I hate bugs and I hate robots. Now some asshole seems to have created insect robots. Why don’t they just blow up the planet? Robots are pure evil and in case anyone hasn’t noticed movies over the past few decades, they will eventually kill us all. It’s inevitable, especially when you make them small and give them wings. Unfortunately, protesters claim the winged bot demons are here.

They are alive and mechanical. They are “robotic fliers” and they are going to kill you. The insect drones are high-tech surveillance tools that have been seen at political protests in Washington and New York. Although, no agency has claimed the robobugs.

Uh, what? After I finish this article, I’m going to blow my brains out. I figure it will be more pleasant than the coming insect robot revolution. I always pictured fighting for my life in storm drains, using my warning cats (I like cats) to alert me to intrusive robots. But those robots are supposed to be large and take the shape of humans. Sure, there would be the occasional spider shaped robot, crawling around with a video camera, but my cats would quickly destroy them. Flying insect robots obviously fuck up everything. Now a robot just flies into my storm drain, armed with its tiny stinger full of deadly poison. Or worse, a substance that only paralyzes my cats and me. Then the humanoid robots just saunter in, take me back to the lab and attempt to manpregnate me with cyborgs. Totally fucked up.

Some, however, do not believe that the tiny airborne robots exist.

Actually, you’ll know because one will have flown into your ear and taken control of you body. Idiot.

The CIA developed the “insectothopter” in the 70’s. It used a tiny gasoline engine, four wings and looked like a dragonfly. But it was taken out of commission because it couldn’t handle crosswinds. And that was the seventies! Of course they have tiny flying robots now.

Even more disturbing, we have created “cyborg insects.”

Great. Just fucking great. We have cameras everywhere, constantly watching people, but I never thought I would have to be concerned about tiny flying cameras. This brings surveillance to an entirely different level. We here in America tend to value our privacy and I’m pretty sure the Founding Fathers never covered flying insect robots in The Constitution. I don’t think Thomas Jefferson ever looked at James Madison and said,

Hey, what if somebody makes tiny eavesdropping robots to fly above protesters?

Wow, good point, Tommy. We should cover insect robots, as well as bug cyborgs.

Welcome to the invasion of privacy insect robot era. It's not goint to be pretty. I’ve been violated too many times by regular bugs and understand how intrusive they can be. I give it 30 years before we are a slave race working for insect robots.


FearTheReaper does not welcome our new insectobot warlords.