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Asshole Fuckface Roundup #47

SATURDAY MAY 24 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: Hillary Clinton, John Hagee, Michael Savage

Merry Asshole Fuckface Day. This is the day during which righteous people such as yourself can laugh at and mock the miserable fucks that inhabit our sweet Earth. That’s where I come in. I drag the hideous beasts from their caves and into the light of day, for all to see. It’s not an easy job. Sometimes I sit in a corner and weep for 17 hours straight. Other times I angrily masturbate, while crying tears for the children. So goes the life of an Asshole Fuckface exposer. It’s what my father did and his father before him. It’s the life we Reapers have chosen and we do it with pride. So, go grab your umbrella and cover yourself in thick grease, because this is going to be ugly.

First up, some Asshole Fuckface lady keeps saying stupid shit.



Oh, fuck. Can you please stop saying the dumbest shit ever? Or how about if you just refrain from bringing up the assassination of Ted Kennedy’s brother the week he was diagnosed with a horrible brain tumor?

There are only two options with this little verbal gem. Either she thinks she should stick in the race because Obama might be assassinated pretty soon, or she thinks the assassination of Robert Kennedy is a great comparison to her campaign. Either way, she’s an Asshole Fuckface. Maybe later she can go pee on Ted's skull.

Oh, and she’s made this comment before.


TIME: Can you envision a point at which--if the race stays this close--Democratic Party elders would step in and say, "This is now hurting the party and whoever will be the nominee in the fall"?

CLINTON: No, I really can't. I think people have short memories. Primary contests used to last a lot longer. We all remember the great tragedy of Bobby Kennedy being assassinated in June in L.A. My husband didn't wrap up the nomination in 1992 until June. Having a primary contest go through June is nothing particularly unusual.


So, it wasn’t a slip. It was a talking point. Nice.

Next up, another Asshole Fuckface said something while there was a microphone around.

As many people don’t know, John McCain worked very hard to get the endorsement of Pastor John Hagee. He visited Hagee many times and finally the nut was cracked. Hagee gave McCain his Jesus-like endorsement and all was well for John with a few crazy Christians. Then a few liberal bloggers began posting the insane rantings of Hagee, which included blaming gays for Hurricane Katrina. Of course, the media ignored those comments, because a black man in Chicago was saying something bad. McCain did disavow the comments, but not the Pastor - that is until now. It was only a matter of time until someone unearthed an incredibly heinous Hagee speech.



Wow. Someone just made Jeremiah Wright look like a hero. There’s really nothing like saying Hitler killing 6 million Jews was God’s work. Welcome to the Asshole Fuckface hall of fame, creep.

McCain was forced to reject Hagee’s endorsement.


John McCain on Thursday rejected the endorsement of televangelist John Hagee after it was reported that the pastor once argued the Nazis operated on God's behalf to root out Jews in Europe and get them to Palestine.


Nice. That was just too much for John. The “gays caused Hurricane Katrina” shit was totally cool, though.

My next Asshole Fuckface… said something horrible. Go figure.

Michael Savage is the most vile, right wing radio host in America. I would actually have a hard time arguing that he is human. I think he’s more of a physical form of pure hate wrapped in flesh. This week, Savage decided to make fun of Ted Kennedy and his newly diagnosed brain cancer.



Ha ha. Get it? The Dead Kennedys. Ted has a deadly brain tumor. GET IT? Fucking hilarious. And cutting in Arnold’s “It's not a tumor” line is genius.


"As a general rule, at 76, without the ability to do a surgical resection, as kind of a ballpark figure you're probably looking at a survival of less than a year.”


Hee, hee. Isn’t that a hoot?


Glioma is an aggressive form of brain cancer, in which the average survival rate can range from less than one year to about five years. About 20,000 people are diagnosed with this type of cancer, and half die in 18 months.


Giggle, giggle.

How Michael Savage is allowed to speak into anything other than his own shoe is amazing.

Finally, my last Asshole Fuckface may be the worst parent, ever.

Meet Try Sienghym. He’s a Cambodian mechanic who isn’t very good at playing with his son. Apparently, Try was having a good time with his five-year-old in the shop, when he decided to play “tire.”


