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PETA: Creeping Me Out More

TUESDAY APRIL 22 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: PETA, In Vitro Meat

Oh PETA, why so crazy? There is a way to fight for the rights of animals without sometimes looking like complete and total lunatics. In this latest episode of PETA creepiness, they want someone to make Frankenmeat.


The organization said it would announce plans on Monday for a $1 million prize to the “first person to come up with a method to produce commercially viable quantities of in vitro meat at competitive prices by 2012.”


Mmmm, daddy wants a big tub of meat. I’m trying to think of a type of food I’d rather eat less than meat created in a test tube and I’m at a loss. This also shows a total lack of understanding of meat eaters. Meat eaters aren’t creepy, bloodthirsty psychos; they just like meat and they don't care that animals have to die for their nourishment.

I can’t even begin to understand what PETA thinks they are going to accomplish with their in vitro meat contest. Wasting one million dollars is amazing, even for them – and it seems a bit off target. PETA's slogan is "animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment." So, I guess they think if they create some awesome fake meat in a lab, they will save animals. FAIL. Huge fail. Spectacular fail.

The decision is actually causing a PETA civil war. Soon the group may break into PFMPETA (Pro Fake Meat PETA) and AFMPETA (Against Fake Meat PETA). I guess some PETA members are not as crazy as I thought.


But, Ms. Newkirk said, the decision to sponsor a prize caused “a near civil war in our office,” since so many PETA members are repulsed by the thought of eating animal tissue, even if no animals are killed.

Lisa Lange, a vice president of the organization, said she was part of the heated exchange. “My main concern is, as the largest animal rights organization in the world, it’s our job to introduce the philosophy and hammer it home that animals are not ours to eat.” Ms. Lange added, “I remember saying I would be much more comfortable promoting eating roadkill.”


Let me re-phrase that. I guess some PETA members are crazier than I thought. Also, I don’t want to live in the world where one has to choose between eating roadkill or in vitro meat. Can’t I just have a banana?

If you are interested in the million dollars, you have to create laboratory chicken and sell it to the public by June 30, 2012. (Hi, arbitrary fake meat date.) The winner must also do the following:


• Produce an in vitro chicken-meat product that has a taste and texture indistinguishable from real chicken flesh to non-meat-eaters and meat-eaters alike.
• Manufacture the approved product in large enough quantities to be sold commercially, and successfully sell it at a competitive price in at least 10 states.


Why would non-meat eaters care about the taste and texture of chicken? Why not make a realistic lab vagina that feels natural for gay men? Actually, that’s a good idea. I’m offering one million for lab-grown vaginas – and I want them created in bulk and sold at competitive rates to real vaginas in 17 states.

I am no fan of meat. Beef farms are the worst things on the face of the Earth for the environment. The volume of waste they produce and the amount of water consumed is astounding. The beef produced is full of hormones and toxins. But the solution is not lab meat - I actually find that less appealing than toxin filled meat. The solution is to not eat meat.

I am horrified by the idea of giant labs pumping out huge slabs of juicy, fake meat. It is a future I want no part of. I will do everything in my power to free the slave meat, if that day ever comes. Please join FIVSMOD (Free In Vitro Slave Meat Or Die) before it is too late.

 

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Vanessa

Vanessa

SUICIDEGIRL

New Mexico, USA

APR 22, 2008 11:24 PM

MrCrisp said:

Clidna said:
I'll eat lab meat... hell, why not, I already eat vegetarian chicken.



aren't all chickens vegetarian? or am i going to have to start worrying about motherfucking cocks eating my ass?



Yeah, thanks for making me burst out laughing and now I can't stop coughing/laughing (I have a cold so...that tends to happen) wink

AceT

AceT

Portland, OR
April 2004

APR 23, 2008 12:07 AM

d20 said:
the real solution is to eat within sustainable means.


Too expensive.

Burgerville uses only local seasonal ingredients and grass-fed cattle raised without hormones or antibiotics. They compost, reducing 85% of their waste, turn their used canola oil into biodiesel, and run on 100% wind power.

The result? I have to pay seven dollars for a combo meal. That's a whole dollar more than I pay at Wendy's. Inexcusable.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

APR 23, 2008 12:38 AM

yeah, but that 15% increase hits your wallet a little harder when you're surviving solely on nut paste brought in by relief efforts because you and everyone you know are completely without means to take part in your country's economy.

i fully support a human's right to follow whatever wacky diet they are most comfortable with--eating at Burgerville is a fine choice for a person to make. but if we're defining "sustainable' as "no messin' with momma nature", then i don't think it's wise--and it's certainly not humane--to discard otherwise useful tools that could be used to help correct the world's not-eating-enough problems. such as, y'know, hormone-pumped, antibiotic-laden cows that eat whatever the hell it is that non-grass-fed cows eat. or tubmeat!

and, hey, nobody's said that here, that i know of. i just wanted to point it out.

RudieCantFail

RudieCantFail

Baton Rouge, LA
January 2006

APR 23, 2008 12:46 AM

motorfirebox said:
...whatever the hell it is that non-grass-fed cows eat.



