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  • THURSDAY JULY 26 2007 9:00 AM

Alberto Gonzalez Is Possessed By A Clowntard



Alberto Gonzalez testified in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee on Tuesday. I now know why someone decided to put the work “fucking” in the middle of the word “unbelievable.” It was truly unfuckingbelievable. Many idiots have served in high-level positions in our government over the years, but I think we have finally found the dumbest man out of all those idiots.

Gonzalez lied, denied and babbled his way through the questioning. It would be considered a disgraceful performance for a plumber. As Attorney General of the United States it was so pathetic that he should have gone home, put a shotgun between his teeth and pulled the trigger. No one would have blamed him.

Gonzalez acted like a man who is not in charge of the Justice Department with many of the questions he answered. For example, when Senator Whitehouse expressed great concern that the Vice President was being informed about Department of Justice investigations.


Whitehouse: What on earth business does the OVP have [with respect to] ongoing investigations at DOJ?

Gonzalez: Good question.


Yes! It’s a great fucking question and you are actually in charge of the department, which means you are the man responsible. That means you’re supposed to take responsibility and answer it. If you don’t take responsibility, then you should come up with a clever answer or a smart, lawyer-like denial of some sort. What you should not say is; “Good question,” or “Hey, that’s nifty,” or “How about that?” or "Boo Ya!" It makes me, an American, feel a deep horror that someone as stupid as you could be in charge of the Department of Justice.

That was just one of the many idiotic moments provided by the Attorney General. Here the clown went mano-a-mano with Senator Schumer.



Nice going, fuckface. You just broke the law. Gonzalez did not assert privilege, he did not say he could not remember, he just refused to answer the question. The Attorney General of the United States just broke the law.


Contempt of Congress is defined in statute, 2 U.S.C.A. § 192, enacted in 1938, which states that any person who is summoned before Congress who "willfully makes default, or who, having appeared, refuses to answer any question pertinent to the question under inquiry" shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and subject to a maximum $1,000 fine and 12 month imprisonment.


Anyone see a problem with the AG blatantly breaking the law? What about just being an idiot?


FEINSTEIN: Oh, no -- total. How many names have you approved for firing?

GONZALES: You mean total, for cause, not for cause? I'd have to get back to you on that.

FEINSTEIN: There were seven on December 7.

GONZALES: Seven on December 7.

FEINSTEIN: We're now up to nine that we know about. How many -- this is important -- how many U.S. attorneys did you approve to be summarily fired?

GONZALES: Senator, there may have been others. I would be happy to get back to you with that kind of information about who has left. But I don't know the answer to your question. But I can certainly find out.

FEINSTEIN: You don't know, after all we've been through, the hearing after hearing after hearing?


Nope. The US Attorney scandal broke in March but Gonzalez still has not done any research to find out why he fired the people he fired. He should sit himself down and ask himself some questions because he is making himself look like an idiot. At the very least he should call himself to check in and catch up.

Gonzalez was also caught in a blatant lie when he was questioned about an emergency meeting with Congressional leaders, known as the "Gang of 8," on March 10, 2004. Gonzalez was counsel to Bush at the time and briefed the “Gang of 8” about the warrantless eavesdropping program. But on Tuesday, Gonzalez repeatedly claimed he did not discuss the surveillance program in the meeting. Instead, he says the meeting was about another intelligence program that he can’t talk about. A super-duper secret program. It's so secret, he might not even have told himself.


"The dissent related to other intelligence activities," Gonzales testified at Tuesday's hearing. "The dissent was not about the terrorist surveillance program."

"Not the TSP?" responded Sen. Charles E. Schumer, D-N.Y. "Come on. If you say it's about other, that implies not. Now say it or not."

"It was not," Gonzales answered. "It was about other intelligence activities."


Man, that would be a great story if it were true. So far, "Gang of 8" members Senator Jay Rockefeller, Senator Tom Daschle, Representative Jane Harmon and Representative Nancy Pelosi have all stated that Gonzalez’s claim is false. All four say Gonzalez only spoke of the surveillance program and a memo from the national intelligence director’s office supports their claim.


A four-page memo from the national intelligence director's office shows that the White House briefing with the eight lawmakers on March 10, 2004, was about the terror surveillance program, or TSP.

The memo, dated May 17, 2006, and addressed to then-House Speaker Dennis Hastert, details "the classification of the dates, locations, and names of members of Congress who attended briefings on the Terrorist Surveillance Program," wrote then-Director of National Intelligence John Negroponte.


So, on one side, four Congressional lawmakers who are supported by an intelligence document, and on the other side, a complete idiot. I'm going with the latter. It's not like it's the first time that Alberto lied to Congress. Just two weeks ago, Gonzalez was caught lying about his knowledge of the FBI abusing anti-terrorism laws.


As he sought to renew the USA Patriot Act two years ago, Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales assured lawmakers that the FBI had not abused its potent new terrorism-fighting powers. “There has not been one verified case of civil liberties abuse,” Gonzales told senators on April 27, 2005.

Six days earlier, the FBI sent Gonzales a copy of a report that said its agents had obtained personal information that they were not entitled to have. It was one of at least half a dozen reports of legal or procedural violations that Gonzales received in the three months before he made his statement to the Senate intelligence committee, according to internal FBI documents released under the Freedom of Information Act.


For a lawyer to behave in such a manner is astounding. It is incomprehensible for the Attorney General. There are two reasons Bush would keep this complete and total moron on the job. Either he wants someone who comes across as more pathetic than he is, or he can’t let Gonzalez go because of all the dirty secrets he is hiding. Congress should impeach Gonzalez, convict him of contempt and he should be disbarred.

