[Editor's note: OhSoOrdinary submitted this article from Iraq, where she is currently serving with the U.S. Army.]

A great deal of our mission here is psychological. The Iraqi people need to believe that siding with us serves their interests better than siding with the insurgents and the militias. That’s why we run humanitarian aid missions and build infrastructure in their towns and villages. Those big, expensive, time-consuming overtures of friendship do very little to help us when things like this happen. I was in the cafeteria when I first saw this story on CNN's The Situation Room. I was horrified.

Are you serious? Why don’t you just shoot me instead, guy?

When a story like this breaks, two things happen: violence in that area goes up and locals lose trust in us. One stupid ass is all it takes to undermine everything we’re trying to do out here. That’s why that elaborate ceremony was held with generals and television cameras. It’s a really big deal. But, when I saw this story, that’s not what I was thinking about. I wasn’t really thinking. I was looking around. I was listening. Just about everyone’s eyes were on the television. The reactions were all very striking to me.

Just like that cafeteria full of soldiers, I have mixed feelings when I see stories like this. My first feeling was that of annoyance. Public opinion of the war and the troops isn’t exactly awesome and this doesn’t help. All the militant liberals who believe we’re all a bunch of villains with blood on our hands raise these stories up and say, “See! Look at the bastardly bastards!” It’s so hurtful to be seen that way by our fellow citizens when the children of this foreign country smile at us and wave when we drive by.

But then I was angry. This jerk has undone so much legwork by so many other service members. All those joes who ran patrols and all those Humint teams who developed rapports with the sheiks and tribal leaders may just as well have stayed on the FOB. Now, whoever has to run missions in Radwaniyah is in even more danger. The herder who would have warned them of that man who had been digging by the road that morning might not speak up this time. The shop owner who always tells them when new people move into the village might just keep things to himself this time. They might be all on their own.

Later that evening, because it is within my nature to do so, I found myself trying to understand this Staff Sergeant. It wasn’t hard. Hating all of them is very easy.

There is a profound sense of kinship in the military. Calling it strong is a gross understatement. Calling it profound is an understatement still. Before we deploy, we spend a year or so living and working with the same people. They become our brothers and our sisters. Then, we all leave for a country full of people who want to kill us. When we land on our FOB, we make a silent and largely subconscious promise to each other: “I’m going to take care of you. I’m going to make sure you’re okay and we’re going to come home together.”

When that promise is broken, it is a kind of pain that I cannot easily describe to you. Everyone experiences it differently, but for me it manifested itself first with anguish and guilt. It tore at my insides and sorrow bled into my soul. It changed into anger. I was so angry at the person who set that IED. He killed my Crouch. He killed my brother. I didn’t know who he was, but I hated him.

I’ve only lost one brother. I’ve only broken one promise. But over 4,000 promises have been broken over the last five years and I can understand how that hate for the person who took your brother could infect the rest of your psyche. It could make you call them towelheads. It could make you exploit the language barrier to make jokes about them. It could make you look for a reason – any reason at all – to pop off a few rounds. It could make you lust for revenge. It could. But, it shouldn’t.

Members of the Armed Services are very often held in high regard. As such, we are constantly reminded that each one of us represents all of us. So, when an unnamed Staff Sergeant plants a few rounds in a Quran, in the eyes of the public, we all do. That’s unfortunate, because the vast majority of us make a choice contrary to this Staff Sergeant. We choose to retain our humanity.

It’s easy to dehumanize an entire race of people when you think they’re trying to kill you. Especially when they all look the same. Especially when there’s a language barrier. Especially when they follow the rules you and yours have set for them. It’s really easy to see them and the things they love as a little less than human and a little less than precious. It’s easy. It’s really easy. But it’s not right.

It’s not right to use Qurans for target practice. It’s not right to massacre entire families for revenge. It’s not right to throw puppies off cliffs. It’s not right to treat detainees like animals. It’s not right to sacrifice one’s humanity by succumbing to hatred.

Members of the Armed Services are very often held in high regard, but we are a microcosm of society. All I ask is that you remember that for every Soldier, Marine, Sailor or Airman who succumbs to hatred, there are ten thousand of us who do not.

[Hat tip: Argene]

OhSoOrdinary can't wait to go home, wash her hands of this whole mess, and start her bright, shiny, new life.