• commentary
  • WEDNESDAY JULY 18 2007 9:00 AM

Republicans Are Fucked

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Republicans, McCain, Giuliani, Romney, Thompson



It’s official; the Republican presidential candidates are a disaster. A new AP poll found that Republicans chose “Other/None/Don’t Know” over the leading candidates. Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, John McCain and new savior Fred Thompson all came in behind nothing.

Republicans
Other/None/Don't Know 25%
Rudy Giuliani 21%
Fred Thompson 19%
John McCain 15%
Mitt Romney 11%
Newt Gingrich 5%
Mike Huckabee 3%


The Republicans have created their own problems. Apparently, any candidate has to meet religious, economic and security standards that are nearly impossible. Oh, and he’s got to have the correct ideas for stopping those horrible immigrants. All of the candidates are greatly lacking on one area or the other. None have secured the support of the religious lunatic fringe. As the campaign drags on, Republicans are actually losing support.

A hefty 23 percent can't or won't say which candidate they would back, a jump from the 14 percent who took a pass in June.


Maybe they should keep their mouths shut and hide in a shack in the mountains. Seems like they would have a better chance because whatever they are doing is not working.

Among the legions of undecided Republicans is Barbara Skogman, 72, a retired legal assistant from Cedar Rapids, Iowa. She isn't at all excited about any of the prospects. At one point, she favored McCain. At another, she was open to Giuliani. Now, she's leaning slightly toward Romney but says she's far from sold on him.

"I'm looking for a strong, honest person. Do you know of any?" she joked. She had an easy time detailing why she was queasy about each of the most serious contenders. "Isn't that sad?" Then she reached a conclusion: "I just don't know."


Giuliani has dropped from 35% in March to 21%. McCain’s campaign is in freefall, having lost many of his top campaign staffers and used up all of his money. Mitt Romney is plagued by past support for abortion rights and gay rights. Fred Thompson, also once supported abortion rights and was recently caught lying about his stance. Every candidate but Romney has been divorced, but Rudy leads the pack with three. However, Romney has the terrible problem of being from a crazy religion that Christians are not down with - which cancels out the perfect family life.

Meanwhile, Democrats are happy with their candidates.

Democrats
Hillary Clinton 36%
Barack Obama 20%
Al Gore 15%
Other/None/Don't Know 13%
John Edwards 11%
Bill Richardson 2%
Joe Biden 2%


"Democrats are reasonably comfortable with the range of choices. The Democratic attitude is that three or four of these guys would be fine," said David Redlawsk, a University of Iowa political scientist. "The Republicans don't have that; particularly among the conservatives there's a real split. They just don't see candidates who reflect their interests and who they also view as viable."


The enthusiasm for Democrats and lack of love for Republicans is leading to a large cash advantage. From April to June, Democrats raised 30 million dollars more than Republicans. Candidates who raise the most money win the election. That’s how America works.

At this point, the only thing that would energize Republicans would be Hillary winning the Democratic nomination. If that occurred, Republican funding would surge. Barring that scenario, the Republicans are going to need a new candidate. Here’s what they are looking for:

A candidate who hates gays, loves fetuses, will stop immigrants at all cost, will bomb Iran, Syria, and North Korea, keep troops in Iraq forever, will lower taxes more, pardon George Bush, is a good Christian, hates universal health care, carries an AK47, hates Muslims, loves the CIA and people who out their agents, wants to invade Cuba, will torture their mother if necessary, will commit voter fraud, will privatize Social Security, will privatize roads, will privatize air, will privatize cats, not allow stem cell research, lower the minimum wage and have the courage to murder our forests.

Shouldn’t be hard to find that guy.

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Comments
saltonsea

saltonsea

Toronto, ON
July 2004

JUL 18, 2007 08:00 PM

aldoushuxley said:
Here we have a democrat speaking for what a republican wants in a president. I think what you just said right now is half the problem in our country. I am a republican and all I want is a safe place to raise my kids, god forbid I have any, a stable economy, the national debt being paid off, religious freedom, equal rights across the board for all minorities. Our boarders secured, health care revamped and our education system fixed, thats it. The crap that you were spewing is just as bad as what comes out of Ann Koulters mouth, it is not the democrats verse the republicans. As a matter of fact that mind set is what is fucking our country up even further. Arrgh why can't we all get along.
.



sooo.....like republican when Lincoln was around...and not like an actual, today republican...

jermhawk

jermhawk

Tidioute, PA
December 2004

JUL 18, 2007 08:07 PM

Vote Ron Paul!

