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PETA: Creeping Me Out More

TUESDAY APRIL 22 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: PETA, In Vitro Meat

Oh PETA, why so crazy? There is a way to fight for the rights of animals without sometimes looking like complete and total lunatics. In this latest episode of PETA creepiness, they want someone to make Frankenmeat.

The organization said it would announce plans on Monday for a $1 million prize to the �first person to come up with a method to produce commercially viable quantities of in vitro meat at competitive prices by 2012.�

Mmmm, daddy wants a big tub of meat. I�m trying to think of a type of food I�d rather eat less than meat created in a test tube and I�m at a loss. This also shows a total lack of understanding of meat eaters. Meat eaters aren�t creepy, bloodthirsty psychos; they just like meat and they don't care that animals have to die for their nourishment.

I can�t even begin to understand what PETA thinks they are going to accomplish with their in vitro meat contest. Wasting one million dollars is amazing, even for them � and it seems a bit off target. PETA's slogan is "animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment." So, I guess they think if they create some awesome fake meat in a lab, they will save animals. FAIL. Huge fail. Spectacular fail.

The decision is actually causing a PETA civil war. Soon the group may break into PFMPETA (Pro Fake Meat PETA) and AFMPETA (Against Fake Meat PETA). I guess some PETA members are not as crazy as I thought.

But, Ms. Newkirk said, the decision to sponsor a prize caused �a near civil war in our office,� since so many PETA members are repulsed by the thought of eating animal tissue, even if no animals are killed.

Lisa Lange, a vice president of the organization, said she was part of the heated exchange. �My main concern is, as the largest animal rights organization in the world, it�s our job to introduce the philosophy and hammer it home that animals are not ours to eat.� Ms. Lange added, �I remember saying I would be much more comfortable promoting eating roadkill.�

Let me re-phrase that. I guess some PETA members are crazier than I thought. Also, I don�t want to live in the world where one has to choose between eating roadkill or in vitro meat. Can�t I just have a banana?

If you are interested in the million dollars, you have to create laboratory chicken and sell it to the public by June 30, 2012. (Hi, arbitrary fake meat date.) The winner must also do the following:

� Produce an in vitro chicken-meat product that has a taste and texture indistinguishable from real chicken flesh to non-meat-eaters and meat-eaters alike.
� Manufacture the approved product in large enough quantities to be sold commercially, and successfully sell it at a competitive price in at least 10 states.

Why would non-meat eaters care about the taste and texture of chicken? Why not make a realistic lab vagina that feels natural for gay men? Actually, that�s a good idea. I�m offering one million for lab-grown vaginas � and I want them created in bulk and sold at competitive rates to real vaginas in 17 states.

I am no fan of meat. Beef farms are the worst things on the face of the Earth for the environment. The volume of waste they produce and the amount of water consumed is astounding. The beef produced is full of hormones and toxins. But the solution is not lab meat - I actually find that less appealing than toxin filled meat. The solution is to not eat meat.

I am horrified by the idea of giant labs pumping out huge slabs of juicy, fake meat. It is a future I want no part of. I will do everything in my power to free the slave meat, if that day ever comes. Please join FIVSMOD (Free In Vitro Slave Meat Or Die) before it is too late.

188 Comments

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... 13

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA

March 2004

APR 22, 2008 07:15 PM

Vanessa said:
Aren't we all supposed to die in 2012 anyway?

according to the interpretations of the Mayan calendar that i'm familiar with (and to be clear, my 'familiarity' is based off intraweb researches, so it's not like i'm, y'know, a real-life expert or anything), 2012 is the year that one particular cycle (a "baktun") of the Mayan calendar ends. specifically, the 12th baktun will end, and the 13th will begin--20 DEC 2012 is numbered, by the long count, as 13.0.0.0.0. a baktun, for reference, is ~394 years. there's been lots of 'em.

it's possible that the end of the 13th baktun may mark the end of the first piktun, in which case a piktun is about 5,000 years. but a piktun may actually consist of 19 baktuns, in which case a piktun is a little under 8,000 years long.

regardless, numerous Mayan inscriptions talk about dates long after 2012, so it's doubtful they thought their calendar predicted the end of the world on 13.0.0.0.0.

