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Ron Paul: Annoying Cult Leader

WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 24 2007 2:00 PM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: Ron Paul



Dear Ron Paul supporters: Please shut the fuck up. You are the most annoying humans ever to walk the Earth. The fact that you do not realize your overzealous insanity is having a negative effect on undecided voters is remarkable. But, like any cult member or born again Christian, you apparently do not have the ability to really look at yourself, so I’m doing you a favor by telling you to stop it.

In a textbook case of insanity, Ron Paul is now telling people he is the only Republican who can defeat Hillary Clinton. The Paulheads will immediately post this message on every board that exists on the Internet, call friends, spray it on walls, shave it into their heads and write it in their own blood on sidewalks. Because everything Ron Jesus says is GOSPEL.

Paul has latched onto a new Rasmussen poll stating he leads Clinton among voters aged 30-49. By 47% to 44%. Wow, that’s so close it is actually meaningless. And it is in one demographic. Paul decided not to show the old people vote, because they hate him.


"Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate who can beat Hillary Clinton," said campaign Chairman Kent Snyder.


Right. Never mind that the entire poll shows Clinton beating Paul by a 10% margin. He trails by such a large margin because he is a fringe candidate, a raving lunatic who has zero chance of ever getting into the White House.


The enthusiasm of supporters, his strength in GOP straw polls, and his surprising fundraising ability have yet to make him competitive in either GOP-nomination or general-election match-ups. In Iowa, Paul attracts just 2% of the vote and he has yet to top 3% in the Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll.


Let us know when you hit 4%, we’ll throw you a party. Paul supporters have become quite adept at finding some odd statistic to prove he is an actual contender. Then they drive that point home ad nauseum until you want to shoot them in the face.

Republican website Redstate.com just banned Paul supporters from their website.


Attention, Ron Paul Supporters (Life is *REALLY* Not Fair),” begins, “Effective immediately, new users may *not* shill for Ron Paul in any way shape, form or fashion. Not in comments, not in diaries, nada. If your account is less than 6 months old, you can talk about something else, you can participate in the other threads and be your zany libertarian self all you want, but you cannot pimp Ron Paul. Those with accounts more than six months old may proceed as normal.


Certainly it will be spun many different ways: Paul is a threat to the establishment, Paul’s message is dangerous, Paul is speaking the truth, blah blah blah. The truth is that Paul supporters are spammers and the most annoying people currently on the Internet. They destroy online polls and then freak out when the polls are taken down. It seems like everyone with a victim complex in the US found the perfect candidate.

Over the next few upcoming primary months we will be subjected to the idiot Paul fans jumping on the "stolen election" bandwagon as they continue to deny the obvious lack of popularity of their boy. Then, they will be elated when Paul decideds to run as a third party candidate. And they will be shocked when he is crushed in the general election, in which he hands the White House to the Democratic candidate.

All that will be left then is suicide. Hopefully.

FTR was working on a pilot all night and was not able to post his story at 9 AM. Please forgive him.

 

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sweetbutch

sweetbutch

Sacramento, CA
March 2006

OCT 24, 2007 02:45 PM



shithowdy, the libertarians are the only republicans i can stand because they want to deregulate and decriminalize most everything. and its funny as fuck that the paulsters have such a poor budget where i live that they have taken to tagging and wheat-pasting light poles.

i dont like mainstream repubicans who would deregulate greed but criminalize lust (homosex, premarital, adultry) sloth and gluttony (drugs).

at least dr. no believes that the president does not have the power to attack another country without a declaration of war by the congressional bedwetters

and that what you put up your own bum is your owm business, ya bum.


that said, i aint voting for none of those creepublican bastids! because i believe in regulation of greed, and the robin hood taxplan.


mamet

mamet

Charleston, SC
March 2005

OCT 24, 2007 02:46 PM

Yes! Another Ron Paul thread. Here come the loonies (and the lulz)!

