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Asshole Fuckface Roundup #45

SATURDAY MAY 10 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.

Many people fear Asshole Fuckfaces and spend their lives hiding and cowering from the worst humanity has to offer. That’s where I come in. For centuries, my people have shown a light on the most hideous among us, so that we may know their identity and protect ourselves accordingly. Each week, I scour the Earth looking for the worst of the worst and present them to you, so that you may mock and scorn them, like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. So, put on your favorite plastic hoodie and prepare yourself for a dip into Lake Disgusting.

First up, Philadelphia is no stranger to Asshole Fuckacery, but the city of brotherly love managed to reach new lows this week.

Police witnessed a shooting while conducting a drug surveillance operation in the Hunting Park section of Philadelphia. Four men in a car shot at and injured three people standing on a street corner. One of the suspects escaped on foot, while the three others sped away in a car. Police pursued and caught them. That’s when the Asshole Fuckfacery started.



Welcome to the world of cameras! You’re probably going to get to know those guys better in the yard. Oh, and way to make three attempted murderers rich. That’ll teach ‘em.

Thirteen of the cops have been suspended. The beating victims have been charged with assault, conspiracy and reckless endangerment. The beatings occurred two days after a police officer was shot to death during a bank robbery. Hey, maybe next time try therapy.

Next up, South African Asshole Fuckfaces have come up with a way to deal with lesbians.

South Africa is seeing an “alarming rise” in the number of “corrective rapes.” What are “corrective rapes” you ask? Well, get out your barf bag and take a look.


“Corrective rape” is the term used when a man rapes a lesbian woman, believing that the heinous act will somehow make the woman heterosexual.


Well, that’s about as awful a sentence as I have ever read in my life. Apparently the problem is especially acute in the Western Cape area. Corrective rape is mostly taking place in schools and is often a student on student crime. The University of South Africa recently did a study and concluded “schools are unsafe places for many lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgendered learners.”

But the entire country has a serious problem with lesbian rape. Recently a lesbian football player named Eudy Simeland was gang raped, repeatedly stabbed and killed after returning from a night out. Many South African communities also believe it is acceptable for a man for force himself on a woman if she ignores his come-ons.

Remind me never to go to South Africa. Also, remind me not to grow a vagina.

Next up, some soldiers in Iraq doing an awesome job of Asshole Fuckfacery.



Oh, man, how funny is it to kill dogs? Apparently it’s hilarious. Keep up the good work, boys. Shit likes this makes the military look awesome. And by all means – fucking film that shit and put it up on You Tube. Can’t see how that might be a problem.

Next up, there really are no greater Asshole Fuckfaces in the world than the ones who run Burma.

Burma was hit by a cyclone last week and death tolls are estimated up to 100,000. The country is completely devastated. Entire villages have been washed away and people have no food or medicine. It could not be a worse or more horrific situation. Yet, the military government refuses to allow aid workers into the country.


The country's ruling generals continue to block most foreign aid workers from entering the country. They declared they would accept aid from abroad but no aid workers or the logistics equipment to deliver it.


A few planes carrying aid have been allowed into the country – but far fewer than what is needed. The military is only using 7 helicopters to distribute the aid throughout the devastated nation. These Asshole Fuckfaces are simply evil.


The Myanmar Embassy in Bangkok, Thailand, where dozens of aid agencies have congregated as they seek permission to establish a humanitarian relief bridge, was closed today for a holiday. The embassy said it would reopen Monday.


By all means, take a break. You’ve been working hard with all the killing of monks and whatnot.

And the final Asshole Fuckface in video. (It's only a 3:21 video, don't know what happened and I can't fix it)

 

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Ferretbite

Ferretbite

Mexico
September 2006

MAY 11, 2008 02:43 PM

GRAK said:
I assure all of you who are worried about the K-9 population of Iraq that there is an over abundance of stray dogs in this country. If little Johnny lost his only pal in a war torn city I guarantee he found another Rover that same day laying on the side of the road, basking in the shade, waiting to be found and loved. Wait, Iraqis treat the dogs here worse than we do, in fact, there is such an over abundance of stray dogs in this country that every patrol base, FOB, COB, COS and BP has at least two adopted dogs that are well fed and loved because the locals treat em like garbage and the IA shoot em. The place I'm holed up in has 4 dogs that are very much cared for and taken care with talks of trying to bring the dog back that belongs to my company. I would even go out on a limb and guess that there was only one soldier doing the real laughing and the rest were probably his stool pigeons just playing along. Yes, there is peer pressure in the Army. Get over the damn dog.



