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Asshole Fuckface Roundup #45

SATURDAY MAY 10 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.

Many people fear Asshole Fuckfaces and spend their lives hiding and cowering from the worst humanity has to offer. That’s where I come in. For centuries, my people have shown a light on the most hideous among us, so that we may know their identity and protect ourselves accordingly. Each week, I scour the Earth looking for the worst of the worst and present them to you, so that you may mock and scorn them, like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. So, put on your favorite plastic hoodie and prepare yourself for a dip into Lake Disgusting.

First up, Philadelphia is no stranger to Asshole Fuckacery, but the city of brotherly love managed to reach new lows this week.

Police witnessed a shooting while conducting a drug surveillance operation in the Hunting Park section of Philadelphia. Four men in a car shot at and injured three people standing on a street corner. One of the suspects escaped on foot, while the three others sped away in a car. Police pursued and caught them. That’s when the Asshole Fuckfacery started.



Welcome to the world of cameras! You’re probably going to get to know those guys better in the yard. Oh, and way to make three attempted murderers rich. That’ll teach ‘em.

Thirteen of the cops have been suspended. The beating victims have been charged with assault, conspiracy and reckless endangerment. The beatings occurred two days after a police officer was shot to death during a bank robbery. Hey, maybe next time try therapy.

Next up, South African Asshole Fuckfaces have come up with a way to deal with lesbians.

South Africa is seeing an “alarming rise” in the number of “corrective rapes.” What are “corrective rapes” you ask? Well, get out your barf bag and take a look.


“Corrective rape” is the term used when a man rapes a lesbian woman, believing that the heinous act will somehow make the woman heterosexual.


Well, that’s about as awful a sentence as I have ever read in my life. Apparently the problem is especially acute in the Western Cape area. Corrective rape is mostly taking place in schools and is often a student on student crime. The University of South Africa recently did a study and concluded “schools are unsafe places for many lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgendered learners.”

But the entire country has a serious problem with lesbian rape. Recently a lesbian football player named Eudy Simeland was gang raped, repeatedly stabbed and killed after returning from a night out. Many South African communities also believe it is acceptable for a man for force himself on a woman if she ignores his come-ons.

Remind me never to go to South Africa. Also, remind me not to grow a vagina.

Next up, some soldiers in Iraq doing an awesome job of Asshole Fuckfacery.



Oh, man, how funny is it to kill dogs? Apparently it’s hilarious. Keep up the good work, boys. Shit likes this makes the military look awesome. And by all means – fucking film that shit and put it up on You Tube. Can’t see how that might be a problem.

Next up, there really are no greater Asshole Fuckfaces in the world than the ones who run Burma.

Burma was hit by a cyclone last week and death tolls are estimated up to 100,000. The country is completely devastated. Entire villages have been washed away and people have no food or medicine. It could not be a worse or more horrific situation. Yet, the military government refuses to allow aid workers into the country.


The country's ruling generals continue to block most foreign aid workers from entering the country. They declared they would accept aid from abroad but no aid workers or the logistics equipment to deliver it.


A few planes carrying aid have been allowed into the country – but far fewer than what is needed. The military is only using 7 helicopters to distribute the aid throughout the devastated nation. These Asshole Fuckfaces are simply evil.


The Myanmar Embassy in Bangkok, Thailand, where dozens of aid agencies have congregated as they seek permission to establish a humanitarian relief bridge, was closed today for a holiday. The embassy said it would reopen Monday.


By all means, take a break. You’ve been working hard with all the killing of monks and whatnot.

And the final Asshole Fuckface in video. (It's only a 3:21 video, don't know what happened and I can't fix it)

 

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motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 11, 2008 05:53 PM

the fact that they are being used poorly, in their mission to keep us safe, does not detract from the effort they're putting in--nor from the stress they accrue from expending such an effort, nor from the role that stress takes in their actions.

goatinamoat

goatinamoat

New York, NY
March 2006

MAY 11, 2008 06:20 PM

GRAKI would even go out on a limb and guess that there was only one soldier doing the real laughing and the rest were probably his stool pigeons just playing along. Yes, there is peer pressure in the Army. Get over the damn dog.

What chance do you think the video was a hoax?

jermhawk

jermhawk

Tidioute, PA
December 2004

MAY 11, 2008 07:12 PM

Hell two cops did that to me and all i was doing was having a drink at last call. Too bad the press doesn't film here because noone cares about us rural folk who cling to our guns and religion.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 11, 2008 07:13 PM

well, if you weren't all so bitter...

jermhawk

jermhawk

Tidioute, PA
December 2004

MAY 11, 2008 07:19 PM

motorfirebox said:
well, if you weren't all so bitter...


