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  • SUNDAY AUGUST 26 2007 9:00 AM

Teen Breaks Through Australian Anal Wall

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Australia, NetAlert, Porn



Australia is retarded. There, I said it. The whole continent. All the people living on it. Retarded. Except for one teenager. He is smart. How could I reach such a conclusion about an entire continent? Because of the way Australia is handling porn. Sweet, sweet porn.

The Australian government created an $84 million porn filter for the Internet The NetAlert filter was released on Tuesday and the country rejoiced because Australia’s children we so very much safer. Kids could go back to being kids and would no longer have to endure the relentless thrusting of cocks in and out of vaginas on their monitors. Australia had managed to do what American politicians cannot: Turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom.

The country’s new Leave It To Beaver bliss lasted about 30 minutes. That is how long it took 16-year-old student Tom Wood to break through the porn filter. That is $84 million well spent.


Tom, who attends a Melbourne private school, can deactivate the filter after several clicks.

His method ensures the software's toolbar icon is not deleted.

He can leave his parents believing the filter is still working.


Thirty minutes. I’m going to go on record here and say that governments should not waste money on programs like porn filters. Any software creator who is even slightly talented will not work at a low paying government job when they can make much more money at a private company. The result is a porn filter that can be cracked by teenagers, who are probably savvier than the idiot who created the system anyway.

Also, maybe parents should be the porn filters. Why the fuck does the government have to be involved in whether or not kids see sweet, sweet porn? I find government involvement in who sees porn to be more obscene than a cock penetrating a woman’s anus over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Oof. Here’s an idea: Keep the computer in the living room, or another space where kids can always be watched. Throw your own software on your own computer to keep the kids off Suicide Girls. The fact that governments needs to keep kids from watching sex is retarded. Especially when violent images seem to be okey-dokey. Money shot or gun shot? That is the question.


Communications Minister Helen Coonan said the government had anticipated children would find ways to get around the NetAlert filters.


Really? In 30 minutes? Bullshit.


Unfortunately, no single measure can protect children from online harm and ... traditional parenting skills have never been more important.


Uh, yeah. I guess that is why you spent $84 million on a useless porn filter.

Sixteen-year-old Tom explained to the situation to the government


"It's a horrible waste of money," he said. "They could get a much better filter for a few million dollars made here rather than paying overseas companies for an ineffective one."


I think young Tom is applying for a job.

FearTheReaper knows America is really weird about porn, also. But that does not mean he can’t rip on an island of criminal spawn when they deserve it.

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Comments
NickFaust

NickFaust

USA
April 2004

AUG 26, 2007 06:40 PM

FearTheReaper said:
Also, maybe parents should be the porn filters.



Oh gosh. Now you've gone and done it. This is the most radical thing that you have ever said.

'Course the flaw in your plan is the assumption that the parents are not lazy, stupid motherfuckers too wrapped up in their own bullshit lives to pay attention to what their children are doing.

NickFaust

NickFaust

USA
April 2004

AUG 26, 2007 06:45 PM

Cairo said:
Not that I'm calling FTR a turd. I quite like his articles, and I have enough of a sense of humor not to get all huffy over every semi-offensive comment he makes. But I don't understand this idea that SG is a special place on the Internet where everyone who pays their dues is a gentle, understanding, and overall nice guy/gal. There are just as many assholes here as there are anywhere else.



Nick's Law. 10% of the people are assholes.
1st Corollary to Nicks Law: This is a floating bracket.
2nd Corollary to Nicks Law: At any point in time the bracket can include any one of us.
3rd Corollary to Nicks Law: Some people are always in the bracket.

BlastProcessing

BlastProcessing

USA
OLD SKOOL

AUG 26, 2007 06:45 PM

Duramater said:

Fanny said:
Yes, our Prime Minister John Howard has been desperately trying to "turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom" with strong support from the likes of Cardinal George Pell and Rupert "I'm such a FOX" Murdoch. Yes, they are all retards.... but indicating that the entire population of a country is reflected by its political leaders is pretty trite, especially coming from someone whose President is Bush and Governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger whatever



Ouch... I didnt want to be the one to mention Bush. However, i too don't believe in blindly labelling people, based on something as 'factual' as the news. Honestly FearTheReaper, maybe a bit of thought into your blogging next time. The one thing that set the SG site apart from the others is that until now it seemed as though only people with a bit of substance and respect for others were part of the SG community. Retraction anyone?



