The Environmental Protection Agency wants to kill our unborn babies and watch us mutate. That is the only reason I can come up with that explains the agency’s decision to allow a new pesticide, methyl iodide, to be used on crops. The decision seems to go against why the agency was created in the first place, but hey, we’re living in the Bush years. Up is now down.

Okay, so explain this:

Yep, we definitely should get that shit out there. I don’t know what could possibly go wrong. The EPA can’t say there weren’t warned. Last month, 54 scientists, including 5 Nobel laureates, sent a letter that included a scary message.

The pesticide will be used mainly for strawberry fields in California and Florida. Methyl iodide will replace methyl bromide, which can no longer be used because it damages the ozone layer. That leads one to the obvious question: Why do strawberries hate us?

The EPA disagrees with the scientists and has approved the pesticide to be used for one year. The agency will also create “buffer zones” to protect neighbors and farm hands. I’m going to go out a limb here and say that if something needs a “buffer zone,” then I don’t want it used.

Methyl iodide will be sold under the name Midas, in what may be the most ironic name of all time. Midas has been approved for use on strawberries, tomatoes, peppers, ornamentals, turf, trees and vines. The pesticide is injected into soil before crops are planted. It kills insects and diseases without leaving a residue on crops, but can evaporate and drift into neighborhoods and groundwater.

Thankfully, Midas would still need to be approved by the California Department of Pesticide Regulation, an agency that is a bit harsher with approvals than the EPA. Hopefully, California will make a more educated decision than the EPA, because I don’t want my DNA to mutate.

Robert Bergman, the Gerald E. K. Branch Distinguished Professor at UC Berkeley's chemistry department explained why Midas is very, very bad.

I’d like to take a pass on the mutation thing. I’d also like to kick someone at the EPA in the nuts. The scientists actually went to the EPA for a meeting to explain why Midas was bad news, but the EPA had already made their decision.

Yeah, but the EPA had a “thorough analyses” that lasted four years. Also, the company that makes Midas used to have a guy named Elin Miller as their chief executive. He now is a top official at the…EPA. Hi, George Bush! I thought your filthy little hands would pop up somewhere! George is big on putting people from the corporate world into positions that are supposed to protect us from the corporate world. The manufacturer spent $11 million over eight years attempting to get Midas approved. Turns out they only had to call their buddy, George.

The results are obvious. Now we will live in this world.