BLOG VIEW  |  HEADLINE VIEW
SUBMIT NEWS  |  RSS FEED  |  SEARCH

Welcome. Are you prepared to read about this week’s worst human beings on the face of the Earth? Some people can’t handle it. Last week was a prime example. So, if you can’t – back your shit up now. Over the hundreds of years my people have been doing the Asshole Fuckface Roundup, many weak people have come to understand it is too intense for their baby pants. After the first Asshole Fuckface of all time, Jan Pieterszoon Coen, was revealed, many people cried like children.

In 1621, Jan Pieterszoon Coen was the newly appointed Dutch governor-general of The Banda Islands. Coen forced the leading citizens, called the orang kava, to sign a treaty at gunpoint. The treaty was structured so that the orang kava could not hold up their end. Once a couple of violations were noted, Coen massacred the Bandanese as punishment. He hired Japanese mercenaries, who cut off the heads of forty orang kava and displayed their heads on spears. Then they went about massacring the locals.

When Coen began the massacre, there were around 13,000 people living on Banda. By the time the massacre was finished, only 1,000 Bandanese were left. They all became slaves. Turns out the Dutch needed a few Bandanese as laborers because of their expertise in nutmeg cultivation. Ever since The Banda Massacre, my people have been pointing out Asshole Fuckfaces, so you can know whom to hate. It’s not pretty, so put on your rubber raincoat and prepare yourself for the worst of the worst.

My first Asshole Fuckface is a "performance artist." Normally I detest the use of quotes to undermine someone's trade, but in this case it is very appropriate.

Meet Jonathan Yegge. He’s a 24-year-old student at the San Francisco Art Institute, who apparently confuses art with being a complete moron. Last week, one of his professors, Tony Labat, asked Yegge to enlighten his fellow performance art students with a piece. Yegge hatched a brilliant idea.

First he asked for a volunteer from the class. Then he had the poor bastard sign a “contract” saying he agreed to participate in a performance piece that would include sexual and violent acts. Now, obviously the volunteer is a fucking moron. But that does not excuse what happened next.


Yegge led the volunteer out into a campus public area, in front of Labat's class and anyone else who happened by…

"He was tied up. He had a blindfold and a gag, but he could see and talk through it. He had freedom of movement of his pelvis," Yegge says, by way of defending his piece. "I engaged in oral sex with him and he engaged in oral sex with me. I had given him an enema, and I had taken a shit and stuffed it in his ass. That goes on, he shits all over me, I shit in him. There was a security guard present. There was an instructor from the school present. It was videoed, and the piece was over."


First of all, I didn’t even know you could take a shit and shove it in someone else’s ass. Congrats on breaking new ground, so to speak. You really took shit to a new level. Fantastic. You know who would have loved this? Michelangelo. He always wanted to blow a dude, give him an enema and then cram his shit into the dude’s anus – while in The Sistine Chapel.

Apparently the volunteer is a little bummed.


"He was pissed off, as he should be," says Ryan Castaneda, a friend of the volunteer. "He felt he was being violated. He just didn't think this was cool."


Uh, saying this was not cool is the understatement of the year. The volunteer complained to school officials – because another student shoved shit into his asshole. Man, I miss college!

Yegge is now on academic probation and is no longer allowed to have public sex on campus.


"If I have to not have sex on campus anymore, they'd better put that in the student handbook, and then we can decide whether that's an appropriate rule or not," says Yegge. "I mean, I'm on probation, and I can't have sex on campus, and anyone else can."


Way to get the point. You’re more of an Asshole Fuckface than I thought. Also, you’re not very good at sex.

Professor Labat was not impressed with the art.


"It was plain bad art," says Labat. "This was irresponsible in any context. It made me wonder why anyone would want to do a story about it. Why would anyone be interested in anything as basic as that? Nobody should be interested in that."


Really? You don’t know why anyone would want to do a story on public blow job/enema/shit fest? Have you ever met another human being?

Labat also neglected to mention that Yegge explaining the piece to him before it was performed. Oh, and he sat and watched it being performed. I’m going to take a wild guess and say that blowing a dude, giving him an enema, then shoving you shit into his ass takes a little while. Probably long enough to stop it.

The school is now, obviously, concerned about a lawsuit. Oh, and the volunteer’s mom is a judge.

Next up, Israeli Asshole Fuckfacery.

