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  • SUNDAY AUGUST 26 2007 9:00 AM

Teen Breaks Through Australian Anal Wall

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Australia, NetAlert, Porn



Australia is retarded. There, I said it. The whole continent. All the people living on it. Retarded. Except for one teenager. He is smart. How could I reach such a conclusion about an entire continent? Because of the way Australia is handling porn. Sweet, sweet porn.

The Australian government created an $84 million porn filter for the Internet The NetAlert filter was released on Tuesday and the country rejoiced because Australia’s children we so very much safer. Kids could go back to being kids and would no longer have to endure the relentless thrusting of cocks in and out of vaginas on their monitors. Australia had managed to do what American politicians cannot: Turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom.

The country’s new Leave It To Beaver bliss lasted about 30 minutes. That is how long it took 16-year-old student Tom Wood to break through the porn filter. That is $84 million well spent.


Tom, who attends a Melbourne private school, can deactivate the filter after several clicks.

His method ensures the software's toolbar icon is not deleted.

He can leave his parents believing the filter is still working.


Thirty minutes. I’m going to go on record here and say that governments should not waste money on programs like porn filters. Any software creator who is even slightly talented will not work at a low paying government job when they can make much more money at a private company. The result is a porn filter that can be cracked by teenagers, who are probably savvier than the idiot who created the system anyway.

Also, maybe parents should be the porn filters. Why the fuck does the government have to be involved in whether or not kids see sweet, sweet porn? I find government involvement in who sees porn to be more obscene than a cock penetrating a woman’s anus over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Oof. Here’s an idea: Keep the computer in the living room, or another space where kids can always be watched. Throw your own software on your own computer to keep the kids off Suicide Girls. The fact that governments needs to keep kids from watching sex is retarded. Especially when violent images seem to be okey-dokey. Money shot or gun shot? That is the question.


Communications Minister Helen Coonan said the government had anticipated children would find ways to get around the NetAlert filters.


Really? In 30 minutes? Bullshit.


Unfortunately, no single measure can protect children from online harm and ... traditional parenting skills have never been more important.


Uh, yeah. I guess that is why you spent $84 million on a useless porn filter.

Sixteen-year-old Tom explained to the situation to the government


"It's a horrible waste of money," he said. "They could get a much better filter for a few million dollars made here rather than paying overseas companies for an ineffective one."


I think young Tom is applying for a job.

FearTheReaper knows America is really weird about porn, also. But that does not mean he can’t rip on an island of criminal spawn when they deserve it.

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Comments
timirevolting

timirevolting

Astoria, NY
December 2004

AUG 26, 2007 11:36 AM

Yea apparently Australia is not to progressive, however not all who reside there are retards. My buddy ValGal resides there and shes whip smart as hell!!!

azathoth42

azathoth42

Dallas, TX
September 2004

AUG 26, 2007 11:43 AM

Lemonkid said:
I can't even conceive of how a government could spend 87 million dollars on this. Are like weirdo religious extremists in power there or something?



No, Rupert Murdock is...

Wait, I mean, yes, Rupert Murdock is.

capitalistfig

capitalistfig

Los Angeles, CA
November 2004

AUG 26, 2007 11:43 AM

switters28 said:

RudieCantFail said:
Question is, was it 84 million Australian dollars or US dollars? Because 84 million Australian is like, what, $3.50 American?

tongue



Actually the australian dollar buys 80 us cents. I can see you've thought really hard about that joke but next time know what your talking about first.



TAKE THAT!

Now that's some swift Australian-style justice, Rudie!

By the way, if you're going to pick on someone's joke, it's good to 'know what you're talking about first.' (Since accuracy seems to count.)

tongue

JDPatriot

JDPatriot

Fort Lauderdale, FL
January 2004

AUG 26, 2007 12:01 PM

I find government involvement in who sees porn to be more obscene than a cock penetrating a woman's anus over and over and over and over and over and over and over.



lmao

and yeah, I agree completely.

MrCrisp

MrCrisp

I'm lost
August 2004

AUG 26, 2007 12:05 PM

lot of sensitive folks, but still not quite enough for an FTR article. quick! more naive and sarcasm-disabled posters!

SoonerDog

SoonerDog

United Kingdom
July 2002

AUG 26, 2007 12:08 PM

Zarth said:
Also, I just want to say that this is surely one of the three most awesome news story headlines in history, right up there "Corpse-Eating Rats Now Largest Military Force in Europe" from November 6th, 1918.



#1 of course being "Holy Shit, Man Walks On Fucking Moon!" July 21st, 1969.

Gerry_D

Gerry_D

Los Angeles, CA
May 2003

AUG 26, 2007 12:09 PM

at least it wasn't us! at least it wasn't us!
at least it wasn't us! at least it wasn't us!
yay!

fountainofdreams

fountainofdreams

Batavia, IL
January 2005

AUG 26, 2007 12:10 PM

capitalistfig said:

NikkiIs said:
I find it much easier to allow my step children free access to porn. Once the initial "OOOOh I'm looking at porn" phase wore off, they have really shown no interest. The same went for drinking and sex. Once the 16 year old found out he had free access to the bar and could do his girlfriend in his own bed, (and we would supply the condoms), he's pretty much said thanks but no thanks. I guess it's not as much fun if you can get away with it.



