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Asshole Fuckface Roundup #45

SATURDAY MAY 10 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.

Many people fear Asshole Fuckfaces and spend their lives hiding and cowering from the worst humanity has to offer. That’s where I come in. For centuries, my people have shown a light on the most hideous among us, so that we may know their identity and protect ourselves accordingly. Each week, I scour the Earth looking for the worst of the worst and present them to you, so that you may mock and scorn them, like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. So, put on your favorite plastic hoodie and prepare yourself for a dip into Lake Disgusting.

First up, Philadelphia is no stranger to Asshole Fuckacery, but the city of brotherly love managed to reach new lows this week.

Police witnessed a shooting while conducting a drug surveillance operation in the Hunting Park section of Philadelphia. Four men in a car shot at and injured three people standing on a street corner. One of the suspects escaped on foot, while the three others sped away in a car. Police pursued and caught them. That’s when the Asshole Fuckfacery started.



Welcome to the world of cameras! You’re probably going to get to know those guys better in the yard. Oh, and way to make three attempted murderers rich. That’ll teach ‘em.

Thirteen of the cops have been suspended. The beating victims have been charged with assault, conspiracy and reckless endangerment. The beatings occurred two days after a police officer was shot to death during a bank robbery. Hey, maybe next time try therapy.

Next up, South African Asshole Fuckfaces have come up with a way to deal with lesbians.

South Africa is seeing an “alarming rise” in the number of “corrective rapes.” What are “corrective rapes” you ask? Well, get out your barf bag and take a look.


“Corrective rape” is the term used when a man rapes a lesbian woman, believing that the heinous act will somehow make the woman heterosexual.


Well, that’s about as awful a sentence as I have ever read in my life. Apparently the problem is especially acute in the Western Cape area. Corrective rape is mostly taking place in schools and is often a student on student crime. The University of South Africa recently did a study and concluded “schools are unsafe places for many lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgendered learners.”

But the entire country has a serious problem with lesbian rape. Recently a lesbian football player named Eudy Simeland was gang raped, repeatedly stabbed and killed after returning from a night out. Many South African communities also believe it is acceptable for a man for force himself on a woman if she ignores his come-ons.

Remind me never to go to South Africa. Also, remind me not to grow a vagina.

Next up, some soldiers in Iraq doing an awesome job of Asshole Fuckfacery.



Oh, man, how funny is it to kill dogs? Apparently it’s hilarious. Keep up the good work, boys. Shit likes this makes the military look awesome. And by all means – fucking film that shit and put it up on You Tube. Can’t see how that might be a problem.

Next up, there really are no greater Asshole Fuckfaces in the world than the ones who run Burma.

Burma was hit by a cyclone last week and death tolls are estimated up to 100,000. The country is completely devastated. Entire villages have been washed away and people have no food or medicine. It could not be a worse or more horrific situation. Yet, the military government refuses to allow aid workers into the country.


The country's ruling generals continue to block most foreign aid workers from entering the country. They declared they would accept aid from abroad but no aid workers or the logistics equipment to deliver it.


A few planes carrying aid have been allowed into the country – but far fewer than what is needed. The military is only using 7 helicopters to distribute the aid throughout the devastated nation. These Asshole Fuckfaces are simply evil.


The Myanmar Embassy in Bangkok, Thailand, where dozens of aid agencies have congregated as they seek permission to establish a humanitarian relief bridge, was closed today for a holiday. The embassy said it would reopen Monday.


By all means, take a break. You’ve been working hard with all the killing of monks and whatnot.

And the final Asshole Fuckface in video. (It's only a 3:21 video, don't know what happened and I can't fix it)

 

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motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 10, 2008 07:28 PM

we3 pirate said:
The kind of people who would do that are the kind of people who would do that in polite society if they thought they could get away with it.


fuck that. you don't have the first goddamn clue what a person will or will not sink to when the act of murder suddenly stops being the nadir of their moral compass. you flat-out lack the breadth of experience necessary to be able to make that kind of extrapolation.

we3 pirate said:
Even if you swept aside these two points, I would like to reiterate that they were fucking about while doing their jobs.


quite possibly. that's something i'd have no problem condemning them for. to be clear, i would like to see these soldiers disciplined. i'd like to see them in counseling. i mean, for fucks' sake, we provide psychotherapeutic services to people who murder their fellow humans; i'd hope we're not going to just write off some guys whose worst crime is accidentally (in my opinion) blowing up a dog and laughing about it.

