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Asshole Fuckface Roundup #22

SATURDAY NOVEMBER 24 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: Pentagon, Iraq,



Welcome to the Asshole Fuckface Roundup. Not many people know the origins of the Roundup. We have to go all the way back to Paris in the Year of our Lord one thousand three hundred and fourteen. As the Grand Master of the Knights Templar, Jacques de Molay, was being slowly burned at the stake by order of King Phillip IV, he is said to have only uttered one phrase: “Phillip is totally this week’s Asshole Fuckface.” Ever since that day, there has been a weekly Roundup. I search the news each week and unearth subhuman creatures for you to observe, poke at and mock. It is not easy; some would say I am cursed, yet I continue on. So, put on your ponchos, this is going to be ugly.

It seems every week the Pentagon is doing whatever it can to earn the label of Asshole Fuckface.

On Thanksgiving, it was revealed that the Pentagon has decided not to include soldiers who sustain a common and sometimes devastating injury during battle as “officially wounded.”


At least 20,000 U.S. troops who were not classified as wounded during combat in Iraq and Afghanistan have been found with signs of brain injuries, according to military and veterans records.


But, hey, it’s easy to undercount by 20,000. I did it yesterday when I was counting how many Advil I had left.

The Pentagon lists the number of troops who have sustained brain trauma during combat as 4,471 and the overall number of wounded is 30,327. Now tack on 20,000 soldiers who have sustained brain injuries and been left off the list and we are looking at 50,000.

It can be a brutal injury. Take Marine Lance Cpl. Gene Landrus, who was injured in a roadside bomb attack. He blacked out for a few seconds and when he came to, everything was moving in slow motion.


"I still can't remember what I did the day before or stuff that I did earlier in the day," he says. He carries a Palm Pilot or a pad of paper to write down orders, numbers or dates, so he can remember them later. The headaches have never gone away.

Landrus will never fully recover, says Jessica Martinez, his lead therapist at Scripps.

"This is basically like an invisible injury," she says. "He looks like a normal guy. … But if you spend any amount of time with him … you would be able to notice that something's really happened."


It is often missed on the battlefield because medics are trying to keep people alive and spend more time checking for holes than concussions. But that is no excuse for these soldiers not being included in the official statistics when the injuries are discovered later. That is just pure bullshit designed to hide the truth about the war and because of that decision, the Pentagon is officially an Asshole Fuckface organization.

What’s an Asshole Fuckface Roundup without Wal-Mart? Nothing, that’s what.

Meet 52-year-old Deborah Shank. She was a Wal-Mart employee who got into an accident with a semi. That usually does not go well and it didn’t for Deborah. She ended up with permanent brain damage and in a wheel chair. Thankfully, her Wal-Mart health insurance paid for her medical bills. But Deborah is going to need permanent care, so she sued the trucking company and ended up with $417,000 after legal fees. It was put into a trust to pay the nursing home that she now lives in.

Then Wal-Mart sued to get that money. After all, the Wal-Mart plan had paid for her medical bills, so it was theirs.


Two years ago, the retail giant's health plan sued the Shanks for the $470,000 it had spent on her medical care


Apparently this is a growing practice in our corporate world. They call it “subrogation” and claim it is a way to save money for everyone who is part of the health plan. The Supreme Court upheld the practice, so companies go after every poor injured bastard they can. Certainly Wal-Mart needs the money. Actually, they didn’t just want the money.


In August 2005, Wal-Mart re-emerged with a lawsuit against the Shanks demanding repayment for $469,216 in medical costs out of their settlement. It charged that the Shanks had violated the terms of the health plan by not reimbursing it. The company also demanded payment of legal fees and interest for the cost of suing the Shanks for the money.


Wow, that is nice. Wal-Mart was upset because the Shanks claimed the company was not entitled to the money because it went into a trust and not straight to the family. And for that they must pay.

The Shanks lost the case last year and appealed. Then their 18-year-old son died fighting in Iraq. Then they lost the appeal. That is a bad fucking year.


Mrs. Shank went to Jeremy's funeral. But because of memory problems due to her injuries, she gets confused about what happened. On a recent morning, she cried several times and asked what had happened to her middle son.


That just warms the heart, doesn’t it? The Shanks are continuing to appeal the verdict. Wal-Mart remains an Asshole Fuckface.

Next up, my favorite Democratic Asshole Fuckface is back!