Jimmy Carter announced last week that he was going to meet with Hamas in an attempt to gauge “the group's willingness to accept Arab peace overtures.” It’s the kind of thing one might do if they want peace. You actually don’t get peace by never talking to your enemy. Crazy, huh?

Shin Bet is the Israeli security force that helps to protect visiting dignitaries. But they decided to take a pass on protecting Carter.


Israel's secret service declined to assist U.S. agents guarding former U.S. President Jimmy Carter during a visit in which Israeli leaders shunned him over his plans to meet Hamas, U.S. sources said on Monday.

"They're not getting support from local security," one of the sources said, on condition of anonymity.


Bold move. Really taking a stance there. Should work out great for you if Carter gets killed.

Carter pissed off Israelis when he described Israel’s policy in the occupied territories as "a system of apartheid" in a book two years ago. And then he says he wants to meet with Hamas. So, obviously he should die.

Sadly for Israel, Carter survived the meeting yesterday.

Maybe next time, huh?

Next up, Australia reveals past Asshole Fuckfacery.

This week we learned that that the Australian government performed some heinous acts on aboriginal children during the '20s and '30s. Australia is holding a Senate inquiry this week to determine how to compensate the “stolen generation” of aboriginal kids who were taken from their families and placed with whites. Now we find out they also used the kids as guinea pigs and injected them with leprosy serums. That’s some "Class A" Asshole Fuckfacery.


Ms. Mills said children held at a compound in Darwin were injected with serums designed to be used in the treatment of leprosy – a practice which seriously damaged their health. Her uncle, who worked there as a medical orderly, had told her about the sinister goings-on.

"He said it made our people very, very ill. The treatment almost killed them," she told reporters outside the hearing. "It was a common experience and a common practice."


Come on, how else were they supposed to find a cure for white people?

Many in Australia don’t believe the accusation and records to support the claim may be difficult to obtain – mostly because they contain information about using aboriginals as human guinea pigs. Who’s going to leave that lying around or dig it up?

Australia’s health minister has ordered an investigation into the claim. Good luck with that.

My final Asshole Fuckface has the worst alibi of all time.

Things have not been going well for the Republican commissioner of Cumberland County in Pennsylvania lately. Late last month, Bruce Barclay was accused of rape – by another man. That isn’t the kind of thing that the religious right expects.

Bruce was forced to retire and was fighting to keep his ass out of prison. Thankfully, he had made tapes of himself fucking tons and tons of dudes. All with hidden cameras. Yay!


On March 31st, police, investigating the allegation of rape by the 20-year-old Marshall McCurdy, obtained a warrant to search Barclay's home. They didn't find evidence of rape. But they did find videotapes of hundreds of sexual encounters with men that Barclay had filmed on high-tech surveillance cameras.


Turns out Bruce was hiring prostitutes from Harrisburgfratboys.com and then banging them on camera without their knowledge. I like to call that “Thursday night,” myself.


The cameras were hidden inside AM/FM radios, motion detectors and intercom speaker systems, among other places.


Thankfully, one of the illegal tapes showed the rape accuser engaging is consensual sex. Take that?


On April 10th, the rape charges were dropped. One of the videos found during the search showed Barclay and McCurdy engaging in apparently consensual sex.


No rape charges! Ha! But now Bruce may be facing privacy violations and promoting prostitution charges. And the rape accuser is looking at three years in jail for making false reports to police.

So, it’s a happy ending for everyone.

Congrats to all of this week's Asshole Fuckfaces! You each win a FearTheReaper cape!

 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

 ... 7

Next

emotedcreations

emotedcreations

Germany
July 2006

APR 22, 2008 03:18 AM

UpTight said:

attn_ho said:
excuse me mister uptight, your icon says 'jail carter' what law has he broken?



Possibly the Logan Act

or maybe you just need a new law

The Logan Act as I understand it prevents people from negotiating FOR the US (i.e. Carter would arguably be in violation if he tried to broker a peace deal between the US and Hamas). The Act doesn't limit peoples ability to broker negotiations between two states that don't involve the US directly. I know, I know, it pisses Bush off that Carter is trying to undermine his policy of war in the Middle East, but oh well. That's how I understand it anyway.