SnowgodCCR said:
I pity them for being disgusting examples of the human race. War makes people do crazy shit like have flashbacks when they hear a dumpster lid drop, and get DUIs when they get home from trying to deal with the things they have seen and done. War doesn't make people laugh at dogs that get blown up. Besides the fact that they used my fucking tax money to kill some helpless dog for jollies.


oh, for fuck's sake. stress--the kind of stress that causes problems when soldiers get home--does not magically appear only after the combat is over and the soldier is safe at home. it's there the whole time, and it pops up and causes problems and alterations in behavior right there on the battlefield. killing a helpless dog for 'jollies' is the least a soldier will do in a warzone, if not given proper guidance and supervision. part of the stress that these soldiers have to deal with, if and when they get home, is understanding how their conscience--their internal sense of right and wrong--could have gotten so twisted while they were serving.

my theory is that for most people, murder is the ultimate bad act. which is to say, most people think someone who kills people is worse than someone who (for instance) kills dogs. so when you're put in a situation where it's okay to kill people, where it's okay to murder--but only some people, and there are no clear ways to tell which people that might be--then things like, say, killing a dog (or even just laughing at one that dies) lose their negative moral connotations.

SockPuppet said:
I think you're moving the goalposts.


i think i'm dragging them back to where they should have been all along, yeah.

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

MAY 10, 2008 07:38 PM

motorfirebox said:

we3 pirate said:
The kind of people who would do that are the kind of people who would do that in polite society if they thought they could get away with it.


fuck that. you don't have the first goddamn clue what a person will or will not sink to when the act of murder suddenly stops being the nadir of their moral compass. you flat-out lack the breadth of experience necessary to be able to make that kind of extrapolation.



And you know that how, exactly? You do not know anything about we3 pirate except what's posted here, right?


we3 pirate said:
Even if you swept aside these two points, I would like to reiterate that they were fucking about while doing their jobs.


quite possibly. that's something i'd have no problem condemning them for. to be clear, i would like to see these soldiers disciplined. i'd like to see them in counseling. i mean, for fucks' sake, we provide psychotherapeutic services to people who murder their fellow humans; i'd hope we're not going to just write off some guys whose worst crime is accidentally (in my opinion) blowing up a dog and laughing about it.



I'd hope that as well.


SnowgodCCR said:
I pity them for being disgusting examples of the human race. War makes people do crazy shit like have flashbacks when they hear a dumpster lid drop, and get DUIs when they get home from trying to deal with the things they have seen and done. War doesn't make people laugh at dogs that get blown up. Besides the fact that they used my fucking tax money to kill some helpless dog for jollies.


oh, for fuck's sake. stress--the kind of stress that causes problems when soldiers get home--does not magically appear only after the combat is over and the soldier is safe at home. it's there the whole time, and it pops up and causes problems and alterations in behavior right there on the battlefield. killing a helpless dog for 'jollies' is the least a soldier will do in a warzone, if not given proper guidance and supervision. part of the stress that these soldiers have to deal with, if and when they get home, is understanding how their conscience--their internal sense of right and wrong--could have gotten so twisted while they were serving.

my theory is that for most people, murder is the ultimate bad act. which is to say, most people think someone who kills people is worse than someone who (for instance) kills dogs. so when you're put in a situation where it's okay to kill people, where it's okay to murder--but only some people, and there are no clear ways to tell which people that might be--then things like, say, killing a dog (or even just laughing at one that dies) lose their negative moral connotations.

SockPuppet said:
I think you're moving the goalposts.


i think i'm dragging them back to where they should have been all along, yeah.



Did you see I edited that comment after it was first posted?

I think what you're saying here is basically sound, but I suspect it doesn't address the roots of the problem.

strangekitty

strangekitty

Astoria, NY
February 2006

MAY 10, 2008 08:10 PM


motorfirebox said:
you laugh at a dog getting blown up because it's funny;



what the fuck?

mad

not funny unless you're really screwed up in the head.

in your scenario, either way you're killing an innocent animal and getting enjoyment out of it, and that is FUCKED UP. definitely not the kind of person i would want to be around, or even have anywhere near me and my family (which consists of my husband and our cats- they're like our CHILDREN!).

earlier this week i read a news story where a woman's small dog was murdered, cut open, and left in her front yard. the assholes who did it lured this poor dog from her backyard, and then killed it for just fun. the lady was single, couldn't have kids, and the ten year old dachshund was like her child. this kind of thing happens a lot, and people don't take it seriously enough. like many people have pointed out, it's a sign that someone is likely to do something similar to a human being someday.

