When candidates get desperate, they often go negative. Some go for the jugular and go dirty, while others apparently attempt to go negative and just end up looking pathetic. Hillary Clinton is running one of the saddest campaigns in recent memory. And by recent memory, I mean Rudy Giuliani.

For the first time in the race, Hillary has found herself on the back end of some serious ass kickings. Obama has rolled off eight, straight primary wins and looks to add to that total tonight, with Wisconsin and Hawaii. Hillary has adopted the Rudy template for failure by basically giving up those states and hoping for big victories in Texas and Ohio in March. At the same time, she is trying to go dirty on Obama and it’s fucking sad – oh, and if successful, it will tear the party apart.

The most distasteful aspect of the Clinton campaign is the “win at all costs” attitude. It’s great in a general election, but in a primary you just end up turning off millions of people you will need to vote for you in November. Examples of Clinton stupidity abound.

Yesterday, the co-chairman of Hillary’s Michigan campaign told Democrats in red states that they are completely useless.

“Oh. Thanks. That is very nice of you,” says HALF the country. And for those of you thinking it was just a guy in Michigan slipping up, I give you the man running the Clinton campaign.

Yes, it does. I mean, what kind of an asshole is popular in red states? What you want is someone who isn’t popular in red states, that way you can be sure to only win in blue states, like Kerry and Gore.

And while were on the subject of superdelegates, know that the Clinton campaign is listening to all the Democratic voters and party members who are concerned the situation could destroy party unity at the convention. The popular wisdom says that whoever wins the popular vote, should receive the majority of superdelagate votes, so voters don’t feel disenfranchised. Of course, the Hillary people could give a shit.

Oh, good. Thanks for putting to rest everyone’s fear that the candidate would be chosen by a bunch of party insiders in a smoke filled room and disenfranchise voters, you stupid assholes. What’s that? There is something worse that you can do to tear the party down the middle?

Right. The Michigan delegates should totally be counted, because not only was Obama not on the ballot, but also voters were not allowed to write in his name. Oh, and never mind that Hillary agreed that the votes would not count before primary season began. That’s just her word, why would we believe that?

Even Clinton supporters, people working hard on her behalf, are getting pissed off about the tactics.

She’s never going to listen, Bob. I mean, it's her fucking throne, not Obama's. And she is pulling out all the stops, calling for her friends to start a swiftboat campaign against Obama. Hillary’s people are reaching out to her rich supporters to make their own ads.

Oh, good, that always ends well. Many of these supporters believe Obama is too big of a pussy for the job and are impressed with Hillary’s fightin’ attitude.

And while you’re at it, why don’t you reach out to some neo-cons for some help, Hillary?

Yes, AIPAC. Just a lovely group of people who did everything they could to make sure the Iraq War happened. Pick a neo-con strategy in the Middle East and you can be sure AIPAC is doing what they can to make it happen. And now, they are giving money to the campaign of Hillary Clinton. Good news.

The heat is also rising on Obama’s dealings with a shady Chicago businessman named Tony Rezko. Hillary has been trying trying to get this scandal on the front page, with little success.

I have gotten a few emails from Clinton supporters about the Rezko land deal and it’s been popping up on pro-Clinton blogs and message boards. Sadly for them, this scandal appears to be nothing. It was investigated and there was no crime. Yesterday, the people who sold the home to Obama were finally interviewed.

But, I’m sure that’s not the last we’ve heard of that deal. Clinton will keep it alive and well, because having been on the other side of the bullshit Whitewater scandal, she is able to take the low moral ground and try to put a fellow Democrat through the same horseshit. Classy lady.

Another good way to forever alienate the supporters of your Democratic opponent – people you will need to vote for you in November – is to label them a cult. The Clinton machine started in on this two weeks ago.

Let's see, how would this work?

Good luck with that, dipshit.

So, what’s left? How about charging Obama with plagiarism?

Oooo. But what if the person who was plagiarized says it didn’t happen? Hillary’s campaign was accusing Obama of stealing a speech from Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick. Unfortunately for Clinton, Patrick and Obama are old allies who often share talking points.

Huh. Maybe before accusing someone of wrongdoing, you should check with the alleged victim to see whether or not you are going to look like an asshole. Also, check to see whether or not you are a pot calling a kettle black.

Oh, probably because Hillary has taken Obama’s campaign slogan and used it in a speech.



Could this woman get any more pathetic? I submit she could not. But, maybe her daughter could.

Holy fucking shit. Shut your mouth, you stupid asshole. I’m not clairvoyant, but I knew the Iraq War would be a disaster. You know why? Because I know how to read books. They are these things that have lots of ideas and words in them about stuff like tribes, religions and societies. Some people have actually written a few about Iraq. Crazy huh? Oh, and maybe Hillary should have actually read the National Intelligence Estimate about Iraq before voting for the fucking war.

Shut your pie hole, Chelsea. If you’re going to be pimped out, don’t embarrass the pimp.

This is pretty simple: The Democrats have about a month to get rid of Hillary Clinton, or they are never going to win in ’08.