AndrewPhoto

AndrewPhoto

USA
May 2006

JUL 18, 2007 08:10 PM

irg7620 said:
you know, the reason why republicans are fucked, which they should be fucked all the time, is that they want a conservative, close-minded, ignorant, one religion country. Sounds familiar don't it? Think of Iran when you read that statement. They want the same things. Republicans don't want freedom of speech/religion/of the press, or for anyone to be individuals. they want control. they want everyone to be the same just like them. they are so stupid, there shouldn't even be a republican party. why would anyone in their right mind want to vote for someone who is going to take your freedoms away? why? why? why? republicans don't want freedom of choice when it comes to abortion. they don't want gay rights. they don't want religious freedom. they want to spend more money trying to change another country than trying to change our country. we need help getting our country back to being free. yes, i am democrat. hardcore. i believe in doing things legally (as where bush wants things done illegally and then tries to get away with it). Just like that Libby character. He got sentenced for committing a federal crime. but noooooooo, bush steps in says he shouldn't do his time and bails him out. fuck head. any criminal charged, convicted and then sentenced should do the time regardless of what status they have. ok, i'm done.



just like Dems want everyone to be 'equal.'

that's how it's been, Republicans want everyone to be equal in doctrine. Democrats want everyone to be 'equal' by economics and status.

although with the Repubs getting busted cheating on their wives and guys like Edwards with their $400 haircuts and mansions basically show the hypocrisy to all of it.

aldoushuxley

aldoushuxley

USA
November 2005

JUL 18, 2007 08:10 PM

Some issues that are republican I agree with, and won't change my mind on, however the smart economic policies health care debt removal and education, that is any ones ball game. I am in the military and because of that I am a little bit of a nationalist, but I do not want to start wars via debt increase, so I don't know why I say I am a republican it is the easiest way to categorize my views. Perhaps from now on when any one asks my political view it will be, "yes I support the smart party". I will not tell you which conservative issues I support because I will only look like a flaming idiot and it will only start a hilarious argument.

skeptik

skeptik

New Orleans, LA
February 2004

JUL 18, 2007 08:21 PM

aldoushuxley said:
Some issues that are republican I agree with, and won't change my mind on, however the smart economic policies health care debt removal and education, that is any ones ball game. I am in the military and because of that I am a little bit of a nationalist, but I do not want to start wars via debt increase, so I don't know why I say I am a republican it is the easiest way to categorize my views. Perhaps from now on when any one asks my political view it will be, "yes I support the smart party". I will not tell you which conservative issues I support because I will only look like a flaming idiot and it will only start a hilarious argument.



Or you could do what approximately a third of Americans do.

Call yourself Independent.

machoborracho

machoborracho

I'm lost
April 2004

JUL 18, 2007 09:49 PM

aldoushuxley said:

irg7620 said:
you know, the reason why republicans are fucked, which they should be fucked all the time, is that they want a conservative, close-minded, ignorant, one religion country. Sounds familiar don't it? Think of Iran when you read that statement. They want the same things. Republicans don't want freedom of speech/religion/of the press, or for anyone to be individuals. they want control. they want everyone to be the same just like them. they are so stupid, there shouldn't even be a republican party. why would anyone in their right mind want to vote for someone who is going to take your freedoms away? why? why? why? republicans don't want freedom of choice when it comes to abortion. they don't want gay rights. they don't want religious freedom. they want to spend more money trying to change another country than trying to change our country. we need help getting our country back to being free. yes, i am democrat. hardcore. i believe in doing things legally (as where bush wants things done illegally and then tries to get away with it). Just like that Libby character. He got sentenced for committing a federal crime. but noooooooo, bush steps in says he shouldn't do his time and bails him out. fuck head. any criminal charged, convicted and then sentenced should do the time regardless of what status they have. ok, i'm done.



Here we have a democrat speaking for what a republican wants in a president. I think what you just said right now is half the problem in our country. I am a republican and all I want is a safe place to raise my kids, god forbid I have any, a stable economy, the national debt being paid off, religious freedom, equal rights across the board for all minorities. Our boarders secured, health care revamped and our education system fixed, thats it. The crap that you were spewing is just as bad as what comes out of Ann Koulters mouth, it is not the democrats verse the republicans. As a matter of fact that mind set is what is fucking our country up even further. Arrgh why can't we all get along.



brandxofttl

brandxofttl

Scranton, PA
March 2007

JUL 19, 2007 12:07 AM

Towelly said:

brandxofttl said:
Keep in mind that while I share your hatred for the Republicans, the Democrats are far from better. The Patriot Act, the very same act that allows Bush and his cronies to get away with so much, was voted for by not only Clinton and Kerry, but Obama as well. They're simply Republicans in a "liberal" disguise, claiming to be the opposition but actually having all the same friends and business partners. All of the candidates on either side are rich, self-centered, money-hungry scum...the only difference is how they present themselves to the public.



I'm pretty sure Obama wasn't in Congress in 2001. . .

I don't entirely disagree with your assessment, in that quite a few Dems seem either captive to money power or have all the backbone of a bowl of spaghetti (or both), but facts are facts, and we need to get the facts straight before we start with the editorials.