Yup even more so after they denied me communication from jail while they destroyed the tape of them beating me while i was handcuffed in a jail cell.
And i won't rest untill they are investigated

ajaxappleengle

ajaxappleengle

Little Rock, AR
December 2004

MAY 11, 2008 07:33 PM

Yup, those three criminals that shot people sure were asshole fuckfaces. Good things the cops were johnny on the spot to hand them down a beating.

QuargWarrior

QuargWarrior

Norcross, GA
February 2008

MAY 12, 2008 04:43 PM

FearTheReaper said:

QuargWarrior said:

You are looking at actions through your eyes. Eyes that are safe at home behind your fucking computer screen, while the Mrs. is in the kitchen. Tonight you will go to bed, knock off a piece and sleep easy because those monsters you have been condemning all day are out there to keep you safe.



They're not keeping me safe. Right now they are making the world less safe. Sorry if you have a difficult time grasping facts or need to tell yourself what they are doing is for America's safety in some way.

It's not. Everyday they are in Iraq, they are making America less safe. Because our President is a fucking retard and has chosen to use the military to get his friends rich beyond their wildest dreams.



YAWN!!!

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

MAY 12, 2008 04:48 PM

QuargWarrior said:

FearTheReaper said:

QuargWarrior said:

You are looking at actions through your eyes. Eyes that are safe at home behind your fucking computer screen, while the Mrs. is in the kitchen. Tonight you will go to bed, knock off a piece and sleep easy because those monsters you have been condemning all day are out there to keep you safe.



They're not keeping me safe. Right now they are making the world less safe. Sorry if you have a difficult time grasping facts or need to tell yourself what they are doing is for America's safety in some way.

It's not. Everyday they are in Iraq, they are making America less safe. Because our President is a fucking retard and has chosen to use the military to get his friends rich beyond their wildest dreams.



YAWN!!!



Troll.

QuargWarrior

QuargWarrior

Norcross, GA
February 2008

MAY 12, 2008 04:51 PM

bald_eagle said:

QuargWarrior said:
Actually, a great many of you are not qualified to comment on some of these stories. If you have never been in combat, never walked through the streets of an Iraqi city, walked down a jungle path, or been in combat in a myriad of other places where you are subject to being blown up, shot, knifed or killed in some other horrible and disgusting manner at any given moment, then you are totally incapable of assessing the mindset of those soldiers.


I genuinely appreciate your service to our country. But please don't try to tell me that I'm not permitted to express an opinion unless I've served in combat.



I would never tell you that you were not allowed to express your opinion. The first amendment to the Constitution gives you the right to express your opinion. In fact those young people in Iraq, whether or not you believe it and/or agree with it, are there fighting to preserve your right to freedon of speech.

If you will go back and reread my post, I said that if you had not served in combat you were NOT QUALIFIED to discuss it because you do not possess the proper life experience to understand the situation. I stand behind that. If you have never marched a mile in their boots then you have no way of knowing what their life is like or why they act the way they do. You can look at things through the eyes of your sanity; however, you have no way of looking at them through the insanity of their situation.

I am not trying to be mean or put you down here. I have read many of your postings and for the most part I agree with them, but in this situation I do know what I am talking about.

QuargWarrior

QuargWarrior

Norcross, GA
February 2008

MAY 12, 2008 04:56 PM

SockPuppet said:

QuargWarrior said:

FearTheReaper said:

QuargWarrior said:

You are looking at actions through your eyes. Eyes that are safe at home behind your fucking computer screen, while the Mrs. is in the kitchen. Tonight you will go to bed, knock off a piece and sleep easy because those monsters you have been condemning all day are out there to keep you safe.



They're not keeping me safe. Right now they are making the world less safe. Sorry if you have a difficult time grasping facts or need to tell yourself what they are doing is for America's safety in some way.

It's not. Everyday they are in Iraq, they are making America less safe. Because our President is a fucking retard and has chosen to use the military to get his friends rich beyond their wildest dreams.



YAWN!!!



Troll.



Why am I a troll? Because I do not happen to agree with FTR. I have made some very well thought out and heart felt posts on this subject and when I yawn because I am tired of trying to speak intelligently to people that for the most part cannot and/or will not understand then you have to gall to call me a troll.

