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  • SUNDAY AUGUST 26 2007 9:00 AM

Teen Breaks Through Australian Anal Wall

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Australia, NetAlert, Porn



Australia is retarded. There, I said it. The whole continent. All the people living on it. Retarded. Except for one teenager. He is smart. How could I reach such a conclusion about an entire continent? Because of the way Australia is handling porn. Sweet, sweet porn.

The Australian government created an $84 million porn filter for the Internet The NetAlert filter was released on Tuesday and the country rejoiced because Australia’s children we so very much safer. Kids could go back to being kids and would no longer have to endure the relentless thrusting of cocks in and out of vaginas on their monitors. Australia had managed to do what American politicians cannot: Turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom.

The country’s new Leave It To Beaver bliss lasted about 30 minutes. That is how long it took 16-year-old student Tom Wood to break through the porn filter. That is $84 million well spent.


Tom, who attends a Melbourne private school, can deactivate the filter after several clicks.

His method ensures the software's toolbar icon is not deleted.

He can leave his parents believing the filter is still working.


Thirty minutes. I’m going to go on record here and say that governments should not waste money on programs like porn filters. Any software creator who is even slightly talented will not work at a low paying government job when they can make much more money at a private company. The result is a porn filter that can be cracked by teenagers, who are probably savvier than the idiot who created the system anyway.

Also, maybe parents should be the porn filters. Why the fuck does the government have to be involved in whether or not kids see sweet, sweet porn? I find government involvement in who sees porn to be more obscene than a cock penetrating a woman’s anus over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Oof. Here’s an idea: Keep the computer in the living room, or another space where kids can always be watched. Throw your own software on your own computer to keep the kids off Suicide Girls. The fact that governments needs to keep kids from watching sex is retarded. Especially when violent images seem to be okey-dokey. Money shot or gun shot? That is the question.


Communications Minister Helen Coonan said the government had anticipated children would find ways to get around the NetAlert filters.


Really? In 30 minutes? Bullshit.


Unfortunately, no single measure can protect children from online harm and ... traditional parenting skills have never been more important.


Uh, yeah. I guess that is why you spent $84 million on a useless porn filter.

Sixteen-year-old Tom explained to the situation to the government


"It's a horrible waste of money," he said. "They could get a much better filter for a few million dollars made here rather than paying overseas companies for an ineffective one."


I think young Tom is applying for a job.

FearTheReaper knows America is really weird about porn, also. But that does not mean he can’t rip on an island of criminal spawn when they deserve it.

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Comments
Gringo

Gringo

Spokane, WA
May 2006

AUG 26, 2007 01:14 PM

Fanny said:
.... but indicating that the entire population of a country is reflected by its political leaders is pretty trite, especially coming from someone whose President is Bush and Governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger whatever


******SWOOSH*******

saturdaypunk

saturdaypunk

Fort Worth, TX
May 2007

AUG 26, 2007 01:20 PM

rebelwithstyle said:
There are some lovely Suicide Girls from Australia. Are they "retarded" as well? Saying an entire continent of people are "retarded" is completly out of line. You give liberal bloggers a bad name.



Oh jesus, cmon, it was a gross over-generalization for effect. Grow a sense of humor.

TheCoolerKing

TheCoolerKing

NEWSWIRE

Los Angeles, CA

AUG 26, 2007 01:24 PM

What? No "blank" is Austrailian for "blank," joke?

Also, hilarious piece.

queen_reality

queen_reality

I'm lost
March 2007

AUG 26, 2007 01:26 PM

This has got to be one of my favorite articles so far. However, I wouldn't say ALL Australians are retarded, but the whole that make up the governmental branch sure are.

wrnits

wrnits

Montreal, QC
June 2003

AUG 26, 2007 01:56 PM

Just because one kid broke it doesn't mean every kid broke it. I'm just sayin'. The ones who don't know how to break the filter won't get porn.

Alexr115

Alexr115

United Kingdom
July 2007

AUG 26, 2007 02:20 PM

It's humiliating for that prick, Howard's government. However i fell sorry for the Aussie citizens who missed out on getting that money for healthcare, social welfare, security and eduction. Hopefully Howard's days are numbered.

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

AUG 26, 2007 02:29 PM

queen_reality said:
This has got to be one of my favorite articles so far. However, I wouldn't say ALL Australians are retarded



No. Just me and li'l Johnny Howard.

mightyjoeaverage

mightyjoeaverage

Australia
July 2006

AUG 26, 2007 02:30 PM

actually this program was released here as a "free" nationwide offer to all parents to wait for it, wait for it......HELP parents filter out the "nasties" of the net for their kids... not all parents are computer wiz's so its just an aid being offered. hence the comment by the minister encouraging old fashioned parenting as well.

ok so 84million is excessive but for fuck sake its not been made compulsory....oh wait YOU failed to mention that!....

oh and by the way fucko out national budget is in SURPLUS whats yours??

Trauma

Trauma

San Quentin, CA
April 2005

AUG 26, 2007 02:44 PM

Kids are going to learn anyway, no point filtering it.

abangyarudo

abangyarudo

Amityville, NY
June 2006

AUG 26, 2007 03:03 PM

wrnits said:
Just because one kid broke it doesn't mean every kid broke it. I'm just sayin'. The ones who don't know how to break the filter won't get porn.




If an 16 year old did it in 30 seconds either hes a genius or it was poorly designed. I can assume that for those people that are not savvy enough to break it their smart friends will. What is funny is he didn't just break it he made sure to make it look like it's still working.

StarBelliedBoy

StarBelliedBoy

Philadelphia, PA
December 2003

AUG 26, 2007 03:07 PM

abangyarudo said:

wrnits said:
Just because one kid broke it doesn't mean every kid broke it. I'm just sayin'. The ones who don't know how to break the filter won't get porn.




If an 16 year old did it in 30 seconds either hes a genius or it was poorly designed. I can assume that for those people that are not savvy enough to break it their smart friends will. What is funny is he didn't just break it he made sure to make it look like it's still working.



That's 30 minutes, not seconds.

alxander

alxander

Australia
April 2006

AUG 26, 2007 03:17 PM

I spend my day job stopping kids from fucking with the internet. I'm surprised it took him 30 minutes. And yeah, our government is stupid. Maybe the Prime Minister should have read that email I sent him about the porn filter.
And tbh, you should do a little more research into who lives in Australia than giving the old 'penal colony' speech like you teach in American schools, it just makes you look more ignorant to the rest of the world than you already are.

brett54

brett54

Australia
November 2004

AUG 26, 2007 03:43 PM

Connect these words,

stones, glass houses, in, throw, shouldn't, people.

goodpoltergeist

goodpoltergeist

Douglasville, GA
January 2007

AUG 26, 2007 03:46 PM

go Australia!

way to sock it to the porn industry!

*cough*

eventide

eventide

Germany
August 2004

AUG 26, 2007 03:46 PM

porn tends to be boring, and a little weird (to children and adults alike!) but "dangerous"??? nonsense. i agree.,,., control, governmental, parental, software, hardware.,,, etc etc. now _that_ is perverse and dangerous.

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