• commentary
  • WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 24 2007 2:00 PM

Ron Paul: Annoying Cult Leader

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Ron Paul



Dear Ron Paul supporters: Please shut the fuck up. You are the most annoying humans ever to walk the Earth. The fact that you do not realize your overzealous insanity is having a negative effect on undecided voters is remarkable. But, like any cult member or born again Christian, you apparently do not have the ability to really look at yourself, so I’m doing you a favor by telling you to stop it.

In a textbook case of insanity, Ron Paul is now telling people he is the only Republican who can defeat Hillary Clinton. The Paulheads will immediately post this message on every board that exists on the Internet, call friends, spray it on walls, shave it into their heads and write it in their own blood on sidewalks. Because everything Ron Jesus says is GOSPEL.

Paul has latched onto a new Rasmussen poll stating he leads Clinton among voters aged 30-49. By 47% to 44%. Wow, that’s so close it is actually meaningless. And it is in one demographic. Paul decided not to show the old people vote, because they hate him.


"Ron Paul is the only Republican candidate who can beat Hillary Clinton," said campaign Chairman Kent Snyder.


Right. Never mind that the entire poll shows Clinton beating Paul by a 10% margin. He trails by such a large margin because he is a fringe candidate, a raving lunatic who has zero chance of ever getting into the White House.


The enthusiasm of supporters, his strength in GOP straw polls, and his surprising fundraising ability have yet to make him competitive in either GOP-nomination or general-election match-ups. In Iowa, Paul attracts just 2% of the vote and he has yet to top 3% in the Rasmussen Reports daily Presidential Tracking Poll.


Let us know when you hit 4%, we’ll throw you a party. Paul supporters have become quite adept at finding some odd statistic to prove he is an actual contender. Then they drive that point home ad nauseum until you want to shoot them in the face.

Republican website Redstate.com just banned Paul supporters from their website.


Attention, Ron Paul Supporters (Life is *REALLY* Not Fair),” begins, “Effective immediately, new users may *not* shill for Ron Paul in any way shape, form or fashion. Not in comments, not in diaries, nada. If your account is less than 6 months old, you can talk about something else, you can participate in the other threads and be your zany libertarian self all you want, but you cannot pimp Ron Paul. Those with accounts more than six months old may proceed as normal.


Certainly it will be spun many different ways: Paul is a threat to the establishment, Paul’s message is dangerous, Paul is speaking the truth, blah blah blah. The truth is that Paul supporters are spammers and the most annoying people currently on the Internet. They destroy online polls and then freak out when the polls are taken down. It seems like everyone with a victim complex in the US found the perfect candidate.

Over the next few upcoming primary months we will be subjected to the idiot Paul fans jumping on the "stolen election" bandwagon as they continue to deny the obvious lack of popularity of their boy. Then, they will be elated when Paul decideds to run as a third party candidate. And they will be shocked when he is crushed in the general election, in which he hands the White House to the Democratic candidate.

All that will be left then is suicide. Hopefully.

FTR was working on a pilot all night and was not able to post his story at 9 AM. Please forgive him.

  • PERMALINK
  • PRINT
  • Digg This
  • Email To A Friend
 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

 ... 30

Next

Comments
CherryCoke

CherryCoke

Derry, NH
May 2007

OCT 24, 2007 02:06 PM

I hear a Ron Paul commercial about a billion times a day on the radio at work.
If I didn't have to worry about getting fired I would throw the damn thing at the wall every time I hear it.

Red_Russian13

Red_Russian13

Dayton, OH
February 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:06 PM

Ron Paul is a fucking moron, and you're right on about his cult-like followers. Those people are just plain weird. I've dealt with some cults (Romney's bunch) and Paul's followers fit the bill nicely. Thankfully, he'll be lucky if he garners 2% of jack shit.

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

OCT 24, 2007 02:09 PM

worth the wait.
god i hate ron paul cultists.

freshprncebelair

freshprncebelair

Ellicott City, MD
June 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:15 PM



The truth is that Paul supporters are spammers and the most annoying people currently on the Internet. They destroy online polls and then freak out when the polls are taken down.