A Cambodian father and mechanic learned the hard way not to inflate children when he inserted an air hose designed to fill car tires into his 5-year-old son's anus and blew him up.


“Learned the hard way not to inflate children.” Just let that soak in for a minute. Dude actually thought he could inflate his child, like a Road Runner cartoon. Let’s take this picture a bit further. He grabbed his child, and I assume pulled down his pants, then rammed an air hose into his asshole and turned that fucker on. Fun.

Oh, and I think the kid actually is the one who “learned the hard way.”


The paper said the child's stomach became distended and his concerned mother rushed him to hospital, where he remains in a stable condition and is expected to make a full recovery.


For those who don’t know anything about our digestive system, it goes like this: Anus, rectum, colon, the large intestine, the small intestine and then the stomach. (And that’s backwards – stuff is supposed to go the other way) So, Dad blew air all the way through his boy’s digestive system and into his stomach. But, he is sorry.


"The father very much regrets playing like this now," the paper quoted a family member as saying.


I bet. He’s also now the village retard.


Police were not expected to take action against the father, blaming the incident on pure stupidity, against which there is currently no law.


Yes, but he gets something worse. He will forever be known as an Asshole Fuckface.

Congrats to this week's Asshole Fuckfaces. You will all receive a FearTheReaper marble statue.

 

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OhSoOrdinary

OhSoOrdinary

New York, NY
July 2006

MAY 24, 2008 06:12 AM

What a bunch of dumbasses. Especially her. I fuckin' hate that lady.

Nolan_Void

Nolan_Void

Salisbury, NC
July 2004

MAY 24, 2008 06:29 AM

I don't understand why anyone is covering her campaign anymore. Get thee behind me, devil.

bald_eagle

bald_eagle

Indianapolis, IN
November 2006

MAY 24, 2008 06:47 AM

Clinton is beginning to look like she's just too stupid to live. She kept repeating that huge lie about Bosnian snipers even after she had been challenged on it. How could she not know that someone would eventually come up with the video?

And how could she possibly not understand how ghoulish the reference to Bobby Kennedy would sound? Even without Ted's problem, that's disgusting. But with his recent diagnosis, it's unbelievably stupid.

Nolan_Void

Nolan_Void

Salisbury, NC
July 2004

MAY 24, 2008 07:08 AM

Reposted from other threads, and in the Liberal Politics group.

Keith Olbermann says it all.

brokenbeatnik

brokenbeatnik

Atlanta, GA
May 2005

MAY 24, 2008 07:08 AM

The thing that frustrates me is that a good friend of mine, who's nominally a Clinton supporter but a Democrat first, would argue with me a lot about how Obama supporters are only out for Obama and they've never voted before and they're not going to vote if he's not running. While it is true he turned out a lot of new voters, guess what, a lot of them are first time voters who couldn't have voted before anyway, so that's not fair. And what do you know, it turns out that it's all Clinton backers who are like "Screw Obama, I'm not voting for him in November."

The true test will be how she deals with the loss. Is she going to mobilize her support base in support of him or will she let them run their write-in campaign or whatever the hell they're doing? She does have the right to continue, but instead of pretending she can still win, she should be trying to start getting her base prepared to take down McCain.

Dude, I'm scared of Bobby Jindal (governor of Louisiana) as the Republican VP candidate. He's like Mecha-Obama, pretty conservative, but young, brilliant, and dynamic. The only thing that may make him a safe pick from a Democratic perspective is that a lot of the far right can't tell the difference among all the ethnicities between South Asia and the Fertile Crescent and will just think Terrorist or Job Taker, or sometimes fantastically, both.. It would be kind of fantastic to have a Black candidate for President on one side and an Indian candidate for VP though, just to watch the rash of spontaneous Klansman head explosions that result.

_kungfoo_

_kungfoo_

Los Angeles, CA
April 2005

MAY 24, 2008 08:56 AM

I think she's torpedoed her own chances to win the veepstakes with this one.

formerviking

formerviking

Denver, PA
May 2006

MAY 24, 2008 09:03 AM

_kungfoo_ said:
I think she's torpedoed her own chances to win the veepstakes with this one.



Good . One of the things I would like Obama to do is pick a running mate who hasn't been a fixture in the Whitehouse recently . I'd like him to pick someone who might bring some newer ideas with them . Not just more of the same pleeze .