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

MAY 12, 2008 04:58 PM

QuargWarrior said:

bald_eagle said:

QuargWarrior said:
Actually, a great many of you are not qualified to comment on some of these stories. If you have never been in combat, never walked through the streets of an Iraqi city, walked down a jungle path, or been in combat in a myriad of other places where you are subject to being blown up, shot, knifed or killed in some other horrible and disgusting manner at any given moment, then you are totally incapable of assessing the mindset of those soldiers.


I genuinely appreciate your service to our country. But please don't try to tell me that I'm not permitted to express an opinion unless I've served in combat.



I would never tell you that you were not allowed to express your opinion. The first amendment to the Constitution gives you the right to express your opinion. In fact those young people in Iraq, whether or not you believe it and/or agree with it, are there fighting to preserve your right to freedon of speech.

If you will go back and reread my post, I said that if you had not served in combat you were NOT QUALIFIED to discuss it because you do not possess the proper life experience to understand the situation. I stand behind that. If you have never marched a mile in their boots then you have no way of knowing what their life is like or why they act the way they do. You can look at things through the eyes of your sanity; however, you have no way of looking at them through the insanity of their situation.

I am not trying to be mean or put you down here. I have read many of your postings and for the most part I agree with them, but in this situation I do know what I am talking about.



So, as far as you're concerned, they get a free pass. Whether or not they are fighting for your freedom. Because "If you have never marched a mile in their boots then you have no way of knowing what their life is like or why they act the way they do."

Which is nonsense. You have no problem describing someone as

another pseudo-intellectual elitist snob who walks around looking down on everyone he doesn't agree with or who doesn't agree with you.

QuargWarrior

QuargWarrior

Norcross, GA
February 2008

MAY 12, 2008 05:23 PM

SockPuppet said:

QuargWarrior said:

bald_eagle said:

QuargWarrior said:
Actually, a great many of you are not qualified to comment on some of these stories. If you have never been in combat, never walked through the streets of an Iraqi city, walked down a jungle path, or been in combat in a myriad of other places where you are subject to being blown up, shot, knifed or killed in some other horrible and disgusting manner at any given moment, then you are totally incapable of assessing the mindset of those soldiers.


I genuinely appreciate your service to our country. But please don't try to tell me that I'm not permitted to express an opinion unless I've served in combat.



I would never tell you that you were not allowed to express your opinion. The first amendment to the Constitution gives you the right to express your opinion. In fact those young people in Iraq, whether or not you believe it and/or agree with it, are there fighting to preserve your right to freedon of speech.

If you will go back and reread my post, I said that if you had not served in combat you were NOT QUALIFIED to discuss it because you do not possess the proper life experience to understand the situation. I stand behind that. If you have never marched a mile in their boots then you have no way of knowing what their life is like or why they act the way they do. You can look at things through the eyes of your sanity; however, you have no way of looking at them through the insanity of their situation.

I am not trying to be mean or put you down here. I have read many of your postings and for the most part I agree with them, but in this situation I do know what I am talking about.



So, as far as you're concerned, they get a free pass. Whether or not they are fighting for your freedom. Because "If you have never marched a mile in their boots then you have no way of knowing what their life is like or why they act the way they do."

Which is nonsense. You have no problem describing someone as

another pseudo-intellectual elitist snob who walks around looking down on everyone he doesn't agree with or who doesn't agree with you.



No they don't. I never said they get a free pass. Just that most people discussing the issue cannot understand why they do what they do unless you have been there.

Those soldiers are not monsters. They are our brothers, cousins, nephews, sons and fathers. They need to be looked at in that light and helped when they get home. Not reviled.

That does not make me a troll.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 12, 2008 05:27 PM

SockPuppet said:
So, as far as you're concerned, they get a free pass.


that isn't what he said. what he said was that not everyone is qualified to judge the soldiers' behavior. i'm not sure i agree that only those who've served in combat can possibly have the necessary qualifications, but it's certainly true that combat--especially extended periods in which combat is frequent and/or threatened--imposes changes on the human mind that require specialized knowledge to understand (to the extent that these changes can be understood by modern psychology).

everyone is entitled to their opinion. my opinion is that some opinions are flat-out incorrect--they are in conflict with factual information. i place greater value on opinions held by people with a strong grasp of the factual information related to their opinion; people with lesser grasps on the facts are certainly welcome to hold their own views--just as i am perfectly free to discount their views.

specifically, my opinion is that FTR's most recent post, concerning whether or not the troops in Iraq are keeping him safe, is frivolous and beside the point. i feel his post is a cheap attempt to shift attention away from his treatment of the soldiers in the video. that isn't to imply that i have any less respect for FTR--i enjoy reading his posts, even when he's wrong. he presents enough in the way of hard evidence that the occasional dirty pool he plays can be accepted as part of the presentation.

