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  • SUNDAY JULY 8 2007 9:00 AM

Putin Takes A Dive Into Lake Hitler



Here’s a delightful image. What if the United States had 120,000 male teenage Ann Coulters running around? Sounds like the ultimate nightmare, doesn’t it? That is what seems to be happening in Russia. They are known as “Nashi” and they speak the same extremist language as Coulter. They fanatically support Putin, call the political opposition traitors and fascists and demonize foreign powers. The only difference between Coulter and the Nashi, is that the Nashi have no problem with using physical force to make their point.

The Nashi aren’t the only group. There are also the “Young Guard” and “Walking Together.” The one thing these groups have in common is their fanatical devotion to Putin, much like the Sturmabteilung’s fanatical devotion to Hitler.

They are highly disciplined and sponsored by the Kremlin. They must receive basic military training before they can become members. The Nashi also have a volunteer “police force,” who patrol and “if necessary beat hooligans." These young militants form what is essentially a private army, devoted to one man: Putin.

Meanwhile, Putin is stoking the fires of anti-Americanism. At a recent military parade, Putin made comments about “new threats” to the world “as during the time of the Third Reich.” Pretty much the same kind of talk Adolph was spewing out during his rise to power. And the crowd at the Independence Day parade soaked it up. Mostly because the only people allowed into Red Square that day were members of the youth groups. The kids are catching on to Putin’s message.

"It is time to put an end to America being the strongest and most influential empire. We won't let America make Russia another one of its colonies."


Super and totally not creepy.

The Nashi claim they are fighting against fascism. (Exactly the same claim made in the early days of the Nazi party and by Benito Mussolini’s Blackshirts.) Unfortunately, fascists seem to only be defined as people who criticize Putin.

Meanwhile, the kids are doing some really quality work in Russia.

With parliamentary and presidential elections coming up, Nashi and its sibling movements have an obvious target—anyone who presumes to challenge Putin and his ruling clique for power. Who might they be? Nashi recently issued a leaflet identifying them. This "Gallery of Traitors," appearing in print and online, featured twisted portraits of such opposition leaders as former Prime Minister Mikhail Kasyanov and radical writer Eduard Limonov. They were declared enemies of the people, scheming to subvert their nation and turn it over to foreign spies and conspirators. Among them, too, are exiled Yeltsin-era oligarch Boris Berezovsky and Mikhail Khodorkovsky, the former billionaire brought down after he began funding opposition to Putin in 2004.


And the Young Guards are doing their thing. They have staged training sessions in how to handle an “Orange Revolution.” At the end of one training session, the Young Guards grabbed baseball bats and smashed up a mock Orange tent camp. That might discourage any future protestors a bit.

The Nashi are also using technology in ways the Nazis could have only dreamed of. They pass out brochures and SIM cards in Moscow. The SIM cards allow users to text the Kremlin, where Nashi volunteers are waiting to receive the word of whatever horrible event is occurring on the streets and respond. If any Orange revolution activity is seen, the Nashi will send out texts to their foot soldiers to respond. (Might be a really great use for the new iphones, by the way)

The Nashi are also taking their message to outlying village schools, to teach the young minds about the truth.

"Putin is a lonely wolf surrounded by rats," says Panchenko to the schoolchildren. "Russia has become too corrupt—it is time to change things, time for stronger leaders, like us."


You can’t really argue with that description of Putin. Poor, little, lonely wolf. It’s really quite scary if you think about all the rats. The Kremlin has given $220 million to help fund these little fascists. And they get some sweet perks.

Members enjoy free admission to various schools of management, where they study government, business administration or public relations. They go on to allocated internships in top state enterprises such as Gazprom, Rosneft, state-owned television stations and even the Kremlin.