As far as a new law, why would you want to make it illegal for people to try to broker peace negotiations? He's got no authority to make any deals, and in the end Israel and Hamas would have to agree of their own volition. He's just acting as a mediator, he's not undermining US foreign policy as he's no longer a member of the government. He's just trying to help out international relations as a private citizen.

Anyway, I'm sure you'll respond with something snide, I'm not holding my breath.

UpTight

UpTight

I'm lost
December 2003

APR 22, 2008 03:52 AM

emotedcreations said:

UpTight said:

attn_ho said:
excuse me mister uptight, your icon says 'jail carter' what law has he broken?



Possibly the Logan Act

or maybe you just need a new law

The Logan Act as I understand it prevents people from negotiating FOR the US (i.e. Carter would arguably be in violation if he tried to broker a peace deal between the US and Hamas). The Act doesn't limit peoples ability to broker negotiations between two states that don't involve the US directly. I know, I know, it pisses Bush off that Carter is trying to undermine his policy of war in the Middle East, but oh well. That's how I understand it anyway.

As far as a new law, why would you want to make it illegal for people to try to broker peace negotiations? He's got no authority to make any deals, and in the end Israel and Hamas would have to agree of their own volition. He's just acting as a mediator, he's not undermining US foreign policy as he's no longer a member of the government. He's just trying to help out international relations as a private citizen.

Anyway, I'm sure you'll respond with something snide, I'm not holding my breath.



I never respond with "something snide", if what you've offered is well-reasoned, polite debate.

I rarely even attack people who post things like "retard" - and even when I do I am more condescending than snide.

re the logan act -
I would say that it's down to interpretation. I could say that Carter's actions do involve the United States because he's only there on the basis of his former office. You could say he's a private citizen and not negotiating on behalf of the US. I could say that it amounts to the same thing, but either way it does undermine foreign policy.

I'm not just against this because I'm pro-Bush. It's a non partisan issue. It's a general issue. If any president has a clearly stated position, it fucks with the authority given to him by public mandate to have a predecessor sitting at negotiating tables, offering a contrary position.

You may not like Bush, but America did vote for him and it should be his policy at negotiating tables - not Bush Senior's policy, Not Clinton's, not Carter's and not Gary Fucking Busey's policy.

Aside from any diplomatic confusion and obstruction, it's about respect for the President.

And if "Former President George W Bush" eventually runs around the world (on tax payers money) undermining the policy of incumbent president Hillary Clinton, I'd slam that, too.

I might not call for his jailing, but I'm sure people would. We all make partisan statements and I really, REALLY hate Carter.

emotedcreations

emotedcreations

Germany
July 2006

APR 22, 2008 06:22 AM

UpTight said:
I never respond with "something snide", if what you've offered is well-reasoned, polite debate.

I rarely even attack people who post things like "retard" - and even when I do I am more condescending than snide.

Well, I apologize for my comment then.

re the logan act -
I would say that it's down to interpretation. I could say that Carter's actions do involve the United States because he's only there on the basis of his former office. You could say he's a private citizen and not negotiating on behalf of the US. I could say that it amounts to the same thing, but either way it does undermine foreign policy.

Certainly, if you believe he's there on the behalf of the US, you could say he's undermining foreign policy. But how can you argue that if we take the position that he's there as a private citizen? If he's not there on part of the state department nothing he says or does could be interpreted as official US policy. It's just one man trying to help the peace process.

I'm not just against this because I'm pro-Bush. It's a non partisan issue. It's a general issue. If any president has a clearly stated position, it fucks with the authority given to him by public mandate to have a predecessor sitting at negotiating tables, offering a contrary position.

What's the stated position exactly? That Hamas is a terrorist organization and shouldn't be recognized? Or that he's trying to isolate Hamas? Can't Israel make up it's own mind? Just because Carter talks to Hamas, doesn't mean they're not still isolated from official diplomatic relations. If he has not authority, then they're still isolated regardless of whether or not he's an ex-president. If the president doesn't recognize Carter's actions, they don't recognize them--bottom line. I don't understand why they just can't say, Carter does not represent US interests and be done with it. Why try to condemn him and make him look like this horrible person. He's just trying to make the world a better place. It's not like he's trying to instigate conflict or war.

You may not like Bush, but America did vote for him and it should be his policy at negotiating tables - not Bush Senior's policy, Not Clinton's, not Carter's and not Gary Fucking Busey's policy.