They also treated other humans worse than us Free Nations do, and as a result, they were given the gifts of Democracy and Freedom.

It's not about "the damn dog" but rather the act of blowing it up because you're bored/stressed/whatever other reason. Nobody's questioning that, but if you feel like you're allowed to blow shit up just for kicks, and post yourself laughing on the internet, you are going to get called an asshole fuckface because you bloody well are, and the fact that a) there are too many dogs, b) being there is traumatizing and/or c) iraqis fear them or treat them like crap doesn't make it right.

wereduck

wereduck

I'm lost
July 2007

MAY 11, 2008 02:57 PM

motorfirebox said:

we3 pirate said:
The kind of people who would do that are the kind of people who would do that in polite society if they thought they could get away with it.


fuck that. you don't have the first goddamn clue what a person will or will not sink to when the act of murder suddenly stops being the nadir of their moral compass. you flat-out lack the breadth of experience necessary to be able to make that kind of extrapolation.

we3 pirate said:
Even if you swept aside these two points, I would like to reiterate that they were fucking about while doing their jobs.


quite possibly. that's something i'd have no problem condemning them for. to be clear, i would like to see these soldiers disciplined. i'd like to see them in counseling. i mean, for fucks' sake, we provide psychotherapeutic services to people who murder their fellow humans; i'd hope we're not going to just write off some guys whose worst crime is accidentally (in my opinion) blowing up a dog and laughing about it.



I'll half-concede on your first point, since there are numerous cases of people doing terrible things under extreme circumstances (one of them being the infamous study with students as prisoners and guards), and that I made an error in making a generalization. But even you would have to admit that there are many people who fit into that category that are in the military.

And I agree wholeheartedly with your second point. And I never was writing off the soldiers as beyond help. They should be given great psychiatric counselling, which is sad because the current veterans healthcare system, how shall I say, sucks.

And I don't think it was accidental, since the soldiers in the video sound like they're mocking the dog before it was blown up. If I had the impression it was accidental, I would agree with you that the laughter would have been a stress relief (EDITgallows humor, as QuargWarrior pointed out), but I don't. I think that's where our disagreement comes from, and probably where everyone else's disagreement does, too.

QuargWarrior

QuargWarrior

Norcross, GA
February 2008

MAY 11, 2008 03:01 PM

Ferretbite said:

GRAK said:
I assure all of you who are worried about the K-9 population of Iraq that there is an over abundance of stray dogs in this country. If little Johnny lost his only pal in a war torn city I guarantee he found another Rover that same day laying on the side of the road, basking in the shade, waiting to be found and loved. Wait, Iraqis treat the dogs here worse than we do, in fact, there is such an over abundance of stray dogs in this country that every patrol base, FOB, COB, COS and BP has at least two adopted dogs that are well fed and loved because the locals treat em like garbage and the IA shoot em. The place I'm holed up in has 4 dogs that are very much cared for and taken care with talks of trying to bring the dog back that belongs to my company. I would even go out on a limb and guess that there was only one soldier doing the real laughing and the rest were probably his stool pigeons just playing along. Yes, there is peer pressure in the Army. Get over the damn dog.



They also treated other humans worse than us Free Nations do, and as a result, they were given the gifts of Democracy and Freedom.

It's not about "the damn dog" but rather the act of blowing it up because you're bored/stressed/whatever other reason. Nobody's questioning that, but if you feel like you're allowed to blow shit up just for kicks, and post yourself laughing on the internet, you are going to get called an asshole fuckface because you bloody well are, and the fact that a) there are too many dogs, b) being there is traumatizing and/or c) iraqis fear them or treat them like crap doesn't make it right.



You will notice I never said it was OK; however, I am not sure they were bored. It would seem they were doing their job when the dog wandered into the blast zone. We cannot know who taped and posted it. The camera was some distance from the blast and the recording was so loud it may have been in the vehicle of the taper and not those who exploded the device. As I said previously, we simply do not have enough information to make a judgement.

