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  • SUNDAY AUGUST 26 2007 9:00 AM

Teen Breaks Through Australian Anal Wall



Australia is retarded. There, I said it. The whole continent. All the people living on it. Retarded. Except for one teenager. He is smart. How could I reach such a conclusion about an entire continent? Because of the way Australia is handling porn. Sweet, sweet porn.

The Australian government created an $84 million porn filter for the Internet The NetAlert filter was released on Tuesday and the country rejoiced because Australia’s children we so very much safer. Kids could go back to being kids and would no longer have to endure the relentless thrusting of cocks in and out of vaginas on their monitors. Australia had managed to do what American politicians cannot: Turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom.

The country’s new Leave It To Beaver bliss lasted about 30 minutes. That is how long it took 16-year-old student Tom Wood to break through the porn filter. That is $84 million well spent.


Tom, who attends a Melbourne private school, can deactivate the filter after several clicks.

His method ensures the software's toolbar icon is not deleted.

He can leave his parents believing the filter is still working.


Thirty minutes. I’m going to go on record here and say that governments should not waste money on programs like porn filters. Any software creator who is even slightly talented will not work at a low paying government job when they can make much more money at a private company. The result is a porn filter that can be cracked by teenagers, who are probably savvier than the idiot who created the system anyway.

Also, maybe parents should be the porn filters. Why the fuck does the government have to be involved in whether or not kids see sweet, sweet porn? I find government involvement in who sees porn to be more obscene than a cock penetrating a woman’s anus over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Oof. Here’s an idea: Keep the computer in the living room, or another space where kids can always be watched. Throw your own software on your own computer to keep the kids off Suicide Girls. The fact that governments needs to keep kids from watching sex is retarded. Especially when violent images seem to be okey-dokey. Money shot or gun shot? That is the question.


Communications Minister Helen Coonan said the government had anticipated children would find ways to get around the NetAlert filters.


Really? In 30 minutes? Bullshit.


Unfortunately, no single measure can protect children from online harm and ... traditional parenting skills have never been more important.


Uh, yeah. I guess that is why you spent $84 million on a useless porn filter.

Sixteen-year-old Tom explained to the situation to the government


"It's a horrible waste of money," he said. "They could get a much better filter for a few million dollars made here rather than paying overseas companies for an ineffective one."


I think young Tom is applying for a job.

FearTheReaper knows America is really weird about porn, also. But that does not mean he can’t rip on an island of criminal spawn when they deserve it.

 

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Comments
photoline

photoline

Edmonton, AB
January 2005

AUG 26, 2007 04:04 PM

Crikey! eeek

Luddite

Luddite

Anderson, CA
December 2005

AUG 26, 2007 04:18 PM

freshprncebelair said:
O lawdy, is dat sum cp?



Heres some CP. kthxbi

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

AUG 26, 2007 04:23 PM

d20 said:

freshprncebelair said:
O lawdy, is dat sum cp?



you just know the kid went straight to 4chan when he broke filter.



ITT Australia Rule 34.

Your Fortune: Positive.

Succalia

succalia

Australia
July 2006

AUG 26, 2007 04:47 PM

Lemonkid said:
I can't even conceive of how a government could spend 87 million dollars on this. Are like weirdo religious extremists in power there or something?



yes, actually. christians frown

the worst part about the porn filter that seems to have been ignored entirely in this article is the server side site blocking and blacklist they intend to enforce - not only will the kids not get porn, no one else will either. im sure this will eventually expand to any site the government finds to be against god, like harry potter fan sites and science journals. it'll be just like china, but in the name of the lord.

i'm hanging on to the hope that SG will be saved due to the fact the only way to access such horrible things as bare breasts is to have a membership, but i fear they'll just take one look at the name Suicide Girls and throw it on the ban filter.

_kungfoo_

_kungfoo_

Los Angeles, CA
April 2005

AUG 26, 2007 05:19 PM

wrnits said:
Just because one kid broke it doesn't mean every kid broke it. I'm just sayin'. The ones who don't know how to break the filter won't get porn.



Smart kids get the porn!

Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

AUG 26, 2007 05:41 PM

Succalia said:
the worst part about the porn filter that seems to have been ignored entirely in this article is the server side site blocking and blacklist they intend to enforce - not only will the kids not get porn, no one else will either.


