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  • THURSDAY MARCH 6 2008 6:00 AM

John McShit

I feel like with all the attention surrounding the Democratic primary, we have forgotten how horrible John McCain is as a potential president. Holy fucking shit is he bad. Seriously wrong about everything. A few months ago, I wrote a Pulitzer Award winning article titled, "Fuck John McCain." Now I am forced to update the list of reasons to not vote for this nearly dead creature and I have written an article with an equally genius and witty title.

Last week, Grandpa Ancient received the endorsement of crazy Texas evangelical pastor John Hagee. Hagee is the pure physical form of awful. He hates everything and loves to talk about it. Check out his beautiful description of the Catholic Church.



Ha ha. Good times. I totally want to invite this guy to a barbeque. Hagee was an endorsement McCain worked very hard to get. He did everything but blow Mr. Lunatic and it apparently worked. Kudos, Johnny, you’re in bed with pure hate.

A few years ago, John The Elder hated the religious right, now he loves them. The McCain of 1999 is dead. He was hollowed out and filled with the loving spirit of George Bush. From issue to issue, he has morphed to align with the worst president in the history of the United States.



Like most people, Time Worn McCain wants the George Bush economy to keep rolling on. Why wouldn’t he? This shit is awesome!


Behind the scenes, his campaign is searching for ways to pay for Sen. McCain's tax proposals. In addition to extending the Bush tax cuts, the 71-year-old candidate would slash the corporate income-tax rate from 35% to 25% at a cost to the Treasury of $100 billion a year, estimates Mr. Holtz-Eakin.

In all, his tax-cutting proposals could cost about $400 billion a year, according to estimates of the impact of different tax cuts by CBO and the McCain campaign. The cost will make it difficult for him to achieve his goal of balancing the budget by the end of his first term.


Oh, fuck yes! Why pay for anything? This fucker will keep on running with a totally unsound economic policy. Money out, no money in. What could go wrong? And the Time Worn Airman will also keep on keeping on with Bush’s fantastically unsuccessful Social Security plan.


“I’m totally in favor of personal savings accounts,” he says. When reminded that his Web site says something different, he says he will change the Web site. “As part of Social Security reform, I believe that private savings accounts are a part of it — along the lines that President Bush proposed.”


Shit yeah. Why would you want to separate yourself from the least popular president since the one who had to resign? Good work. May we call you Old Failure now, or later?




But, at least McCain has experience. And that’s what we need right now.


In early 1987, at the beginning of his first Senate term, McCain attended two meetings with federal banking regulators to discuss an investigation into Lincoln Savings and Loan, an Irvine, Calif., thrift owned by Arizona developer Charles Keating. Federal auditors were investigating Keating's banking practices, and Keating, fearful that the government would seize his S&L, sought intervention from a number of U.S. senators.

Keating raised money for McCain's two congressional campaigns in 1982 and 1984, and for McCain's 1986 Senate bid. By 1987, McCain campaigns had received $112,000 from Keating, his relatives, and his employees--the most received by any of the Keating Five.


In February 1991, the Senate Ethics Committee found McCain and guilty of nothing more than "poor judgment." He gave $112,000 to the US Treasury. Experience!

Mr. Barely Alive also authored an amendment that allowed companies making US military equipment to move jobs out of America. Yay! Go foreign countries! In 2003, McCain came up with this gem of an amendment.


S. 1050—Buy American rules traditionally have required that most U.S. military equipment, defense systems and components be manufactured in the United States. An amendment to the FY 2004 U.S. Department of Defense authorization bill weakened the Buy American requirements. The amendment, offered by Sen. John McCain (R–Ariz.), exempted defense goods from six European countries from Buy American requirements. It passed May 21, 2003, 50–48.


Hmm, I wonder what that will lead to...


The Air Force on Friday delivered a shock to storied American airplane builder The Boeing Co. by choosing a team of Northrop Grumman Corp. and Airbus parent EADS to build a new fleet of air-to-air refueling tankers -- a contract potentially worth $100 billion.


Grandpa Time responded to the contract by saying, “military decisions should not be about creating jobs.” Fuck, yeah. Hopefully you will keep America safe by taking away all our jobs. The number of Americans jobs that would have been created by the Boeing contract was 44,000. That’s 44,000 jobs the Old Man has already cost Americans – and he’s not even president yet.

Thankfully, Oldy McOlderson can run on the incredible success of the surge.