Sucks when you are faced against an almost religious following who is incredibly organized.

Then again, it's sort of like Ron Paul is the iPhone of presidential candidates

Uncognitive

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY
May 2003

OCT 24, 2007 02:21 PM

freshprncebelair said:
Then again, it's sort of like Ron Paul is the iPhone of presidential candidates



No, because the iPhone actually makes sense.

Ron Paul is the Snakes On A Plane of presidential candidates. He's insanely popular on the internet, but unfortunately you can (theoretically) only vote once in a primary.

wheezy_e

wheezy_e

Boulder City, NV
April 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:22 PM

This pilot, (s)he was hot? cook you breakfast?

If I were Ron I'd be saying "You can vote for me knowing that I absolutely positively will never do one single action as your president that you would take issue with. That goes for every one of you, including those who disagree with each other. If you want an assurance right now today that for the next four years the candidate you voted for would not even have the possibility of going back on a single promise, then Mr. and Mrs. America- I Ron Paul, am YOUR candidate."

frenaldo

frenaldo

Cambridge, MA
June 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:30 PM

right on... ron paul is a douche: just another deluded libertarian who thinks the gov't should be dismantled and corporations handed all power

checkeredbob

checkeredbob

Wilmington, DE
January 2007

OCT 24, 2007 02:30 PM

Ron Paul is the best candidate Hillary is in a close race with Osama Obama for worst....FO Idiots

StopSnitchin

StopSnitchin

Hudson, NH
February 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:32 PM

and that is why Imperialim will prevail...

Um, what is the talk about the people taking action and not just letting the governments run our lives???

Yea...I thought so. Once again you have all been brainwashed by the majority that YOUR 2 cents don't count. GOD BLESS AMERICA. Now go to Church and buy something for Christmas on the way. It's around the corner you know puke

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

OCT 24, 2007 02:36 PM

StopSnitchin said:
and that is why Imperialim will prevail...

Um, what is the talk about the people taking action and not just letting the governments run our lives???

Yea...I thought so. Once again you have all been brainwashed by the majority that YOUR 2 cents don't count. GOD BLESS AMERICA. Now go to Church and buy something for Christmas on the way. It's around the corner you know puke



I like how you asked a question, then in your own post responded with "yeah I thought so." You do realize doing it in the same post does not give anyone a chance to answer and just confirms that you people are insane, right?

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

OCT 24, 2007 02:37 PM

checkeredbob said:
Ron Paul is the best candidate Hillary is in a close race with Osama Obama for worst....FO Idiots



Yeah, but this isn't about Hillary or Obama. It's about you and why you are deranged.

_DictionaryGirl_

_DictionaryGirl_

NEWSWIRE

San Diego, CA

OCT 24, 2007 02:38 PM

checkeredbob said:
Ron Paul is the best candidate Hillary is in a close race with Osama Obama for worst....FO Idiots



Are you serious? And did you really use the Osama/Obama thing? Oh, god...

Uncognitive

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY
May 2003

OCT 24, 2007 02:41 PM

StopSnitchin said:
Um, what is the talk about the people taking action and not just letting the governments run our lives???



Yeah, nothing says "people taking action and not just letting the government(s) run our lives" like casting a vote for a presidential candidate.

Virtute

Virtute

Brooklyn, NY
July 2007

OCT 24, 2007 02:42 PM

_DictionaryGirl_ said:

checkeredbob said:
Ron Paul is the best candidate Hillary is in a close race with Osama Obama for worst....FO Idiots



Are you serious? And did you really use the Osama/Obama thing? Oh, god...



You heard him, FO idiot!

I've decided FO stands for funny odor. He's saying you smell, DG.

jermhawk

jermhawk

Tidioute, PA
December 2004

OCT 24, 2007 02:42 PM

All the candidates suck
I support Mickey Mouse as a write in candidate

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

 ... 30

Next

featured interviews