Okay. This makes no sense.

"I find it much easier to not parent, and let my kids parent themselves!"

I know I only have sex, drink and look at porn because my parents don't know. eeek



It's not like he said they're free to do whatever they want without supervision. They're allowed to do stuff, and they're well-supervised. No kid wants to do ostensibly bad stuff while well-supervised.

unfiltrator

unfiltrator

San Francisco, CA
April 2004

AUG 26, 2007 12:13 PM

Citizens of the world, how can we be squabbling when porn is at stake???

pyropixie

pyropixie

USA
February 2003

AUG 26, 2007 12:25 PM

d20 said:

freshprncebelair said:
O lawdy, is dat sum cp?



you just know the kid went straight to 4chan when he broke filter.



rule 1 and 2 brother. 1 & 2.

Fanny

Fanny

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

AUG 26, 2007 12:30 PM

Yes, our Prime Minister John Howard has been desperately trying to "turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom" with strong support from the likes of Cardinal George Pell and Rupert "I'm such a FOX" Murdoch. Yes, they are all retards.... but indicating that the entire population of a country is reflected by its political leaders is pretty trite, especially coming from someone whose President is Bush and Governor is Arnold Schwarzenegger whatever

capitalistfig

capitalistfig

Los Angeles, CA
November 2004

AUG 26, 2007 12:36 PM

fountainofdreams said:

capitalistfig said:

NikkiIs said:
I find it much easier to allow my step children free access to porn. Once the initial "OOOOh I'm looking at porn" phase wore off, they have really shown no interest. The same went for drinking and sex. Once the 16 year old found out he had free access to the bar and could do his girlfriend in his own bed, (and we would supply the condoms), he's pretty much said thanks but no thanks. I guess it's not as much fun if you can get away with it.



Okay. This makes no sense.

"I find it much easier to not parent, and let my kids parent themselves!"

I know I only have sex, drink and look at porn because my parents don't know. eeek



It's not like he said they're free to do whatever they want without supervision. They're allowed to do stuff, and they're well-supervised. No kid wants to do ostensibly bad stuff while well-supervised.



Where in there did you read 'well-supervised'? You managed to use the phrase twice. Nothing in the post would make one assume that other than some implied 'supervision' via birth control. (And if that's the case, planned parenthood supervises a lot of sex. whatever )

I'm guessing this parent got lucky with good step-children. Not with this sage-like parenting magic.

jeremeyes

jeremeyes

Byron, IL
July 2003

AUG 26, 2007 12:49 PM

you're not actually saying that parents should...parent their own children? That's pretty fucking old school.

CyberEdZ

CyberEdZ

United Kingdom
January 2005

AUG 26, 2007 12:59 PM

To quote the Oracle of Wisdom :

Lois: Ah, it is so good to be home. Ya know, I wanted us to live in a place with real family values, but values don't come from where you live or who your friends are. They come from inside, from your own beliefs.

Peter: I agree, Lois. Like for instance, if you're watching a TV show, and you decide to take your values from that, you're an idiot. Maybe you should take responsibility for what values your kids are getting. Maybe you shouldn't be letting your kids watch certain shows in the first place if you have such a big problem with them, instead of blaming the shows themselves. (pauses, looks to the camera) Yeah.

Tiger_Fodder

Tiger_Fodder

Braintree, MA
June 2007

AUG 26, 2007 01:07 PM

capitalistfig said:

fountainofdreams said:

capitalistfig said:

NikkiIs said:
I find it much easier to allow my step children free access to porn. Once the initial "OOOOh I'm looking at porn" phase wore off, they have really shown no interest. The same went for drinking and sex. Once the 16 year old found out he had free access to the bar and could do his girlfriend in his own bed, (and we would supply the condoms), he's pretty much said thanks but no thanks. I guess it's not as much fun if you can get away with it.



Okay. This makes no sense.

"I find it much easier to not parent, and let my kids parent themselves!"

I know I only have sex, drink and look at porn because my parents don't know. eeek



It's not like he said they're free to do whatever they want without supervision. They're allowed to do stuff, and they're well-supervised. No kid wants to do ostensibly bad stuff while well-supervised.



Where in there did you read 'well-supervised'? You managed to use the phrase twice. Nothing in the post would make one assume that other than some implied 'supervision' via birth control. (And if that's the case, planned parenthood supervises a lot of sex. whatever )

I'm guessing this parent got lucky with good step-children. Not with this sage-like parenting magic.



You have some balls questioning somebody's parenting based on a single comment. My parents were like NikkiIs. From an early age they taught me respect for alcohol, by letting me drink whenever I wanted. They were there, but I was able to "get it" without the baggage that my peers did. I grew up without a crazy fascination for keggers and knew how much alcohol I can consume. I think she has the right idea.

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