So what are the general feelings of the public regarding a forced filter?

Isn't there some sort of law that prohibits them from deciding what you should and shouldn't view as an adult?

Phantasy

Phantasy

Australia
October 2005

AUG 26, 2007 05:50 PM

saturdaypunk said:

rebelwithstyle said:
There are some lovely Suicide Girls from Australia. Are they "retarded" as well? Saying an entire continent of people are "retarded" is completly out of line. You give liberal bloggers a bad name.



Oh jesus, cmon, it was a gross over-generalization for effect. Grow a sense of humor.



We have no sense of humour. The Australian government banned humour several years ago.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

AUG 26, 2007 05:58 PM

alxander said:
I spend my day job stopping kids from fucking with the internet. I'm surprised it took him 30 minutes. And yeah, our government is stupid. Maybe the Prime Minister should have read that email I sent him about the porn filter.
And tbh, you should do a little more research into who lives in Australia than giving the old 'penal colony' speech like you teach in American schools, it just makes you look more ignorant to the rest of the world than you already are.



OK, but taking that comment seriously makes you look retarded. Just thought you should know.

Minceir

Minceir

I'm lost
September 2011

AUG 26, 2007 06:14 PM

I wonder where the software was developed? which country I wonder and it took an Australian to do it as well. biggrin biggrin

BlastProcessing

BlastProcessing

USA
OLD SKOOL

AUG 26, 2007 06:17 PM

Phantasy said:

saturdaypunk said:

rebelwithstyle said:
There are some lovely Suicide Girls from Australia. Are they "retarded" as well? Saying an entire continent of people are "retarded" is completly out of line. You give liberal bloggers a bad name.



Oh jesus, cmon, it was a gross over-generalization for effect. Grow a sense of humor.



We have no sense of humour. The Australian government banned humour several years ago.



After the Yahoo Serious Incident, can they really be blamed?

StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

AUG 26, 2007 06:18 PM

BlastProcessing said:

Phantasy said:

saturdaypunk said:

rebelwithstyle said:
There are some lovely Suicide Girls from Australia. Are they "retarded" as well? Saying an entire continent of people are "retarded" is completly out of line. You give liberal bloggers a bad name.



Oh jesus, cmon, it was a gross over-generalization for effect. Grow a sense of humor.



We have no sense of humour. The Australian government banned humour several years ago.



After the Yahoo Serious Incident, can they really be blamed?



I know those words, but that sign makes no sense!

Duramater

Duramater

Australia
May 2007

AUG 26, 2007 06:20 PM

Fanny said:
Yes, our Prime Minister John Howard has been desperately trying to "turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom" with strong support from the likes of Cardinal George Pell and Rupert "I'm such a FOX" Murdoch. Yes, they are all retards.... but indicating that the entire population of a country is reflected by its political leaders is pretty trite, especially coming from someone whose President is Bush and Governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger whatever



Ouch... I didnt want to be the one to mention Bush. However, i too don't believe in blindly labelling people, based on something as 'factual' as the news. Honestly FearTheReaper, maybe a bit of thought into your blogging next time. The one thing that set the SG site apart from the others is that until now it seemed as though only people with a bit of substance and respect for others were part of the SG community. Retraction anyone?

MrCrisp

MrCrisp

I'm lost
August 2004

AUG 26, 2007 06:34 PM

Duramater said:
Retraction anyone?



Cairo

Cairo

SUICIDEGIRL

Maryland, USA

AUG 26, 2007 06:34 PM

Duramater said:
until now it seemed as though only people with a bit of substance and respect for others were part of the SG community.



Are you, like, new to the Internet? shocked

SG does not screen for substance and respect. Any old turd with four dollars a month can get in.

Cairo

Cairo

SUICIDEGIRL

Maryland, USA

AUG 26, 2007 06:39 PM

Not that I'm calling FTR a turd. I quite like his articles, and I have enough of a sense of humor not to get all huffy over every semi-offensive comment he makes. But I don't understand this idea that SG is a special place on the Internet where everyone who pays their dues is a gentle, understanding, and overall nice guy/gal. There are just as many assholes here as there are anywhere else.

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