The Nashi are now paying off in spades. In May, Estonia removed a statue of a WWII Soviet soldier in Tallin. The small country suddenly found itself overwhelmed by a cyber attack. Servers went down and NATO Internet security experts were brought in to combat the assault. Russian sponsored protests in Estonia left 1 dead and 99 injured. In Moscow, Estonia’s ambassador was attacked by the Nashi and were only stopped when the ambassador’s bodyguards sprayed them with mace. The ambassador and his staff were forced to flee the country. Nashi barriers shut down the highway from Moscow to Estonia. They created a large sign that read, “You are driving toward fascist Estonia.” This all happened because Estonia took down a statue. What if the small country had actually really done something negative toward Moscow. What would the reaction been then?

The world is, understandably, a little freaked out.

"Everyone is frankly scared of the way which Russia is going, but no one knows what to do about it," says one European diplomat in Moscow, not authorized to speak on the record.


Well, what can you do? This shit is off and running. It’s 1933 Germany all over again.

And you thought Bush was bad news….

 

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Comments
FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 08, 2007 11:19 AM

Zarth said:
That wasn't a criticism directed at you, you thin-skinned little butt-rodent. Go suck a bag of dicks.



Why is this so amusing coming from you?

Louis CK fan?

Vestril

Vestril

Coronado, CA
February 2003

JUL 08, 2007 11:19 AM

Mthrsuperior said:
""It is time to put an end to America being the strongest and most influential empire. We won't let America make Russia another one of its colonies."

+1



Are you kidding me? You want your direct neighbors to no longer be an economic center of power? That seems...shortsighted.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

JUL 08, 2007 11:20 AM

FearTheReaper said:

Zarth said:
That wasn't a criticism directed at you, you thin-skinned little butt-rodent. Go suck a bag of dicks.


Why is this so amusing coming from you?

Louis CK fan?


Yes, actually. Though I only first saw any of his stuff a couple weeks ago.

Vestril

Vestril

Coronado, CA
February 2003

JUL 08, 2007 11:36 AM

FearTheReaper said:

Zarth said:
Finally, FTR, the Brownshirts and Blackshirts claimed to be fighting "Bolsheviks," not Fasicsts (they were Fascists, after all - and, unlike Nashi, they were also actually fighting the people they claimed to be fighting, at least at first). It's a small factual error in an otherwise interesting article.



At the beginning of both groups, they claimed to be anti-fascist, then they went after the "Bolsheviks."

My camparison to Hilter was only in regard to his rise to power, his use of the youth and his creation of a cult of personality. Which is really all we are talking about here.

Also, there is an unrelated article on Harper's website right now.

The coming cold-snap in US - Russia relations.



That article is really interesting and just exceedingly well written.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 08, 2007 11:39 AM

Zarth said:

FearTheReaper said:

Zarth said:
That wasn't a criticism directed at you, you thin-skinned little butt-rodent. Go suck a bag of dicks.


Why is this so amusing coming from you?

Louis CK fan?


Yes, actually. Though I only first saw any of his stuff a couple weeks ago.



I think he's the best comic working today.

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

JUL 08, 2007 11:42 AM

FearTheReaper said:

Zarth said:

FearTheReaper said:

Zarth said:
That wasn't a criticism directed at you, you thin-skinned little butt-rodent. Go suck a bag of dicks.


Why is this so amusing coming from you?

Louis CK fan?


Yes, actually. Though I only first saw any of his stuff a couple weeks ago.


I think he's the best comic working today.


I kind of thought you might.

Gerry_D

Gerry_D

Los Angeles, CA
May 2003

JUL 08, 2007 11:48 AM


the Young Guards grabbed baseball bats



I'm glad baseball is catching on over there.

herbancowboy

herbancowboy

Houston, TX
June 2004

JUL 08, 2007 11:52 AM

Vestril said:

Mthrsuperior said:
""It is time to put an end to America being the strongest and most influential empire. We won't let America make Russia another one of its colonies."

+1



Are you kidding me? You want your direct neighbors to no longer be an economic center of power? That seems...shortsighted.



You do realize that Canada pretty much borders on Russia, too, right? And there's a difference between having "an economic center of power" next door and having a hegemonic behemoth next door.

[edit] Hegemony is shortsighted.

FearTheReaper

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 08, 2007 11:53 AM

Gerry_D said:


the Young Guards grabbed baseball bats



I'm glad baseball is catching on over there.