You gotta love Rep. William J. Jefferson of Louisiana. In 2005 Jefferson was videotaped accepting $100,000 from an investor. The FBI then raided his home and found $90,000 in his freezer. Of course, that is not a good enough reason to throw the man out of Congress and the good people of Louisiana voted him back in office in a runoff election last December. Then in June, a federal grand jury indicted him on 16 charges related to corruption. He has been charged with receiving more than $500,000 in bribes and demanded millions of dollars more between 2000 and 2005. He could serve life in prison.

Mr. Jefferson Fuckface is a bonanza of corruption and this week we learned more!


The government alleges that in 2002 Jefferson, a Democrat, asked a lobbyist for a U.S. oil services company for payments of $10,000 a month for a family member. In exchange, Jefferson said he would help the company promote business in Africa. The lobbyist turned down the request, according to the document.


Hey, he was just trying to help out.


Jefferson later made a deal to urge NASA to do business with a U.S. rocket launch services and technology company, according to the filing. The company is accused of agreeing to pay Jefferson's family business and a relative in exchange for his help.


Just a day’s work.


The indictment spells out 11 separate bribery schemes in which Jefferson used his influence as co-chairman of the congressional Africa Investment and Trade Caucus to broker deals in Nigeria, Ghana, Cameroon and other African nations.


Uh, why the fuck would the Asshole Fuckfaces living in the 2nd district of Louisiana elect this guy back into office? Oh, right, they're also Asshole Fuckfaces. May he spend many, many years in prison.

Next up, the Asshole Fuckface roundup is always pleased to give our crazy religious friends the nod.

This week it is our good friends at Conservapedia, the conservative version of Wikipedia. Turns out Wikipedia was too biased because the truth can be found everywhere. The stated purpose of Conservapedia was to create “an encyclopedia written from the socially and economically conservative viewpoint supportive of Conservative Christianity.” (Lies.)

Conservapedia kicked off in November of 2006 and it has been kicking ass in a Jesus-like way. There are over 20,400 entries. Sorry, 20,400 “educational, clean, and concise” entries. Not going to find anything about dirty fucking on Conservapedia.

So, now that it’s been a year, let’s check out what the good conservative people of our great nation search for and read.

Most viewed pages:


    #1 Main Page [1,932,512]
    #2 Homosexuality [1,623,972]
    #3 Homosexuality and Hepatitis [518,027]
    #4 Homosexuality and Parasites [433,369]
    #5 Homosexuality and Promiscuity [422,103]
    #6 Gay Bowel Syndrome [401,126]
    #7 Homosexual Couples and Domestic Violence [373,943]
    #8 Homosexuality and Gonorrhea [332,073]
    #9 Homosexuality and Anal Cancer [294,344]
    #10 Homosexuality and Mental Health [293,754]


Yep, that is clean and concise all right. I can picture thousands upon thousands of Christian Asshole Fuckfaces reading Conservapedia while shaking their heads in disgust and harshly gripping and tugging on their penis until it erupts. Seriously, just fuck a dude. You want it so bad it is insane.

And, uh, homosexuality and parasites? What the fuck?

Congrats to all of this weeks winners. You will be receiving a FearTheReaper silk tie in the mail.

 

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Zarth

Zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

NOV 24, 2007 05:51 PM

Subrosa said:

jpaul256 said:
And what entity first made subrogation, payor of last resort and third party liability standard parts of their plan?

The Federal Government!

Medicare and Medicaid routinely go after settlements of this kind as part of normal operations. Private insurers learned this from Washington, D.C.

I suggest that you think about situations such as this as you enter the ballot box during the next election. Subrogation would become national policy for everyone if the country is dumb enough and short-sighted enough to institute a utopian natioal healthcare plan.


So, if we have a national health care plan where instead of insurance companies paying our costs we have the federal government paying our costs... somehow this will lead to the federal government suing individual people for the costs that they themselves have to pay? Do explain how!


Because the poster says so! Jeez, can't you even read?

Chainlink

Chainlink

Key West, FL
August 2005

NOV 24, 2007 05:53 PM

Subrosa said:

jpaul256 said:
And what entity first made subrogation, payor of last resort and third party liability standard parts of their plan?

The Federal Government!

Medicare and Medicaid routinely go after settlements of this kind as part of normal operations. Private insurers learned this from Washington, D.C.

I suggest that you think about situations such as this as you enter the ballot box during the next election. Subrogation would become national policy for everyone if the country is dumb enough and short-sighted enough to institute a utopian natioal healthcare plan.


