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PETA: Creeping Me Out More

TUESDAY APRIL 22 2008 6:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: PETA, In Vitro Meat

Oh PETA, why so crazy? There is a way to fight for the rights of animals without sometimes looking like complete and total lunatics. In this latest episode of PETA creepiness, they want someone to make Frankenmeat.


The organization said it would announce plans on Monday for a $1 million prize to the “first person to come up with a method to produce commercially viable quantities of in vitro meat at competitive prices by 2012.”


Mmmm, daddy wants a big tub of meat. I’m trying to think of a type of food I’d rather eat less than meat created in a test tube and I’m at a loss. This also shows a total lack of understanding of meat eaters. Meat eaters aren’t creepy, bloodthirsty psychos; they just like meat and they don't care that animals have to die for their nourishment.

I can’t even begin to understand what PETA thinks they are going to accomplish with their in vitro meat contest. Wasting one million dollars is amazing, even for them – and it seems a bit off target. PETA's slogan is "animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment." So, I guess they think if they create some awesome fake meat in a lab, they will save animals. FAIL. Huge fail. Spectacular fail.

The decision is actually causing a PETA civil war. Soon the group may break into PFMPETA (Pro Fake Meat PETA) and AFMPETA (Against Fake Meat PETA). I guess some PETA members are not as crazy as I thought.


But, Ms. Newkirk said, the decision to sponsor a prize caused “a near civil war in our office,” since so many PETA members are repulsed by the thought of eating animal tissue, even if no animals are killed.

Lisa Lange, a vice president of the organization, said she was part of the heated exchange. “My main concern is, as the largest animal rights organization in the world, it’s our job to introduce the philosophy and hammer it home that animals are not ours to eat.” Ms. Lange added, “I remember saying I would be much more comfortable promoting eating roadkill.”


Let me re-phrase that. I guess some PETA members are crazier than I thought. Also, I don’t want to live in the world where one has to choose between eating roadkill or in vitro meat. Can’t I just have a banana?

If you are interested in the million dollars, you have to create laboratory chicken and sell it to the public by June 30, 2012. (Hi, arbitrary fake meat date.) The winner must also do the following:


• Produce an in vitro chicken-meat product that has a taste and texture indistinguishable from real chicken flesh to non-meat-eaters and meat-eaters alike.
• Manufacture the approved product in large enough quantities to be sold commercially, and successfully sell it at a competitive price in at least 10 states.


Why would non-meat eaters care about the taste and texture of chicken? Why not make a realistic lab vagina that feels natural for gay men? Actually, that’s a good idea. I’m offering one million for lab-grown vaginas – and I want them created in bulk and sold at competitive rates to real vaginas in 17 states.

I am no fan of meat. Beef farms are the worst things on the face of the Earth for the environment. The volume of waste they produce and the amount of water consumed is astounding. The beef produced is full of hormones and toxins. But the solution is not lab meat - I actually find that less appealing than toxin filled meat. The solution is to not eat meat.

I am horrified by the idea of giant labs pumping out huge slabs of juicy, fake meat. It is a future I want no part of. I will do everything in my power to free the slave meat, if that day ever comes. Please join FIVSMOD (Free In Vitro Slave Meat Or Die) before it is too late.

 

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AmbientLight

AmbientLight

Huntington Beach, CA
March 2005

APR 22, 2008 06:18 AM

Agreed, the solution is not to eat meat.

I could just see the same labs producing
fake meat and human replacement parts.

"Soylent Green is people!"


But... lab-grown... vaginas... ?
I think I won't go there.

Bev_Antain

Bev_Antain

Italy
February 2004

APR 22, 2008 06:32 AM

PETA is sure getting weirder each day. I'm sure one day we'll hear about PETA Kamikazes blowing themselves up at a KFC.
Whatever, there is no way though I'll be eating in vitro meat or stop eating meat for the matter. If it comes down to a PETA victory with killing animals for anything, especially food, being outlawed I'm sure I'll become a cannibal and start by eating them first...after all I like the taste of chicken and supposedly we taste like something similar.

MisterLinguist

MisterLinguist

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

APR 22, 2008 06:36 AM

AmbientLight said:
Agreed, the solution is not to eat meat.

It's like going from 100 to 0.

MrKingMob

MrKingMob

Chicago, IL
January 2003

APR 22, 2008 06:37 AM

At the risk of stating what I feel to be obvious here, PETA's lab meat contest seems to have been initiated under the pretense that a vast majority of meat-eating people on the planet will never willingly go without meat.

So, while I agree a more direct approach is for people to not eat animals - be it lab meat or traditionally raised animals - they're working on a more realistic scenario than getting people to not kill animals for food.

Now pass me the FrankenMuff.

