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PETA: Creeping Me Out More

TUESDAY APRIL 22 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: PETA, In Vitro Meat

Oh PETA, why so crazy? There is a way to fight for the rights of animals without sometimes looking like complete and total lunatics. In this latest episode of PETA creepiness, they want someone to make Frankenmeat.

The organization said it would announce plans on Monday for a $1 million prize to the �first person to come up with a method to produce commercially viable quantities of in vitro meat at competitive prices by 2012.�

Mmmm, daddy wants a big tub of meat. I�m trying to think of a type of food I�d rather eat less than meat created in a test tube and I�m at a loss. This also shows a total lack of understanding of meat eaters. Meat eaters aren�t creepy, bloodthirsty psychos; they just like meat and they don't care that animals have to die for their nourishment.

I can�t even begin to understand what PETA thinks they are going to accomplish with their in vitro meat contest. Wasting one million dollars is amazing, even for them � and it seems a bit off target. PETA's slogan is "animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment." So, I guess they think if they create some awesome fake meat in a lab, they will save animals. FAIL. Huge fail. Spectacular fail.

The decision is actually causing a PETA civil war. Soon the group may break into PFMPETA (Pro Fake Meat PETA) and AFMPETA (Against Fake Meat PETA). I guess some PETA members are not as crazy as I thought.

But, Ms. Newkirk said, the decision to sponsor a prize caused �a near civil war in our office,� since so many PETA members are repulsed by the thought of eating animal tissue, even if no animals are killed.

Lisa Lange, a vice president of the organization, said she was part of the heated exchange. �My main concern is, as the largest animal rights organization in the world, it�s our job to introduce the philosophy and hammer it home that animals are not ours to eat.� Ms. Lange added, �I remember saying I would be much more comfortable promoting eating roadkill.�

Let me re-phrase that. I guess some PETA members are crazier than I thought. Also, I don�t want to live in the world where one has to choose between eating roadkill or in vitro meat. Can�t I just have a banana?

If you are interested in the million dollars, you have to create laboratory chicken and sell it to the public by June 30, 2012. (Hi, arbitrary fake meat date.) The winner must also do the following:

� Produce an in vitro chicken-meat product that has a taste and texture indistinguishable from real chicken flesh to non-meat-eaters and meat-eaters alike.
� Manufacture the approved product in large enough quantities to be sold commercially, and successfully sell it at a competitive price in at least 10 states.

Why would non-meat eaters care about the taste and texture of chicken? Why not make a realistic lab vagina that feels natural for gay men? Actually, that�s a good idea. I�m offering one million for lab-grown vaginas � and I want them created in bulk and sold at competitive rates to real vaginas in 17 states.

I am no fan of meat. Beef farms are the worst things on the face of the Earth for the environment. The volume of waste they produce and the amount of water consumed is astounding. The beef produced is full of hormones and toxins. But the solution is not lab meat - I actually find that less appealing than toxin filled meat. The solution is to not eat meat.

I am horrified by the idea of giant labs pumping out huge slabs of juicy, fake meat. It is a future I want no part of. I will do everything in my power to free the slave meat, if that day ever comes. Please join FIVSMOD (Free In Vitro Slave Meat Or Die) before it is too late.

188 Comments

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dingoes8

Milwaukee, WI

March 2004

APR 23, 2008 09:09 AM

jonze said:
I'm sorry, but we, as a species, didn't bite, scratch, claw and club our way to the top of the food chain just to turn around and give it all up.

How is this giving up? It's using humanity's greatest gifts--ingenuity and foresight--to combat a problem that could eventually wipe us off the earth.

This is the next natural step in humanity's dominance over the planet. We fucked up, now it's our job to fix it. If you have a better idea how to combat the damage that factory farming is doing to our home, then you can give a million dollars to whomever develops it.

emotedcreations

Germany

July 2006

APR 23, 2008 09:11 AM

rawkz said:
Don't they ever wonder what will happen to the cows and chickens if everyone stopped eating them? Do they really think people will spend millions to keep herds of cows alive just as pets?? I am sure one day PETA will realize that if we really all stopped eating meat, cows and chickens would be pretty much wiped out as they would have no use anymore and would be to expensive to keep for no profit. Actually they might never realize that... they are lunatics with no for sight into a realitistic future.

Chickens lay eggs, cows make milk.

rawkz

Toronto, ON

March 2007

APR 23, 2008 09:36 AM

emotedcreations said:

Chickens lay eggs, cows make milk.

PETA is against eating animal bi-products as well. So therefore, the cows milk and chickens eggs wouldn't be needed in their ideal world.

coyotemike

Kearney, NE

May 2006

APR 23, 2008 09:42 AM

rawkz said:

emotedcreations said:

Chickens lay eggs, cows make milk.

PETA is against eating animal bi-products as well. So therefore, the cows milk and chickens eggs wouldn't be needed in their ideal world.

Their ideal world includes a huge number of rotting animal corpses from animals left to die because ranchers can't afford to feed them.

emotedcreations

Germany

July 2006

APR 23, 2008 09:54 AM

rawkz said:

emotedcreations said:

rawkz said:
Don't they ever wonder what will happen to the cows and chickens if everyone stopped eating them? Do they really think people will spend millions to keep herds of cows alive just as pets?? I am sure one day PETA will realize that if we really all stopped eating meat, cows and chickens would be pretty much wiped out as they would have no use anymore and would be to expensive to keep for no profit. Actually they might never realize that... they are lunatics with no for sight into a realitistic future.