Aside from any diplomatic confusion and obstruction, it's about respect for the President.

And if "Former President George W Bush" eventually runs around the world (on tax payers money) undermining the policy of incumbent president Hillary Clinton, I'd slam that, too.

I might not call for his jailing, but I'm sure people would. We all make partisan statements and I really, REALLY hate Carter.

I guess I just can't see it as anything other than a private citizen trying to facilitate a peace agreement. He has no authority as a diplomat, so there's no reason why Hamas should see this any other way. I'm sure they're not sitting there going "hey, Carter is an ex president and he held talks, I guess Bush no longer is trying to isolate us." If anything, they met with him knowing full well it would piss off Bush and his administration.

Also, and this is kinda an aside, when you have a country that is so hopelessly divided this type of activity could be viewed as a pressure valve. You have an administration that's so hostile toward the world, it's like a way of letting people know "hey, we don't all think that way." I might be more convinced if America was unified behind Bush and his policies, and this was some rogue ex-President trying to undermine them for the sake of causing trouble. Carter's actions are clearly well intentioned.

Bottom line, you're going to have a very hard time convincing me that someone is wrong when they are trying to promote peace no matter who they are or what the context.

I know you hate Carter, so I doubt I'm going to be able to convince you that his trip was benign.

xo_b_mac

xo_b_mac

Markham, ON
June 2007

APR 22, 2008 06:36 PM

Fuck....we should send some of the fellow commentors over to talk with them! With all these proposals and ideas they'll be living in a utopia before we know it! surreal biggrin kiss

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

APR 22, 2008 06:42 PM

UpTight said:

There has never been a country called Palestine. From 70AD until 1948, "Palestine" was simply a word that Europeans used for part of the Arabian Peninsula.



1936
zoom image

Just some guy making a poster about a place that did not exist. Got it.

ItsSoDamnHot

ItsSoDamnHot

I'm lost
April 2008

APR 24, 2008 10:52 PM

"Really? You don't know why anyone would want to do a story on public blow job/enema/shit fest? Have you ever met another human being?"

That's just really one of the greatest things I've ever read...... biggrin

UpTight

UpTight

I'm lost
December 2003

APR 25, 2008 02:55 PM

FearTheReaper said:

UpTight said:

There has never been a country called Palestine. From 70AD until 1948, "Palestine" was simply a word that Europeans used for part of the Arabian Peninsula.



1936
zoom image

Just some guy making a poster about a place that did not exist. Got it.




How does your poster contradict the one sentence you did picked out?

We in the west *did* call a bit of land "Palestine". We might as well have called it Nania and defined it as hexagon shaped for all the people living there were concerned.

They called the region "Greater Syria" until they figured out how to jerk the heartstrings of gullible lib-bots

MisterEnrolled

MisterEnrolled

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

APR 25, 2008 02:58 PM

UpTight said:

FearTheReaper said:

UpTight said:

There has never been a country called Palestine. From 70AD until 1948, "Palestine" was simply a word that Europeans used for part of the Arabian Peninsula.



1936
zoom image

Just some guy making a poster about a place that did not exist. Got it.



....confirming my suspicion that you can't read more than one sentence without retiring to your bath chair to masturbate and cry.


Elaborate why you think this.

UpTight

UpTight

I'm lost
December 2003

APR 26, 2008 12:38 AM

Narghile said:
Elaborate why you think this.



ha!

Caught me between edits.

see above

Uncognitive

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY
May 2003

APR 26, 2008 12:39 PM

UpTight said:
There has never been a country called Palestine. From 70AD until 1948, "Palestine" was simply a word that Europeans used for part of the Arabian Peninsula.



Gosh, so Palestine has only been considered a separate country for sixty years? Wow, then fuck those ungrateful Palestinians! Obviously they are unaware of the very strict standards by which a country becomes a "real country", as well-established by the Irrelevant Bullshit You Pulled Out Of Your Ass Institute!

UpTight said:
Here's my solution.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Since the Arabs are selling the idea of an oppressed, dispossessed Palestinian Nation, and since the world is buying into it. I propose giving the Palestinians a huge chunk of Historical Palestine.

Part of the beauty of this plan is that neither the Israelis, not the Palestinians would lose out.

Both would get extra land and both could live in the region traditionally associated with Israel & Palestine. And no - I'm suggesting building a new country on stilts above the old one!

