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You Shouldn’t Be A Teacher, Dipshit

TUESDAY OCTOBER 9 2007 9:00 AM

Submitted by FearTheReaper. Edited By erin_broadley.

TAGS: Guntard, Shirley Katz



Poor Shirley Katz. She’s an English teacher at South Medford High School in Oregon and she can't bring her gun to school. Katz says she needs to carry a gun because she fears her ex-husband will try to harm her. Also, she is worried about a student shooting up the place, because it happens so frequently. I think around 50% of schools have a shooting every year.

This is pretty simple: Shirley Katz is a fucking idiot. If I was a parent, I would be quite concerned that my son’s teacher is worried she might be murdered at any moment. Hey, Shirley, think of the kids. Maybe the answer isn’t a gun, but rather for you to take a leave of absence, or just find yourself a job in the office, away from the kids. Am I penalizing you for having a horrible ex-husband? Fuck yes! Having a murder magnet in a school is a pretty shitty idea. Don’t involve the kids in your poor life decisions. You married and divorced the idiot. That’s your responsibility. How about you straighten out your potential murder problems and then come back to school?

Unless of course, there are not actually any potential murdery husband problems in the future. That is what Katz’s husband claims.


She's just scamming everybody. As soon as this thing started ... I called the principal at her high school and told her ... I am not coming to your school. I am not a threat to her. I have no desire to hurt her.


Katz already has a permit to carry a concealed weapon, but the school district bars teachers from bringing guns to school. Katz is challenging the rule in court and will have her day in front of a judge on Thursday.

Apparently, Katz has been also practicing in her small, little brain how she would handle a Columbine type attack.


She practices with her 9mm Glock regularly and has thought about what she would do if she had to confront a gunman. She would be sure students were locked in nearby offices out of the line of fire, and she would be ready with her pistol.


Wow, that sounds incredibly unrealistic. Would you also, in a calm, loving voice, look at the class president and say,


    “Remember me if I don’t come back. And don’t ever forget about Shakespeare.”


Too bad Katz’s little fantasy shoot ‘em up would be ruined because she would be the first to die. Why? Because she’s got a fucking gun and everyone in the world knows it. Look who just made the top of Dylan Kelbold’s list! Boom, now where are the jocks?

Sadly, Katz realizes it.


Even if she wins, Katz said, she may not bring the gun to school.

"The whole point of carrying concealed is no one should know you're carrying," she said. "So I feel like my carrying concealed on campus now sets me up as a target."


No shit, weirdo. Seriously, go get a job where you aren’t around kids. You are way too unstable and paranoid. A farm would be good for you, or maybe the war.

The school has this crazy idea that life is not a western or a Jodie Foster movie and insists that schools are actually safer when guns are not lying around in a teacher’s purse.

Most importantly, the kids are not big on the idea.


Some South Medford students say they are uncomfortable with the idea of a teacher carrying a gun, especially since they cannot bring even scissors to school.

"I totally understand she wants to protect herself," said Lauren Forderer, 16, a junior. "But I don't agree she should bring her problems around 2,000 other people."


But, but, Miss Katz could try to shoot an intruder, miss and blow a hole in your tummy. What's wrong with that?

Seriously, should a 16-year-old be smarter and less crazy than her teacher?

 

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thatoneguy23

thatoneguy23

Ewa Beach, HI
October 2005

OCT 09, 2007 09:13 AM

You know, I swear FTR, your tongue-in-cheek cynicism always puts a smile on my face.

Well done, hell I'm surprised the NRA hasn't jumped on this one.

Pheme

Pheme

USA
August 2007

OCT 09, 2007 09:15 AM

Wow, if you bring in a apple for the teacher will she try to shoot it off your head?

Maybe she needs to work in the postal service?

d'oh!

freshprncebelair

freshprncebelair

Ellicott City, MD
June 2004

OCT 09, 2007 09:19 AM



Katz already has a permit to carry a concealed weapon, but the school district bars teachers from bringing guns to school.



Solution: Do it anyways.

