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Al Qaeda Rides Harleys And Starts Fires!

FRIDAY OCTOBER 26 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By FearTheReaper.

TAGS: Fox News, al Qaeda, Terrorism California Fires"

Fox News is obviously only for the borderline retarded. The entire network is a joke and has repeatedly been caught lying. In polls, its viewers are always the least knowledgeable when it comes to facts. The network is constantly breeding a race of loud, overbearing, ignorant Americans filled with pride. I'm sure a couple will blather incoherently in the comments section of this story, with no clue as to how stupid they actually are.

The latest example of Fox's terrible reporting occurred in the last couple of days, when the idiots at Fox News hinted that al Qaeda started the Southern California fires.

I�ve heard about some people talk about this.

Oh, good, then say it on the air. This is the greatest example of something a journalist should never say. A news anchor should never say it. A reporter should never say it. A fucking weatherman should never say it. How about a shred of integrity and responsibility?

The allegations were made up and made on Fox & Friends, a morning show that helps idiots to wake up with fear. Fox & Friends made the claim on Wednesday, and Fox News followed it up on Thursday, even after much Internet and media ridicule. The FBI memo they refer to is four years old, not a few months, as the anchors would have you believe.

Left unsaid by the Fox news-reader was that the FBI warning was sent more than four years ago, described a potential plot that made no mention of California, could not be proven accurate and did not raise alarms from forest-fire officials at the time. (Such caveats all were included in an Associated Press report on the warning at the time.)

Proof and evidence are not enough to stop the incredible reporters at Fox News. There is a story there and they are going to find it even if they have to make it up. On Thursday, they dug deeper into the not real story. (Scroll to the bottom for the amazing video)

How do they determine what's arson and what's terrorism?

That�s a good question and one you should ask yourself before you go blathering about it on national television. Thankfully, a Fox News terror analyst was there to calm down the crazy talk.

�In a post-9/11 world, we have to consider all possibilities," Stakelbeck intoned. �The fires appear to be the result of a coordinated effort ... over a large area."

Uh, no, not at all. The Santa Ana winds are here. The winds blow very hot air out of the desert, down the mountains and into Los Angeles. Combine the winds with a parched environment due to a drought and you have the perfect conditions for fire. Oh, and arsonist wait with their boners to start fires during the Santa Anas. But what do I know, I've only lived in California my entire life. Fox would know that if they had hired the correct analyst for this segment, they are called meteorologists.

Even if this doesn�t fit the al Qaeda, Jihadi profile, I still consider this, personally, an act of domestic terrorism. It�s affecting women, children, innocents�

Right. Fires are domestic terrorism. That is why arsonists have to register as sex criminals, because they are terrorists. And it is affecting women, children and innocents. Know why? Because it�s a FUCKING FIRE, asshole.

I think now would be a good time to define terrorism.

The calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear.

Well, someone is definitely instilling fear in civilians. Sadly, it�s a news channel. Terrorists generally like to take credit for their acts, because it scares the shit out of people. But with Fox News around, they never have to!

What a cost-effective means of terrorism. Really all you need is some matches, kerosene and a lighter and look at what you can do.

Yahoo, look what you can do! Do you need to go rub one out, weirdo? Seriously, why are you so excited about the damage that can be caused with such simple supplies?

Is the FBI going to move in and start trying to figure out if he was operating alone or if he was operating with al Qaeda?

No. They are going to take note of the giant erection in his pants when he was caught and chalk it up to arson.

Thanks for once again being the most embarrassing and pathetic news source on the planet Fox.

53 Comments

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legionnaire

United Kingdom

November 2003

OCT 26, 2007 09:48 AM

You know, I heard that al-Qaeda was also responsible for the development of nuclear weapons, hurricane Katrina, the ascent of the Nazis to power in the 1930s, the collapse of the Cleveland Indians in the AL playoff series, and the Macarena. I think we can all connect the dots and see what has to be done - stay the course in Iraq.

Does that kind of hard-hitting reporting qualify me to be on Fox news?

RudieCantFail

Intercourse, PA

January 2006

OCT 26, 2007 09:54 AM

legionnaire said:
You know, I heard that al-Qaeda was also responsible for the development of nuclear weapons, hurricane Katrina, the ascent of the Nazis to power in the 1930s, the collapse of the Cleveland Indians in the AL playoff series, and the Macarena. I think we can all connect the dots and see what has to be done - stay the course in Iraq.