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

MAY 24, 2008 09:26 AM

You left out that Robert F kennedy Jr. Has defended Clinton's remarks:

RFK Jr. Says No One Should Be Offended:



May 23, 2008 10:23 PM
This evening Robert Kennedy Jr., who has endorsed Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., cautioned folks not to be offended at Clinton's mention of his father's assassination when discussing why she was staying in the race and how there was precedent for the primaries lasting until June.
In a statement, Kennedy Jr. said: "It is clear from the context that Hillary was invoking a familiar political circumstance in order to support her decision to stay in the race through June. I have heard her make this reference before, also citing her husband's 1992 race, both of which were hard fought through June. I understand how highly charged the atmosphere is, but I think it is a mistake for people to take offense."



But, I guess one misses something like that when one is all frothed up in a ridiculous, superficial circle jerk of non-objectivity, and hypocritical hate.

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

MAY 24, 2008 10:15 AM

wildswan said:
You left out that Robert F kennedy Jr. Has defended Clinton's remarks:

RFK Jr. Says No One Should Be Offended:



May 23, 2008 10:23 PM
This evening Robert Kennedy Jr., who has endorsed Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., cautioned folks not to be offended at Clinton's mention of his father's assassination when discussing why she was staying in the race and how there was precedent for the primaries lasting until June.
In a statement, Kennedy Jr. said: "It is clear from the context that Hillary was invoking a familiar political circumstance in order to support her decision to stay in the race through June. I have heard her make this reference before, also citing her husband's 1992 race, both of which were hard fought through June. I understand how highly charged the atmosphere is, but I think it is a mistake for people to take offense."



But, I guess one misses something like that when one is all frothed up in a ridiculous, superficial circle jerk of non-objectivity, and hypocritical hate.



RFK Jr. endorsed Clinton and has appeared in ads on her behalf. He's also said that he'd run for her Senate seat if she were to become President.

That's not to say his statement is invalid, of course. I just think it should be taken in the context of all the other support he has given her rather than being seen as a statement from a man whose only relevance to the issue is his relationship to the man who was referenced. In short, it's to his advantage to not be offended, and you cannot ignore that.

In any case, the comment is also offensive because it refers to the possibility of Obama being killed and almost directly cites that possibility as a reason for Clinton to remain in the race. RFK Jr.'s comment doesn't address that, and unless Obama says that he himself isn't bothered by the possibility of his own premature death being raised, especially in light of the death threats he's received (which is why he was given Secret Service protection so early), I don't think you can say that no one should be offended.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

MAY 24, 2008 10:16 AM

wildswan said:
You left out that Robert F kennedy Jr. Has defended Clinton's remarks:

RFK Jr. Says No One Should Be Offended:



May 23, 2008 10:23 PM
This evening Robert Kennedy Jr., who has endorsed Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., cautioned folks not to be offended at Clinton's mention of his father's assassination when discussing why she was staying in the race and how there was precedent for the primaries lasting until June.
In a statement, Kennedy Jr. said: "It is clear from the context that Hillary was invoking a familiar political circumstance in order to support her decision to stay in the race through June. I have heard her make this reference before, also citing her husband's 1992 race, both of which were hard fought through June. I understand how highly charged the atmosphere is, but I think it is a mistake for people to take offense."



But, I guess one misses something like that when one is all frothed up in a ridiculous, superficial circle jerk of non-objectivity, and hypocritical hate.



No, I just realized one of her biggest supporters was named Robert Kennedy, Jr. - and that's who got the first call to stop the bleeding. When I hear a comment from Ted, then I'll take it seriously. Also, it's not up to Robert Kennedy to tell people whether or not they should be offended. Oh, and another guy, named, BARACK OBAMA also gets to be offended.

Try looking beyond your knee jerk defenses and take a look at the actual situation.

Johnny_Flapjacks

Johnny_Flapjacks

Williamsport, PA
September 2006

MAY 24, 2008 10:18 AM

I could be wrong here, but considering that many states held their primaries and caucuses at an earlier date, doesn't that make this June much later in the process than it was for Bill or RFK?

