• commentary
  • WEDNESDAY JULY 18 2007 9:00 AM

Republicans Are Fucked

Submitted by FearTheReaper

Edited by erin_broadley

Tags: Republicans, McCain, Giuliani, Romney, Thompson



It’s official; the Republican presidential candidates are a disaster. A new AP poll found that Republicans chose “Other/None/Don’t Know” over the leading candidates. Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, John McCain and new savior Fred Thompson all came in behind nothing.

Republicans
Other/None/Don't Know 25%
Rudy Giuliani 21%
Fred Thompson 19%
John McCain 15%
Mitt Romney 11%
Newt Gingrich 5%
Mike Huckabee 3%


The Republicans have created their own problems. Apparently, any candidate has to meet religious, economic and security standards that are nearly impossible. Oh, and he’s got to have the correct ideas for stopping those horrible immigrants. All of the candidates are greatly lacking on one area or the other. None have secured the support of the religious lunatic fringe. As the campaign drags on, Republicans are actually losing support.

A hefty 23 percent can't or won't say which candidate they would back, a jump from the 14 percent who took a pass in June.


Maybe they should keep their mouths shut and hide in a shack in the mountains. Seems like they would have a better chance because whatever they are doing is not working.

Among the legions of undecided Republicans is Barbara Skogman, 72, a retired legal assistant from Cedar Rapids, Iowa. She isn't at all excited about any of the prospects. At one point, she favored McCain. At another, she was open to Giuliani. Now, she's leaning slightly toward Romney but says she's far from sold on him.

"I'm looking for a strong, honest person. Do you know of any?" she joked. She had an easy time detailing why she was queasy about each of the most serious contenders. "Isn't that sad?" Then she reached a conclusion: "I just don't know."


Giuliani has dropped from 35% in March to 21%. McCain’s campaign is in freefall, having lost many of his top campaign staffers and used up all of his money. Mitt Romney is plagued by past support for abortion rights and gay rights. Fred Thompson, also once supported abortion rights and was recently caught lying about his stance. Every candidate but Romney has been divorced, but Rudy leads the pack with three. However, Romney has the terrible problem of being from a crazy religion that Christians are not down with - which cancels out the perfect family life.

Meanwhile, Democrats are happy with their candidates.

Democrats
Hillary Clinton 36%
Barack Obama 20%
Al Gore 15%
Other/None/Don't Know 13%
John Edwards 11%
Bill Richardson 2%
Joe Biden 2%


"Democrats are reasonably comfortable with the range of choices. The Democratic attitude is that three or four of these guys would be fine," said David Redlawsk, a University of Iowa political scientist. "The Republicans don't have that; particularly among the conservatives there's a real split. They just don't see candidates who reflect their interests and who they also view as viable."


The enthusiasm for Democrats and lack of love for Republicans is leading to a large cash advantage. From April to June, Democrats raised 30 million dollars more than Republicans. Candidates who raise the most money win the election. That’s how America works.

At this point, the only thing that would energize Republicans would be Hillary winning the Democratic nomination. If that occurred, Republican funding would surge. Barring that scenario, the Republicans are going to need a new candidate. Here’s what they are looking for:

A candidate who hates gays, loves fetuses, will stop immigrants at all cost, will bomb Iran, Syria, and North Korea, keep troops in Iraq forever, will lower taxes more, pardon George Bush, is a good Christian, hates universal health care, carries an AK47, hates Muslims, loves the CIA and people who out their agents, wants to invade Cuba, will torture their mother if necessary, will commit voter fraud, will privatize Social Security, will privatize roads, will privatize air, will privatize cats, not allow stem cell research, lower the minimum wage and have the courage to murder our forests.

Shouldn’t be hard to find that guy.

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aldoushuxley

aldoushuxley

USA
November 2005

JUL 18, 2007 01:11 PM

swirlyboy said:

aldoushuxley said:

irg7620 said:
you know, the reason why republicans are fucked, which they should be fucked all the time, is that they want a conservative, close-minded, ignorant, one religion country. Sounds familiar don't it? Think of Iran when you read that statement. They want the same things. Republicans don't want freedom of speech/religion/of the press, or for anyone to be individuals. they want control. they want everyone to be the same just like them. they are so stupid, there shouldn't even be a republican party. why would anyone in their right mind want to vote for someone who is going to take your freedoms away? why? why? why? republicans don't want freedom of choice when it comes to abortion. they don't want gay rights. they don't want religious freedom. they want to spend more money trying to change another country than trying to change our country. we need help getting our country back to being free. yes, i am democrat. hardcore. i believe in doing things legally (as where bush wants things done illegally and then tries to get away with it). Just like that Libby character. He got sentenced for committing a federal crime. but noooooooo, bush steps in says he shouldn't do his time and bails him out. fuck head. any criminal charged, convicted and then sentenced should do the time regardless of what status they have. ok, i'm done.