Squire

Squire

I'm lost
November 2003

OCT 24, 2007 02:48 PM

mamet said:
Yes! Another Ron Paul thread. Here come the loonies (and the lulz)!


<<*makes popcorn*

MisterEnrolled

MisterEnrolled

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

OCT 24, 2007 02:48 PM

jermhawk said:
All the candidates suck
I support Mickey Mouse as a write in candidate



Just don't vote, then. Save your strength for masturbation and other activities guaranteed to hand the election to someone who doesn't deserve it.

abracadabra

abracadabra

Seattle, WA
April 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:48 PM

Except , voting in an oligarchian process is kinda pointless . I'm going with Colbert if he even makes it that far .

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:50 PM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:

checkeredbob said:
Ron Paul is the best candidate Hillary is in a close race with Osama Obama for worst....FO Idiots



Are you serious? And did you really use the Osama/Obama thing? Oh, god...



Ron Paul Sean Paul Pope John Paul. . . .FO Idiots!!

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

OCT 24, 2007 02:50 PM

Virtute said:

_DictionaryGirl_ said:

checkeredbob said:
Ron Paul is the best candidate Hillary is in a close race with Osama Obama for worst....FO Idiots



Are you serious? And did you really use the Osama/Obama thing? Oh, god...



You heard him, FO idiot!

I've decided FO stands for funny odor. He's saying you smell, DG.



I just took a shower! blackeyed

Whereas I imagine Ron Paul to smell of yellowing paper and sour beer. Y/N?

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

OCT 24, 2007 02:51 PM

Squire said:

mamet said:
Yes! Another Ron Paul thread. Here come the loonies (and the lulz)!


<<*makes popcorn*



Bring on the dancing horses.

KushielsScion

KushielsScion

Gardendale, AL
May 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:55 PM

He is doing what every political candidate in the history of politics has done, saying, "I am your only hope for the future you want/need/desire." Go fuck yourself if you don't like his message. Why is it that the one candidate who seems to be different for once is the first one person people want to slap down? Fuck you and everyone of the fucking voters who will throw their vote away on a cookie cutter candidate. He really does want to make fundamental policy changes and because of that he's "crazy."

PointBlank

PointBlank

New York, NY
November 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:57 PM

GunNut said:
Fuck you and everyone of the fucking voters


Ladies and Gentleman, the official slogan of the Ron Paul campaign!

tywebb

tywebb

I'm lost
August 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:57 PM

I wouldn't vote for him, and his 'overzealous' supporters are a bit much. However, the guy has said things about the war on terror that no Dem frontrunner has the guts to say. Sure, you could say he has nothing to lose since his poll numbers are so low. I respect the guy for planting the seeds. The media and the other GOP candidates treat him like some weird old man, but his foreign policy makes far more sense than the meandering platforms put forth by the rest of the GOP and the Dems for that matter. Don't discredit the guy just because he has strange supporters and an "R" behind his name; I know the last one is easy to do.

I'll take Paul's foreign policy and Edwards's domestic policy. It's too bad neither party has a candidate that offers both of those choices.

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

OCT 24, 2007 02:58 PM

PointBlank said:

GunNut said:
Fuck you and everyone of the fucking voters


Ladies and Gentleman, the official slogan of the Ron Paul campaign!



He so crazy! love

attn_Hussein_ho

attn_Hussein_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:59 PM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:

Squire said:

mamet said:
Yes! Another Ron Paul thread. Here come the loonies (and the lulz)!


<<*makes popcorn*



Bring on the dancing horses.



ron-paul headed and all alone,
shiver and say the words
of every election promise youve heard

Zarth

Zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

OCT 24, 2007 03:01 PM

Margot_Dent

Margot_Dent

Los Angeles, CA
February 2004

OCT 24, 2007 03:02 PM

Sooooo...

GunNut said:
He is doing what every political candidate in the history of politics has done,


Why is it that the one candidate who seems to be different for once is the first one person people want to slap down?




ah hah.

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