The U.S. has not only added 30,000 more troops in Iraq — it has essentially bribed the opposition, arming the very Sunni militants who only months ago were waging deadly assaults on American forces. To engineer a fragile peace, the U.S. military has created and backed dozens of new Sunni militias, which now operate beyond the control of Iraq's central government. The Americans call the units by a variety of euphemisms: Iraqi Security Volunteers (ISVs), neighborhood watch groups, Concerned Local Citizens, Critical Infrastructure Security. The militias prefer a simpler and more dramatic name: They call themselves Sahwa, or "the Awakening."


Great. This sounds like the perfect idea. Create a government, then create and arm opposing militias within the same country. And keep the money rolling in! That way everything appears to be okay.


"The only reason anything works or anybody deals with us is because we give them money," says a young Army intelligence officer. The 2nd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, which patrols Osama's territory, is handing out $32 million to Iraqis in the district, including $6 million to build the towering walls that, in the words of one U.S. officer, serve only to "make Iraqis more divided than they already are." In districts like Dora, the strategy of the surge seems simple: to buy off every Iraqi in sight. All told, the U.S. is now backing more than 600,000 Iraqi men in the security sector — more than half the number Saddam had at the height of his power.


Fucking awesome. This is what White Hair is running on. This is the big feather in The Decaying Man’s hat. Giving our old enemies tons of cash and weapons to prepare for a future war against the new "government" we put in place.


Only months ago, members of the Awakening were planting IEDs and ambushing U.S. soldiers. They were snipers and assassins, singing songs in honor of Fallujah and fighting what they viewed as a war of national liberation against the foreign occupiers. These are men the Americans described as terrorists, Saddam loyalists, dead-enders, evildoers, Baathists, insurgents. There is little doubt what will happen when the massive influx of American money stops: Unless the new Iraqi state continues to operate as a vast bribing machine, the insurgent Sunnis who have joined the new militias will likely revert to fighting the ruling Shiites, who still refuse to share power.

"We are essentially supporting a quasi-feudal devolution of authority to armed enclaves, which exist at the expense of central government authority," says Chas Freeman, who served as ambassador to Saudi Arabia under the first President Bush. "Those we are arming and training are arming and training themselves not to facilitate our objectives but to pursue their own objectives vis-a-vis other Iraqis. It means that the sectarian and ethnic conflicts that are now suppressed are likely to burst out with even greater ferocity in the future."


Remember what happened to Yugoslavia after the communist country fell apart? That’s going to look like a blip compared to the number of countries and people who will be sucked into a Sunni Shiite religious war. McCain and Bush pushed the surge only to quiet Iraq down until another Republican could be elected to the presidency. It’s a colossal fucking disaster, more so than at any other time. During this quiet “successful” time in Iraq, we have been creating the ultimate future nightmare. John Prehistoric McCain was the man pushing it the whole time. Good work, douchebag.

 

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Comments
phrogg

phrogg

Greenville, SC
August 2005

MAR 06, 2008 04:08 PM

Note to self: Do not look at that Bush-McCain snuggle-fest while trying to eat supper! puke

UpTight

UpTight

I'm lost
December 2003

MAR 06, 2008 04:17 PM

Colinism said:

UpTight said:
social liberal, radical centrist shit stirrer

since you ask



I think he meant whoever bought you the subscription



either way

regardless welcome back dude. smile

Me and the rest of us cons are gonna go oppress the poor and stop the spread of socialism. You in? biggrin



Well I still have a few residual Liberal tendencies. Which probably means I'll exploit the poor rather than oppress them.

UpTight

UpTight

I'm lost
December 2003

MAR 06, 2008 04:19 PM

coyotemike said:
I'm a teacher. I suspect most people of lying..



Teachers also have the unnerving ability to read upside down

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

MAR 06, 2008 04:20 PM

SergeantPsycho said:
Oh Reaper, where do I begin?

Let's start with your assertion that a reduction of the US Treasury via tax cuts is unsound economic policy. You do realize that our economy and the federal budge aren't one in the same don't you? How is McCain going to "pay" for these tax cuts? It's simple, he will (or at the very least, would like us to believe that he intends to) cut goverment spending. Forget public education, health care... whatever, the argumentment over whether they're worth it is for another post. A lot of goverment money goes to spend money on stupid crap that you don't even know about. See "Bridge to Nowhere". McCain will probably back up his tax cuts with reduction of that kind of spending.
More over, if anything less taxes would HELP the economy. Why? Because if corporations get to keep more of their money, those savings will find their way to the general public some how. Maybe a corporation might be able to reduce the price of goods in an attempt to beat out competitors. Maybe they'll be able to create new jobs with more revenue, what ever.
As for courting the "Religous Right", so what? Most of the "Religious Right" types are more tolerant and forward thinking than most would give them credit for (and I say this as a devout Atheist).