Under my plan, the Israelis would keep all of the traditional Jewish lands located to West of the River Jordan - including current Israeli territory, all of Jerusalem & the Judea/Samaria region ("the West Bank").

Gaza could remain a Hamas's pet "Lord of the Flies" area until they get fed up being ostracized as terrorists and living under territorial lock and key.

The plan would mean the PLO ceding ares already under their administration, but for what they get in return it would be worth it. Plus, losing the West Bank shouldn't be too much of a drag as they already relinquished any claim to it and Gaza in their 1964 Charter:

"Article 24: This Organization does not exercise any territorial sovereignty over the West Bank in the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, on the Gaza Strip or in the Himmah Area."


Fine - so what about the Palestinians? What do they get? Where's their large chunk of historical Palestine?

It's on the EAST Bank of the Jordan.

Nuh?

Isn't that the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan?

Yes - but only since 1922. Before that it was part of the area we knew as "Palestine". (reference)

Many people in the West think that "Palestine" was merely the former name of Israel. In fact the word related to a much wider region.

The word "Palestine" was given to the region by the Romans. They did this to disassociate Jews from their traditional lands. Gone went words like "Judea", "Samaria" and "Israel" - in came "Palaestina". The Jews were largely kicked out, and centuries later in came the Arab legions of Mohammed.

They of course had their own names for the region and by the time the area was liberated from the Ottoman Empire the whole Israel/Syria/Lebanon/Iraq region was known as Bilad al Sham (or simply Greater Syria).

We, in the West kept calling it Palestine, but it was only between the years 1922 and 1948 that "Palestine" did not include a large chunk of land on the East Bank of the River Jordan - stretching as far as the current Jordanian capital Amman.

I suggest giving the Palestinians "back" this part of the Palestine region. It is currently ruled by the Hashemites - a tribe from Saudi Arabia.

The East Bank is perfect for the new Palestine. The population are, by a large majority, Palestinians. The land was traditionally part of "Palestine". The River forms a natural border. This is important because the current proposals for Gaza and parts of the West Bank form an unmanageable sandwich, with Israel in the Middle and checkpoints galore.

Giving the Palestinians the East Bank will enable them to start afresh with a definite, consolidated homeland, clear borders and no messy blurring of the lines.

The Hashemites could keep the territory to the East & South of what is currently their territory, or could form an alliance with the Palestinians. That's up to them to sort out.

Of course Hamas won't go for this. Why? Because they aren't in it for a "Palestinian National Homeland". They merely want to recapture all the lands previously conquered by Muslims. Which, by the way, also includes parts of Italy and Spain.

Still, if the West continues to freeze them out and gets rid of any distractions that could embolden those theocratic imperialist terrorists (e.g. Jimmy Carter's passport), perhaps a deal could be arranged between Israel, Jordan and the Palestinian Authority.



Yes, of course it'd only be Hamas who'd object to that plan.

I'm sure Israel would have no objections to introducing a huge number of brand new Arab-Israeli citizens that would through pure demographics cause a radical shift in the government of Israel. Of course, unless your genius plan involves simply giving all of post-1948 Palestine to Israel without any conditions towards the rights of the non-Israelis living there. I mean, who needs human rights when you can keep those pesky Arabs separated in their own neat little Bantustans!

And yeah, I'm sure Jordan would just jump at the chance to give up a chunk of the land they've had since around 1922 or so, since once again, becoming a country in the 20th Century is so gauche or something. Because, hey, if history teaches us anything, it's that Jordan just gets along so very well with their Palestinian pals. Maybe the UN, or a magic army of talking unicorns could convince them how awesome your plan is.

Hey, wanna hear my awesome plan for peace in Northern Ireland? England would annex all of Ireland and any Irish Catholics who didn't like it could be relocated to Greenland! Of course, I bet those gosh-darned meanie Catholics won't like my awesome genius plan that would give them all this free land and stuff.

UpTight

UpTight

I'm lost
December 2003

APR 28, 2008 08:27 AM

Uncognitive said:

UpTight said:
There has never been a country called Palestine. From 70AD until 1948, "Palestine" was simply a word that Europeans used for part of the Arabian Peninsula.