SnowgodCCR said:

I'll cut them some fucking slack in the sense that I don't raise an eyebrow when they can't refrain from swearing constantly. I'll cut them some fucking slack when they use the wrong fork because they've been eating MREs for months. I'll cut them some fucking slack when they develop a drinking problem. I will NEVER cut them some fucking slack for doing something unnecessary and cruel. What if it had been a baby that they blew up? That would be fucking hilarious, because it was a total stranger that got blown up, not one of their buddies. Seriously...I'm fully aware that a high-stress environment can mess with your mind, but the kind of people that blow up dogs for fun shouldn't be allowed in our military.
The fact that they have to deal with life and death on a daily basis would lead one to believe that they would have more respect for life in all it's various forms. There is a difference between being desensitized to death and violence and getting joy out of it.



nicely said.

i'm surprised that more people haven't mentioned the south african "corrective rape" thing as well.

that really makes me wanna barf. people are so fucked up, i will never understand it. those poor women. the worst thing is, i know some of them have probably been raped before, and now they have to deal with that...

sigh.

sitar

sitar

Philadelphia, PA
June 2004

MAY 10, 2008 09:00 PM

seriously,
everybody knows if you want to make skullbongs, you can get them at the bone room.

Oskar

Oskar

Boulder, CO
February 2005

MAY 10, 2008 09:29 PM

strangekitty said:
in your scenario, either way you're killing an innocent animal and getting enjoyment out of it, and that is FUCKED UP. definitely not the kind of person i would want to be around, or even have anywhere near me and my family (which consists of my husband and our cats- they're like our CHILDREN!).

earlier this week i read a news story where a woman's small dog was murdered, cut open, and left in her front yard. the assholes who did it lured this poor dog from her backyard, and then killed it for just fun. the lady was single, couldn't have kids, and the ten year old dachshund was like her child. this kind of thing happens a lot, and people don't take it seriously enough. like many people have pointed out, it's a sign that someone is likely to do something similar to a human being someday.



Just to note.. Iraqi's don't keep dogs as pets, pretty much all dogs are mangy disease riden wild pack dogs. I'm not saying it's fucked up, but do understand that people have an entirely different view on animals in that part of the world.

coyotemike

coyotemike

Tuvalu
May 2006

MAY 10, 2008 10:22 PM

Oskar said:

Just to note.. Iraqi's don't keep dogs as pets, pretty much all dogs are mangy disease riden wild pack dogs. I'm not saying it's fucked up, but do understand that people have an entirely different view on animals in that part of the world.



Source?

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 10, 2008 10:55 PM

[SockPuppet] said:
And you know that how, exactly? You do not know anything about we3 pirate except what's posted here, right?


i know because what he says does not match up with reality. i don't know who we3 pirate is or what he's done, but i know what he's learned.

SockPuppet said:
Did you see I edited that comment after it was first posted?

I think what you're saying here is basically sound, but I suspect it doesn't address the roots of the problem.


no, missed the edit until you pointed it out. i'm not sure the movement of these particular goalposts really matters, relative to what's being discussed. whether someone is fucked up in the head before they join, or whether they get fucked up during their service--fucked up is fucked up, and in either case, compassion and treatment are a better answer than derision and rejection.

strangekitty said:
in your scenario, either way you're killing an innocent animal and getting enjoyment out of it, and that is FUCKED UP.


yes. everyone here is in agreement on that point. where we differ is in our opinions on what should be done. i feel that these soldiers should be treated for the disabilities imposed upon and/or encouraged in them by the service they have volunteered to join, and that while their actions should not be accepted, they themselves should be. you, and others, feel that these soldiers should be called 'asshole fuckfaces' and tossed out the society that created and used them, ignoring the larger issues and root problems that spawn such behavior in the first place. i want to clean up and restore something of value, which happens to be buried under some pretty nasty muck; you want to throw it out because it's really grody, no matter how much it's worth under the dirt--and how well it's served you.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 10, 2008 11:17 PM

SnowgodCCR said:
Way to lose the point of my baby analogy and edit it from your quote.


oh, i couldn't find it earlier, but i just wanted to say i look like a selfish prick, sitting there watching my TV.

