. I see the same thing happening to both candidates, and it's not something I'll support if Jesus Christ Superstar himself said that I should buy into it.



The fact that Hillary has repeated the RFK in June line makes it clear to me that she is playing some subtle-to-not-so-subtle mind games on voters. It's clear that this was part of the strategy. Plan B or C, perhaps. I think this was worth pointing out as some asshole fuckfacery.

I also think every national campaign has its variations on this kind of shit. If Hillary were in the lead right now, she'd be taking more heat, guaranteed. Who knows how Obama's campaign prepared for the possibility of coming up short in the polls or primaries? His fans might prefer to think of the man as being morally superior to Clinton by now, but I believe there's no way to know these people's morals in a meaningful way. This is all careful acting, in my opinion. You have to have media polish to succeed in politics. Discretion and slickness mask all personal foibles. Ted Kennedy just got a huge boost in likability simply because he got sick. I recall the mystery of Chappaquiddick and wonder why any of us bother to compare these people on a moral basis. RFK Jr has been using this autism thing to gain points - does this make him a truly nice guy, or an opportunist? Can he be both, and how might that change one's opinion of the person? For me, only the policy statements and campaign promises have weight once I'm in the booth. I might be in the minority here. Clinton is no different from any other desperately ambitious politician on the ropes. They will usually come out swinging with whatever they can find., if the stakes are high enough. These people could all be Asshole Fuckfaces, and with some we may never know. With Clinton, we have confirmation.

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