Tiwaz

Germany

July 2006

APR 22, 2008 07:22 PM

motorfirebox said:

Vanessa said:
Aren't we all supposed to die in 2012 anyway?

according to the interpretations of the Mayan calendar that i'm familiar with (and to be clear, my 'familiarity' is based off intraweb researches, so it's not like i'm, y'know, a real-life expert or anything), 2012 is the year that one particular cycle (a "baktun")of the Mayan calendar ends. specifically, the 12th baktun will end, and the 13th will begin--20 DEC 2012 is numbered, by the long count, as 13.0.0.0.0. a baktun, for reference, is ~394 years. there's been lots of 'em.

it's possible that the end of the 13th baktun may mark the end of the first piktun, in which case a piktun is about 5,000 years. but a piktun may actually consist of 19 baktuns, in which case a piktun is a little under 8,000 years long.

regardless, numerous Mayan inscriptions talk about dates long after 2012, so it's doubtful they thought their calendar predicted the end of the world on 13.0.0.0.0.

Simply, the Mayans view time and the cosmos cyclically. Saying that there is an end demonstrates a fundamental lack of understanding regarding their concept of time and history. Flux said it much better in her article cited earlier in this thread. Basically anyone who interprets 2012 as the end times is full of it, and I can provide you with several Mayanist's personal phone numbers if you don't believe me.

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA

March 2004

APR 22, 2008 07:23 PM

i'm not clear on why plant genetics is a logical course of research, but animal genetics isn't. to me, it's a matter of whatever turns out to work the best/cheapest--if that's plants-only, animals-only, or (spoiler warning: most likely scenario ahead!) some mix of both, then do that.

strndniowa

Grimes, IA

May 2007

APR 22, 2008 08:03 PM

I live in Iowa where PETA stands, tongue in cheek, for "People for Eating of Tasty Animals...
Is that view right? Probably not- but it is very hard for me to take the idea of not eating meat in one form or another seriously.
Is being a vegan right? If you eat corn, you are eating corn plant embryos in a way...don't they feel pain and have their rights? Does a living lettuce leaf feel it as it is chewed and swallowed?
If people want to be vegetarians more power to them...that is their choice- if they are happier with everyone eating some kind of lab grown something- well- that isn't their choice...
I would rather eat cockroaches then have any more synthetic who knows what in my diet...and I am damn tired of having ideas shoved down my throat by the government or by groups like PETA...
It seems to me that there are a lot bigger problems out there that this group could put an effort into...
The way some animals are treated is horrible...but as a race, we aren't even treating the rest of our race very well...
PETA has gone from doing some good things that needed to be done to radical insanity...much like every other group or person who has a point to make...
Having the freedom to have your own point of view is just that- freedom...
Trying to make the rest of the world meet your opinion is oppression...in the worst way...and I for one am sick of PETA trying to stick their opinions down my throat..
And I will have a Banana, and if it comes down to it, the roach I plucked off of it before I will eat another synthetic anything...

Wheezy_E

Boulder City, NV

April 2004

APR 22, 2008 08:20 PM

wouldn't it be easier to just breed animals that everyone can agree on killing? Like maybe a badger / morray eel / opossum thing. Viscous, ugly, slinky and extra tasty!

silversoul7

Portland, OR

January 2008

APR 22, 2008 09:13 PM

motorfirebox said:
i'm not clear on why plant genetics is a logical course of research, but animal genetics isn't. to me, it's a matter of whatever turns out to work the best/cheapest--if that's plants-only, animals-only, or (spoiler warning: most likely scenario ahead!) some mix of both, then do that.

No amount of genetic tinkering with either plants or animals will solve world hunger, because world hunger is not a matter of the availability of food. It's about the distribution of wealth, particularly natural resources. If you produce more food without addressing the maldistribution of resources, you're simply helping out the haves at the expense of the have-nots.

