While my hat is not presently in the ring, I should also point out that it is not on my head. So where's that hat? (Hint: John McCain was seen passing one at a gas station to fuel up the Straight Talk Express.)

Others point to my new bestseller, ''I Am America (And So Can You!)'' noting that many candidates test the waters with a book first. Just look at Barack Obama, John Edwards or O. J. Simpson.
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Our nation is at a Fork in the Road. Some say we should go Left; some say go Right. I say, ''Doesn't this thing have a reverse gear?'' Let's back this country up to a time before there were forks in the road -- or even roads. Or forks, for that matter. I want to return to a simpler America where we ate our meat off the end of a sharpened stick.

Let me regurgitate: I know why you want me to run, and I hear your clamor. I share Americans' nostalgia for an era when you not only could tell a man by the cut of his jib, but the jib industry hadn't yet fled to Guangdong. And I don't intend to tease you for weeks the way Newt Gingrich did, saying that if his supporters raised $30 million, he would run for president. I would run for 15 million. Cash.

Comedian Stephen Colbert insisted on Sunday that his ambition to run for president was no joke -- then joked he would consider disgraced Republican Sen. Larry Craig as a vice presidential running mate.

"I don't want to be president. I want to run for president. There's a difference," the host of Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report" said in a television interview.

Hopefully there’s a good campaign finance lawyer out there in Colbert Nation, because its leader could be headed for a showdown with the Federal Election Commission.

Comedy Central star Stephen Colbert may have been joking this week when he announced he’s running for president. But his declaration and subsequent celebration of his candidacy — heavy on the affected bloviation that has made him a pop culture phenomenon — are raising some potentially serious legal issues.

If he continues moving toward a presidential campaign, particularly if he, or Comedy Central, keeps spending money exploring and promoting by hyping it on his nightly half-hour news parody show, he could get himself and his network in trouble for violating election laws, including those barring corporate campaign contributions.

“You don’t get a different set of rules because you’re running as a joke,” said Marc Elias, a leading Washington election lawyer who represents Democratic candidates.

“You may get a different set of rules because it’s a joke and you’re not really running,” said Elias, who stressed he was not speaking for any client. “But if it isn’t a joke, then there may be any number of issues.”
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The costs of producing and airing Colbert’s show this week, dedicated largely to hyping his candidacy, could be construed as so-called “in-kind” contributions from Comedy Central, Dawson suggested.

It’s illegal for corporations to contribute money, labor or anything of value to federal candidates, thanks to a century-old provision intended to prevent corporate fat cats from bankrolling candidates.

On his show Tuesday, Colbert made it official — or at least as official as it gets on his show.

“Nation,” he told his audience, as he is wont to call it, “I shall seek the office of the president of the United States.” He blew kisses, stood from behind his anchor desk and bowed, as red, white and blue balloons fell from the studio rafters and the words “I’m doing it!” flashed on the screen.

On the next night’s show, he signed the paperwork, but only after announcing he was crossing out part of an oath pledging not to “knowingly violate any election law.”

His best defense, though, according to an election lawyer who requested anonymity because he did not want to risk incurring Colbert’s wrath, would be admitting that his “campaign” is for entertainment only and that he’s not spending money to influence an election — the trigger for federal campaign laws.

If he fesses up to that, the lawyer said, he could argue that any effort to limit his spending on his candidacy would violate “his rights of expression as a satirist.”