So, if we have a national health care plan where instead of insurance companies paying our costs we have the federal government paying our costs... somehow this will lead to the federal government suing individual people for the costs that they themselves have to pay? Do explain how!



Oh SHit !
He didn't mean actually think about it. Just rhetorically think about it.
Geeze, now you've gone and spoiled his speech. Think about that.

Zarth

Zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

NOV 24, 2007 06:03 PM

Chainlink said:

Subrosa said:

jpaul256 said:
And what entity first made subrogation, payor of last resort and third party liability standard parts of their plan?

The Federal Government!

Medicare and Medicaid routinely go after settlements of this kind as part of normal operations. Private insurers learned this from Washington, D.C.

I suggest that you think about situations such as this as you enter the ballot box during the next election. Subrogation would become national policy for everyone if the country is dumb enough and short-sighted enough to institute a utopian natioal healthcare plan.


So, if we have a national health care plan where instead of insurance companies paying our costs we have the federal government paying our costs... somehow this will lead to the federal government suing individual people for the costs that they themselves have to pay? Do explain how!


Oh SHit !
He didn't mean actually think about it. Just rhetorically think about it.
Geeze, now you've gone and spoiled his speech. Think about that.


Understand? May not.

freshprncebelair

freshprncebelair

Ellicott City, MD
June 2004

NOV 24, 2007 06:21 PM

Subrosa said:

jpaul256 said:
And what entity first made subrogation, payor of last resort and third party liability standard parts of their plan?

The Federal Government!

Medicare and Medicaid routinely go after settlements of this kind as part of normal operations. Private insurers learned this from Washington, D.C.

I suggest that you think about situations such as this as you enter the ballot box during the next election. Subrogation would become national policy for everyone if the country is dumb enough and short-sighted enough to institute a utopian natioal healthcare plan.


So, if we have a national health care plan where instead of insurance companies paying our costs we have the federal government paying our costs... somehow this will lead to the federal government suing individual people for the costs that they themselves have to pay? Do explain how!



They will do it, or essentially, the federal government will be giving a huge subsidy to auto insurers. I mean, if you are underwriting insurance, and don't have to worry about medical bills, that's a major factor out of your cost to provide insurance.

coyotemike

coyotemike

Kearney, NE
May 2006

NOV 24, 2007 06:24 PM

Subrosa said:

jpaul256 said:
And what entity first made subrogation, payor of last resort and third party liability standard parts of their plan?

The Federal Government!

Medicare and Medicaid routinely go after settlements of this kind as part of normal operations. Private insurers learned this from Washington, D.C.

I suggest that you think about situations such as this as you enter the ballot box during the next election. Subrogation would become national policy for everyone if the country is dumb enough and short-sighted enough to institute a utopian natioal healthcare plan.


So, if we have a national health care plan where instead of insurance companies paying our costs we have the federal government paying our costs... somehow this will lead to the federal government suing individual people for the costs that they themselves have to pay? Do explain how!



Wouldn't national health care have covered her nursing home needs, thus eliminating the settlement and Wal-vampire's draining of the victim?

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

NOV 24, 2007 06:29 PM

freshprncebelair said:

Subrosa said:

jpaul256 said:
And what entity first made subrogation, payor of last resort and third party liability standard parts of their plan?

The Federal Government!

Medicare and Medicaid routinely go after settlements of this kind as part of normal operations. Private insurers learned this from Washington, D.C.

I suggest that you think about situations such as this as you enter the ballot box during the next election. Subrogation would become national policy for everyone if the country is dumb enough and short-sighted enough to institute a utopian natioal healthcare plan.


So, if we have a national health care plan where instead of insurance companies paying our costs we have the federal government paying our costs... somehow this will lead to the federal government suing individual people for the costs that they themselves have to pay? Do explain how!



They will do it, or essentially, the federal government will be giving a huge subsidy to auto insurers. I mean, if you are underwriting insurance, and don't have to worry about medical bills, that's a major factor out of your cost to provide insurance.



It won't be a subsidy. It will reduce the overall cost of insurance and then the cost of insurance for individual buyers will be reduced as well.

More relevantly, you didn't answer my question: Why would the federal government sue individual people to recover costs for their treatment if the federal government (not the individual person) is responsible for those costst? Under what theory would they be able to recover?

Subrogation suits are a direct result of the medical insurance system we have now. They would in no way be encouraged by going to universal health care. Rather, they would be eliminated in the medical bill context.

jpaul256

jpaul256

Spring, TX
June 2006

NOV 24, 2007 07:25 PM

Subrosa said:
It won't be a subsidy. It will reduce the overall cost of insurance and then the cost of insurance for individual buyers will be reduced as well.