Gosh, so Palestine has only been considered a separate country for sixty years? Wow, then fuck those ungrateful Palestinians! Obviously they are unaware of the very strict standards by which a country becomes a "real country", as well-established by the Irrelevant Bullshit You Pulled Out Of Your Ass Institute!



Once again: Palestine is not a separate country. Palestine has never been a country.

Once again : Palestine was a foreign word for a foreign-defined region. The whole "Palestine" schtick was only adopted by the Arabs in the early 1960's for political purposes.

Once again, the words of PLO executive Zahir Muhsein (as given in a 1974 interview to Dutch Trouw):

"The Palestinian people does not exist. The creation of a Palestinian state is only a means for continuing our struggle against the state of Israel for our Arab unity. In reality today there is no difference between Jordanians, Palestinians, Syrians and Lebanese. Only for political and tactical reasons do we speak today about the existence of a Palestinian people, since Arab national interests demand that we posit the existence of a distinct 'Palestinian people' to oppose Zionism. "



Got that?


UpTight said:
Here's my solution.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Since the Arabs are selling the idea of an oppressed, dispossessed Palestinian Nation, and since the world is buying into it. I propose giving the Palestinians a huge chunk of Historical Palestine.

Part of the beauty of this plan is that neither the Israelis, not the Palestinians would lose out.

Both would get extra land and both could live in the region traditionally associated with Israel & Palestine. And no - I'm suggesting building a new country on stilts above the old one!

Under my plan, the Israelis would keep all of the traditional Jewish lands located to West of the River Jordan - including current Israeli territory, all of Jerusalem & the Judea/Samaria region ("the West Bank").

Gaza could remain a Hamas's pet "Lord of the Flies" area until they get fed up being ostracized as terrorists and living under territorial lock and key.

The plan would mean the PLO ceding ares already under their administration, but for what they get in return it would be worth it. Plus, losing the West Bank shouldn't be too much of a drag as they already relinquished any claim to it and Gaza in their 1964 Charter:

"Article 24: This Organization does not exercise any territorial sovereignty over the West Bank in the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan, on the Gaza Strip or in the Himmah Area."


Fine - so what about the Palestinians? What do they get? Where's their large chunk of historical Palestine?

It's on the EAST Bank of the Jordan.

Nuh?

Isn't that the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan?

Yes - but only since 1922. Before that it was part of the area we knew as "Palestine". (reference)

Many people in the West think that "Palestine" was merely the former name of Israel. In fact the word related to a much wider region.

The word "Palestine" was given to the region by the Romans. They did this to disassociate Jews from their traditional lands. Gone went words like "Judea", "Samaria" and "Israel" - in came "Palaestina". The Jews were largely kicked out, and centuries later in came the Arab legions of Mohammed.

They of course had their own names for the region and by the time the area was liberated from the Ottoman Empire the whole Israel/Syria/Lebanon/Iraq region was known as Bilad al Sham (or simply Greater Syria).

We, in the West kept calling it Palestine, but it was only between the years 1922 and 1948 that "Palestine" did not include a large chunk of land on the East Bank of the River Jordan - stretching as far as the current Jordanian capital Amman.

I suggest giving the Palestinians "back" this part of the Palestine region. It is currently ruled by the Hashemites - a tribe from Saudi Arabia.

The East Bank is perfect for the new Palestine. The population are, by a large majority, Palestinians. The land was traditionally part of "Palestine". The River forms a natural border. This is important because the current proposals for Gaza and parts of the West Bank form an unmanageable sandwich, with Israel in the Middle and checkpoints galore.

Giving the Palestinians the East Bank will enable them to start afresh with a definite, consolidated homeland, clear borders and no messy blurring of the lines.

The Hashemites could keep the territory to the East & South of what is currently their territory, or could form an alliance with the Palestinians. That's up to them to sort out.

Of course Hamas won't go for this. Why? Because they aren't in it for a "Palestinian National Homeland". They merely want to recapture all the lands previously conquered by Muslims. Which, by the way, also includes parts of Italy and Spain.

Still, if the West continues to freeze them out and gets rid of any distractions that could embolden those theocratic imperialist terrorists (e.g. Jimmy Carter's passport), perhaps a deal could be arranged between Israel, Jordan and the Palestinian Authority.



Yes, of course it'd only be Hamas who'd object to that plan.



Well that depends. Islamists are not after a Palestinian state. They want to rebuild the great Islamic Caliphate of yesteryear.