Chickens lay eggs, cows make milk.

PETA is against eating animal bi-products as well. So therefore, the cows milk and chickens eggs wouldn't be needed in their ideal world.

You posed a theoretical question: what would happen if we stopped eating chickens and cows? I said we'd eat their eggs and drink their milk. What PETAENS would do or think has nothing to do with your question. But whatever, I was making a joke. Apparently it wasn't that funny.

Manji999

Stanwood, WA

April 2005

APR 23, 2008 10:00 AM

emotedcreations said:
I think it's a cool idea. You get to eat meat without killing animals. It's a win-win scenario as far as I'm concerned. My only issues would be 1) it has to have the same texture and taste 2) it's healthy and natural (I don't want to die of weird cloning chemicals or put myself at unnecessary risk) 3) it's cost effective. Barring those issues I could give a shit and would eat it with pleasure, what the fuck is the difference except the reduction of suffering? Anyway, I don't get the big deal.

I also don't understand why it's such a big deal for PETAENS. No animals suffer, thus it's animal friendly. If you don't want to eat flesh then don't; would you rather have people continue to eat animals or eat lab produced meat? Those who choose the former my friends, are fucking retarded. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

I dont think meat grown in a tube can be natural

emotedcreations

Germany

July 2006

APR 23, 2008 10:10 AM

Manji999 said:
I dont think meat grown in a tube can be natural

Sweet.

rawkz

Toronto, ON

March 2007

APR 23, 2008 10:16 AM

emotedcreations said:

rawkz said:

emotedcreations said:

Chickens lay eggs, cows make milk.

PETA is against eating animal bi-products as well. So therefore, the cows milk and chickens eggs wouldn't be needed in their ideal world.

Actually by "they" I was referring to members of PETA. Otherwise I would have said "we" if I was trying to refer to members of society. But next time I will be more clear.

fluxuation

Waterloo, ON

April 2005

APR 23, 2008 10:34 AM

Bananas aren't a source of protein.

It's pointless to get involved in a "whether or not to eat meat" argument, but I think jumping on a "solution" of test-tube meat is ridiculous. Changes in the methods of meat production need to happen in order to mitigate the environmental destruction caused by factory farming, not to mention the cruel practices. But by switching to less meat consumption (particularly in NA and Europe), we can return to the sustainable meat production methods that humans before industrialization enjoyed for centuries.

s5

STAFF

San Francisco, CA

APR 23, 2008 10:40 AM

Meat grown in a lab would be much safer and better quality than the crappy mystery meat that gets used as filler for chicken nuggets and hot dogs. It would also likely be easier on the environment to produce, and require less land. It would decrease the need for the horrible slaughterhouse industry, which is not just awful for the animals, but it's also awful for the workers. There would be less chance of problems like e.coli contamination or mad cow disease.

In short, there is really no downside, except that FTR thinks "it's creepy". If you think that's creepy and weird, then look no further than our entire food production industry, which bears no relationship to the idyllic family farm mythology of last century. Food is an industrial product, like it or not, continually optimized by new engineering processes and scientific advancements. Anything that can be done to make food safer and easier on the environment to produce should be actively encouraged.

PointBlank

New York, NY

November 2004

APR 23, 2008 10:44 AM

s5 said:

In short, there is really no downside, except that FTR thinks "it's creepy". If you think that's creepy and weird, then look no further than our entire food production industry, which bears no relationship to the idyllic family farm mythology of last century.

Exactly, most meat is already "grown in a lab" for the most part.

_kungfoo_

Los Angeles, CA

April 2005

APR 23, 2008 11:08 AM

I'd probably eat it. I doubt grown-meat could even hold a candle to some of the horrible shit people put through their bodies, like Pepsi for instance.

d20

San Francisco, CA

September 2003

APR 23, 2008 11:14 AM

AceT said:

d20 said:
the real solution is to eat within sustainable means.

Too expensive.

Burgerville uses only local seasonal ingredients and grass-fed cattle raised without hormones or antibiotics. They compost, reducing 85% of their waste, turn their used canola oil into biodiesel, and run on 100% wind power.

The result? I have to pay seven dollars for a combo meal. That's a whole dollar more than I pay at Wendy's. Inexcusable.

the terrorists have clearly already won.

JunkyardAngel

San Gabriel, CA

February 2006

APR 23, 2008 02:00 PM

s5 said:
Meat grown in a lab would be much safer and better quality than the crappy mystery meat that gets used as filler for chicken nuggets and hot dogs. It would also likely be easier on the environment to produce, and require less land. It would decrease the need for the horrible slaughterhouse industry, which is not just awful for the animals, but it's also awful for the workers. There would be less chance of problems like e.coli contamination or mad cow disease.

In short, there is really no downside, except that FTR thinks "it's creepy". If you think that's creepy and weird, then look no further than our entire food production industry, which bears no relationship to the idyllic family farm mythology of last century. Food is an industrial product, like it or not, continually optimized by new engineering processes and scientific advancements. Anything that can be done to make food safer and easier on the environment to produce should be actively encouraged.

+1 - Adding to the last sentence, "Anything that can be done to make food cruelty free, safer and easier on the environment to produce. . .

JunkyardAngel

San Gabriel, CA

February 2006

APR 23, 2008 02:01 PM

KUNGFOO said:
I'd probably eat it. I doubt grown-meat could even hold a candle to some of the horrible shit people put through their bodies, like Pepsi for instance.

And Cheetos! Yummy orange Cheetos!!!!!!

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