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  • THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 20 2007 9:00 AM

Republicans Complete The Douchebag Trifecta



Yesterday was a great day for horrible people. Congratulations to the Republicans in Congress for stopping three major bills with filibusters. The bills would have helped soldiers, restored habeas corpus and given Washington DC representation. How terrible would that have been?

Lets start with how the Republicans just shoved their fists up our soldier’s anuses. Senator Jim Webb sponsored legislation that would have given our troops a break from the grueling tours that are taking a heavy toll.


Webb's legislation would have required that troops spend as much time at home training with their units as they spend deployed in Iraq or Afghanistan. Members of the National Guard or Reserve would be guaranteed three years at home before being sent back.


Currently, soldiers are spending 15 months in combat with 12 months home. Wouldn’t want to ruin that fun for them. The Republicans are foolishly doing the bidding of the White House and rejecting sanity and reason. Quite simply, they are George’s bitches.


Hagel, R-Neb., said the White House also "has been very effective at making this a loyalty test for the Republican Party."


Stay loyal boys, it worked so well in the last election for you. At least Republicans can take solace in the fact that when our soldiers come home we will deny them their mental health benefits.

Next up on the Republican hate train, the filibuster of a bill to restore habeas corpus for "enemy combatants."


In 2006, Congress passed and Bush signed into law the Military Commissions Act, which established a military-run tribunal system for prosecuting enemy combatants. The provision barring habeas corpus petitions means that only detainees selected for trial are able to confront charges against them, leaving most military detainees in custody without a chance to plead their case.


Can’t see how anything could go wrong with that system. Our president has shown himself to be an honorable man who would never cause anyone harm based on his own distorted beliefs. Currently, he only has to designate someone as an “enemy combatant” and then toss him in prison. Game over. It’s kind of like a medieval dungeon. I say that because habeas corpus was born in 1215. It only took 800 years for a president to come along and tell us that we’ve been wrong that whole time.

There used to be a worldwide belief that America was a nation of laws and people could not be “disappeared” by the government. People never imagined that America was a place where someone could be locked up without trial indefinitely. Those days are over. Nice to see Republicans have taken a page from Saddam Hussein and that they aren’t backing down. Yay!

And in their final stroke of being complete and utter douchebags, Republicans filibustered a bill that would have allowed a city of mostly black people, called Washington DC, to have a vote vote in Congress. So they get to enjoy taxation without representation! How fucking great is that? Did I mention the population is mostly black people?

Republicans actually claimed the bill was unconstitutional.


Minority Leader Mitch McConnell hailed the Senate’s action, declaring the bill was “clearly and unambiguously unconstitutional.” He added, “If the residents of the District are to get a member for themselves, there remains a remedy: amend the Constitution.”


Yes! Apparently Republicans did not realize that stance made them astounding hypocritical douchebags, because they had just taken a steaming dump on the Constitution when they filibustered the habeas corpus bill. Oh, and the DC unconstitutional question was taken into account when the bill was written.


The Constitution also gives Congress power over the District of Columbia, the nation’s capital. And the bill-contained provisions expediting a Supreme Court review of its constitutionality.

“We’re prepared to accept whatever the Supreme Court says”


Woudn't want the experts in the Supreme Court to make that ruling.

But it’s not about the Constitution or the rule of law is it? It’s about the party and making sure their team wins. Whether that means they’re fucking over our soldiers or fucking over black people, it’s Republican first, American second. Right now the GOP cunts are on pace to triple the previous record of using the filibuster in the modern era. Meanwhile, they squeal about “nothing getting done.”

I don’t know what else to say, except “Suck it, you fucking demons.”

 

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Comments
Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 21, 2007 12:58 PM

Uncognitive said:

Reaver said:
You are aware that Lincoln suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War?


Hey, ever see that movie Memento, where this guy had no short term memory and kept forgetting things?

Like, for example, when he'd read a three-page long internet discussion/flame-fest that included seemingly endless paragraphs dealing with Lincoln, habeas corpus and the Civil War, he'd then tragically forget all about it and feel compelled to mention that Lincoln suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War.


Have you ever seen the movie Memento? It's about a man who has no short-term memory.

And just for the record, you know, Lincoln suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War.

joker_

joker_

Minneapolis, MN
October 2005

SEP 21, 2007 01:02 PM

Who is this LINCOLN and why is he at war with AMERICA?

Uncognitive

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY
May 2003

SEP 21, 2007 01:02 PM

Zarth said:
Just for the record, you know, LINCOLN suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War.



William Howard Taft used to cook and eat the babies of European immigrants because he thought their juices would make his moustache more luxurious, FYI.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

SEP 21, 2007 01:02 PM

I was trying to research this, but does anybody know if any other presidents have ever suspended habeas corpus?

Uncognitive

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY
May 2003

SEP 21, 2007 01:08 PM

FearTheReaper said:
I was trying to research this, but does anybody know if any other presidents have ever suspended habeas corpus?