Pan-Arab nationalists (if they still exist) don't give a fuck about a Palestinian state either.

I'm sure Israel would have no objections to introducing a huge number of brand new Arab-Israeli citizens that would through pure demographics cause a radical shift in the government of Israel. Of course, unless your genius plan involves simply giving all of post-1948 Palestine to Israel without any conditions towards the rights of the non-Israelis living there. I mean, who needs human rights when you can keep those pesky Arabs separated in their own neat little Bantustans!



did you read my plan?

I want to create a Palestinian state on the EAST Bank of the River Jordan. This was land that the British gave to the Hashemite tribe from Saudi Arabia in return for a military favour. It is now part of Jordan, but if you subscribe to the Western mythology of "Palestine", it was part of Palestine and it has a 70% Palestinian population.

Build the fucking place in Jordan and leave Israel alone!

And yeah, I'm sure Jordan would just jump at the chance to give up a chunk of the land they've had since around 1922 or so, since once again, becoming a country in the 20th Century is so gauche or something. Because, hey, if history teaches us anything, it's that Jordan just gets along so very well with their Palestinian pals. Maybe the UN, or a magic army of talking unicorns could convince them how awesome your plan is.



"Palestine and Jordan are one..." Jordanian King Abdullah, 1948.

"The truth is that Jordan is Palestine and Palestine is Jordan," Jordanian King Hussein of Jordan, 1981.

Besides, with my plan everyone ends up with land. It's fair. It's logical and the only alternative is years more bloodshed.

Hey, wanna hear my awesome plan for peace in Northern Ireland? England would annex all of Ireland and any Irish Catholics who didn't like it could be relocated to Greenland! Of course, I bet those gosh-darned meanie Catholics won't like my awesome genius plan that would give them all this free land and stuff.



Interesting, but dumb analogy. Greenland was never part of Ireland. Jordan was part of Palestine (if you subscribe to "Palestine")

In 1920, 79% of British Mandate Palestine was given to the Arabs. Ruled by the Hashemites but with a majority Palestinian Arab population, it eventually became the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan.

The Jordanians kicked out the Jews and kept the land exclusively for the Arabs.

The remaining 21% became Israel - which the Jews share with the Arabs.

So out of which part of 1920 "Palestine" should a new Arab state be built from?

1) The 79% exclusively Arab part that is ruled over by a Saudi tribe
2) The 21% off-cut that the Jews share with the Arabs.

Let me guess..."Fuck the Jew - Number Two"

Here's an interesting point to mull over. When you consider that Russia has killed hundreds of thousands - possibly millions of Muslim Chechens and America has killed hundreds of thousands of Muslims in various places across the world and Ba'athists have killed millions of Muslims in Syria and Iraq and Turkey & Iraq have denied a homeland to the Kurds, why do you think Israel is public enemy number 1 for Muslims across the world?

Israel's on-going tit-for-tat war with Palestinian terrorists is NOTHING compared to other actions going on across the Arab and Muslim world.

This whole thing is not about a Palestinian state (like they'd care less). It isn't about killing Muslims (like they'd give a shit).

It's because of two things:

1) Antisemitism and 2) Because they believe Mohammed flew to Jerusalem on a magic horse.

These are the real reasons why Islamists and Arab Imperialists hate Israel. It is these reasons that Neo-Nazis play along with and leftists turn a blind eye to.

You can too - if you want to further the agenda of racist, religious maniacs.

I believe in calling their bluff. If they want "Palestine", they'll take an East Bank solution. If they want to kill the Jews and seize the Jew's holy city, then they should fucking be honest enough to own up to their agenda and let the world decide whether they support it.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

APR 28, 2008 08:38 AM

YOU CANNOT ARGUE WITH A POINT WHEN IT IS TYPED IN ALL CAPS. TYPING IN ALL CAPS MAKES IT TRUE.

UpTight

UpTight

I'm lost
December 2003

APR 28, 2008 08:41 AM

Subrosa said:
YOU CANNOT ARGUE WITH A POINT WHEN IT IS TYPED IN ALL CAPS. TYPING IN ALL CAPS MAKES IT TRUE.



YOU CAN'T IGNORE A POINT BY POSTING WITH BANAL NETIQUETTE TIPS

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

APR 28, 2008 08:42 AM

UpTight said:

Subrosa said:
YOU CANNOT ARGUE WITH A POINT WHEN IT IS TYPED IN ALL CAPS. TYPING IN ALL CAPS MAKES IT TRUE.