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

MAY 24, 2008 10:23 AM

FearTheReaper said:

wildswan said:
You left out that Robert F kennedy Jr. Has defended Clinton's remarks:

RFK Jr. Says No One Should Be Offended:



May 23, 2008 10:23 PM
This evening Robert Kennedy Jr., who has endorsed Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., cautioned folks not to be offended at Clinton's mention of his father's assassination when discussing why she was staying in the race and how there was precedent for the primaries lasting until June.
In a statement, Kennedy Jr. said: "It is clear from the context that Hillary was invoking a familiar political circumstance in order to support her decision to stay in the race through June. I have heard her make this reference before, also citing her husband's 1992 race, both of which were hard fought through June. I understand how highly charged the atmosphere is, but I think it is a mistake for people to take offense."



But, I guess one misses something like that when one is all frothed up in a ridiculous, superficial circle jerk of non-objectivity, and hypocritical hate.



No, I just realized one of her biggest supporters was named Robert Kennedy, Jr. - and that's who got the first call to stop the bleeding. When I hear a comment from Ted, then I'll take it seriously. Also, it's not up to Robert Kennedy to tell people whether or not they should be offended. Oh, and another guy, named, BARACK OBAMA also gets to be offended.

Try looking beyond your knee jerk defenses and take a look at the actual situation.






Try coming up with a more analytical response. Or not. I don't mind either way.

I would like to add that I don't have knee-jerk responses to anything, thank you. I rather like thinking for myself.

Mr_Matt_

Mr_Matt_

Hollywood, FL
July 2005

MAY 24, 2008 10:24 AM

Man, those are some real asshole fuckfaces alright.

Though it would be cool if you could inflate toddlers and fly them like kites. Going to the beach would be so much more fun!

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

MAY 24, 2008 10:30 AM

Hooraydiation said:

wildswan said:
You left out that Robert F kennedy Jr. Has defended Clinton's remarks:

RFK Jr. Says No One Should Be Offended:



May 23, 2008 10:23 PM
This evening Robert Kennedy Jr., who has endorsed Sen. Hillary Clinton, D-N.Y., cautioned folks not to be offended at Clinton's mention of his father's assassination when discussing why she was staying in the race and how there was precedent for the primaries lasting until June.
In a statement, Kennedy Jr. said: "It is clear from the context that Hillary was invoking a familiar political circumstance in order to support her decision to stay in the race through June. I have heard her make this reference before, also citing her husband's 1992 race, both of which were hard fought through June. I understand how highly charged the atmosphere is, but I think it is a mistake for people to take offense."



But, I guess one misses something like that when one is all frothed up in a ridiculous, superficial circle jerk of non-objectivity, and hypocritical hate.



RFK Jr. endorsed Clinton and has appeared in ads on her behalf. He's also said that he'd run for her Senate seat if she were to become President.

That's not to say his statement is invalid, of course. I just think it should be taken in the context of all the other support he has given her rather than being seen as a statement from a man whose only relevance to the issue is his relationship to the man who was referenced. In short, it's to his advantage to not be offended, and you cannot ignore that.

In any case, the comment is also offensive because it refers to the possibility of Obama being killed and almost directly cites that possibility as a reason for Clinton to remain in the race. RFK Jr.'s comment doesn't address that, and unless Obama says that he himself isn't bothered by the possibility of his own premature death being raised, especially in light of the death threats he's received (which is why he was given Secret Service protection so early), I don't think you can say that no one should be offended.




You're reading into the situation something I don't. I have no animus towards either candidate, and don't buy most of the hyperbolic attacks made against either candidate.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

MAY 24, 2008 10:33 AM

wildswan said:
Try coming up with a more analytical response. Or not. I don't mind either way.

I would like to add that I don't have knee-jerk responses to anything, thank you. I rather like thinking for myself.



I did. Try showing the part in my original post that in any way relates to your first mound of bullshit post.


But, I guess one misses something like that when one is all frothed up in a ridiculous, superficial circle jerk of non-objectivity, and hypocritical hate.



"frothed up?" Please, show me where I was frothed up. Thanks.

"Superficial circle jerk of non-objectivity" - now why would someone respond to that in a "analytic" manner, sweetie?

"Hypocritical hate" - Please let me know how my hate is hypocritical and I will respond. Otherwise, you have just made baseless accusations.

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