If she conceals it well in accordance with anti-brandishing laws, the only time they will find out she is carrying is if she really needs to draw.

Edit: Risking your job is worth it if you truly believe you are risking your life by not carrying

feyd

feyd

Albuquerque, NM
January 2003

OCT 09, 2007 09:25 AM

Ok, she's not the best or brightest, but here are some things to think about:

In Israel, where terrorism is a tangible every day threat, where the bus you ride every day could blow up with you in it, they don't have school shootings. Not in almost three decades. Know why? They arm their teachers.

How far would those kids in Columbine have gotten if every teacher in the building had a pistol and knew how to use it? (using Israel as an example, it should be noted that military service is mandatory for adults in that country, so the vast majority of the populace has a working knowledge of firearms)

Does anyone think school shootings are a thing of the past? Have you ever heard anyone present evidence and say, "We'll be seeing less and less school shootings as the years go on, believe me!" No, no one says that because it's not true. No thinks things are getting better, and optimism, while nice, will not change that.

People these days don't even want School Resource Officers (police officers assigned to schools) to carry guns. Honestly, that's not the answer. It's a touchy issue, and unfortunately the woman in the article is not the best example. She's not the reason why we should throw out the idea entirely.

TheFox

TheFox

Carrboro, NC
February 2006

OCT 09, 2007 09:25 AM

...

there are no words.

I'm a teacher, and am baffled at why she feels the need to introduce the threat to protect herself from it.

At least she figured out that telling everyone about it makes it a little less "concealed." She's still an idiot, but, sadly, she's not the only one.

I seem to remember a segment on "The Colbert Report", where Stephen Colbert said, "The only way to keep guns out of our classrooms is to put guns in our classrooms." It was funny, then, but now I'm scared that others actually believe it...

Missy

Missy

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

OCT 09, 2007 09:27 AM

I am so happy I get to read your stories every morning.

xoox
-missy

TheFox

TheFox

Carrboro, NC
February 2006

OCT 09, 2007 09:27 AM

freshprncebelair said:


Katz already has a permit to carry a concealed weapon, but the school district bars teachers from bringing guns to school.



Solution: Do it anyways.

If she conceals it well in accordance with anti-brandishing laws, the only time they will find out she is carrying is if she really needs to draw.

Edit: Risking your job is worth it if you truly believe you are risking your life by not carrying



Most schools have signs on the doors that say, "no concealed weapons." It is illegal, and while I realize that nobody would know unless she actually had to use it, is it really worth the risk? And some schools do use metal detectors...

TheFox

TheFox

Carrboro, NC
February 2006

OCT 09, 2007 09:31 AM

feyd said:
...In Israel, where terrorism is a tangible every day threat, where the bus you ride every day could blow up with you in it, they don't have school shootings. Not in almost three decades. Know why? They arm their teachers.



I think we can all agree this is not a fair analogy for many reasons.

I, personally, do not feel comfortable using a firearm (though I would in the event that I needed to and was properly trained). I don't think handgun training needs to be a part of teaching licensure, and I really don't trust most teachers I know to handle a gun properly, let alone keep it away from the kids.

wink84

wink84

Fulton, MO
October 2007

OCT 09, 2007 09:39 AM

Why stop at school? What about Church? The Library? Weddings?

Skywisdom

Skywisdom

Portland, OR
December 2005

OCT 09, 2007 09:43 AM

feyd said:
Ok, she's not the best or brightest, but here are some things to think about:

In Israel, where terrorism is a tangible every day threat, where the bus you ride every day could blow up with you in it, they don't have school shootings. Not in almost three decades. Know why? They arm their teachers.

How far would those kids in Columbine have gotten if every teacher in the building had a pistol and knew how to use it? (using Israel as an example, it should be noted that military service is mandatory for adults in that country, so the vast majority of the populace has a working knowledge of firearms)

Does anyone think school shootings are a thing of the past? Have you ever heard anyone present evidence and say, "We'll be seeing less and less school shootings as the years go on, believe me!" No, no one says that because it's not true. No thinks things are getting better, and optimism, while nice, will not change that.

