Meet David Vitter. He’s an all American boy who has had a tough life. He was born into a wealthy New Orleans family and was forced to attend Harvard University, then Oxford University and finally, the Tulane University Law School. That could not have been easy. After practicing as a lawyer he was elected to the Louisiana House of Representatives in 1992. He did a six-year stint at the state level and then moved on to the big show in 1999, when he joined his fellow Republicans in the US House. Finally, in 2004, Vitter took his rightful place in the US Senate. That is a fine career. It is not often that rich people manage to make it into the Senate. Kudos, David.

His family life is pretty awesome, too. He’s got a wonderful wife and four kids, Sophie, Lisa, Airey (WTF?) and Jack. His marriage is made strong by the family’s faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

David has been a wonderful leader, especially in times of crisis. On August 30, 2005, as Hurricane Katrina hit the city of New Orleans, he told the people the truth.

He even put his fingers in his ears and screamed, "This is not happening" for an hour, but his prayers were not answered. The Lord had other ideas, but you can't say David didn't try.

If Vitter has been known for anything during his time in the US Senate, it would be his faith-based values. Why, just last week he co-wrote a letter in support of the reauthorization of the Title V Abstinence Education Program of the Social Security Act. Yeah, baby, abstinence. No fucking for the kiddies!

Fuck, yes it is, brother! Praise the Lord! Vitter has been helping America to fight off the scourge that is gay marriage. He strongly supported an Amendment to ban gay marriage.

Fuckin’ A! How often do you find a politician who cares about everything you do? Marriage is the most important thing to the survival of America! Without that bond between a man and a woman, we may as just be living like monkeys. But David has not just fought gay marriage, he has also done everything he can to stop abortion.

Amen. Vitter’s work in Congress has earned him a 100% rating from the Christian Coalition, which is almost perfect. Of course, the dirty liberals feared his faith and they attempted to slander him during his run for the Senate. He was actually accused of having sexual relations with a prostitute! David was savagely attacked by a liberal caller while on a radio program.

There you go. The man is a Christian and he has told the truth. May the devil strike down anyone who comes after this child of Jesus again. Right, David? Hello…David? Buddy, don’t leave me hanging here…

Oh, man, I did not see that coming. He seemed like such a good, Christian fella. I am totally confused. Maybe he can straighten it out for me.

When our heros fall...

That's a quality, "sorry I fucked a whore" statement. I count two “shout outs” to God, one “howdy” to his wife, one “what up?” to his family and uh, nothing about the whore he was shoving his hot, religious cock into. She just gets a subtle “sin” reference, after all that work she did. That is not very Christian, seriously.

Well, I forgive David. I don’t care all that much about prostitution. But it is illegal. And if we are going to prosecute the madam in this case, then we should certainly prosecute the men who had sex with the prostitutes. After all, if the men were not looking for sex, there would be no prostitution at all. Most importantly, Vitter should be prosecuted for sake of the nation's children. He looked out for them by opposing gay marriage and with his abstinence program, so wouldn’t it make sense that he should be prosecuted, if only to show the kids that they should not fuck whores?

Nevermind, he already asked God to forgive him, so we're all good.