BTW - I see you are from Mexico. Were you in the Mexican Army and did you serve in combat?

_kungfoo_

_kungfoo_

Los Angeles, CA
April 2005

MAY 11, 2008 03:03 PM

QuargWarrior said:
As to the video of the soldiers intentionally blowing up the dog, in this case only, I am not sure just what they did wrong. It would appear they had set explosives to blow up an IED. One soldier can be heard saying, "It's a dog! It's a dog!" Another soldier can be heard to say. "Call the dog." Then a voice like a commander says, "Don't wait for the dog to get out of the way." Possibly they needed to blow it, secure the area and go on.

Immediately after the device blows you see the dog spin around and take off running toward the left of your screen. Then just a second later a dog is seen hauling ass from left to right at the bottom of the screen. Is it the same one? I have no way of knowing but he was sure moving as though he was the one.

As far a laughing it is called Gallows Humor. You have to make things like this funny and laugh at it to get rid of the stress and emotions. If you don't, you become a serious mental case and they send you to the rubber gun squad or worse lock you in a padded cell.



That's certainly a well reasoned and fair perspective, but troubling in it's own right -- as these soldiers re-integrate into American society (speaking very specifically about these 'Gallows' soldiers you were referring to, i.e. the individual laughing manically in the video), what kind of implications does this mean? Is his next door neighbors going to have to worry about the finding the family dog murder one morning? Maybe that isn't a fair question and I don't mean to disparage any soldiers personally; I'm speaking on a macro level here -- but my point here is this: in western societies, people like dogs. They keep them as their pets, treat them like members of their families. This isn't even near the first video of a soldier mistreating an animal. You ask people to realize the perspective of those soldiers, which is fair. However, regardless of the fact that we're sitting behind our in computer screens, people are still going to ask themselves this question: what is wrong with this person that finds enjoyment out of a dog being caught in a explosion? This 'Gallows Humor' may be the reason, but what's the implication then?

My fear is that we're creating monsters, and please realize that I don't mean to say that everybody who has combat experience or PTSD = serial killer. I realize that the Army is very diverse and most will return home and re-integrate fine. But having said that; that guy laughing his off in that video is still out there.

Of course, we can't really fault him for this. Americans allowed him to be put into this situation in the first place.

QuargWarrior

QuargWarrior

Norcross, GA
February 2008

MAY 11, 2008 03:22 PM

Schteeve said:

QuargWarrior said:
As to the video of the soldiers intentionally blowing up the dog, in this case only, I am not sure just what they did wrong. It would appear they had set explosives to blow up an IED. One soldier can be heard saying, "It's a dog! It's a dog!" Another soldier can be heard to say. "Call the dog." Then a voice like a commander says, "Don't wait for the dog to get out of the way." Possibly they needed to blow it, secure the area and go on.

Immediately after the device blows you see the dog spin around and take off running toward the left of your screen. Then just a second later a dog is seen hauling ass from left to right at the bottom of the screen. Is it the same one? I have no way of knowing but he was sure moving as though he was the one.

As far a laughing it is called Gallows Humor. You have to make things like this funny and laugh at it to get rid of the stress and emotions. If you don't, you become a serious mental case and they send you to the rubber gun squad or worse lock you in a padded cell.



That's certainly a well reasoned and fair perspective, but troubling in it's own right -- as these soldiers re-integrate into American society (speaking very specifically about these 'Gallows' soldiers you were referring to, i.e. the individual laughing manically in the video), what kind of implications does this mean? Is his next door neighbors going to have to worry about the finding the family dog murder one morning? Maybe that isn't a fair question and I don't mean to disparage any soldiers personally; I'm speaking on a macro level here -- but my point here is this: in western societies, people like dogs. They keep them as their pets, treat them like members of their families. This isn't even near the first video of a soldier mistreating an animal. You ask people to realize the perspective of those soldiers, which is fair. However, regardless of the fact that we're sitting behind our in computer screens, people are still going to ask themselves this question: what is wrong with this person that finds enjoyment out of a dog being caught in a explosion? This 'Gallows Humor' may be the reason, but what's the implication then?