SixBoxes

SixBoxes

Stoney Creek, ON
June 2007

MAY 10, 2008 11:29 PM

coyotemike said:

Oskar said:

Just to note.. Iraqi's don't keep dogs as pets, pretty much all dogs are mangy disease riden wild pack dogs. I'm not saying it's fucked up, but do understand that people have an entirely different view on animals in that part of the world.



Source?



Forget source, how about giving us a reason why this little factoid matters at all?

I'd also like to know if this entire argument is anything beyond the tired, old "what's the big deal, it's just an animal?" play, with a military twist. Because we strip away the standard issue CE dick waving, that's what I perceive to be left.

In the interest of full disclosure, I didn't actually watch the video in its entirety. As soon as I saw the dog trotting into view, the sense of dread was plenty to motivate me to move on. With a wife who works in animal care, I get to find out about the awesome things people do to these creatures we've genetically tweaked and twisted to have as companions on a daily basis.

The question that came up of "what if it was a baby?" cements my theory from a couple of paragraphs ago, seeing as that kind of question either implies or directly precedes something along the lines of "A lot of times, we treat animals better than humans". Well the only answer I could have to such a question is "it sure as shit wouldn't be on YouTube." and if animals are held in such high regard in our society, than wouldn't this video's existence represent a bit of a paradox?

joker_

joker_

Windsor, CA
October 2005

MAY 10, 2008 11:45 PM

SixBoxes said:
In the interest of full disclosure, I didn't actually watch the video in its entirety.



I couldn't watch the video either. Dog trotting out was also enough for me.

Ferretbite

Ferretbite

Mexico
September 2006

MAY 11, 2008 12:03 AM


strndniowa said:
Refusing aid when your country has sustained damage like that is pretty dumb...methinks they are concerned about the wrong things...
(off subject question-was any aid offered to the U.S. after Katrina?)



Yeap,
several countries did offer and provide help, including Cuba... but like willam9 said it was turned down.

OhSoOrdinary

OhSoOrdinary

Tacoma, WA
July 2006

MAY 11, 2008 12:42 AM

I've found that Iraqis are afraid of dogs. They throw rocks at them and stuff.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

MAY 11, 2008 02:38 AM

SixBoxes said:
I'd also like to know if this entire argument is anything beyond the tired, old "what's the big deal, it's just an animal?" play, with a military twist.


it's not about the animal, to me. it's about the soldiers, and about how there's no attempt being made to understand why they would act the way they've acted. there are two reasons that i think the "OMG THEYRE SICK" attitude being displayed on these boards is bad: one, it shows a lack of empathy and understanding on the part of the posters--which, ironically enough, is the same problem the soldiers have.

second, let's think about what kinds of responses to this sort of behavior are actually useful to us as a society. if even relatively minor amounts of aberrant behavior--and if you are not aware enough of how humans treat each other to recognize that laughing at a dog that gets blown up is, indeed, relatively non-aberrant, then i'm not sure you really belong in this conversation--are met with derision and rejection, what can a person with an aberrant psychology expect if she/he comes forward for help? derision and rejection encourage further abberrance; they solve nothing. christians, for all their many faults, have a very useful phrase: hate the sin, not the sinner.

the soldiers in this video fucked up, and are fucked up, no question. a person can choose to respond to their actions in such a way as to help these soldiers (and all the others like them) mend, or a person can choose to exacerbate the situation as a cheap way of making themselves feel better.

in light of that? yeah--it's just an animal.

mingol

mingol

Singapore
July 2005

MAY 11, 2008 02:39 AM

coyotemike said:

Oskar said:
Just to note.. Iraqi's don't keep dogs as pets, pretty much all dogs are mangy disease riden wild pack dogs. I'm not saying it's fucked up, but do understand that people have an entirely different view on animals in that part of the world.


Source?


Since Iraq is a Muslim country, I'm going to guess that Oskar and OhSoOrdinary are right.

I also think SixBoxes is correct to point out that it's not germaine to the discussion. These weren't Iraqi troops.

mingol

mingol

Singapore
July 2005

MAY 11, 2008 02:50 AM

Ferretbite said:

strndniowa said:
Refusing aid when your country has sustained damage like that is pretty dumb...methinks they are concerned about the wrong things...
(off subject question-was any aid offered to the U.S. after Katrina?)


Yeap, several countries did offer and provide help, including Cuba... but like willam9 said it was turned down.


There's a summary here.

Singapore was one of the few countries whose aid (4 Chinooks and 45 rescue personnel, most with fresh experience from the Boxing Day tsunami) the U.S. accepted.

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