First came the 2000 Florida elections that showed our Democracy to be a total sham. Thousands of voters illegally purged from voter rolls, ballots tossed because of tiny, hanging pieces of paper and ballots that confused voters. Then came Ohio in 2004, with voter intimidation, few polling stations and voting machines in black communities and a sham recount that led to the conviction of elections workers. Now, my state, California, has stepped forward as an example of how to destroy a Democracy.

Yesterday, I went to the polls armed, after studying the propositions for an hour and making my decisions. Mrs. FearTheReaper had advised me the wait was long and the workers were morons, so I was prepared for the worst. But, there was no line when I arrived, mostly because the polling place had changed. Then I remembered it had changed in November and I went to the new polling location. As I walked in, I looked at the arrows and balloons and red, white and blue signs informing me I was at a polling location, which was what I was hoping for. Only, it was not my polling location. My location was now further from my house, naturally.

So, I hoofed it a couple more blocks up the street and finally arrived at my polling location, which now crammed three precincts into one small place. Inside were two massive lines and a table with no line. Luckily, the people from my neighborhood don’t care about voting. I believed at the time I was registered as an Independent, but have since learned I am considered a DTS, Decline to State. The young woman behind the desk asked me if I would like to vote Independent or Democratic today. I responded, “Democratic.”

She then handed me a ballot, which had large, red lettering on top that read. “Democratic Party Ticket.” Then a mentally handicapped gentleman asked me my name and had me sign the register. I then stepped into the nearest booth and attempted to vote. But when I slid the ballot in the instruction book, I noticed a group of horrible names, like Mike Huckabee, John McCain and Mitt Romney. I then noticed a sign on the booth, about as high as my balls, which said, “REP.” Ha. I was in a Republican booth. What the fuck? I’m not The Cooler King. I’m a reasonable human being. That is just the height the sign should be, so no one will see it. Three other people made the same mistake while I was there.

So, I went into the “DEM” booth, placed my Democratic ballot into the book and went to work. First up, it said, “Democratic Party,” then directly below was a giant PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. Below were the Democratic candidates. I selected Barack Obama and went on to the rest of the ballot.

When I was done, I went up to another mentally handicapped man and gave him the ballot. He put it in the scanner as I watched the screen. The scanner said my ballot was accepted and off I went. Sound good?

It wasn’t. My vote for Obama did not count. Turns out, that to vote on my Democratic Ballot, I actually had to fill in a bubble that confirmed that I wanted to vote on the ballot I had just asked for. You know, just in case I didn’t know what I was doing. Turns out there was also another party listed up top, above “Democratic Party,” the “American Independent Party.” And that party's name was conveniently in smaller, thinner font, so Democratic Party would look like a title. Oh, and it turns out when the girl at the desk asked me if I wanted to vote Independent of Democratic, she was actually referring to the American Independent Party. I actually thought she meant Independent, because, I’m a fucking Independent. No, wait, I’m not. I’m a Decline to State. But the Decline to State booth was actually labeled “Independent.” Sound pretty clear?

When I turned my ballot over to the mentally handicapped guy and he put it through the scanner, it should have read “Error.” But it didn’t. It just didn’t register my vote for president. Just dropped it. As if it didn’t happen. Because after asking for a Democratic ballot and getting one that said, “Democratic Ticket” in bright, red letters, I should have still filled in a bubble to make it a Democratic Ticket, because voting should be filled with redundancy.

This man summed it up nicely on an LA Times message board.

Did I fuck up? Yep. Should I have been put into a position to fuck up? Fuck no. Perhaps I didn’t do it because it made no sense why it would be necessary, on a Democratic ballot, to note that I’m voting Democratic. I have since talked to several other friends, all college educated, smart people, who made the same mistake. All voted for Obama. And this is where it gets sticky. Independent voters lean heavily toward Obama, so this problem greatly affected his vote count. People have been complaining since late Tuesday to the Secretary of State, the District Attorney, the City Council and any other elected official who will listen. There are 776,000 DTS voters in LA County. Do the math.

LA County is the largest county in the nation. It's larger than nearly two-thirds of the states in the country. There are more than enough votes in this county alone to flip any particular state election.



Sadly, this wasn’t the only problem in California. There were many others. And all just happened to favor Hillary.

Across the state, many voters were dropped off voter rolls. MANY. For no apparent reason. It happened to SG members.

Those are very common stories on message boards, on blogs, and in conversations all over California today. This vote was a class A clusterfuck.

The story was reported in newspapers.

And caught on film.



One problem directly relates to the other. Here is a voter describing the nightmare scenario she experienced.

Knock ‘em off the voter registration, and then drop their votes off the ballot. Now you know how Hillary Clinton kicked the shit out of Barack Obama here in California. But is that all? Fuck no, it’s not!

In many precincts across the state, polling stations ran out of ballots. In America. During an election. In the year 2008.

Twenty percent of California voters are registered as DTS. That is a lot of people and because this was the first important election we have had in 20 years, we came out to vote and to vote in the Democratic election. Apparently the people running our election were caught off guard. By people voting.

Oops. Your bad. No big deal, we’re just picking a president to run our country. Certainly no time to plan for the BEST CASE SCENARIO. Good time to skim and save a few bucks. Definitely don’t want to make sure that everyone registered might actually get the chance to vote.

Some poll workers made quick judgments.

Yeah, you know why they don’t want you to? Because the electronic voting machines were decertified by the Secretary of State. On and on, across the state, voters ran into the same problems.

On and on.

And to put a cherry on top of the royal fuck up, many DTS voters were simply denied Democratic ballots by poll workers.

Maybe you guys should have actually told the fucking rules to the poll workers ahead of time. Just a tip.

Thankfully, our media is all over the story.

Right. Or the LA Times could have written the story this way:

Or this way:

The media is ignoring a massive story. It is only being reported in local newspapers and on local stations, as if it is a local story.

If anyone says Hillary Clinton won California, there is only appropriate response: “We’ll never know.” Why do I say we’ll never know? Because the LA County Acting Registrar of Voters is a wonderful gentleman named Dean Logan.

Those of you living in Washington state will know Dean Logan from the 2004 governor election fiasco between Republican Gov. Elect Dino Rossi and Democrat Christine Gregoire. Logan did a fine job.

He ran a well-oiled machine in Washington.

And there was no reason to not give Logan the LA job.

The man knows what he is doing.

Logan is honest.

He is trustworthy.

And dude clearly knows how to run an office.

Welcome to California, formerly Ohio, formerly Florida. Don’t let anyone tell you Clinton won California.