People these days don't even want School Resource Officers (police officers assigned to schools) to carry guns. Honestly, that's not the answer. It's a touchy issue, and unfortunately the woman in the article is not the best example. She's not the reason why we should throw out the idea entirely.



Your reasoning is impeccable. We should prevent violence by brining out more weapons. That has always worked well, you are right. And correlation equals causality, so the Israel thing really works well too. Brilliant.

JohnnyForeigner

JohnnyForeigner

United Kingdom
July 2003

OCT 09, 2007 09:46 AM

wink84 said:
Why stop at school? What about Church? The Library? Weddings?



I never go anywhere without my mutated anthrax. For duck hunting ARRR!!!

attn_Hussein_ho

attn_Hussein_ho

Brooklyn, NY
February 2004

OCT 09, 2007 09:50 AM

freshprncebelair said:


Katz already has a permit to carry a concealed weapon, but the school district bars teachers from bringing guns to school.



Solution: Do it anyways.

If she conceals it well in accordance with anti-brandishing laws, the only time they will find out she is carrying is if she really needs to draw.

Edit: Risking your job is worth it if you truly believe you are risking your life by not carrying



nice woosh dude.

A. her life doesnt depend on having that job. school tells her not to carry, she shouldnt carry.
B. horrible example is set for young adults. guns should have rules around them, especially in a freaking school. her kids shouldnt see an authority figure breaking the rules, esecially one important to public safety.

feyd

feyd

Albuquerque, NM
January 2003

OCT 09, 2007 09:51 AM

Skywisdom said:
Your reasoning is impeccable. We should prevent violence by brining out more weapons. That has always worked well, you are right. And correlation equals causality, so the Israel thing really works well too. Brilliant.




All I am saying is that it worked in Israel. It's an actual working model that prevents violence in their schools. I also did note that their teachers are properly trained in the use and response to force.

Based on your statement here, why not take guns away from cops? Having these heavily armed guys just drive around our neighborhoods is just asking for trouble!

ki1

ki1

Ireland
September 2007

OCT 09, 2007 09:52 AM

well in ireland all the teacher carry's is a hurley stick. good for whacking your noggin. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurley_(stick). kept me in toe i tell ya.

Colinism

Colinism

Atlanta, GA
July 2005

OCT 09, 2007 09:53 AM

Skywisdom said:

feyd said:
Ok, she's not the best or brightest, but here are some things to think about:

In Israel, where terrorism is a tangible every day threat, where the bus you ride every day could blow up with you in it, they don't have school shootings. Not in almost three decades. Know why? They arm their teachers.

How far would those kids in Columbine have gotten if every teacher in the building had a pistol and knew how to use it? (using Israel as an example, it should be noted that military service is mandatory for adults in that country, so the vast majority of the populace has a working knowledge of firearms)

Does anyone think school shootings are a thing of the past? Have you ever heard anyone present evidence and say, "We'll be seeing less and less school shootings as the years go on, believe me!" No, no one says that because it's not true. No thinks things are getting better, and optimism, while nice, will not change that.

People these days don't even want School Resource Officers (police officers assigned to schools) to carry guns. Honestly, that's not the answer. It's a touchy issue, and unfortunately the woman in the article is not the best example. She's not the reason why we should throw out the idea entirely.



Your reasoning is impeccable. We should prevent violence by brining out more weapons. That has always worked well, you are right. And correlation equals causality, so the Israel thing really works well too. Brilliant.



In this case she should have the right to carry a weapon for protection. Everyone has the right to defend themselves by whatever means they deem necessary. HOWEVER violence is a societal issue not a gun issue. Violence happens with or without weapons, the weapon used simply determines the outcome of that violence. If there are teachers armed with weapons, or police stationed in the school eventually one of them WILL end up in a situation where they will have to shoot a student. without armed teachers or police it simply falls to the students doing the shooting with no one being able to stop them. Massacres are harder to commit when the people you are trying to murder can fight back on equal terms.

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