We're at war. Act like it.

attn_ho

attn_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

MAR 06, 2008 04:30 PM

UpTight said:
and?

my dad died at 66

Churchill retired at 78

the Dalai Lama is 73

Also, as I said, if the circumstances were right Liberals would be screaming about ageism.

I do admit, however, that 72 is probably too old to be playing professional football.



I dunno. id kind of like my president to be younger than 73-76 when dealing with the next nine- eleven

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

now THATS trolling. biggrin
also, Hitler was WAY younger than 72. also, Godwinned!

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

MAR 06, 2008 04:49 PM

SergeantPsycho said:
Oh Reaper, where do I begin?

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Let's start with your assertion that a reduction of the US Treasury via tax cuts is unsound economic policy. You do realize that our economy and the federal budge aren't one in the same don't you? How is McCain going to "pay" for these tax cuts? It's simple, he will (or at the very least, would like us to believe that he intends to) cut goverment spending. Forget public education, health care... whatever, the argumentment over whether they're worth it is for another post. A lot of goverment money goes to spend money on stupid crap that you don't even know about. See "Bridge to Nowhere". McCain will probably back up his tax cuts with reduction of that kind of spending.
More over, if anything less taxes would HELP the economy. Why? Because if corporations get to keep more of their money, those savings will find their way to the general public some how. Maybe a corporation might be able to reduce the price of goods in an attempt to beat out competitors. Maybe they'll be able to create new jobs with more revenue, what ever.
As for courting the "Religous Right", so what? Most of the "Religious Right" types are more tolerant and forward thinking than most would give them credit for (and I say this as a devout Atheist).



Where do you begin? Learn some economics. Some basic lessons on public finance and public debt repayment.

And stop being such an ignorant twatnozzle.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

MAR 06, 2008 04:54 PM

Here's something I didn't know:


As Nicholas Kristof first detailed, McCain's first wife was in a near-fatal car accident when he was in Vietnam and she was raising their children, an accident which debilitated her, causing her to gain substantial weight and actually lose several inches of height. McCain learned of how disfigured she was for the first time when he returned home in 1973.

A few years later, McCain began carrying on extramarital affairs, including with the very young, very pretty, and very rich heiress Cindy Hensley, for whom McCain eventually divorced his disfigured first wife in order to marry. McCain's three children (from his first marriage) were so disgusted by McCain's treatment of their mother that they boycotted the wedding. But not all was lost. Cindy's family money and Arizona connections launched McCain's political career.



Lovely.

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

MAR 06, 2008 05:07 PM

FearTheReaper said:
Here's something I didn't know:


As Nicholas Kristof first detailed, McCain's first wife was in a near-fatal car accident when he was in Vietnam and she was raising their children, an accident which debilitated her, causing her to gain substantial weight and actually lose several inches of height. McCain learned of how disfigured she was for the first time when he returned home in 1973.

A few years later, McCain began carrying on extramarital affairs, including with the very young, very pretty, and very rich heiress Cindy Hensley, for whom McCain eventually divorced his disfigured first wife in order to marry. McCain's three children (from his first marriage) were so disgusted by McCain's treatment of their mother that they boycotted the wedding. But not all was lost. Cindy's family money and Arizona connections launched McCain's political career.


Lovely.


Wow. And here I thought Republicans were a bastion of marital fidelity.

[/sarcasm]

-TM

SergeantPsycho

SergeantPsycho

USA
January 2007

MAR 06, 2008 05:44 PM

FearTheReaper said:

SergeantPsycho said:
Oh Reaper, where do I begin?

Let's start with your assertion that a reduction of the US Treasury via tax cuts is unsound economic policy. You do realize that our economy and the federal budge aren't one in the same don't you? How is McCain going to "pay" for these tax cuts? It's simple, he will (or at the very least, would like us to believe that he intends to) cut goverment spending. Forget public education, health care... whatever, the argumentment over whether they're worth it is for another post. A lot of goverment money goes to spend money on stupid crap that you don't even know about. See "Bridge to Nowhere". McCain will probably back up his tax cuts with reduction of that kind of spending.
More over, if anything less taxes would HELP the economy. Why? Because if corporations get to keep more of their money, those savings will find their way to the general public some how. Maybe a corporation might be able to reduce the price of goods in an attempt to beat out competitors. Maybe they'll be able to create new jobs with more revenue, what ever.
As for courting the "Religous Right", so what? Most of the "Religious Right" types are more tolerant and forward thinking than most would give them credit for (and I say this as a devout Atheist).