More relevantly, you didn't answer my question: Why would the federal government sue individual people to recover costs for their treatment if the federal government (not the individual person) is responsible for those costst? Under what theory would they be able to recover?

Subrogation suits are a direct result of the medical insurance system we have now. They would in no way be encouraged by going to universal health care. Rather, they would be eliminated in the medical bill context.



1. Deborah Shank was in an accident.
2. Deborah's medical expenses were covered by her health insurance.
3. Deborah sued the trucking company responsible for the accident.
4. Deborah won the suit.
5. Wal-Mart (actually the Wal-Mart health plan) found out about the award and sued Deborah to recover the cost of her care. In short, Wal-Mart was claiming to be the payor of last resort with the payor of first resort being the trucking company.
6. Wal-Mart won the suit and subsequent appeal. Deborah owes Wal-Mart $470K.

Now.

Take the events surrounding Deborah's situation and replace the Wal-Mart health plan with Medicare or Medicaid. The result would have been the same.

The situation will be the same in a national healthcare system. If you win a liability suit against a private entity, the federal government will act as the payor of last resort and be able to recoup the cost of healthcare from the money awarded by the court.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

NOV 24, 2007 07:37 PM

jpaul256 said:

Subrosa said:
It won't be a subsidy. It will reduce the overall cost of insurance and then the cost of insurance for individual buyers will be reduced as well.

More relevantly, you didn't answer my question: Why would the federal government sue individual people to recover costs for their treatment if the federal government (not the individual person) is responsible for those costst? Under what theory would they be able to recover?

Subrogation suits are a direct result of the medical insurance system we have now. They would in no way be encouraged by going to universal health care. Rather, they would be eliminated in the medical bill context.



1. Deborah Shank was in an accident.
2. Deborah's medical expenses were covered by her health insurance.
3. Deborah sued the trucking company responsible for the accident.
4. Deborah won the suit.
5. Wal-Mart (actually the Wal-Mart health plan) found out about the award and sued Deborah to recover the cost of her care. In short, Wal-Mart was claiming to be the payor of last resort with the payor of first resort being the trucking company.
6. Wal-Mart won the suit and subsequent appeal. Deborah owes Wal-Mart $470K.

Now.

Take the events surrounding Deborah's situation and replace the Wal-Mart health plan with Medicare or Medicaid. The result would have been the same.


That's correct. Under the current system.

The situation will be the same in a national healthcare system. If you win a liability suit against a private entity, the federal government will act as the payor of last resort and be able to recoup the cost of healthcare from the money awarded by the court.


That's entirely incorrect.

The reason the insurer can recover the cost of the health care from the money awarded by the court is because the court is awarding the "wrong" party the cost of the health care. Let's back up and do the hypothetical under a national health care system.

1) You get hit by the pie truck.
2) You sue the pie truck company for compensatory damages.
3) You cannot sue the pie truck company for medical bills because you paid no medical bills (the government did). You recover for your pain and suffering (or other compensatory damages such as lost wages, etc.)
4) The government paid the medical bills, therefore if they choose to they can step in and subrogate against the pie truck company for those medical bills, but they can't go after you because you didn't recover anything for them.

Once again, a national health care system removes the individual from the responsibility for paying for medical treatment. Thus, they won't be able to recover for medical bills in the first place. Thus, subrogation suits against the individual (which is what we are talking about here) will cease to be an issue.

RudieCantFail

RudieCantFail

Intercourse, PA
January 2006

NOV 24, 2007 07:53 PM

Chainlink said:
If they payed her bills up front out of the kindness of their hearts and then got beat by the other insurance company, shouldn't the Walmarts Insurance Co. be suing the trucking companys insurance company if they refused to pay or settle ?
Instead, they left the victim of the accident to sue them herself for expense related to her ongoing care specifically, not her original medical care. She did and she won and it seems now they just figured it was easier to get it from her than actually fight the responsible party themselves for the original expenses.
Definitely sounds pretty fuckface to me.



Precisely. That's how subrogation is supposed to work. In an auto-accident, the victim's insurance company pays the upfront medical costs to expedite treatment, and then seeks reimbursement from the at-fault party.

The settlement this woman received was not for the upfront medical costs her insurance covered immediately following her injuries, the settlement was for future medical costs that have not yet, nor will ever be covered by her insurance plan that she will continue to incur for the rest of her life as a result of those injuries.