Here we have a democrat speaking for what a republican wants in a president. I think what you just said right now is half the problem in our country. I am a republican and all I want is a safe place to raise my kids, god forbid I have any, a stable economy, the national debt being paid off, religious freedom, equal rights across the board for all minorities. Our boarders secured, health care revamped and our education system fixed, thats it. The crap that you were spewing is just as bad as what comes out of Ann Koulters mouth, it is not the democrats verse the republicans. As a matter of fact that mind set is what is fucking our country up even further. Arrgh why can't we all get along.



Dude, you sound like a closet Democrat.



shh, don't let it get out my parents will never accept it......

wildswan

wildswan

I'm lost
June 2006

JUL 18, 2007 01:22 PM


A candidate who hates gays, loves fetuses, will stop immigrants at all cost, will bomb Iran, Syria, and North Korea, keep troops in Iraq forever, will lower taxes more, pardon George Bush, is a good Christian, hates universal health care, carries an AK47, hates Muslims, loves the CIA and people who out their agents, wants to invade Cuba, will torture their mother if necessary, will commit voter fraud, will privatize Social Security, will privatize roads, will privatize air, will privatize cats, not allow stem cell research, lower the minimum wage and have the courage to murder our forests.



You know, it's really tough to respond while you're choking on your tongue laughing.

Towelly

Towelly

Philadelphia, PA
January 2007

JUL 18, 2007 02:12 PM

brandxofttl said:
Keep in mind that while I share your hatred for the Republicans, the Democrats are far from better. The Patriot Act, the very same act that allows Bush and his cronies to get away with so much, was voted for by not only Clinton and Kerry, but Obama as well. They're simply Republicans in a "liberal" disguise, claiming to be the opposition but actually having all the same friends and business partners. All of the candidates on either side are rich, self-centered, money-hungry scum...the only difference is how they present themselves to the public.



I'm pretty sure Obama wasn't in Congress in 2001. . .

I don't entirely disagree with your assessment, in that quite a few Dems seem either captive to money power or have all the backbone of a bowl of spaghetti (or both), but facts are facts, and we need to get the facts straight before we start with the editorials.

Varuka_Salt

Varuka_Salt

I'm lost
October 2006

JUL 18, 2007 02:14 PM

The whole country's got a fucked up mentality. We all got a gang mentality. Republicans are fucking idiots. Democrats are fucking idiots. Conservatives are idiots and liberals are idiots.

Anyone who makes up their mind before they hear the issue is a fucking fool. Everybody, nah, nah, nah, everybody is so busy wanting to be down with a gang! I'm a conservative! I'm a liberal! I'm a conservative! It's bullshit!

Be a fucking person. Listen. Let it swirl around your head. Then form your opinion.

No normal decent person is one thing. OK!?! I got some shit I'm conservative about, I got some shit I'm liberal about. Crime - I'm conservative. Prostitution - I'm liberal.

Chris Rock

OpticNerve

OpticNerve

Arlington, MA
November 2003

JUL 18, 2007 03:03 PM

I hate to be a cynic, but no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

JUL 18, 2007 03:46 PM


A candidate who hates gays, loves fetuses, will stop immigrants at all cost, will bomb Iran, Syria, and North Korea, keep troops in Iraq forever, will lower taxes more, pardon George Bush, is a good Christian, hates universal health care, carries an AK47, hates Muslims, loves the CIA and people who out their agents, wants to invade Cuba, will torture their mother if necessary, will commit voter fraud, will privatize Social Security, will privatize roads, will privatize air, will privatize cats, not allow stem cell research, lower the minimum wage and have the courage to murder our forests.



George W Bush?

