Dear Ron Paul supporters: Please shut the fuck up. You are the most annoying humans ever to walk the Earth. The fact that you do not realize your overzealous insanity is having a negative effect on undecided voters is remarkable. But, like any cult member or born again Christian, you apparently do not have the ability to really look at yourself, so I’m doing you a favor by telling you to stop it.

In a textbook case of insanity, Ron Paul is now telling people he is the only Republican who can defeat Hillary Clinton. The Paulheads will immediately post this message on every board that exists on the Internet, call friends, spray it on walls, shave it into their heads and write it in their own blood on sidewalks. Because everything Ron Jesus says is GOSPEL.

Paul has latched onto a new Rasmussen poll stating he leads Clinton among voters aged 30-49. By 47% to 44%. Wow, that’s so close it is actually meaningless. And it is in one demographic. Paul decided not to show the old people vote, because they hate him.

Right. Never mind that the entire poll shows Clinton beating Paul by a 10% margin. He trails by such a large margin because he is a fringe candidate, a raving lunatic who has zero chance of ever getting into the White House.

Let us know when you hit 4%, we’ll throw you a party. Paul supporters have become quite adept at finding some odd statistic to prove he is an actual contender. Then they drive that point home ad nauseum until you want to shoot them in the face.

Republican website Redstate.com just banned Paul supporters from their website.

Certainly it will be spun many different ways: Paul is a threat to the establishment, Paul’s message is dangerous, Paul is speaking the truth, blah blah blah. The truth is that Paul supporters are spammers and the most annoying people currently on the Internet. They destroy online polls and then freak out when the polls are taken down. It seems like everyone with a victim complex in the US found the perfect candidate.

Over the next few upcoming primary months we will be subjected to the idiot Paul fans jumping on the "stolen election" bandwagon as they continue to deny the obvious lack of popularity of their boy. Then, they will be elated when Paul decideds to run as a third party candidate. And they will be shocked when he is crushed in the general election, in which he hands the White House to the Democratic candidate.

All that will be left then is suicide. Hopefully.

FTR was working on a pilot all night and was not able to post his story at 9 AM. Please forgive him.