If Wal-Mart wants to be reimbursed for those upfront expenses that they covered immediately after her injury, then they need to settle with the at-fault party in that accident, not the victim.

jpaul256

jpaul256

Spring, TX
June 2006

NOV 24, 2007 08:01 PM

Subrosa said:
Once again, a national health care system removes the individual from the responsibility for paying for medical treatment. Thus, they won't be able to recover for medical bills in the first place. Thus, subrogation suits against the individual (which is what we are talking about here) will cease to be an issue.



Your assertion does not fit with any of the national healthcare programs outlined by the current presidential candidates. You may have a plan that eliminates this possibility, but no one running for the White House does.

The candidates are proposing a national healthcare plan which will be managed much like an HMO or PPO is today. This idea that the individual is going to be removed from the process simply isn't true. Well, except for the actual healthcare being administered. Then the patient will have no say in what services are provided. The government will decide for you.

And why won't the individual be removed from the process? Because not all Americans are created equally! Remember, the nail in every plank of the Democrats platform is "the rich are evil - make them pay for it". So, those that exist above a certain economic benchmark will pay for their own healthcare!

semiretiredpunk

semiretiredpunk

Evansville, IN
March 2007

NOV 24, 2007 08:01 PM

BOYCOTT WAL-MART
pass it on

jpaul256

jpaul256

Spring, TX
June 2006

NOV 24, 2007 08:03 PM

RudieCantFail said:
Precisely. That's how subrogation is supposed to work. In an auto-accident, the victim's insurance company pays the upfront medical costs to expedite treatment, and then seeks reimbursement from the at-fault party.

The settlement this woman received was not for the upfront medical costs her insurance covered immediately following her injuries, the settlement was for future medical costs that have not yet, nor will ever be covered by her insurance plan that she will continue to incur for the rest of her life as a result of those injuries.

If Wal-Mart wants to be reimbursed for those upfront expenses that they covered immediately after her injury, then they need to settle with the at-fault party in that accident, not the victim.



I agree. Wal-Mart should have never won the suit against Deborah because the money she won was for future expenses.

freshprncebelair

freshprncebelair

Ellicott City, MD
June 2004

NOV 24, 2007 08:09 PM



4) The government paid the medical bills, therefore if they choose to they can step in and subrogate against the pie truck company for those medical bills, but they can't go after you because you didn't recover anything for them.



This is more what I was getting at. The government will go after _somebody_ for the cost of accidents, as absorbing the cost of things like that is not the domain of ordinary health insurance.

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

NOV 24, 2007 08:19 PM

jpaul256 said:

Subrosa said:
Once again, a national health care system removes the individual from the responsibility for paying for medical treatment. Thus, they won't be able to recover for medical bills in the first place. Thus, subrogation suits against the individual (which is what we are talking about here) will cease to be an issue.



Your assertion does not fit with any of the national healthcare programs outlined by the current presidential candidates. You may have a plan that eliminates this possibility, but no one running for the White House does.

The candidates are proposing a national healthcare plan which will be managed much like an HMO or PPO is today. This idea that the individual is going to be removed from the process simply isn't true. Well, except for the actual healthcare being administered. Then the patient will have no say in what services are provided. The government will decide for you.


No. You're wrong. I'm not going to get into the policy debate over whether nationalized health care is a good idea because you don't appear to be interested in actual debate anyway. My point was that subrogation suits are not an additional reason to fear the big bad monster of universal health care. That is the case, as I've shown. You can fiddle with the sliders of what the Democrats are proposing vs. a pure national health care system, but the bottom line is that the more nationalized a health care system you have the less of a problem you have with subrogation suits against indivuduals.

And why won't the individual be removed from the process? Because not all Americans are created equally! Remember, the nail in every plank of the Democrats platform is "the rich are evil - make them pay for it". So, those that exist above a certain economic benchmark will pay for their own healthcare!


Oh come on, dude. You're just throwing out bullshit platitudes at this point. Why should anyone make the effort to engage you in actual conversation if you're just going to pull this bumper sticker crap all the time?

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

NOV 24, 2007 08:22 PM

freshprncebelair said:


4) The government paid the medical bills, therefore if they choose to they can step in and subrogate against the pie truck company for those medical bills, but they can't go after you because you didn't recover anything for them.



This is more what I was getting at. The government will go after _somebody_ for the cost of accidents, as absorbing the cost of things like that is not the domain of ordinary health insurance.



Absorbing the costs of what? I'm not sure what you're getting at here.

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