XvVectorvX

XvVectorvX

Orlando, FL
May 2007

JUL 18, 2007 03:49 PM

aldoushuxley said:

irg7620 said:
you know, the reason why republicans are fucked, which they should be fucked all the time, is that they want a conservative, close-minded, ignorant, one religion country. Sounds familiar don't it? Think of Iran when you read that statement. They want the same things. Republicans don't want freedom of speech/religion/of the press, or for anyone to be individuals. they want control. they want everyone to be the same just like them. they are so stupid, there shouldn't even be a republican party. why would anyone in their right mind want to vote for someone who is going to take your freedoms away? why? why? why? republicans don't want freedom of choice when it comes to abortion. they don't want gay rights. they don't want religious freedom. they want to spend more money trying to change another country than trying to change our country. we need help getting our country back to being free. yes, i am democrat. hardcore. i believe in doing things legally (as where bush wants things done illegally and then tries to get away with it). Just like that Libby character. He got sentenced for committing a federal crime. but noooooooo, bush steps in says he shouldn't do his time and bails him out. fuck head. any criminal charged, convicted and then sentenced should do the time regardless of what status they have. ok, i'm done.



Here we have a democrat speaking for what a republican wants in a president. I think what you just said right now is half the problem in our country. I am a republican and all I want is a safe place to raise my kids, god forbid I have any, a stable economy, the national debt being paid off, religious freedom, equal rights across the board for all minorities. Our boarders secured, health care revamped and our education system fixed, thats it. The crap that you were spewing is just as bad as what comes out of Ann Koulters mouth, it is not the democrats verse the republicans. As a matter of fact that mind set is what is fucking our country up even further. Arrgh why can't we all get along.



I am not going to get along with you smile

gdarklighter

gdarklighter

San Diego, CA
August 2005

JUL 18, 2007 04:13 PM

Am I the only one who thinks the fact that Al Gore v2.0 is third in the Democratic polling is probably a bad thing?

aldoushuxley

aldoushuxley

USA
November 2005

JUL 18, 2007 04:26 PM

Sigh you ruin all my fun separatist. frown

SockPuppet

SockPuppet

I'm lost
July 2006

JUL 18, 2007 05:07 PM

aldoushuxley said:
I am a republican and all I want is a safe place to raise my kids, god forbid I have any, a stable economy, the national debt being paid off, religious freedom, equal rights across the board for all minorities. Our boarders secured, health care revamped and our education system fixed, thats it.



I don't think you can have that. The economy as it stands is based on colossally imbalanced resource allocation; America's 4% of the population consumes 25% of the world's resources. The rest of the world is not going to stay poor forever; sooner or later they will figure it out. The global environment cannot provide the resources they need to close that gap.
(Your border problem is due to this, as well.)

TheFuckOffKid

TheFuckOffKid

NEWSWIRE

Australia

JUL 18, 2007 05:10 PM

redheadcd said:

aldoushuxley said:

irg7620 said:
you know, the reason why republicans are fucked, which they should be fucked all the time, is that they want a conservative, close-minded, ignorant, one religion country. [snp]



Here we have a democrat speaking for what a republican wants in a president. I think what you just said right now is half the problem in our country. I am a republican and all I want is a safe place to raise my kids, god forbid I have any, a stable economy, the national debt being paid off, religious freedom, equal rights across the board for all minorities. Our boarders secured, health care revamped and our education system fixed, thats it. The crap that you were spewing is just as bad as what comes out of Ann Koulters mouth, it is not the democrats verse the republicans. As a matter of fact that mind set is what is fucking our country up even further. Arrgh why can't we all get along.



I agree completely with aldoushuxley. I happen to be a Republican who voted Democrat in the last election, and will most likely vote Democrat in this one. It shouldn't be Republican vs. Democrat..it should be whomever the voter feels is best for the position. Stop labeling...that is the major thing wrong with this country. Republicans are not the anti-christ just because we're more conservative. Believe it or not most of us want the same things you want.



You know something?

Speaking as an outsider watching from across the water, the Republicans boiled this "vs." thing down to a fine art during and after Clinton.

If you and our boy aldous here think US citizens should be more touchy-feely and discuss issues sensibly without the partisan namecalling (and hey, I agree, good idea), can I suggest something?

