The big news during this primary season is not Barack Obama, but the shit kicking Republicans have taken in three Congressional districts. Illinois, Louisiana and Mississippi have given the GOP a glimpse of the future – and it is one ugly sight for the right wing. In each of these states, a Republican stronghold district was holding a special election because the GOP incumbent retired. And in each district, the Republicans lost to a Democrat. Losing in these areas would be like a Democrat losing in San Francisco. Expect a brutal bloodbath in November.

It’s the perfect storm. Republicans are stuck with the most unpopular president of all time, an unpopular war, a horrible economy and a fired up Democratic base. Many GOP lawmakers are retiring because their orgy days in Congress are over. So far, 30 Republicans lawmakers have retired or won’t seek re-election, compared to only 7 Democrats. Turns out the GOP suddenly found themselves unpopular with lobbyists and voters, alike.

Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert announced his retirement last year and his seat was up for grabs during the March 5th Illinois primary. Republicans spent a massive $1.2 million on a seat that they held for two decades. That amounted to 20% of the Republican Congressional Committee’s total cash on hand – and they were spending it in a district that hadn’t been competitive for decades. In 2004, Bush won the district 55%-44%. This is deep in Republican land.

Yet, local businessman and Democrat Bill Foster won the seat easily, with 53% of the vote. Not a good sign for John McCain, who campaigned and raised money for the Republican loser. And not a good sign for the GOP “Iraq is going super” mantra. Foster is strongly opposed to the war, while the Republican loser kept saying the surge was working. Not so much.

Next up on the Republican shame train was May 5th in Louisiana. Republican Richard Baker retired from Congress after 11 terms. The district he represented had been in GOP control for 33 years and, like Hastert’s seat, was largely a conservative and rural district. Serious Republican country – or it was, anyway.

Republicans also spent heavily in this Louisiana special election, dropping $1 million on radio and TV ads trying to link Democratic candidate Don Cazayoux to Barack Obama (black guy) and Nancy Pelosi (lady). FAIL. Cazayoux squeaked by with a 49% to 46% victory. That is an incredibly pathetic number for a Republican candidate in a conservative district, one that was actually redrawn in 2000 to make it even “more reliably Republican.” Richard Baker had won the previous 2 races with 72% and 83% and in 2004, Bush won with 59% of all votes. Now Republicans aren’t even hitting that all-important 50% number. Welcome to the world of grim.

Finally, on Tuesday night, Democrat Travis Childers easily beat his Republican opponent in a conservative Mississippi district. By “easily,” I mean 54% - 46%. That’s a fucking ridiculous number for a Democrat in a Republican stronghold and means a serious anal rape for the GOP come November.

This was as safe a seat as Republicans have. In 2004, the district voted for Bush by a margin of 62% to 37%. The GOP had a decent candidate named Greg Davis, who didn’t bring any baggage. Trent Lott, Mike Huckabee, Dick Cheney and Haley Barbour all showed up and campaigned with Davis. The Republican Congressional Committee spent $1.3 million, Davis spent over a million and Freedom Watch spent $500,000. And they went as pathetic as possible with their ads.



Black guy, black guy, lady! Oh, my God!

And yet, it resulted in a spectacular Republican FAIL. It is inconceivable that Republicans lost this seat and a harbinger of doom. The GOP can do nothing to stop the brutal devastation heading their way. Well, that’s not true, they can lube up and relax their sphincters. EVERY Republican seat is now officially in play. You will see them attack each other and even their God, George Bush. It only took 8 hours for a Republican House member to take a shot at El Presidente.

Tommy is the representative for the city of Babytown. Here’s a tip, Tommy: For the past eight years, when Bush was putting forth the most retarded policies of all time, you probably shouldn’t have been tickling his balls and taking his load into your mouth. When Americans turned against the war, you probably shouldn’t have done everything in your power to keep it going. When Bush put forth his insane tax cuts during a time of war, you probably shouldn’t have acted like they were the second coming of Jesus. You are spineless, deluded cunts and the suffering coming your way is of your own making.

And just in case you don't get it, here’s where you stand, you ignorant shit beast.

The public believes Democrats are better than Republicans on most important issues by massive margins.

On the economy, Democrats now have a 14-point advantage over the Republicans.

On Government Ethics and Corruption - 45% now trust Democrats, while just 26% prefer the GOP.

On National Security and the War on Terror, 49% of voters now trust the Democrats more, while 42% trust the Republicans more.

On Iraq, Democrats hold an 11-point lead over the Republicans.

Congressional Republicans can blame Bush all they want, but they are at fault spending the past eight years acting like NAMBLA on a boy fuck-trip to Bangkok. Without a care in the world, they plundered our country and indulged in the most selfish and unethical acts democratically elected officials could. They aren’t even a party anymore. The GOP is a just a brothel, created to service corporate cocks in their angry, wet holes. Let the suffering begin.