You haven't been here long enough to know what makes this site different from others, what with your people's historical problems telling knives apart from spoons.

kaosmaker666

kaosmaker666

Batesville, AR
April 2006

AUG 26, 2007 06:45 PM

Holy Shit!!! I actually agree withFearTheReaper!!! I think the coming apocalypse is about to happen!!! wink

Cairo

Cairo

SUICIDEGIRL

Maryland, USA

AUG 26, 2007 06:48 PM

BlastProcessing said:

Duramater said:

Fanny said:
Yes, our Prime Minister John Howard has been desperately trying to "turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom" with strong support from the likes of Cardinal George Pell and Rupert "I'm such a FOX" Murdoch. Yes, they are all retards.... but indicating that the entire population of a country is reflected by its political leaders is pretty trite, especially coming from someone whose President is Bush and Governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger whatever



Ouch... I didnt want to be the one to mention Bush. However, i too don't believe in blindly labelling people, based on something as 'factual' as the news. Honestly FearTheReaper, maybe a bit of thought into your blogging next time. The one thing that set the SG site apart from the others is that until now it seemed as though only people with a bit of substance and respect for others were part of the SG community. Retraction anyone?



You haven't been here long enough to know what makes this site different from others, what with your people's historical problems telling knives apart from spoons.



I see you've played knifey-spoony before.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

AUG 26, 2007 07:02 PM

NickFaust said:

Cairo said:
Not that I'm calling FTR a turd. I quite like his articles, and I have enough of a sense of humor not to get all huffy over every semi-offensive comment he makes. But I don't understand this idea that SG is a special place on the Internet where everyone who pays their dues is a gentle, understanding, and overall nice guy/gal. There are just as many assholes here as there are anywhere else.


Nick's Law. 10% of the people are assholes.
1st Corollary to Nicks Law: This is a floating bracket.
2nd Corollary to Nicks Law: At any point in time the bracket can include any one of us.
3rd Corollary to Nicks Law: Some people are always in the bracket.


You should also mention how any asshole in any population exerts a disproportionate effect upon any and all activity concerning them, directly related to the magnitude of their assholery. Similarly, assholes are disproportionately noticeable.

Duramater

Duramater

Australia
May 2007

AUG 26, 2007 07:05 PM

Cairo said:

BlastProcessing said:

Duramater said:

Fanny said:
Yes, our Prime Minister John Howard has been desperately trying to "turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom" with strong support from the likes of Cardinal George Pell and Rupert "I'm such a FOX" Murdoch. Yes, they are all retards.... but indicating that the entire population of a country is reflected by its political leaders is pretty trite, especially coming from someone whose President is Bush and Governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger whatever



Ouch... I didnt want to be the one to mention Bush. However, i too don't believe in blindly labelling people, based on something as 'factual' as the news. Honestly FearTheReaper, maybe a bit of thought into your blogging next time. The one thing that set the SG site apart from the others is that until now it seemed as though only people with a bit of substance and respect for others were part of the SG community. Retraction anyone?



You haven't been here long enough to know what makes this site different from others, what with your people's historical problems telling knives apart from spoons.



I see you've played knifey-spoony before.



I'll laugh with you guys on that one. I'd hate to think your knowledge of other countries begins and ends with the simpsons.

MrCrisp

MrCrisp

I'm lost
August 2004

AUG 26, 2007 07:07 PM

australia's a country? i thought it was a continent. whiskey tango foxtrot?

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

AUG 26, 2007 07:11 PM

MrCrisp said:
australia's a country? i thought it was a continent. whiskey tango foxtrot?


It's a countinent!

MrCrisp

MrCrisp

I'm lost
August 2004

AUG 26, 2007 07:15 PM

Zarth said:

MrCrisp said:
australia's a country? i thought it was a continent. whiskey tango foxtrot?


It's a countinent!



or a continentry! new zealand be damned!

Subrosa

Subrosa

San Francisco, CA
July 2004

AUG 26, 2007 07:18 PM

Nothing makes me giggle more than people getting all huffy about obvious jokes. Especially when, in getting huffy, they re-enforce the original joke in the first place.

Good times.

FellOnEarth

FellOnEarth

Temecula, CA
April 2006

AUG 26, 2007 07:19 PM

Cairo said:

Duramater said:
until now it seemed as though only people with a bit of substance and respect for others were part of the SG community.



Are you, like, new to the Internet? shocked

SG does not screen for substance and respect. Any old turd with four dollars a month can get in.