My facts are straight.
I actually meant the renewal of the Patriot Act...I thought that's what I wrote...my bad.

joker_

joker_

Minneapolis, MN
October 2005

JUL 19, 2007 12:26 AM

FearTheReaper said:
A candidate who hates gays, loves fetuses, will stop immigrants at all cost, will bomb Iran, Syria, and North Korea, keep troops in Iraq forever, will lower taxes more, pardon George Bush, is a good Christian, hates universal health care, carries an AK47, hates Muslims, loves the CIA and people who out their agents, wants to invade Cuba, will torture their mother if necessary, will commit voter fraud, will privatize Social Security, will privatize roads, will privatize air, will privatize cats, not allow stem cell research, lower the minimum wage and have the courage to murder our forests.

Shouldn't be hard to find that guy.



Dick Cheney?

That would be scary.

_kungfoo_

_kungfoo_

Los Angeles, CA
April 2005

JUL 19, 2007 12:56 AM

joker_c said:

FearTheReaper said:
A candidate who hates gays, loves fetuses, will stop immigrants at all cost, will bomb Iran, Syria, and North Korea, keep troops in Iraq forever, will lower taxes more, pardon George Bush, is a good Christian, hates universal health care, carries an AK47, hates Muslims, loves the CIA and people who out their agents, wants to invade Cuba, will torture their mother if necessary, will commit voter fraud, will privatize Social Security, will privatize roads, will privatize air, will privatize cats, not allow stem cell research, lower the minimum wage and have the courage to murder our forests.

Shouldn't be hard to find that guy.



Dick Cheney?

That would be scary.



I really think that Dick Cheney doesn't give a fuck about domestic issues. He really just wants to bomb people.

joker_

joker_

Minneapolis, MN
October 2005

JUL 19, 2007 01:00 AM

KUNGFOO said:

joker_c said:

FearTheReaper said:
A candidate who hates gays, loves fetuses, will stop immigrants at all cost, will bomb Iran, Syria, and North Korea, keep troops in Iraq forever, will lower taxes more, pardon George Bush, is a good Christian, hates universal health care, carries an AK47, hates Muslims, loves the CIA and people who out their agents, wants to invade Cuba, will torture their mother if necessary, will commit voter fraud, will privatize Social Security, will privatize roads, will privatize air, will privatize cats, not allow stem cell research, lower the minimum wage and have the courage to murder our forests.

Shouldn't be hard to find that guy.



Dick Cheney?

That would be scary.



I really think Dick Cheney doesn't give a fuck about domestic issues. He really just wants to bomb everybody.



Well, that is probably true. Still he is just beaming star quality, the kind of star that plays the psychotic ax murderer in a teen horror movie.

W

W

Eugene, OR
May 2006

JUL 19, 2007 09:34 AM

Notice how they don't even mention Ron Paul, who we all know is the front runner in the republican party. Mainstream media won't mention him because that's the power of suggestion or groupthink. They're obviously trying to insinuate the false idea that he stands no chance of winning because he's not a corporate puppet like the rest of 'em. Ron Paul is the #1 leading candidate but according to these AP polls you wouldn't get that impression.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

JUL 19, 2007 09:47 AM

trillajote said:
Notice how they don't even mention Ron Paul, who we all know is the front runner in the republican party. Mainstream media won't mention him because that's the power of suggestion or groupthink. They're obviously trying to insinuate the false idea that he stands no chance of winning because he's not a corporate puppet like the rest of 'em. Ron Paul is the #1 leading candidate but according to these AP polls you wouldn't get that impression.


Yeah, he's so dreamy . . .

Tigerwong

Tigerwong

Baltimore, MD
February 2005

JUL 19, 2007 09:58 AM

Did anyone else notice that Al Gore is on the list of candidates, nay in the top three, percentage-wise, but he's NOT RUNNING???!!!!

I think this says a lot, both positive and negative.

positive: he's respected and people would vote for him.

negative: people are obviously stupid or at the least, VERY unobservant because they don't realize that he's not running.

Xias

Xias

Pompano Beach, FL
January 2007

JUL 19, 2007 10:20 AM

I think Mexico should just be a state of the Americas, and then immigration wouldn't be a problem...

Hell and while we're at It Canada can be a part of America too...

Fuck Borders.

hmm..Anyone seen Babel?

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 19, 2007 10:47 AM

trillajote said:
Notice how they don't even mention Ron Paul, who we all know is the front runner in the republican party. Mainstream media won't mention him because that's the power of suggestion or groupthink. They're obviously trying to insinuate the false idea that he stands no chance of winning because he's not a corporate puppet like the rest of 'em. Ron Paul is the #1 leading candidate but according to these AP polls you wouldn't get that impression.



So true.

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