In what may be the lamest sex scandal of all time, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho, was arrested in June by a Minneapolis airport cop for “disorderly conduct.” The undercover officer thought Craig was sending signals indicating he was looking for sex in an airport bathroom. Man on man sex. Craig pleaded guilty, paid a $575 fine and was put on probation for one year. The details of the arrest are amazingly retarded.

The bathroom is apparently known as a place where fellas go to have sex with other fellas. Airport police were conducting a sting and had made “numerous arrests” before they bagged the Senator. The police report is both pathetic and weird.

First the report says that Craig entered a stall next to the policeman and put his luggage against the door. The officer claimed that is what gay men do.

Right! That is exactly what gay men do. Also, I do it because men usually pee on the floor around the toilet and I don’t want my luggage to smell like urine.

Anyone else getting a boner at this point? This is some awesome literary porn.

Next Craig “swiped his hand beneath the stall divider several times.” That was enough for the law. The cop showed his ID. Craig was not pleased.

At the airport police station, Craig tried to explain the situation.

Honest enough. When I shit I usually spread my legs at 90-degree angles, but I am also a lizard. Craig was released after 45 minutes and he went on his way. Poor guy must have thought he got away with it, until someone leaked it to Roll Call yesterday.

This is one of the creepiest arrests I have ever heard of. I know gays are targeted all the time with shit like this, but the details are disturbing. How tapping your foot would ever hold up in court as lewd behavior is beyond me. The purpose of stings like this one, are to scare men with public exposure and hope they take a guilty plea. Looks pretty effective.

Even more disturbing is a story in today’s Idaho Statesman detailing a five-month investigation into Craig’s alleged homosexuality. The paper interviewed over 300 people, who knew Craig from his boyhood days, through his time in DC. Over all that time reporters found one man who said he had sex with Craig and two who said Craig hit on them. Should we burn Craig at the stake now or tomorrow?

People have had suspicions about Craig since 1982 when he made a very unwise political move. A Congressional page was claiming three Congressmen had sex with pages. Newspapers questioned Craig, just as they questioned every Congressman. A reporter who was working in DC at the time explained how Craig brought heat down on himself.

Fair enough. Dude might be gay. But a five month investigation? Nice use of your resources during this time of war and massive corruption. I don’t expect much from Idaho, but this is a new low.

Craig does have a record of voting against gay rights. In 2006 he supported a State amendment that bars gay marriage and civil unions. He also supported an amendment to the US Constitution in 2004 to ban gay marriage. Craig is against extending civil rights protection to gays in the workplace and opposes allowing homosexuals in the military. So, clearly the man would be a hypocrite if he were exposed as a gay man.

But launching a five month investigation and arresting him in a bathroom stall for tapping his foot has swung me over to his side. Leave the dude the fuck alone. The newspaper went as far as to interview Craig in front of his wife, where a tape was played of a man claiming he had sex with the Senator.

Jiminy God? Okay, that is pretty gay.