 

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Comments
Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

JUL 26, 2007 09:15 AM

I rather suspect that Gonzalez's incompetence is at least partially a cultivated one, to avoid being pinned with wrongdoing. After all, if he came up with smart lawyerly replies, that would imply he knew what he was doing and was definitely hiding something. However, as a pure idiot, there's a chance that Congress will just throw its hands up in disgust and never find out what it needs to know.

Not that I really think the guy is that smart. It's probably more like a serendipitous synergy of strategy and stupidity.

Reagan did the same thing when he got nailed on Iran/Contra. And it worked.

sparaz

sparaz

Lompoc, CA
November 2002

JUL 26, 2007 09:20 AM

fuck yeah, a complete absolute MORON. I hate him.

ericwine

ericwine

Charlotte Hall, MD
January 2007

JUL 26, 2007 09:25 AM

Gonzales may be more uniformly despised across the political spectrum than Bush, since even conservatives loathe him. At best, he's frightfully incompetent, which is par for the course in an Administration that values loyalty to the president above party, country or simple decency.
Schumer is one of the biggest horse's asses in the Senate, but he's on target here.

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

JUL 26, 2007 09:30 AM

Anyone else notice that everyone asking 'Berto questions glared condescendingly over their reading glasses with much the same expression Zarth has in his profile picture?

I want reading glasses.

Quirky

Quirky

Birmingham, AL
October 2005

JUL 26, 2007 09:31 AM

Misunderstand Hamlet is a sin.

Domo_Kun

Domo_Kun

Rockford, IL
March 2005

JUL 26, 2007 09:33 AM

I almost wish we had the REAL Gonzo as our AG...

scorp17yh

scorp17yh

Brookings, OR
November 2004

JUL 26, 2007 09:37 AM

Oscar, Oscar, give the man an Oscar for crs sake.
This is so obviously a rehearsed act.
All the while King Geroge does as he pleases and WE the citizens of the US can do nothing.
I'd like to suggest that someone with at least a high school education in the Bush Administration sit them all down and read them the Declaration of Independence and then ask them why they are trying to force a second American Revolution. It seems to me that the Bushies are deliberately doing what they are doing to force and American insurection so that King George can can assume all the
"Emergency" powers he has granted himself.
Long Live the King
puke

RileyStClair

RileyStClair

Los Angeles, CA
September 2006

JUL 26, 2007 09:38 AM

DhD_PillowPants said:
Anyone else notice that everyone asking 'Berto questions glared condescendingly over their reading glasses with much the same expression Zarth has in his profile picture?



hahahahaha

bean

bean

STAFF

Los Angeles, CA

JUL 26, 2007 09:48 AM

And an hour ago they asked for a special prosecutor to investigate him.



Gonzalez is going down.

DhD_No_Pants

DhD_No_Pants

Katy, TX
May 2006

JUL 26, 2007 09:57 AM

bean said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

And an hour ago they asked for a special prosecutor to investigate him.



Gonzales is going down.





Bean, for this clip alone, I apologize for every thread I've ever been involved in that ended with you saying 'for fuck's sake people' (or something similar) before it was locked.

I almost don't want to get my hopes up that anything will come of it, though.

Horrorflick

Horrorflick

Detroit, MI
February 2003

JUL 26, 2007 10:00 AM

I know they're never supposed to apologize for anything, but even the right wing might want to take a closer look at a couple of things here...HE BROKE THE LAW!!! CHARGE HIM WITH SOME SHIT!!! The right wing in this country are like all those assholes who bought Creed's albums; millions of copies were sold, but you can't get one fucking person to admit that they actually purchased it...

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

JUL 26, 2007 10:23 AM

bean said:
And an hour ago they asked for a special prosecutor to investigate him.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)



Gonzalez is going down.




Yes, he is. Karl Rove has been subpoenaed too, so this is a banner day - at least on the face of things.

I still wish these people had some modicum of respect for our country, and hadn't seen fit to screw us in the first place.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 26, 2007 10:24 AM

DhD_PillowPants said:

bean said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

And an hour ago they asked for a special prosecutor to investigate him.



Gonzales is going down.





Bean, for this clip alone, I apologize for every thread I've ever been involved in that ended with you saying 'for fuck's sake people' (or something similar) before it was locked.

I almost don't want to get my hopes up that anything will come of it, though.



I was hoping they would not do this, simply because it could drag on until near the end of Bush's term. I was hoping they would go for impeachment, but maybe the know they will never get the votes.

Now get ready for the poor Christian Right using this as a "they're persecuting us" cause.

charmed

charmed

Philippines
May 2006

JUL 26, 2007 10:44 AM

Gonzales is a disgrace. I feel embarrassed for him when he speaks even though I know he is too daft to be embarrassed for himself. I suspect he thinks he is quite the crafty wordsmith. I agree that his position is partially cultivated and partially just the dumb luck of a dumb fuck, but either way this whole scandal (hell, administration) has been a monumental waste of time and energy! Of couse Bush loves him ~ the AG is a great distraction from the general fuckery in other areas AND takes up enough time to keep the Dems from other legislative business ~ what's not to love? The only credit I can give him is that he does not seem like pure evil while others in (or now out) of the administration do. I hope the special prosecuter investigation does something, but I'm not particularly optimistic about it. whatever

thefreak

thefreak

NEWSWIRE

Gardner, MA

JUL 26, 2007 10:46 AM

zoom image

-TM

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