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  • SUNDAY AUGUST 26 2007 9:00 AM

Teen Breaks Through Australian Anal Wall



Australia is retarded. There, I said it. The whole continent. All the people living on it. Retarded. Except for one teenager. He is smart. How could I reach such a conclusion about an entire continent? Because of the way Australia is handling porn. Sweet, sweet porn.

The Australian government created an $84 million porn filter for the Internet The NetAlert filter was released on Tuesday and the country rejoiced because Australia’s children we so very much safer. Kids could go back to being kids and would no longer have to endure the relentless thrusting of cocks in and out of vaginas on their monitors. Australia had managed to do what American politicians cannot: Turn all of Australia into a 1950s sitcom.

The country’s new Leave It To Beaver bliss lasted about 30 minutes. That is how long it took 16-year-old student Tom Wood to break through the porn filter. That is $84 million well spent.


Tom, who attends a Melbourne private school, can deactivate the filter after several clicks.

His method ensures the software's toolbar icon is not deleted.

He can leave his parents believing the filter is still working.


Thirty minutes. I’m going to go on record here and say that governments should not waste money on programs like porn filters. Any software creator who is even slightly talented will not work at a low paying government job when they can make much more money at a private company. The result is a porn filter that can be cracked by teenagers, who are probably savvier than the idiot who created the system anyway.

Also, maybe parents should be the porn filters. Why the fuck does the government have to be involved in whether or not kids see sweet, sweet porn? I find government involvement in who sees porn to be more obscene than a cock penetrating a woman’s anus over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Oof. Here’s an idea: Keep the computer in the living room, or another space where kids can always be watched. Throw your own software on your own computer to keep the kids off Suicide Girls. The fact that governments needs to keep kids from watching sex is retarded. Especially when violent images seem to be okey-dokey. Money shot or gun shot? That is the question.


Communications Minister Helen Coonan said the government had anticipated children would find ways to get around the NetAlert filters.


Really? In 30 minutes? Bullshit.


Unfortunately, no single measure can protect children from online harm and ... traditional parenting skills have never been more important.


Uh, yeah. I guess that is why you spent $84 million on a useless porn filter.

Sixteen-year-old Tom explained to the situation to the government


"It's a horrible waste of money," he said. "They could get a much better filter for a few million dollars made here rather than paying overseas companies for an ineffective one."


I think young Tom is applying for a job.

FearTheReaper knows America is really weird about porn, also. But that does not mean he can’t rip on an island of criminal spawn when they deserve it.

 

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Comments
Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 02, 2007 06:02 PM

phoenixorcism said:

Zarth said:

phoenixorcism said:
What made you assume the entire population was descended from hardened criminals anyway?
Jesus. Way to make me start crying! Waaahhhhh!!!
frown


Let's make out.


Shut-up and kiss me you fool!!!


Mmrphmmmfmfmmmfm . . .

DannyDMc

DannyDMc

Fargo, ND
July 2003

SEP 02, 2007 06:04 PM

Zarth said:

AkiraLi said:

Dogslife said:
Australia: trying to be America on Canada's budget since 1901.


I didn't want to laugh at that, but I can't help it. biggrin


Same here.

Also, I just want to say that this is surely one of the three most awesome news story headlines in history, right up there "Corpse-Eating Rats Now Largest Military Force in Europe" from November 6th, 1918.



Someone's been reading the Onion smile

Phantasy

Phantasy

Australia
October 2005

SEP 02, 2007 07:19 PM

Zarth said:

phoenixorcism said:

Zarth said:

phoenixorcism said:
What made you assume the entire population was descended from hardened criminals anyway?
Jesus. Way to make me start crying! Waaahhhhh!!!
frown


Let's make out.


Shut-up and kiss me you fool!!!


Mmrphmmmfmfmmmfm . . .



Ahem, I'd like to get in on this action.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 02, 2007 08:01 PM

Phantasy said:

Zarth said:

phoenixorcism said:

Zarth said:

phoenixorcism said:
What made you assume the entire population was descended from hardened criminals anyway?
Jesus. Way to make me start crying! Waaahhhhh!!!
frown


Let's make out.


