What Up Baghdad?
MONDAY DECEMBER 3 2007 9:00 AM
Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.
TAGS: Iraq War, Baghdad, Corruption, Surge

I don’t know if you’ve been reading the news lately, but we’ve basically won the war in Iraq. Yep, the surge has worked, Iraqi refugees are returning home in droves and all is well. So, I thought I should bring you up to date on some of the awesome news.
First, let’s start with the refugees returning. According to the Iraqi and US governments, 1,600 refugees are returning to Baghdad each day. Fucking sweet! We are winning!
Under intense pressure to show results after months of political stalemate, the government has continued to publicize figures that exaggerate the movement back to Iraq and Iraqis’ confidence that the current lull in violence can be sustained.
Boo. Liberal press, Democrats hate the troops, etc. You get what I’m trying to say.
Okay, so the number is apparently less than the reported 1,600 per day. And the government is not really keeping track of who the people are, so some of the returnees are actually terrorists, blah, blah, blah. The numbers a little off, right? I’m sure not by much.
Since Nov. 1, they said, the numbers have declined, and on Sunday morning, during a period when several buses used to appear, only one came.
Well, shit at least people are coming back, right? No matter how small the number, at least it’s positive!
The survey found that 46 percent were leaving because they could not afford to stay; 25 percent said they fell victim to a stricter Syrian visa policy; and only 14 percent said they were returning because they had heard about improved security.
Yeah, but, but..people are still living in Iraq. They are still there, you liberal fucks!
Furthermore, people are still leaving their homes — 28,017 were internally displaced in October, according to the latest United Nations figures. In all, the United Nations estimates that 2.4 million Iraqis are still internally displaced, with many occupying someone else’s home.
I’m just going to move on because naysayers and America haters have attacked this topic. The surge is working, which means Iraqi politicians can to come together and start hammering out solutions.
Sunni lawmakers walked out of Iraq's parliament Saturday, protesting what they called the house arrest of a prominent Sunni politician.
Ibrahim said members of three Sunni blocs in parliament walked out: Iraqi National Dialogue Front, the secular Sunni bloc called Iraqi List, and al-Dulaimi's main Sunni bloc, National Accord Front.
Well, who cares about the Sunnis? They are only like 2% of the population or something. At least now that the surge has worked, people can return to their normal lives.
Baghdad is facing a 'catastrophe' with cases of cholera rising sharply in the past three weeks to more than 100, strengthening fears that poor sanitation and the imminent rainy season could create an epidemic.
Honestly, why can’t we just focus on the surge and how great it is going? After four years of war, the sewer system is a bit fucked up, yes. Only 30 to 40 percent of Baghdad sewage pumps are working, which is better than zero. Come on, the glass is half full. Or 40% full.
Although US forces in Baghdad have found that security is improving, on daily patrols they face complaints from residents about streets plagued by piles of household waste and fetid cesspools, often near schools and where children are playing.
We estimate that only one in three Iraqi children can rely on a safe water source - with Baghdad and southern cities most affected.
Yes, but now we can actually fix the fucking problem, right?
Companies responsible for collecting waste and sewage have been reluctant to enter Baghdad's most violent areas.
Yes, yes, fine. But the surge is working and now we can fix everything. We just need the money to get the repairs done.
One recent independent analysis ranked Iraq the third most corrupt country in the world. Of 180 countries surveyed, only Somalia and Myanmar were worse, according to Transparency International.
And the extent of the theft is staggering. Some American officials estimate that as much as a third of what they spend on Iraqi contracts and grants ends up unaccounted for or stolen, with a portion going to Shiite or Sunni militias.
Granted that sounds bad, but less people are dying from bullets and bombs. How about somebody throw a smiley face around? Or put a fucking gold star on top of a report? Instead of all this dark cloud bullshit.
In addition, Iraq’s top anticorruption official estimated this fall — before resigning and fleeing the country after 31 of his agency’s employees were killed over a three-year period — that $18 billion in Iraqi government money had been lost to various stealing schemes since 2004.
Hello? Surge? Working?
One government worker, who goes by the name Abu Muhammad, said a senior administrator at the ministry where he worked recently sold off computers, laser printers, office furniture and other supplies that appeared to have been paid for with American aid. The official was never caught or prosecuted, he said.
So, now you are mad at some guy because he learned to be an entrepreneur? Really? That is pretty anti-American. Let’s just focus on one word: Surge. Okay? Good?
Many U.S. journalists believe coverage has painted too rosy a picture of the conflict.
Oh, fuck off. Liberal asshole reporters.
A majority of journalists surveyed say most of the country is too dangerous to visit. Nine out of ten say that about at least half of Baghdad itself. Wherever they go, traveling with armed guards and chase vehicles is the norm for more than seven out of ten surveyed.
Fine, you hate America. I get it. Anything else you want to throw in before you lose the war?
WHO places Infant Mortality above 110 deaths per 1,000 live births.
Blow me.
FearTheReaper is excited that Bush finally got around to doing what he should have done the first week. But four years is too late.

















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