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

MAY 12, 2008 05:29 PM

QuargWarrior said:

SockPuppet said:

QuargWarrior said:

bald_eagle said:

QuargWarrior said:
Actually, a great many of you are not qualified to comment on some of these stories. If you have never been in combat, never walked through the streets of an Iraqi city, walked down a jungle path, or been in combat in a myriad of other places where you are subject to being blown up, shot, knifed or killed in some other horrible and disgusting manner at any given moment, then you are totally incapable of assessing the mindset of those soldiers.


I genuinely appreciate your service to our country. But please don't try to tell me that I'm not permitted to express an opinion unless I've served in combat.



I would never tell you that you were not allowed to express your opinion. The first amendment to the Constitution gives you the right to express your opinion. In fact those young people in Iraq, whether or not you believe it and/or agree with it, are there fighting to preserve your right to freedon of speech.

If you will go back and reread my post, I said that if you had not served in combat you were NOT QUALIFIED to discuss it because you do not possess the proper life experience to understand the situation. I stand behind that. If you have never marched a mile in their boots then you have no way of knowing what their life is like or why they act the way they do. You can look at things through the eyes of your sanity; however, you have no way of looking at them through the insanity of their situation.

I am not trying to be mean or put you down here. I have read many of your postings and for the most part I agree with them, but in this situation I do know what I am talking about.



So, as far as you're concerned, they get a free pass. Whether or not they are fighting for your freedom. Because "If you have never marched a mile in their boots then you have no way of knowing what their life is like or why they act the way they do."

Which is nonsense. You have no problem describing someone as

another pseudo-intellectual elitist snob who walks around looking down on everyone he doesn't agree with or who doesn't agree with you.



No they don't. I never said they get a free pass. Just that most people discussing the issue cannot understand why they do what they do unless you have been there.

Those soldiers are not monsters. They are our brothers, cousins, nephews, sons and fathers. They need to be looked at in that light and helped when they get home. Not reviled.

That does not make me a troll.



That wasn't why I called you a troll. Go back, look at it again.

QuargWarrior

QuargWarrior

Norcross, GA
February 2008

MAY 12, 2008 05:33 PM

SockPuppet said:

QuargWarrior said:

SockPuppet said:

QuargWarrior said:

bald_eagle said:

QuargWarrior said:
Actually, a great many of you are not qualified to comment on some of these stories. If you have never been in combat, never walked through the streets of an Iraqi city, walked down a jungle path, or been in combat in a myriad of other places where you are subject to being blown up, shot, knifed or killed in some other horrible and disgusting manner at any given moment, then you are totally incapable of assessing the mindset of those soldiers.


I genuinely appreciate your service to our country. But please don't try to tell me that I'm not permitted to express an opinion unless I've served in combat.



I would never tell you that you were not allowed to express your opinion. The first amendment to the Constitution gives you the right to express your opinion. In fact those young people in Iraq, whether or not you believe it and/or agree with it, are there fighting to preserve your right to freedon of speech.

If you will go back and reread my post, I said that if you had not served in combat you were NOT QUALIFIED to discuss it because you do not possess the proper life experience to understand the situation. I stand behind that. If you have never marched a mile in their boots then you have no way of knowing what their life is like or why they act the way they do. You can look at things through the eyes of your sanity; however, you have no way of looking at them through the insanity of their situation.

I am not trying to be mean or put you down here. I have read many of your postings and for the most part I agree with them, but in this situation I do know what I am talking about.



So, as far as you're concerned, they get a free pass. Whether or not they are fighting for your freedom. Because "If you have never marched a mile in their boots then you have no way of knowing what their life is like or why they act the way they do."

Which is nonsense. You have no problem describing someone as

another pseudo-intellectual elitist snob who walks around looking down on everyone he doesn't agree with or who doesn't agree with you.



No they don't. I never said they get a free pass. Just that most people discussing the issue cannot understand why they do what they do unless you have been there.

Those soldiers are not monsters. They are our brothers, cousins, nephews, sons and fathers. They need to be looked at in that light and helped when they get home. Not reviled.

That does not make me a troll.



That wasn't why I called you a troll. Go back, look at it again.



I know. You called me a troll because I yawned at FTR's statement. It is always the same thing and is tiring. I had a long post ready in reply to his statement and decided it was just not worth it. So I yawned.

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