HOWEVER, this lab meat does have the potential to have great environmental benefits.

FellOnEarth

Temecula, CA

April 2006

APR 22, 2008 09:15 PM

Victory Stew anyone?

Vanessa

SUICIDEGIRL

New Mexico, USA

APR 22, 2008 09:16 PM

emotedcreations said:

motorfirebox said:

Vanessa said:
Aren't we all supposed to die in 2012 anyway?

according to the interpretations of the Mayan calendar that i'm familiar with (and to be clear, my 'familiarity' is based off intraweb researches, so it's not like i'm, y'know, a real-life expert or anything), 2012 is the year that one particular cycle (a "baktun")of the Mayan calendar ends. specifically, the 12th baktun will end, and the 13th will begin--20 DEC 2012 is numbered, by the long count, as 13.0.0.0.0. a baktun, for reference, is ~394 years. there's been lots of 'em.

it's possible that the end of the 13th baktun may mark the end of the first piktun, in which case a piktun is about 5,000 years. but a piktun may actually consist of 19 baktuns, in which case a piktun is a little under 8,000 years long.

regardless, numerous Mayan inscriptions talk about dates long after 2012, so it's doubtful they thought their calendar predicted the end of the world on 13.0.0.0.0.

Hahaha I love you, buddy.

And I'm so glad so many of you are able to pick up smartass sarcasm when it's posted (re:my original post).

Colinism

Atlanta, GA

July 2005

APR 22, 2008 09:36 PM

Vanessa said:

emotedcreations said:

motorfirebox said:

Vanessa said:
Aren't we all supposed to die in 2012 anyway?

according to the interpretations of the Mayan calendar that i'm familiar with (and to be clear, my 'familiarity' is based off intraweb researches, so it's not like i'm, y'know, a real-life expert or anything), 2012 is the year that one particular cycle (a "baktun")of the Mayan calendar ends. specifically, the 12th baktun will end, and the 13th will begin--20 DEC 2012 is numbered, by the long count, as 13.0.0.0.0. a baktun, for reference, is ~394 years. there's been lots of 'em.

it's possible that the end of the 13th baktun may mark the end of the first piktun, in which case a piktun is about 5,000 years. but a piktun may actually consist of 19 baktuns, in which case a piktun is a little under 8,000 years long.

regardless, numerous Mayan inscriptions talk about dates long after 2012, so it's doubtful they thought their calendar predicted the end of the world on 13.0.0.0.0.

Hahaha I love you, buddy.

And I'm so glad so many of you are able to pick up smartass sarcasm when it's posted (re:my original post).

What are you doing posting in a thread about fake meat. You prey upon human beings and drink their blood for Christs sake.

motorfirebox

Pittsburgh, PA

March 2004

APR 22, 2008 10:01 PM

silversoul7 said:
No amount of genetic tinkering with either plants or animals will solve world hunger, because world hunger is not a matter of the availability of food. It's about the distribution of wealth, particularly natural resources. If you produce more food without addressing the maldistribution of resources, you're simply helping out the haves at the expense of the have-nots.

yeah, but alternative means of production can be used to solve distribution problems--even sociopolitical ones like those that keep large parts of the world hungry. for instance, if i invented a cow that eats undifferentiated biomass and shits hamburger patties (or tofu--science hearts you, vegans!), well, that could potentially be a big step towards ridding the world of hunger. rather than having to set up and maintain permanent lines of distribution, you could just airdrop herds of supercows into areas that need them. that's an extreme example that will never happen, obviously, but you get the idea.

Vanessa said:
And I'm so glad so many of you are able to pick up smartass sarcasm when it's posted (re:my original post).

hey, i'm a geek! someone presents me with a set of information that is incorrect or incomplete, i can't help spewing reams of factoids that nobody really wants to hear about. it's like bulls and red flags, only instead of stampeding over stupid tourists, i one-up people on the intratubes to show how cool i am!