My fear is that we're creating monsters, and please realize that I don't mean to say that everybody who has combat experience or PTSD = serial killer. I realize that the Army is very diverse and most will return home and re-integrate fine. But having said that; that guy laughing his off in that video is still out there.

Of course, we can't really fault him for this. Americans allowed him to be put into this situation in the first place.



You are absolutely correct. I have had many dealings with WWII vets that were still out there 40 and 50 years after the war. Every war seems to turn out it's share of mental cases. In WWII and Vietnam there was a percentage of soldiers that collected human ears as trophies.

The fact is that these soldiers do not fully integrate. You are correct about videos of soldiers mistreating animals. I looked at one a few minutes ago that showed a soldier throwing a puppy across a field. Now while I may be able to see the AFF incident and give them the benefit of the doubt that throwing across the field was just horrendeous and absolutely uncalled for.

I have received a call to a residence where there was a Vietnam Vet laying out in the grass of the yard with a rifle. He thought "Charlie" was coming after him. So very many cases over the years. I know a very fine man that was a sniper in Vietnam. He will not own a rifle for fear he will suffer a flashback and kill his neighbors. There is really not much chance of that but he thinks it is better to be safe. I quite agree.

I have to be totally honest here. I think this is the worst one ever. When you are walking or riding along and soime asshole blows off an IED that kills your buddies, etc. that is terrifying. I believe it is worse than anything we have gone through before.

We can only hope the Government has good psych doctors standing by and doesn't just send them to some hospital like Walter Reed.

lefthandright

lefthandright

New Zealand
September 2006

MAY 11, 2008 03:56 PM

Some dudes open fire with hand guns and end up getting a beating...i don't really see a problem here apart from the fact it was the police who gave the hiding. We all know it is not the police's job to hand out the whoopings,..that is what prison sex is for.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 11, 2008 04:05 PM

Schteeve said:
That's certainly a well reasoned and fair perspective, but troubling in it's own right -- as these soldiers re-integrate into American society (speaking very specifically about these 'Gallows' soldiers you were referring to, i.e. the individual laughing manically in the video), what kind of implications does this mean?


that's a difficulty that humanity has been trying to solve since the first peace settled after the first war. we're getting better at it, in that at least we're learning to recognize that it's a problem.

we3 pirate said:
But even you would have to admit that there are many people who fit into that category that are in the military.


of course. i just don't necessarily see it as a bad thing. people who enjoy their work are more likely to be good at it; the military fulfills an important function, and i think it's important that its members be good at their jobs.

the thing is, just because someone is psychologically primed to derive pleasure or satisfaction from activities that civilized culture finds uncomfortable or even abhorrent, that doesn't necessarily make them a bad person. it means that they require assistance to operate in civilized society--and that they require more assistance, along with a measure of control, in less civilized settings.

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

MAY 11, 2008 04:13 PM

Schteeve said:My fear is that we're creating monsters, and please realize that I don't mean to say that everybody who has combat experience or PTSD = serial killer. I realize that the Army is very diverse and most will return home and re-integrate fine. But having said that; that guy laughing his off in that video is still out there.

Of course, we can't really fault him for this. Americans allowed him to be put into this situation in the first place.



Eveytime i hear an "end the war now and America will be fine" argument, i get pissed off with it.

Ending the war is only one step in the right direction. We as a country are going to be dealing with the effects of this war, even after it's end for decades to come. Not just financially, not just foreign policy wise, but the actual citizens of the United States of this are going to be affected for a long time.

We took a generation of young-adults, some who wanted to be part of the service, some who were just there for college tuition, some who had no other alternatives in life or other means, we pulled them away from their wives/girlfriends/families, we reprogrammed their train of thought and plopped them in the middle of a 3rd world country and told them to adapt and conquer. They see things i would never want to see, ever, on a daily basis, they have become de-sensitized in order to complete a mission and in some ways to stay sane. That doesn't just go away just because you step foot back on U.S. soil.

Is the act of killing a dog, or throwing a puppy a horrible thing? Fuck yea it is. But who do we blame? The people that sent those young-adults over there to be de-sensitized or the soldiers themselves? The guys in that combat vehicle just probably dealt with 300 people that may have wanted to kill them, tried to kill them, or at any moment may try to kill them. Their life means nothing to the people over there shooting at them, why should an innocent dog mean anything to the soldiers?

