Finally, Tiny Microscopic People Get A Chance

Colorado apparently has its share of lunatics because yesterday the state Supreme Court gave an anti-abortion group the go ahead to try to put a measure on the ballot that would define a fertilized egg as a person. All they need to do is collect 76,000 signatures. Anyone want to bet that there are 76,000 Christian lunatics in Colorado?

This is the kind of election shit that liberals and centrists have to throw money at to defeat, which takes funds away from important races and also draws right wing voters to the polls. It won’t matter if the Christian right doesn’t like Rudy or McCain or Mitt, once they are in the booth, they will vote for one of them over which ever baby killer the Democrats pick.

The court approved the language of the proposal, rejecting a challenge from abortion-rights supporters who argued it was misleading and dealt with more than one subject in violation of the state constitution.

If approved by voters, the measure would give fertilized eggs the state constitutional protections of inalienable rights, justice and due process.

Super. Hey, you know that one book you read all the time? I don’t really want to live by it. Although, I’m not sure The Bible ever covered fertilized eggs. This is just another attempt to make abortion illegal. These people are creative little fuckers, aren’t they?

Another effect of the legislation would be to create problems for in-vitro fertilization and stem cell research. And some believe it would lead to a ban on birth control. The Christians, of course, disagree. There is nothing behind this effort!

"It doesn't outlaw abortion, it doesn't regulate birth control," said Kristi Burton, 20, of Colorado for Equal Rights. "It's just a constitutional principle. We're laying a foundation that every life deserves protection.”

Oh, you’re just laying down a little foundation. That’s totally cool. But, I have a question for you: If a little clump of human cells is a person, then is one of my hairs a person? What about one of my turds? Why not? They both have human cells in them.

"It's very clearly a single subject," Burton said. "If it's a human being, it's a person, and hey, they deserve equal rights under our law."

Uh huh. Maybe you guys could move somewhere else and start a theocracy.

The nutters have six months to collect the signatures. And they are not just focusing on Colorado. Christian groups are trying leading similar efforts in Montana, Georgia, Oregon, Michigan and South Carolina. The Republicans always need their crazy religious issue. For the 2004 presidential elections it was gay marriage. Now they will try to save microscopic peeps. Expect a massive turnout in Colorado in 2008.

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