One could argue that FDR effectively did as part of the internment of Japanese-Americans during WW2, but Lincoln is the only President to officially announce the suspension.

Oh, and Bush, but he at least asked Congress to do it for him.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

SEP 21, 2007 01:10 PM

Uncognitive said:

FearTheReaper said:
I was trying to research this, but does anybody know if any other presidents have ever suspended habeas corpus?



One could argue that FDR effectively did as part of the internment of Japanese-Americans during WW2, but Lincoln is the only President to officially announce the suspension.

Oh, and Bush, but he at least asked Congress to do it for him.



Did the Supreme Court ever rule on the internment of the Japanese-Americans?

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 21, 2007 01:10 PM

Uncognitive said:

Zarth said:
Just for the record, you know, LINCOLN suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War.


William Howard Taft used to cook and eat the babies of European immigrants because he thought their juices would make his moustache more luxurious, FYI.


I know, that happened to my great uncle Slavoj.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

SEP 21, 2007 01:20 PM

Zarth said:

Uncognitive said:

Zarth said:
Just for the record, you know, LINCOLN suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War.


William Howard Taft used to cook and eat the babies of European immigrants because he thought their juices would make his moustache more luxurious, FYI.


I know, that happened to my great uncle Slavoj.



When he was a baby?

Uncognitive

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY
May 2003

SEP 21, 2007 01:25 PM

FearTheReaper said:

Zarth said:

Uncognitive said:

Zarth said:
Just for the record, you know, LINCOLN suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War.


William Howard Taft used to cook and eat the babies of European immigrants because he thought their juices would make his moustache more luxurious, FYI.


I know, that happened to my great uncle Slavoj.



When he was a baby?



There's a reason they called him a great uncle, apparently.

Oh, and the SCOTUS gave the thumbs up to putting Japanese-Americans in prison camps in 1944 but another less fucked-up ruling on the matter was the result of a habeas corpus petition, so this is where I say "I'm not a lawyer".

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 21, 2007 01:27 PM

FearTheReaper said:

Zarth said:

Uncognitive said:

Zarth said:
Just for the record, you know, LINCOLN suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War.


William Howard Taft used to cook and eat the babies of European immigrants because he thought their juices would make his moustache more luxurious, FYI.


I know, that happened to my great uncle Slavoj.


When he was a baby?


Yeah. Twice, actually.

fountainofdreams

fountainofdreams

Batavia, IL
January 2005

SEP 21, 2007 01:45 PM

aaaand this thread has passed the point of no return.

null

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

SEP 21, 2007 01:48 PM

oyaji said:
And it was not a suspension of habeas corpus. "It" meaning the internment of Japanese-Americans during WWII. It wasn't effectively a suspension, either. Suspension of habeas corpus means that the courts do not have jurisdiction to examine the legality (and, therefore, adjudicate a a challenge to such legality) of an arrest or other detention. The courts did have such jurisdiction during WWII and exercised it, hence the Korematsu case, among others.



It should also be noted that Korematsu is almost universally reviled as one of the worst decisions of all time. Every sitting Court justice has condemned it.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

SEP 21, 2007 02:02 PM

Zarth said:

FearTheReaper said:

Zarth said:

Uncognitive said:

Zarth said:
Just for the record, you know, LINCOLN suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War.


William Howard Taft used to cook and eat the babies of European immigrants because he thought their juices would make his moustache more luxurious, FYI.


I know, that happened to my great uncle Slavoj.


When he was a baby?


Yeah. Twice, actually.



Sounds like he was a great guy.

Uncognitive

Uncognitive

Brooklyn, NY
May 2003

SEP 21, 2007 02:07 PM

Subrosa said:

oyaji said:
And it was not a suspension of habeas corpus. "It" meaning the internment of Japanese-Americans during WWII. It wasn't effectively a suspension, either. Suspension of habeas corpus means that the courts do not have jurisdiction to examine the legality (and, therefore, adjudicate a a challenge to such legality) of an arrest or other detention. The courts did have such jurisdiction during WWII and exercised it, hence the Korematsu case, among others.



It should also be noted that Korematsu is almost universally reviled as one of the worst decisions of all time. Every sitting Court justice has condemned it.



While I can't even begin to afford law school, I would so audit a class called "Worst Supreme Court Decisions Ever".

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 21, 2007 02:09 PM

FearTheReaper said:

Zarth said:

FearTheReaper said:

Zarth said:

Uncognitive said:

Zarth said:
Just for the record, you know, LINCOLN suspended habeas corpus during the Civil War.


William Howard Taft used to cook and eat the babies of European immigrants because he thought their juices would make his moustache more luxurious, FYI.


I know, that happened to my great uncle Slavoj.


When he was a baby?


Yeah. Twice, actually.


Sounds like he was a great guy.


I guess. He certainly had some good stories. He used to come by and gouge out our eyes with a fork when we were kids, though. And once he eviscerated my sister Marta. Set me on fire a couple times, too.

Granted, that was still nicer than Grandpa.

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