We're at war. Act like it.



I'm not clear what you mean, but I'm going to assume that you're suggesting that tax cuts will take away from military spending. My answer to that is that if we cut down the afforementioned waste, we can still have enough to fund the War on Terror. Maybe we should consider cutting funding to less nessecary wars like the war on drugs.

MistressMissy

mistressmissy

Grand Rapids, MI
March 2003

MAR 06, 2008 06:01 PM

Kindle said:
Wait, so people actually like Bush enough to vote for McCain? surreal This just solidifies how much I hate stupidity and ignorance.



Yeah I know. I wanted to smack someone I know through the phone when she told me "I don't want Obama to win because he's a Muslim. His middle name is Hussein."

I foresee Idiocracy coming true in the future. It's got what plants crave.

Reaver

Reaver

I'm lost
August 2003

MAR 06, 2008 06:29 PM

That's funny, I wanted to kill all the stupid college kids on my TV the other morning telling me how they wanted to vote for Obama because he's 'different, fresh, and something new'.

And then couldn't tell me one piece of his legislation, where he stood on any issue but Iraq, or what his platform was.

Granted, the night before Hillary and Obama did an awesome job of selling McCain to me, as they made him sound like the Second Coming of Jesus.

Which I found awesome, because even as a registered Republican I do not like John McCain.

This article reminded me of that, and yet I do not like Clinton or Obama either.

Maybe I should vote for Nader....

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

MAR 06, 2008 06:39 PM

Reaver said:
That's funny, I wanted to kill all the stupid college kids on my TV the other morning telling me how they wanted to vote for Obama because he's 'different, fresh, and something new'.

And then couldn't tell me one piece of his legislation, where he stood on any issue but Iraq, or what his platform was.

Granted, the night before Hillary and Obama did an awesome job of selling McCain to me, as they made him sound like the Second Coming of Jesus.

Which I found awesome, because even as a registered Republican I do not like John McCain.

This article reminded me of that, and yet I do not like Clinton or Obama either.

Maybe I should vote for Nader....



You got mad because the kids on TV couldn't answer the questions you were yelling into the screen?

FitzSimmons

FitzSimmons

Saint Paul, MN
January 2008

MAR 06, 2008 06:42 PM

Nolan_Void said:
Man this is some Manchurian Candidate shit right here...



How so? This is the 3rd or 4th time I have heard people make that reference. Strangely enough regarding a different candidate each time. I don't get it. Maybe I just don't understand politics or wasn't paying enough attention to the film...

confused

Coyotemike

Coyotemike

USA
May 2006

MAR 06, 2008 06:44 PM

FitzSimmons said:

Nolan_Void said:
Man this is some Manchurian Candidate shit right here...



How so? This is the 3rd or 4th time I have heard people make that reference. Strangely enough regarding a different candidate each time. I don't get it. Maybe I just don't understand politics or wasn't paying enough attention to the film...

confused



Don't feel confused. They're just trying to sound smart . . . and failing.

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

MAR 06, 2008 07:00 PM

SergeantPsycho said:

FearTheReaper said:

SergeantPsycho said:
Oh Reaper, where do I begin?

Let's start with your assertion that a reduction of the US Treasury via tax cuts is unsound economic policy. You do realize that our economy and the federal budge aren't one in the same don't you? How is McCain going to "pay" for these tax cuts? It's simple, he will (or at the very least, would like us to believe that he intends to) cut goverment spending. Forget public education, health care... whatever, the argumentment over whether they're worth it is for another post. A lot of goverment money goes to spend money on stupid crap that you don't even know about. See "Bridge to Nowhere". McCain will probably back up his tax cuts with reduction of that kind of spending.
More over, if anything less taxes would HELP the economy. Why? Because if corporations get to keep more of their money, those savings will find their way to the general public some how. Maybe a corporation might be able to reduce the price of goods in an attempt to beat out competitors. Maybe they'll be able to create new jobs with more revenue, what ever.
As for courting the "Religous Right", so what? Most of the "Religious Right" types are more tolerant and forward thinking than most would give them credit for (and I say this as a devout Atheist).



We're at war. Act like it.



I'm not clear what you mean, but I'm going to assume that you're suggesting that tax cuts will take away from military spending. My answer to that is that if we cut down the afforementioned waste, we can still have enough to fund the War on Terror. Maybe we should consider cutting funding to less nessecary wars like the war on drugs.



Jesus Christ. The extent to which you Have No Idea is truly mindboggling.

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