LeBoucanier

LeBoucanier

Turners Station, KY
February 2004

APR 22, 2008 06:41 AM

Or, the solution is to eat locally grown and processed meat, such as offered by a CSA program, or from a local butcher.
The decision is not just "eat factory meat or no meat at all"- for those who choose to be omnivores but don't want to support the meat industry, track down your local supply where you can guarantee the source. They're out there.


otherwise, just eat bananas. wink

coyotemike

coyotemike

Tuvalu
May 2006

APR 22, 2008 06:42 AM

PETA's slogan is "animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or use for entertainment."



Makes you wonder what PETA thinks of lolcats.

Why couldn't PETA just stick to the nude ads and protests? Those got attention. Those made people think. Well, not really, but they were entertaining.

Wait . . . people are animals too . . . and they can't use animals for entertainment . . . so if I was entertained by the naked ads then PETA broke their own rules!! HYPOCRITES!

I'm not fond of store-bought meat at all. Fresh from a small family farm, where I know (and helped with) the raising practices, know the animals weren't treated cruely, and where I helped prepare the meat . . .I'm ok with that. But that has more to do with the grocery stores than with PETA, so I guess this is a tangent. And I'm ok with that tongue

Tiwaz

Tiwaz

Germany
July 2006

APR 22, 2008 06:45 AM

I think it's a cool idea. You get to eat meat without killing animals. It's a win-win scenario as far as I'm concerned. My only issues would be 1) it has to have the same texture and taste 2) it's healthy and natural (I don't want to die of weird cloning chemicals or put myself at unnecessary risk) 3) it's cost effective. Barring those issues I could give a shit and would eat it with pleasure, what the fuck is the difference except the reduction of suffering? Anyway, I don't get the big deal.

I also don't understand why it's such a big deal for PETAENS. No animals suffer, thus it's animal friendly. If you don't want to eat flesh then don't; would you rather have people continue to eat animals or eat lab produced meat? Those who choose the former my friends, are fucking retarded. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

J24U

J24U

Danvers, MA
February 2006

APR 22, 2008 07:33 AM

Ya know, if they filled the lab vats with a nice marinade to grow the franken-meat in, I might give it a shot.

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

APR 22, 2008 08:30 AM

They need to make up their minds.

-TM

commonman

commonman

Sarasota, FL
August 2003

APR 22, 2008 09:14 AM

This is just weird. I already eat textured soy protein in the shape of hamburgers, sausages and chicken patties. The hamburgers don't taste much like meat, but the chicken and sausages are actually pretty close.

It would make more sense, both ethically and environmentally, to come up with ways to make plant-based foods that have a texture and taste that is closer to meat. The food would be healthier and have less environmental impact.

Besides, who but Cargill and ADM would have the resources to "grow" in vitro meat, anyway? Why perpetuate an unworkable agribusiness model? Why not just support free-range chicken, grass-fed beef, and sustainable pork?

In vitro meat just sounds like another version of a CAFO. Bad, bad PETA! No tofu for you!

sitar

sitar

Philadelphia, PA
June 2004

APR 22, 2008 09:21 AM

but the had an ad campaign with our nekkid chicks?
how could they be bad?

srsly, though, that's grosser than hufo (tofu that tastes like humans)

baudot

baudot

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

APR 22, 2008 09:33 AM

Test tube grown meat sounds like a decent idea to me. *shrug*.

Proven safe and on sale for competitive prices by 2012, though? Not going to happen. And nice work on picking the mayan end-of-days as your deadline, PETA.

Skywisdom

Skywisdom

Portland, OR
December 2005

APR 22, 2008 09:37 AM

baudot said:
Test tube grown meat sounds like a decent idea to me. *shrug*.

Proven safe and on sale for competitive prices by 2012, though? Not going to happen. And nice work on picking the mayan end-of-days as your deadline, PETA.



http://suicidegirls.com/news/culture/22979/

ShandyLouHoo

ShandyLouHoo

Petaluma, CA
August 2006

APR 22, 2008 09:44 AM

I was a vegetarian for many years before I gave in and started eating chicken and fish again (it's still rare when I eat red meat, pardon the pun) and I never once thought to myself, "Hey, why don't we come up with meat that's sorta real, but still pretty fake!" My average thought was always, "Hm, do I want tofu or vegetarian fake meats, like Boca or Morningstar Farms." The idea of someone playing around in a tube and then trying to make me eat what's in it just seems wrong. Who knows what it might take to make all this in vitro meat they want. There could end up being more toxins and hormones in it than in red meat. Mmm... Yeah, let's poison our bodies slowly with fake meat... YUM!

jason

jason

USA
August 2002

APR 22, 2008 09:49 AM

next thing you know lesbians will be using plastic penises on each other.

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