Glass half full guy, huh?

binderman

binderman

Tucson, AZ
September 2006

JUL 08, 2007 12:06 PM

It's got to be intentional that the kid in the center of the photo has a face shaped just like the face of Darth Vader's helmet. Intentional by the photographer, I mean. Or maybe by God, pushing predeterminism and all that. Working in our context, seeing how that goes. Since, you know... Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication

(JCS reference, not me thinking I'm cluing into anything profound. Multiple leapfroggings to get there, and not wanting to show my steps... the face of Darth Vader as a divine communication from God trying to get hip with the kids these days in response to Carl Anderson's Judas' very valid questions... and now, I've got to throw on that there DVD and shake it shake it shake it.)

Roethke

Roethke

SUICIDEGIRL

California, USA

JUL 08, 2007 12:12 PM

FearTheReaper said:

They are highly disciplined and sponsored by the Kremlin. They must receive basic military training before they can become members. The Nashi also have a volunteer "police force," who patrol and "if necessary beat hooligans." These young militants form what is essentially a private army, devoted to one man: Putin.



Most of the military in Russia is made up of conscripted forces (we refer to it colloqially as "the draft") who serve 1 to 2 years of service. THe military stil uses some old Soviet terminology, such as calling each other "comrade."

So requiring military training isn't really that big of a deal in Russia. It certainly makes it easier for poorer Russians to join, though.

Necia

Necia

San Francisco, CA
August 2005

JUL 08, 2007 12:16 PM

Mthrsuperior said:
""It is time to put an end to America being the strongest and most influential empire. We won't let America make Russia another one of its colonies."

+1



whatever

Zarth

zarth

Seattle, WA
December 2004

JUL 08, 2007 12:20 PM

Agt20Eight said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
It's got to be intentional that the kid in the center of the photo has a face shaped just like the face of Darth Vader's helmet. Intentional by the photographer, I mean. Or maybe by God, pushing predeterminism and all that. Working in our context, seeing how that goes. Since, you know... Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication

(JCS reference, not me thinking I'm cluing into anything profound. Multiple leapfroggings to get there, and not wanting to show my steps... the face of Darth Vader as a divine communication from God trying to get hip with the kids these days in response to Carl Anderson's Judas' very valid questions... and now, I've got to throw on that there DVD and shake it shake it shake it.)


Um, yeah.



Vestril

Vestril

Coronado, CA
February 2003

JUL 08, 2007 12:20 PM

herbancowboy said:

Vestril said:

Mthrsuperior said:
""It is time to put an end to America being the strongest and most influential empire. We won't let America make Russia another one of its colonies."

+1



Are you kidding me? You want your direct neighbors to no longer be an economic center of power? That seems...shortsighted.



You do realize that Canada pretty much borders on Russia, too, right? And there's a difference between having "an economic center of power" next door and having a hegemonic behemoth next door.

[edit] Hegemony is shortsighted.



Well, technically speaking the United States is between Russia and Canada (unless we're planning an invasion of Alaska and I didn't get the memo). Probably more importantly though, the Kamchatkan peninsula and it's neighboring areas don't seem like the center of Russian economic production. In fact it all seems a long way from Russia's centers of power, but hey--if Russo-Canadian relations are more vital then I understood, I stand humbled before you.

skeptik

skeptik

New Orleans, LA
February 2004

JUL 08, 2007 12:29 PM

Zarth said:

Agt20Eight said:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
It's got to be intentional that the kid in the center of the photo has a face shaped just like the face of Darth Vader's helmet. Intentional by the photographer, I mean. Or maybe by God, pushing predeterminism and all that. Working in our context, seeing how that goes. Since, you know... Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication

(JCS reference, not me thinking I'm cluing into anything profound. Multiple leapfroggings to get there, and not wanting to show my steps... the face of Darth Vader as a divine communication from God trying to get hip with the kids these days in response to Carl Anderson's Judas' very valid questions... and now, I've got to throw on that there DVD and shake it shake it shake it.)


Um, yeah.





Dude, can you send me a sponge? I gotta clean the coffee off of my monitor...

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