Yes, but do they really get it? Actually, I have witnessed an interesting degree of opinions here on SG, and I find one particular element throth facinating, validating and encouraging: Even though this site may crudely be defined as artistic T&A, as a community (at least those who bother to post within it), we share many basic values. First and foremost the freedom of expression, we believe sex is good and expressing one's sexuality (or interest in it) is generally healthy. Despite our libatious nature, we really aren't all that different from the norm as many other Americans, Aussies, English, Canadian, Mexican, et. al. also enjoy sex (porn is porn, right?) That being said, we aren't all the complete hedonistic and anarchistic demons that a relio-fundie might wish to label as (but some are). In fact, perhaps sadly, we share many of the same values and hypocrisies with the god-fearing-moral-mongering avaricious turds (screwing with children, for instance, is just plain wrong). What separates us from them is their politics of control over our freedom. Instead of closeting sexuality (in all of it's various forms) and branding porn taboo (which only serves to heighten interest in the forbidden and induce false feelings of guilt or shame), we chose to discuss and observe it more openly without said guilt or shame. This may sound silly, but I believe it makes us psychologically healthier-minded individuals from them. Plus, we're more likely to be educated about important things like where the clitoris is located, which lubrication works best (saliva or store bought?), or how to safely and securely fasten a half inch nut and washer to a 6 inch bolt (gently, but with enough friction and force to get the job done). biggrin

Phantasy

Phantasy

Australia
October 2005

AUG 26, 2007 07:27 PM

Duramater said:

Cairo said:

BlastProcessing said:

Duramater said:

Fanny said:
Yes, our Prime Minister John Howard has been desperately trying to "turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom" with strong support from the likes of Cardinal George Pell and Rupert "I'm such a FOX" Murdoch. Yes, they are all retards.... but indicating that the entire population of a country is reflected by its political leaders is pretty trite, especially coming from someone whose President is Bush and Governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger whatever



Ouch... I didnt want to be the one to mention Bush. However, i too don't believe in blindly labelling people, based on something as 'factual' as the news. Honestly FearTheReaper, maybe a bit of thought into your blogging next time. The one thing that set the SG site apart from the others is that until now it seemed as though only people with a bit of substance and respect for others were part of the SG community. Retraction anyone?



You haven't been here long enough to know what makes this site different from others, what with your people's historical problems telling knives apart from spoons.



I see you've played knifey-spoony before.



I'll laugh with you guys on that one. I'd hate to think your knowledge of other countries begins and ends with the simpsons.




StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

AUG 26, 2007 07:29 PM

FellOnEarth said:

Cairo said:

Duramater said:
until now it seemed as though only people with a bit of substance and respect for others were part of the SG community.



Are you, like, new to the Internet? shocked

SG does not screen for substance and respect. Any old turd with four dollars a month can get in.


Yes, but do they really get it? Actually, I have witnessed an interesting degree of opinions here on SG, and I find one particular element throth facinating, validating and encouraging: Even though this site may crudely be defined as artistic T&A, as a community (at least those who bother to post within it), we share many basic values. First and foremost the freedom of expression, we believe sex is good and expressing one's sexuality (or interest in it) is generally healthy. Despite our libatious nature, we really aren't all that different from the norm as many other Americans, Aussies, English, Canadian, Mexican, et. al. also enjoy sex (porn is porn, right?) That being said, we aren't all the complete hedonistic and anarchistic demons that a relio-fundie might wish to label as (but some are). In fact, perhaps sadly, we share many of the same values and hypocrisies with the god-fearing-moral-mongering avaricious turds (screwing with children, for instance, is just plain wrong). What separates us from them is their politics of control over our freedom. Instead of closeting sexuality (in all of it's various forms) and branding porn taboo (which only serves to heighten interest in the forbidden and induce false feelings of guilt or shame), we chose to discuss and observe it more openly without said guilt or shame. This may sound silly, but I believe it makes us psychologically healthier-minded individuals from them. Plus, we're more likely to be educated about important things like where the clitoris is located, which lubrication works best (saliva or store bought?), or how to safely and securely fasten a half inch nut and washer to a 6 inch bolt (gently, but with enough friction and force to get the job done). biggrin



Dude, whatever you try to say about the community on SG as a whole, you're wrong. Just stop trying.

Cairo

Cairo

SUICIDEGIRL

Maryland, USA

AUG 26, 2007 07:36 PM

Phantasy said:

Duramater said:

Cairo said:

BlastProcessing said:

Duramater said:

Fanny said:
Yes, our Prime Minister John Howard has been desperately trying to "turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom" with strong support from the likes of Cardinal George Pell and Rupert "I'm such a FOX" Murdoch. Yes, they are all retards.... but indicating that the entire population of a country is reflected by its political leaders is pretty trite, especially coming from someone whose President is Bush and Governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger whatever



Ouch... I didnt want to be the one to mention Bush. However, i too don't believe in blindly labelling people, based on something as 'factual' as the news. Honestly FearTheReaper, maybe a bit of thought into your blogging next time. The one thing that set the SG site apart from the others is that until now it seemed as though only people with a bit of substance and respect for others were part of the SG community. Retraction anyone?



You haven't been here long enough to know what makes this site different from others, what with your people's historical problems telling knives apart from spoons.



I see you've played knifey-spoony before.



I'll laugh with you guys on that one. I'd hate to think your knowledge of other countries begins and ends with the simpsons.






Nicely done. I spent five minutes looking for that picture but all the ones I found were too tiny.

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