YOU CAN'T IGNORE A POINT BY POSTING WITH BANAL NETIQUETTE TIPS



JUST WATCH ME.

Uncognitive

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY
May 2003

APR 28, 2008 08:56 AM

UpTight said:
Once again: Palestine is not a separate country. Palestine has never been a country.



Except when the 1948 UN resolution that created Israel also created a non-Jordanian independent Arab state called Palestine.

UpTight said:

I'm sure Israel would have no objections to introducing a huge number of brand new Arab-Israeli citizens that would through pure demographics cause a radical shift in the government of Israel. Of course, unless your genius plan involves simply giving all of post-1948 Palestine to Israel without any conditions towards the rights of the non-Israelis living there. I mean, who needs human rights when you can keep those pesky Arabs separated in their own neat little Bantustans!



did you read my plan?

I want to create a Palestinian state on the EAST Bank of the River Jordan. This was land that the British gave to the Hashemite tribe from Saudi Arabia in return for a military favour. It is now part of Jordan, but if you subscribe to the Western mythology of "Palestine", it was part of Palestine and it has a 70% Palestinian population.

Build the fucking place in Jordan and leave Israel alone!



Since you completely ignored my point, I'll rephrase it for you to ignore again:In your fantasy plan what happens to the current population of Gaza and the West Bank when Israel annexes that land?

Do they become Israeli citizens? Does the IDF or UN-backed troops force them to relocate? Do they stay in some legal twilight of non-citizenship under the control of the Israeli government?

All of those options have the very real potential to lead to violence and human rights abuses.

UpTight said:
"Palestine and Jordan are one..." Jordanian King Abdullah, 1948.

"The truth is that Jordan is Palestine and Palestine is Jordan," Jordanian King Hussein of Jordan, 1981.

Besides, with my plan everyone ends up with land. It's fair. It's logical and the only alternative is years more bloodshed.



Explain to me how, exactly, Jordan is going to simply give up a huge chunk of land that it's ruled since the 1920's without any compensation, in order to both expand the borders of Israel and create a homeland for the Palestinians? And how you can completely ignore Black September in favor of two quotes as some magical assurance that unlike previously in their history, Jordan and Palestine will get along all peachy keen?

UpTight said:
In 1920, 79% of British Mandate Palestine was given to the Arabs. Ruled by the Hashemites but with a majority Palestinian Arab population, it eventually became the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan.

The Jordanians kicked out the Jews and kept the land exclusively for the Arabs.

The remaining 21% became Israel - which the Jews share with the Arabs.



Wrong.

So very, very wrong.

UN Resolution 181 divided post-1920 British Palestine into "independent Arab and Jewish States". It didn't "become Israel", it became Israel and Palestine. Since all of your other claims and your oh-so-brilliant "plan" stem from that very basic and probably intentional misunderstanding of the region's history, they're not really worth rebutting.

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

 ... 7

Next

Now Hear This

Last Comment 4 HR by orbro

Now Hear This

Last Comment 4 HR

There's like a half-hour of video here. You should do a vlog. More ...

Asshole Fuckface Roundup #74

Last Comment 5 HR

Parents who are accustomed to carrying guns around may not think anything of going into child-related... More ...

An Encounter With Jonathan Shaw's Narcisa

Last Comment 6 HR

thanx gurlz... u rrrrrule!! xx jonathan shaw and narcisa More ...

SuicideGirl: Bob

Bob

Terrible Woman's MySpace Alias Leads to Teen's Suicide.

Last Comment 21 HR

But, it's delivered poorly...really poorly. Unless, it's not a joke, in which case, it's a good place... More ...

Bail The Shit Out Of Detroit

Last Comment 11/30/08 by Shalome

Bail The Shit Out Of Detroit

Last Comment 11/30/08

Oh my fucking god. More ...

Filtering the Truth: Religion - Friend or Foe?

Last Comment 11/30/08

I'm just going to skip over the mass orgy that's going on and say my piece: I don't think religion is... More ...

SuicideGirls Interview: CSI Franchise creator: Anthony E. Zuiker
SuicideGirls Interview: David Lynch
SuicideGirls Interview: John Carpenter