• news
  • MONDAY JULY 9 2007 12:30 AM

Cindy Sheehan is the New Jason Voorhees



Cindy Sheehan will not go away. Just when you think she has disappeared into the night, back she comes, more terrifying than ever. In May, Sheehan "retired," from her "job." She put “Camp Casey” up for sale, said goodbye to her uterus and returned home.

I am going to take whatever I have left and go home. I am going to go home and be a mother to my surviving children and try to regain some of what I have lost. I will try to maintain and nurture some very positive relationships that I have found in the journey that I was forced into when Casey died and try to repair some of the ones that have fallen apart since I began this single-minded crusade to try and change a paradigm that is now, I am afraid, carved in immovable, unbendable and rigidly mendacious marble.


Americans breathed a sigh of relief. So did everyone on Earth. As well as horses. And birds and small rodents, dogs, gorillas, cats, clams, orchids, vampires, sand, robots, Volkswagons, copper wiring, shoes, mint, pants, wood, trains, rocks, fire, soccer balls, lint, rats, tobacco, ash, paint, light, bricks, bottles, shirts, winter, oxen, shoelaces, orbs, chains, water, dust, mist, gas, hobos, radar, hoses, keys, books, flies, glass, poop, hair, tequila, cacti, graffiti, mussels, oracles, unicorns, statues, windows, and every other object and creature on Earth.

But like Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers, she will not go away. Now she is back and threatening to take on Nancy Pelosi in the 2008 Congressional elections.

Antiwar activist Cindy Sheehan said Sunday that she plans to run against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) unless Pelosi introduces articles of impeachment against President Bush in the next two weeks.

Sheehan's deadline, July 23, is the same day she and her supporters are to arrive in Washington after a 13-day caravan and walking tour departing from the group's war protest site near Bush's Crawford ranch.


When a lot of people retire, they take up golf or get a hobby. But Cindy started a caravan! Hey, nutjob, I thought you were going home to take care of your surviving children? Turns out you had enough time to whip up a caravan, eh? Super. Sorry I couldn’t hitch my wagon to that. And I'm sure Pelosi is quaking in her boots about your "deadline."

Cindy the freak says she will run as an independent because Democrats and Americans feel betrayed by the Democratic leadership.” Uh, I feel disappointed, but certainly not enough to elect you. I actually might vote for Bush over you. That is how I feel about people who bury their uterus in Texas.

God, please stop.

 

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

 ... 9

Next

Comments
curtisology

curtisology

USA
April 2006

JUL 09, 2007 12:44 AM

brava

agapao

agapao

Santa Cruz, CA
December 2005

JUL 09, 2007 12:44 AM

Cindy Sheehan is on the right track. The failure of rationaltity in the US must be laid at the door of the Democratic Party. There will always be slime but Bush and Rumsfield who want to rule our world. What the US lacks is a workers' party with the integrity to stand for social justice.

agapao

agapao

Santa Cruz, CA
December 2005

JUL 09, 2007 12:48 AM

Cindy Sheehan is on the right track. The failure of rationality in the US must be laid at the door of the Democratic Party. There will always be slime like Bush, Cheney or Rumsfield who want to rule our world. What the US lacks is a workers' party with the integrity to stand for social justice.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 09, 2007 12:52 AM

Say it again, brother.

Waynbo

Waynbo

San Jose, CA
February 2007

JUL 09, 2007 12:57 AM

Awww...taking a swipe at Cindy. Thats kinda low, eh? blackeyed

Slocum

Slocum

Dallas, TX
October 2005

JUL 09, 2007 12:59 AM

and again...

warpig

warpig

United Kingdom
May 2005

JUL 09, 2007 01:56 AM

Waynbo said:
Awww...taking a swipe at Cindy. Thats kinda low, eh? blackeyed



Yeah, let's not take a swipe at someone as rational and apolitical as Cindy.

Free speech is only for criticizing republicans we hate, not for the anointed saviors (regardless of obvious mental defect).

reprobate

reprobate

New Orleans, LA
December 2002

JUL 09, 2007 02:11 AM

FearTheReaper said:
Say it again, brother.



Is there anyone you won't shit on for a cheap, bitter laugh.

*Note: actual laughs optional based on the adequacy of the "comedian".

DarkFact

DarkFact

Livermore, CA
August 2006

JUL 09, 2007 02:11 AM

Bah..I thought this thread might actually have had something important to do with the Friday the 13th series and its impending remake/re-imagining whatever

abracadabra

abracadabra

Seattle, WA
April 2004

JUL 09, 2007 02:57 AM

hot and sweaty rhyme with machete

pmonkeyEsquire

pmonkeyEsquire

I'm lost
May 2004

JUL 09, 2007 03:37 AM

The author of this piece seems to be running on the assumption that no one likes Ms. Sheehan. Unfortunately a lot of people respect and admire her, such as myself. As such the piece operates on a fallacy and is rather poor. I couldn't get past the list of "things on earth" to read if there might actually be some sort of content to the piece.

All_Sewn_Up

All_Sewn_Up

Papua New Guinea
January 2007

JUL 09, 2007 05:55 AM

FearTheReaper said:
And I'm sure Pelosi is quaking in her boots about your "deadline."


Precisely. Cindy Sheehan, for all the support she may or may not have, isn't going to unseat an incumbent of 15 years, least of all one who's Speaker of the House. She buried her fucking uterus folks - you don't need negative campaigning, she's done the creep-out work already.

Besides, it is fucking pointless to try and impeach Bush. There are plenty of more pressing, less symbolic battles to be fought. Democrats can't even muster the support (nor the scrote) to cut off funding for the most unpopular war in recent history. Just wait until he's a civilian then try him and Darth Cheney for war crimes.

aldoushuxley

aldoushuxley

USA
November 2005

JUL 09, 2007 05:58 AM

Letting that woman run is about as smart as pulling Jeffrey Dahmer out of his coffin dressing him in a tweed suit and declaring his electable status. Look there are standards that one must meet, and electing that ravenously psychotic woman or even considering her in an election would equate to allowing Ronald fucking Mcdonald to run. See alot of people get all weepy when you mention a depraved woman wrought with grief, but none of you get offended when anyone makes fun of the androgynous twenty something male that Ann Coulter is. It is all because this dumb bitches kid died in Iraq, then she went postal on a trail of evil misled doctrine. I have expressly forbid my parents doing anything like this, it is in my will and my benefactors package. I am not going to be a fucking example to be used by a God damned political party. Thats the real problem, that this psycho bitch is using her sons memory as a political weapon and it is sick. She probably said she was retiring because she spent all 450000 dollars of her sons life policy on fucking Crack. This is worse than Kerry's wives of 9/11 posse. Oh well, if I stop sending messages it probably means I got killed in Iraq, promise me Reaper you won't build a camp Huxley....

ahd

ahd

Graham, NC
January 2003

JUL 09, 2007 06:30 AM

Wow, running against Nancy Pelosi will reaaalllly show her. Cause, you know, evvvveryone is gonna vote for Cindy cause she's a true stable leader and she speaks for all of us! Right?!

_kungfoo_

_kungfoo_

Los Angeles, CA
April 2005

JUL 09, 2007 06:43 AM

I would love to see Cheney and Bush behind bars, but in our current political climate, I just don't see it. We can't even get the fuck out of Iraq.

Previous

PAGE: 

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

 ... 9

Next