While you and I sit here and say "OMG, that poor dog!" after getting back from dinner with our Mothers, these soldiers who haven't seen, maybe haven't talked to their mothers in months, who just drove down a road where they could have been killed at any moment, really, just don't give a fuck about the dog.

It is not right to laugh at it, it is not right to tape it, it is not right to do it. My point being is that, even when the war itself ends, and these soldiers come back, we have to welcome them with open arms, give them their sensitivity back and explain to them why it wasn't right. Not point at them and say "asshole fuckface, you're hideous", that's only going to drive them to do more depraved things. Soldiers are programmed and trained machines, deprogramming them when they get back, and helping them adapt to the civilian way of life is going to take years of effort for some of them. We're going to be dealing with a generation of people that have the potential to become addicts, alcoholics, who can't adapt to a civilian life again, who can't just come home from seeing what they saw and just start over.

Supporting something doesn't mean only supporting it when they're doing right, it means supporting them, correcting them and helping them when they're wrong.

That doesn't happen over night, that takes years and years to accomplish, this war has fucked us more than just financially.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 11, 2008 04:15 PM

DevilsReject said:
Supporting something doesn't mean only supporting it when they're doing right, it means supporting them, correcting them and helping them when they're wrong.


*applause*

QuargWarrior

QuargWarrior

Norcross, GA
February 2008

MAY 11, 2008 04:39 PM

I just saw this on Yahoo and thought it may be germaine to the question and discussion at hand.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080511/ap_on_re_us/disabled_veterans

wereduck

wereduck

I'm lost
July 2007

MAY 11, 2008 04:39 PM

wereduck

wereduck

I'm lost
July 2007

MAY 11, 2008 04:45 PM

motorfirebox said:

we3 pirate said:
But even you would have to admit that there are many people who fit into that category that are in the military.


of course. i just don't necessarily see it as a bad thing. people who enjoy their work are more likely to be good at it; the military fulfills an important function, and i think it's important that its members be good at their jobs.

the thing is, just because someone is psychologically primed to derive pleasure or satisfaction from activities that civilized culture finds uncomfortable or even abhorrent, that doesn't necessarily make them a bad person. it means that they require assistance to operate in civilized society--and that they require more assistance, along with a measure of control, in less civilized settings.



Okay, now I see where you're coming from. I still see the behavior as a bad thing, but you have the right idea of providing better psychological assistance. At first, I thought you were just saying we should just go, "Say, good job there slugger," and let them be on their merry. My apologies.

Varuka_Salt

Varuka_Salt

I'm lost
October 2006

MAY 11, 2008 04:49 PM

we3_pirate said:

motorfirebox said:

we3 pirate said:
But even you would have to admit that there are many people who fit into that category that are in the military.


of course. i just don't necessarily see it as a bad thing. people who enjoy their work are more likely to be good at it; the military fulfills an important function, and i think it's important that its members be good at their jobs.

the thing is, just because someone is psychologically primed to derive pleasure or satisfaction from activities that civilized culture finds uncomfortable or even abhorrent, that doesn't necessarily make them a bad person. it means that they require assistance to operate in civilized society--and that they require more assistance, along with a measure of control, in less civilized settings.



Okay, now I see where you're coming from. I still see the behavior as a bad thing, but you have the right idea of providing better psychological assistance. At first, I thought you were just saying we should just go, "Say, good job there slugger," and let them be on their merry. My apologies.



I'll eat some of that crow. Sorry, I tend to react pretty strongly to that type of thing. I see your point.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 11, 2008 04:49 PM

i'm not always the most clearly-written poster, nor the most level-headed; no harm, no foul.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

MAY 11, 2008 05:37 PM

QuargWarrior said:

You are looking at actions through your eyes. Eyes that are safe at home behind your fucking computer screen, while the Mrs. is in the kitchen. Tonight you will go to bed, knock off a piece and sleep easy because those monsters you have been condemning all day are out there to keep you safe.



They're not keeping me safe. Right now they are making the world less safe. Sorry if you have a difficult time grasping facts or need to tell yourself what they are doing is for America's safety in some way.

It's not. Everyday they are in Iraq, they are making America less safe. Because our President is a fucking retard and has chosen to use the military to get his friends rich beyond their wildest dreams.

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