Shut-up and kiss me you fool!!!


Mmrphmmmfmfmmmfm . . .


Ahem, I'd like to get in on this action.


I don't have a problem with that.

DannyDMc said:

Zarth said:
Also, I just want to say that this is surely one of the three most awesome news story headlines in history, right up there "Corpse-Eating Rats Now Largest Military Force in Europe" from November 6th, 1918.


Someone's been reading the Onion smile


The funniest part (well, actually probably the unfunniest part), is that it was pretty accurate.

phoenixorcism

phoenixorcism

Australia
June 2006

SEP 02, 2007 08:12 PM

Phantasy said:

Zarth said:

phoenixorcism said:

Zarth said:

phoenixorcism said:
What made you assume the entire population was descended from hardened criminals anyway?
Jesus. Way to make me start crying! Waaahhhhh!!!
frown


Let's make out.


Shut-up and kiss me you fool!!!


Mmrphmmmfmfmmmfm . . .



Ahem, I'd like to get in on this action.



Honey you know you don't even have to ask. kiss

phoenixorcism

phoenixorcism

Australia
June 2006

SEP 02, 2007 08:13 PM

Zarth said:

phoenixorcism said:

Zarth said:

phoenixorcism said:
What made you assume the entire population was descended from hardened criminals anyway?
Jesus. Way to make me start crying! Waaahhhhh!!!
frown


Let's make out.


Shut-up and kiss me you fool!!!


Mmrphmmmfmfmmmfm . . .



Oh and btw, SLLLUUUUURRRRPPPPPPP!!!!!

tongue

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 02, 2007 08:14 PM

phoenixorcism said:

Phantasy said:

Zarth said:

phoenixorcism said:

Zarth said:

phoenixorcism said:
What made you assume the entire population was descended from hardened criminals anyway?
Jesus. Way to make me start crying! Waaahhhhh!!!
frown


Let's make out.


Shut-up and kiss me you fool!!!


Mmrphmmmfmfmmmfm . . .


Ahem, I'd like to get in on this action.


Honey you know you don't even have to ask. kiss


I knew I liked you for more than just your cleavage.

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

SEP 02, 2007 09:50 PM

Zarth: Treats 'em mean, keeps 'em keen!

Phantasy

Phantasy

Australia
October 2005

SEP 02, 2007 10:30 PM

TheFuckOffKid said:
Zarth: Treats 'em mean, keeps 'em keen!



Just how us convicts like it.

phoenixorcism

phoenixorcism

Australia
June 2006

SEP 03, 2007 10:52 PM

Zarth:Next Governor of Van Diemen's Land.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

SEP 03, 2007 11:45 PM

phoenixorcism said:

Phantasy said:

TheFuckOffKid said:
Zarth: Treats 'em mean, keeps 'em keen!


Just how us convicts like it.


Zarth:Next Governor of Van Diemen's Land.


Whatever it takes to get me buried in writhing bisexual women.

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

SEP 03, 2007 11:51 PM

"anal wall"

*giggles*

that is all.

Phantasy

Phantasy

Australia
October 2005

SEP 04, 2007 12:05 AM

DevilsReject said:
"anal wall"

*giggles*

that is all.



You are so immature.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

You big poopy head.

DevilsReject

DevilsReject

Cleveland, OH
February 2007

SEP 04, 2007 12:16 AM

Phantasy said:

DevilsReject said:
"anal wall"

*giggles*

that is all.



You are so immature.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

You big poopy head.



FLAG!

Flashman

Flashman

Australia
April 2006

SEP 04, 2007 05:02 AM

publicAnemone said:

Flashman said:

aaronthere said:
I like the idea of a 50's non-porn world called "leave it to beaver". this had to be an intentional pun.



You know the kid's name was Beaver Cleaver, right? Join the dots...



That's why it's a pun. A pun has two meanings, or at least it contains a word with two meanings.



Thanks for the info. I was kind of focusing on the "Cleaver" part to be honest.

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