I do not know what in the fuck Hillary Clinton is doing. There is no way she can legitimately win the Democratic nomination. Turns out, a long time ago some asshole invented math and because of math, Hillary cannot win. She is a dead lady walking, which makes her continuing campaign completely absurd.

Clinton has only one strategy at this point: Scare superdelegates into voting against Obama. Either because he’s black, or he knew a guy named Rezko, or he’s black, or he can’t win big states, or he’s black, or because he’s not white. Hillary’s minions are now actually attempting to rename superdelegates. They want them to be called “automatic delegates,” which is apparently more appetizing and will somehow, magically allow Democrats to view them as pleasant, instead of what they are: Undemocratic, party insider bullshit.

Wow, that’s retarded. And Rovian. Good luck with that.

Meanwhile, other delegates chosen directly by voters are not "automatic."

Yes, let’s check the signatures of 1 million voters. Great idea and not at all scumbaggery.

Here is where Hillary’s problem lies.

It’s called reality. The only way she can win the nomination, by getting more delegates and winning the popular vote, is to crush Obama in all the remaining primaries. She has yet to crush Obama in one state primary. He has crushed her in several.

Hillary has also been loudly proclaiming that the Florida and Michigan delegates should be counted. Obviously, she did not come to this brilliant conclusion until she won both states. Hillary also apparently does not remember signing this document:

Hillary’s not going to “participate,” but she’s going to fight for the delegates. Which, is kind of "participating" in the process. She even wants the delegates from Michigan seated, where she was the only name on the ballot and voters were not allowed to write in Obama’s name. That is apparently totally acceptable – especially so in Asshole World.

Obama’s people, obviously, say, “No.”

How about a re-vote? Or, how about we follow the rules that were agreed to ahead of the campaign? How about we act like adults? How about if one of the leading Democratic candidates doesn’t attempt to pull a bullshit move that reminds every voter of Bush’s tactics? Does that sound good?

Apparently not. Hillary’s campaign can’t survive a re-vote. It’s something her biggest supporters don’t understand. So, being incredibly intelligent, I will break it down for them.

Currently the popular vote looks like this:

Obama – 13,281,132
Clinton – 12,577,409

That is without Florida and Michigan. With those two rogue states, it looks like this:

Obama - 13,857,346
Clinton – 13,776,704

Obviously, that’s a big difference. Clinton narrows the lead to under 100,000 with Michigan and Florida counted. But what happens if there is a revote in both states? Uh oh, then Clinton is getting her ass kicked again.

If a revote is agreed to, suddenly Hillary can no longer tell her supporters she is within striking distance. Toss those totals out and she has to accept being down nearly 1 million votes. Considering right now her campaign is running on pure bullshit, she’d be fucked. Even her minions would be forced to recognize that she has failed. The 193 extra delegates Clinton claims are hers, suddenly are not and she looks like the beaten candidate that she is.

And no fucking way in hell can she ever do better that the original, bullshit primaries held in Florida and Michigan. She was the only person on the ballot in Michigan. Latest polls show a tied race in the giant mitten. Obama would gain in delegates and popular vote. In Florida, Edwards was still on the ballot and Obama did not campaign in the state. In every state Obama campaigns in, he drastically cuts Hillary’s lead. Obama only came away with 32% of the vote in Florida. He would obviously get more in a revote. That’s more delegates and more votes.

As of now, Michigan looks like it will have a June revote. I like to call it a re-primary, or a re-mary. Bad news for Clinton. It appears Florida will not have a re-mary and Senator Nelson is calling for the delegates to be seated, but only count as ½.

Nelson is a big Clinton supporter – so his plan is a big blow. A 19 delegate pick up is not what Hillary needs. Her peeps are not pleased.

Well, they’re going to. It’s just not going to be the one you want. Obama is playing this smart.

The Clinton campaign needs to keep people thinking that the Florida and Michigan’s first results will be counted, because that creates uncertainty. Her campaign cannot survive right now without uncertainty. As soon as a resolution is reached, Clinton is toast. She will no longer be able to convince supporters that she will have the lead in delegates or the popular vote when Democrats hold their convention. Superdelegates or “automatic delegates” will never take the suicidal route of reversing the people’s choice.

Hillary is done. She has been since Mini Super Tuesday. There is no way for her to win. I know this because I passed my grammar school math classes. Pack it the fuck in, crazy lady.