Sometimes it's bits of other cows, which when it includes spine and brain tissue can cause mad cow disease.

Cows eating bits of other cows. It doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure out there's something wrong with that.

motorfirebox

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA
March 2004

APR 23, 2008 12:53 AM

heh, point. i'm gonna go ahead and say that zomb--er, that is, mad cows are not a useful tool that could be used to help correct the world's not-eating-enough problems.

TheFox

TheFox

Carrboro, NC
February 2006

APR 23, 2008 04:27 AM

I guess I'm just concerned that if the in-vitro meat works, grocery stores won't distinguish between the two (like irradiated stuff) and cause a huge cock-up.

I dunno. Seems weird.

jonze

jonze

Storrs Mansfield, CT
December 2005

APR 23, 2008 05:06 AM

I'm sorry, but we, as a species, didn't bite, scratch, claw and club our way to the top of the food chain just to turn around and give it all up. If PETA has such a problem with animals getting killed to be turned into food, well hell, they better head up to the arctic and start picketing those evil, meat-eating polar bears for chompin' away at all those baby seals.

Actually, i'd like to see that.

marslove

marslove

Japan
May 2004

APR 23, 2008 05:24 AM

...technical problem* here...

marslove

marslove

Japan
May 2004

APR 23, 2008 05:25 AM

hang on...sorry...looks like a record triple-post for 1 attempt.

marslove

marslove

Japan
May 2004

APR 23, 2008 05:28 AM

SergeantPsycho said:
This is one of those threads I'm going to have a hard time talking seriously in.

First being serious: Popular Mechanics about a year ago had an excellent article on using stem cells to create meat. I think there are two benefits to researching that kind of technology: 1) Once perfected, it's quite possible that the cost of meat will go down, allowing those in poorer countries the nutritional value of eating meat (mainly animal protien).

2) The technology used to create giant slabs of animal tissues might also have some medical applications, like replacing the tissue of damaged organs.

___________________

is this opposite day? I just found myself agreeing with sergeantcrazy on both of his real points (1 & 2)...weird. eeek
*"technical problem" means drunk

Mankarlen

Mankarlen

Deer Island, OR
June 2006

APR 23, 2008 05:40 AM

Or perhaps those that beleive we should not eat meat are as seen in this article proving that they are just plain unstable human beings that need treatment do to there obsessive belief that animals are human. eeek

DropkickWilly

DropkickWilly

Iraq
April 2006

APR 23, 2008 07:09 AM

i read this article and thought to myself, "what is wrong with the world now". in everyday life there will be two sides to every argument. I myself think PETA members are lunatics going against human nature. not that i believe experimentation, cruelty, or using animals for entertainment is right. I think not eating natural animals is completely against human nature. Hunter gather which is what a human has been since the beginning of time. Honestly i think it is a bad idea to grow meat in a lab. pretty much it is cloning meat. when they started cloning sheep PETA had a absolute fit, but in my eyes it is the same thing. then the meat cloning will go into making organs, and substitute limbs for less fortunate individuals which is a good idea. Im sure PETA and other individuals will have a fit about that. next thing you know lesbians will be using vitro grown penises on each other. just seems like a subject that will cause a lot raised eyebrows and more crazed fanatics.

rawkz

rawkz

Toronto, ON
March 2007

APR 23, 2008 07:42 AM

Don't they ever wonder what will happen to the cows and chickens if everyone stopped eating them? Do they really think people will spend millions to keep herds of cows alive just as pets?? I am sure one day PETA will realize that if we really all stopped eating meat, cows and chickens would be pretty much wiped out as they would have no use anymore and would be to expensive to keep for no profit. Actually they might never realize that... they are lunatics with no for sight into a realitistic future.

Hooraydiation

Hooraydiation

Boston, MA
October 2005

APR 23, 2008 07:55 AM

rawkz said:
Don't they ever wonder what will happen to the cows and chickens if everyone stopped eating them? Do they really think people will spend millions to keep herds of cows alive just as pets?? I am sure one day PETA will realize that if we really all stopped eating meat, cows and chickens would be pretty much wiped out as they would have no use anymore and would be to expensive to keep for no profit. Actually they might never realize that... they are lunatics with no for sight into a realitistic future.



If the meat industry as it is now was forced to shut down, out of nowhere, the humane thing to do would be to cease further breeding and let the animals die natural deaths.

The meat industry isn't going to shut down out of nowhere, though, and it's in fact more likely that, in the event of lab-meat becoming the main source for restaurants and grocers, the amount of livestock would just naturally dwindle with the decrease in demand.

In any case, I doubt PETA's stance on animal rights entails keeping population levels for cattle, chickens, and the like at their current numbers. They oppose the breeding of pets, after all, so chances are they'd oppose the breeding of livestock as well, though maybe an argument could be made for keeping a few around in zoos to remind us of where we used to get our food from.

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

APR 23, 2008 08:14 AM

The animals that Meat farms raise are already basically unrecognizable as such and far creepier than this.

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