Does that kind of hard-hitting reporting qualify me to be on Fox news?

True fact: It was al-Quaeda that let the dogs out.

Maxtype

Pueblo, CO

October 2007

OCT 26, 2007 10:08 AM

Holy shit..........I knew Fox News was stupid but this is SCARY stupid!

RobNickiAZ13

I'm lost

July 2007

OCT 26, 2007 10:29 AM

Oh good, did anybody notice towards the end that they say the arizona republic was the first to carry the story about the FBI memo. Thats just a small reminder that no matter how dumb you think everyone is everywhere else, their dumb enough here to come up with it first.

Ferretbite

Mexico

September 2006

OCT 26, 2007 10:31 AM

The fools. They don't know it's our illegal immigrants trying to burn everything to the ground so they can buy cheap land to establish a dope mall.

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH

February 2007

OCT 26, 2007 10:34 AM

Like Al-Qaeda could afford harley's. you seen the prices on those things lately? I might believe it if it was a moped. wait. no i wouldn't.

Too much Fire will kill you.

Clidna

Emo, ON

January 2005

OCT 26, 2007 10:36 AM

Gosh... didn't take long for that video to get yanked... did Fox buy YouTube or something?

Edit: Nevermind, it's back now. And man, is it bad.

smithers_jones

Los Angeles, CA

November 2003

OCT 26, 2007 10:45 AM

Come to think of it, I did see a Hell Angel biker-chick riding through Topanga Canyon wearing a leather Burqa earlier this week. I didn't think anything of it at the time.....

Ferretbite

Mexico

September 2006

OCT 26, 2007 10:46 AM

Shit, they're morons but the F.I.R.E. coalition actually seems to think this is a likely scenario:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

back_and_forth

San Francisco, CA

October 2007

OCT 26, 2007 10:48 AM

Fox news popularized the use of "Some people say..." or some derivitive there of. Those three magic words allow Fox to make up anything and not have any basis for what ever they say after that.. but for some reason their veiwers assume that "Some people" actually exist or are qualified experts.

"Some people say.... (insert crazy fear mongering theory here)."

RileyStClair

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

OCT 26, 2007 10:53 AM

RudieCantFail said:

True fact: It was al-Quaeda that let the dogs out.

i just spit my drink out.

oroboras

United Kingdom

March 2006

OCT 26, 2007 10:54 AM

Well, like one of my heroes (Henry Rollins) said - and I paraphrase;

"Fox News is like poor mans Comedy Central"

and

"People watch MSNBC, BBC World News and CNN for information, when they get their fill of information, they go to you guys (Fox News) for entertainment...you`re hilarious"

I`m inclined to agree with just about anything Henry Rollins says, and after watching that clip, I am justified in that decision

(I`m from the UK, so don`t have Fox news..in fact, you`d need to own a TV to watch it, so I`m doubly safe!!)

Rafi

Santa Monica, CA

January 2003

OCT 26, 2007 11:00 AM

FearTheReaper said:

"In a post-9/11 world, we have to consider all possibilities," Stakelbeck intoned. "The fires appear to be the result of a coordinated effort ... over a large area."

It should be clear by now that use of the boldened phrase immediately identifies whatever the speaker has to say as entirely devoid of value, and the speaker him/herself as, to borrow FTR's terminology, obviously borderline retarded. Following only "think of the children!", that particular phrase has become the most cringe-inducing cover-all justification for any and all worthlessly illogical and alarmist action possible. "In a post-9/11 world, we must all wear scuba gear twenty-four hours a day in the event that terrorists steal the world's water supply and suddenly release it all onto a major metropolitan area in order to drown the citizens."

back_and_forth

San Francisco, CA

October 2007

OCT 26, 2007 11:09 AM

Rafi said:

FearTheReaper said:

"In a post-9/11 world, we have to consider all possibilities," Stakelbeck intoned. "The fires appear to be the result of a coordinated effort ... over a large area."

Some people say Terrorists planned to flood Manhatten. Mandatory Scuba Gear doesn't sound so crazy now,.. does it!?

Clidna

Emo, ON

January 2005

OCT 26, 2007 11:24 AM

"In a post-9/11 world, we have to consider all possibilities," Stakelbeck intoned. "This includes the possibility that we are both paranoid, and full of shit... more on these possibilities at 11:00."

This, I might actually believe.

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