Get your party of choice to get its own fucking house in order.

aldoushuxley

aldoushuxley

USA
November 2005

JUL 18, 2007 05:24 PM

By republican I do not mean I vote republican I agree with many of the issues that make a republican a republican, and unfortunately I do not have the liberty of very much free time, nor am I allowed to travel often. I wish I could do it, but hey once I am done with the military I might go into politics.

JoeatSG

JoeatSG

Philadelphia, PA
April 2006

JUL 18, 2007 06:21 PM

LostLucy said:
Did you know that abt 20% of Barack Obama's presidential campaign funds have come from registered republicans? As democrats swung to Reagan in the 80's, some relatively sane republicans are swinging for Barack, tho they might take issue with my phrase... wink

He stands a really good chance of winning, IMAO.



More like trying to pump up the guy who has no chance of winning and stopping Hill/Bill at all costs.

Soon to be President Hillary Clinton will remember and punish them all accordingly.

skeptik

skeptik

New Orleans, LA
February 2004

JUL 18, 2007 06:22 PM

Towelly said:

brandxofttl said:
Keep in mind that while I share your hatred for the Republicans, the Democrats are far from better. The Patriot Act, the very same act that allows Bush and his cronies to get away with so much, was voted for by not only Clinton and Kerry, but Obama as well. They're simply Republicans in a "liberal" disguise, claiming to be the opposition but actually having all the same friends and business partners. All of the candidates on either side are rich, self-centered, money-hungry scum...the only difference is how they present themselves to the public.



I'm pretty sure Obama wasn't in Congress in 2001. . .

I don't entirely disagree with your assessment, in that quite a few Dems seem either captive to money power or have all the backbone of a bowl of spaghetti (or both), but facts are facts, and we need to get the facts straight before we start with the editorials.



I think what he meant was that Obama voted in 2005 to reauthorize. As did Clinton and Kerry. All together 80% of Senate Democrats voted to reauthorize. And 100% of Senate Republicans did, too.

Which means that if one is limiting themselves to this single fact, then the Democrats are in fact better than the Republicans. Just not very much.

Although the result was much different in the House - with a majority of Dems voting against. And even a surprising number of House Republicans opposed.

So maybe it's not a red/blue thing, it's a Senate/House thing.

saltonsea

saltonsea

Toronto, ON
July 2004

JUL 18, 2007 07:54 PM

redheadcd said:

aldoushuxley said:

irg7620 said:
you know, the reason why republicans are fucked, which they should be fucked all the time, is that they want a conservative, close-minded, ignorant, one religion country. Sounds familiar don't it? Think of Iran when you read that statement. They want the same things. Republicans don't want freedom of speech/religion/of the press, or for anyone to be individuals. they want control. they want everyone to be the same just like them. they are so stupid, there shouldn't even be a republican party. why would anyone in their right mind want to vote for someone who is going to take your freedoms away? why? why? why? republicans don't want freedom of choice when it comes to abortion. they don't want gay rights. they don't want religious freedom. they want to spend more money trying to change another country than trying to change our country. we need help getting our country back to being free. yes, i am democrat. hardcore. i believe in doing things legally (as where bush wants things done illegally and then tries to get away with it). Just like that Libby character. He got sentenced for committing a federal crime. but noooooooo, bush steps in says he shouldn't do his time and bails him out. fuck head. any criminal charged, convicted and then sentenced should do the time regardless of what status they have. ok, i'm done.



Here we have a democrat speaking for what a republican wants in a president. I think what you just said right now is half the problem in our country. I am a republican and all I want is a safe place to raise my kids, god forbid I have any, a stable economy, the national debt being paid off, religious freedom, equal rights across the board for all minorities. Our boarders secured, health care revamped and our education system fixed, thats it. The crap that you were spewing is just as bad as what comes out of Ann Koulters mouth, it is not the democrats verse the republicans. As a matter of fact that mind set is what is fucking our country up even further. Arrgh why can't we all get along.



I agree completely with aldoushuxley. I happen to be a Republican who voted Democrat in the last election, and will most likely vote Democrat in this one. It shouldn't be Republican vs. Democrat..it should be whomever the voter feels is best for the position. Stop labeling...that is the major thing wrong with this country. Republicans are not the anti-christ just because we're more conservative. Believe it or not most of us want the same things you want.



If you don't like the 'vs.' issue, if you hate labeling, and think that a voter should just go with who is best, then why put yourself in any camp?
Why do you need to 'label' yourself?

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